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BOSTON: 

PUBLISHED BY PERKINS & MARVIN. 
1836, 






Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1835, 

By Perkins & Marvin, 
in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of Massachusetts. 



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TO THE READER. 

When I commenced this work, my object was 
a mere compilation. There were many excellent 
books for young men, already in circulation, but 
none which I thought unexceptionable ; and some 
of them contained sentiments which I could not 
approve. I sat down, therefore, intending to make 
selections from the choicest parts of them all, and 
prepare an unexceptionable and practical manual; 
such an one as I should be willing to see in the 
hands of any youth in the community. 

In the progress of my task, however, I found 
much less that was wholly in accordance with 
my own sentiments, than I had expected. The 
result was that the project of compiling, was given 
up 3 and a work prepared, which is chiefly origi- 
nal. There are, it is true, some quotations from 
c Burgh's Dignity of Human Nature, 5 'Cobbett's 



4 TO THE READER. 

Advice to Young Men,' c Chesterfield's Advice,' 
and Hawes' Lectures; but in general what I have 
derived from other works is re-written, and much 
modified. On this account it was thought unne- 
cessary to refer to authorities in the body of the 
work. 

The object of this book is to elevate and reform. 
That it may prove useful and acceptable, as a 
means to these ends, is the hearty wish of 

THE AUTHOR. 
Boston, Dec. 9, 1833. 



ADVERTISEMENT TO THE FIRST EDITION. 

The great purpose of the Young Man's Guide, 
is the formation of such character in our young 
men as shall render them the worthy and useful 
and happy members of a great republic. To this 
end, the author enters largely into the means of 
improving the mind, the manners and the morals; 
— as well as the proper management of business. 
Something is also said on amusements, and bad 
habits. On the subject of marriage he has, how- 
ever, been rather more full than elsewhere. The 
importance of this institution to every young man, 
the means of rendering it what the Creator intend- 
ed, together with those incidental evils which 
either accompany or follow — some of them in ter- 
rible retribution — the vices which tend to oppose 
His benevolent purposes, are faithfully presented, 
and claim the special attention of every youthful 

reader. 

1 



ADVERTISEMENT TO THE SECOND EDITION. 

The rapid sale of a large edition of this work, 
and the general tribute of public praise which has 
been awarded to its merits, instead of closing the 
eyes of the Publishers or the Author against exist- 
ing defects, have, on the contrary, only deepened 
their sense of obligation to render the present edi- 
tion as perfect as possible; and no pains have been 
spared to accomplish this end. Several new sec- 
tions have been added to the work, and some of 
the former have been abridged or extended. 



ADVERTISEMENT TO THE THIRD EDITION. 

An increasing demand for the Young Man's 
Guide, evinced by the sale of more than five thou- 
sand copies of the work in a few months, have 
induced the publishers to give a third edition, with 
some amendments and additions by the author; 
who has also derived important suggestions from 
gentlemen of high literary and moral standing, to 
whom the work had been submitted for examina- 
tion. 

THE PUBLISHERS. 



CONTENTS. 



Introductio . Mistakes in regard to the disposition 
and management of the young. 19 — 26 

CHAPTER I. — Importance of aiming high in the 
Formation of Character. 

Section I. Importance of having a high standard of 
action. — The young should determine to rise. We 
may usually become what we desire to be. An anec- 
dote. Studying the lives of eminent and useful men. 

27—30 

Section II. Motives to action. — A regard to our 
own happiness. To family and friends. To society. 
To country. To the will of God. The love of God, 
the highest motive. 31 — 38 

Section III. Industry. — No person has a right to 
live without labor. Determine to labor as long as you 
live. Mistaken method of teaching industry. Labor 
in the open air. Manual labor schools. 38 — 43 



8 CONTENTS. 

Section IV. Economy. — False and true; Exam- 
ples of the false. Time is money. Sixty minutes 
shown to be an hour. Economical habits. 1. Do every 
thing at the time. Anecdote. 2. Every thing should 
have its place. Examples. 43 — 47 

Section V. Indolence. — The indolent only half 
human. Characteristics of an indolent man. His 
epitaph. 47 — 49 

Section VI. Early Rising and rest. — He who 
would rise early, must retire early. Morning air. 
Advantages of early rising. 1. Things go better 
through the day. 2. Morning hours more agreeable. 

3. Danger of the second nap. 4. Early risers long- 
lived. 5. One hour's sleep before midnight worth two 
after. 6. Saving of time and money. Estimates. Ex- 
amples of early rising. 49 — 55 

Section VII. Duty to Parents. — Reasons. 1. For 
the sake of our own reputation. 2. From love to our 
parents. 3. Better to suffer wrong, than to do wrong. 

4. Nothing gained by going away. Franklin an excep- 
tion to the general rule. No sight more beautiful than 
a well ordered and happy family. Obedience the great 
lesson of life. 56 — 59 

Section VIII. Faithfulness. — Our duty to our 
employers. Common error of the young. Examples. 
The Mahratta prince. 59—61 

Section IX. On Forming Temperate Habits. — 
Drunkenness and gluttony. Indulgence short of these. 



CONTENTS. 9 

Indulgences very expensive. Spending time at meals. 
Water drinkers the best guests. Temperate habits 
tend to health. Eeclesiasticus. Examples of rational 
living. Tea, coffee, soups, and all warm drinks in- 
jurious. General rules. 62 — 70 

Section X. Suppers. — Customs of our ancestors ; 
and of the Jews. Advantages gained by avoiding 
suppers. Eating-houses. 70 — 73 

Section XL Dress. — Its uses. Neither be first 
nor last in a fashion. - Fondness for dress. Women 
not often misled by dress. 73 — 75 

Section XII. Bashfulness and Modesty. — We may 
be both bashful and impudent. Bashfulness injurious. 
Set up for just what we are, and no more. 76 — 78 

Section XIII. Politeness and Good Breeding. — 
Not to be despised. In what good breeding consists. 
How acquired. Ten plain rules. 78 — 82 

Section XIV. Personal Habits. — Business of the 
day planned in the morning. Dressing, shaving, &c. 
Shaving with cold water. Anecdote. 82 — 88 

Section XV. Bathing and Cleanliness. — Connec- 
tion of Cleanliness with Moral Purity. Neglect of 
this subject. 88—89 

Section XVI. Little Things. — Not to be disre- 
garded. Zimmerman. The world made up of little 
things. 89—93 



10 CONTENTS* 

Section XVII. Anger, and the means of restrain-* 
ing it. Avoid the first steps. An error in education. 
Opinion of Dr. Darwin. The Quaker and the Mer- 
chant. Zimmerman's method of overcoming anger. 
Unreasonableness of returning evil for evil. 93 — 99 

CHAPTER II. — On the Management of Business. 

Section I. Commencing Business. — Avoid debt. 
Do not begin too early. Facts stated. Why young 
men do not take warning. Students of Medicine and 
Divinity. Examples for imitation. 100—108 

Section II. Importance of Integrity. — Thieves 
and robbers respect it. What it is. Many kinds of 
dishonesty. 1. Concealing the market price. 2. Mis- 
representing it. 3. Selling unsound or defective 
goods, and calling them sound and perfect. Quack med- 
icines. 4. Concealing defects. 5. Lowering the value 
of things we wish to buy. 6. Use of false weights and 
measures. Other kinds of dishonesty. 108 — 115 

Section III. Method. — Memorandum book; its 
uses. Rules for doing much business in little time. 

116—117 

Section IV. Application to Business. — Every per- 
son ought to have one principal object of pursuit, and 
steadily pursue it. Perseverance of a shopkeeper. 
All useful employments respectable. Character of a 
drone. 117—120 

Section V. Proper Time and Season of doing Bu- 



CONTENTS. 11 

siness. — When to deal with the gloomy ; the intern 
perate ; those unhappy in domestic life ; men involved 
in public concerns. 120 — 122 

Section VI. Buying upon Trust. — Live within 
our income. Calculate. Buy nothing but what you 
need. Estimates and examples to show the folly of 
credit. Not intended as lessons of stinginess. 

122—127 

Section VII. We should endeavor to do our busi- 
ness ourselves. Four reasons. Trusting dependants. 
We can do many little things without hindrance. 

127—130 

W 

Section VIII. Over Trading. — A species of fraud. 

Arises from a desire to get rich rapidly. Wickedness 

of monopolies. 130 — 131 

Section IX. Making contracts beforehand. Al- 
ways make bargains beforehand. Three reasons. If 
possible, reduce every thing to writing. 131 — 132 

Section X. How to know with whom to deal. — *■ 
Two rules. How to detect a knave. All men by na- 
ture, avaricious. Avoid those who boast of good bar- 
gains. Avoid sanguine promisers. 133 — 135 

Section XI. How to take Men as they are. — How 
to regard a miser ; a passionate man ; a slow man ; the 
covetous ; those ruled by their wives ; the boasting ; 
the mild tempered ; the bully. Six sorts of people from 
whom you are not to expect much aid or sympathy in 



12 CONTENTS. 

life : the sordid, the lazy, the busy, the rich, those mis- 
erable from poverty, and the silly. 136—140 

Section XII. Of desiring the good opinion of oth- 
ers. — Those not far from ruin who do n't care. — The 
other extreme to be avoided. 140 — 141 

Section XIII. Intermeddling with the affairs of 
others. — Matchmakers. Taking sides in quarrels. Ish- 
maelites. 142—143 

Section XIV. On keeping Secrets. — Who may 
safely be trusted. Anecdotes. 143 — 145 

Section XV. Fear of Poverty. — Little real pover- 
ty in this country. Shame of being thought poor leads 
to worse evils than poverty itself. Fear of poverty 
often a cause of suicide. 145 — 150 

Section XVI. Speculation. — The habit early form- 
ed. It is a species of gaming. Its sources. 

150—152 

Section XVII. Lawsuits. — Avoid the law. Liti- 
giousness, a disease. Consider what is gained by it. 
Examples of loss. Subdue the passions which lead to 
it. Lawsuits unnecessary. 152 — 156 

Section XVIII. Hard dealing. — Its unchristian 
nature. Two prices. Habits of the Mohammedans. 

156—157 



CONTENTS. 13 

CHAPTER III.— On Amusements and Indulgences. 

Section I. On Gaming. — Every gambler a robber. 
The first player. Gaming produces nothing. Cor- 
rupts manners. Discourages industry. Opinions of 
Locke and others. What tremendous evils it leads 
to. France, England. Different sorts of gaming. 

1. Cards ) dice, and billiards. 2. Shooting matches. 
These brutal practices still sometimes tolerated. 3. 
Horse racing and cock fighting. A recent bull fight. 

158—171 

Section II. On Lotteries. — Lotteries the worst spe- 
cies of Gaming. They are a species of swindling. 
Estimates to show their folly. Appeal to the reader. 

171—176 

Section III. The Theatre. — A school of vice. 
Injurious to health. Diseases produced by it. Its 
danger to morals. Opinions and facts from Griscom, 
Rousseau, Hawkins, Tillotson, Collier, Hale, Burgh, 
and Plato. Anecdote. Antiquity of theatres. No 
safety but in total abstinence. 176 — 183 

Section IV. Use of Tobacco. — 1. Smoking. Pic- 
ture of its evils in Germany. Tobacco consumed 
in the United States. When it was introduced. None 
recommend it to their children. A most powerful 
poison. Savages fond of it, in proportion to their de- 
gradation. No poisonous plant, so much used, except 
the betel of India. How smoking can be abolished. 

2. Chewing. Apologies for the practice. Tobacco 
does not preserve teeth. 3. Taking snuff. Disgust 
and danger of this habit. 183 — 191 



14 CONTENTS. 

Section V. Useful Recreations. — Recreations in 
the open air. Playing ball ; quoits ; nine pins, &c. 
Skating. Dancing. Its uses and dangers. Reading 
sometimes a recreation. Sports of the field considered. 

191—194 

CHAPTER IV. — Improvement of the Mind. 

Section I. Habits of Observation. — We should 
keep our l eyes open.' Anecdote from Dr. Dwight. 
Avoid pedantry. Anecdote of a surgeon; — of the 
elder and younger Pliny. 195 — 199 

Section II. Rules for Conversation. — Rules of pro- 
fiting from it. Hear others. Do not interrupt them. 
Avoid those who use vulgar or profane language. 
Speak late yourself. Avoid great earnestness. Never 
be overbearing. 199 — 202 

Section III. On Books and Study. — How to over- 
come a dislike to them. Lyceums, Travels, Histories, 
Newspapers. A common mistake. Education only 
the key to knowledge. Men have commenced stu- 
dents at 40. Franklin always a learner. We can 
find time for study. Practical Studies. 1. Geography. 
How to study it. Its importance. 2. History. How 
pursued. 3. Arithmetic. Practical arithmeticians. 
The mere use of the pen and pencil do not give 
a knowledge of this branch. 4. Chemistry, and other 
Natural Sciences. Usefulness of Chemistry . 5. Grain- 
mar and Composition. One method of obtaining 
a practical knowledge of these branches. C. Letter 



CONTENTS. 15 

writing. 7. Voyages, travels, and biography. 8. Nov- 
els. Not recommended, especially to those who have 
little leisure. 9. Newspapers. Newspapers, though 
productive of much evil, on the whole useful. Five 
rules to assist the reader in making a judicious selec- 
tion. Politics. History and constitution of our coun- 
try studied. 10. Keeping a Journal. Examples. 
Other ways of improving the mind.- Blank book, 
with pencil in our pockets. 11. Preservation of Books 
and Papers. Books should be covered ; kept clean ; 
used with dry hands. Turning down leaves. Using 
books for pillows, props, to windows, seats, &c. 

202—229 

CHAPTER V. — Social and Moral Improvement. 

Section I. Female Society, in general. — Both sexes 
should be educated together. What we are to think 
of those who despise female society. How it polishes 
and improves us. 230 — 234 

Section II. Advice and Friendship of Mothers. 

234—235 

Section III. Society of Sisters — Attentions due 
them. Their benefit. 236—237 

Section IV. General Remarks and Advice. — Too 
great intimacy. Avoid trifling. Beware of idolatry. 

238—241 

Section V. Lyceums and other Social Meetings. — 



16 CONTENTS. 

Value of Lyceums, and courses of lectures. How they 
might be improved. Their cheapness. 241 — 243 

Section VI. Moral Instruction. — Sabbath Schools 
and Bible Classes. Value of the latter. 243—244 

Section VII. Of Female Society in reference to 
Marriage. — Every youth should keep matrimony in 
view. Particular advice. The wish to marry, pru- 
dently indulged, will have a great influence on our 
character. Error of a pedagogue. 244 — 250 



CHAPTER VI. — Marriage. 

Section I. Why Matrimony is a duty. — Importance 
of the subject. Considered as a school. Early mar- 
riage. Objections. Seven great evils from late mar- 
riages. 251 — 258 

Section II. General Considerations. — Husbands and 
wives gradually resemble each other. Considerations 
for those who embark in matrimony. 258 — 262 

Section III. Female Qualifications for Matrimony. 
— 1. Moral Excellence. 2. Common Sense. 3. Desire 
for improvement. 4. Fondness for children. Mise- 
rable condition of a husband or wife, where this is 
wanting. 5. Love of domestic concerns. Evils of 
ignorance on this point. Fashionable education in 
fault. 6. Sobriety. Definition of the term. An anec- 
dote. Love of mental and bodily excitement usually 
connected. 7. Industry. How to judge whether a 



CONTENTS. 17 

person is industrious. 8. Early rising. A mark of 
industry. Late rising difficult of cure. 9. Frugality. 
Its importance shown. 10. Personal Neatness. Its 
comforts. 11. A good temper. Its importance illus- 
trated. 12. Accomplishments. 263 — 305 



CHAPTER VII. —Criminal Behavoir. 

Section I. Inconstancy and Seduction. — Constancy. 
Its importance illustrated by an example. Cruelty of 
sporting with the affections of a female. Opinion of 
Burgh. 306—313 

Section II. Licentiousness. — Most common in 
cities. New Orleans. Hint to legislators. A horrid 
picture. Not wholly imaginary. Avoid the first erring 
step. Example of premature decrepitude. Anecdote 
of C. S. Solitary vice. This vice compared with 
intemperance. A set of wretches exposed. Apologies 
sometimes made. Nature of the evils this error pro- 
duces. The law of God. Medical testimony. Entire 
celibacy, or purity, not unfavorable to health. Youth 
ought to consider this, and study the human frame. 
Causes of the error in question. 1. False delicacy. 
Our half Mohammedan education. 2. Books, Pic- 
tures, &c. Great extent of this evil. Opinion of Dr. 
D wight. 3. Obscene and improper songs. Anecdote 
of a schoolmaster. 4. Double entendres. Parental 
errors. Evening Parties. 314 — 337 



18 CONTENTS. 

Section III. Diseases of Licentiousness. Nine or 
ten of them enumerated. The ninth described. Four 
examples of suffering. When the young ought to 
tremble. Happiness of having never erred. What 
books may be safely and usefully consulted. Extract 
from Rees' Cyclopedia. Other forms of disease. Of 
excess. All degrees of vice are excessive. Duties of 
Parents as guides to the young. Obligations of Medi- 
cal men. Concluding Remarks. 337 — 354 



INTRODUCTION. 



The young are often accused of being thought- 
less, rash, and unwilling to be advised. 

That the former of these charges is in a great 
measure just, is not denied. Indeed, what else 
could be expected? They are thoughtless, for they 
are yet almost strangers to the world, and its cares 
and perplexities. They are forward, and some- 
times rash; but this generally arises from that 
buoyancy of spirits, which health and vigor im- 
part. True, it is to be corrected, let the cause.be 
what it may; but we shall correct with more 
caution, and probably with greater success, when 
we understand its origin. 

That youth are unwilling to he advised, as a gen- 
eral rule, appears to me untrue. At least I have not 
found it so. When the feeling does exist, I believe 
it often arises from parental mismanagement, or 
from an unfortunate method of advising. 



20 INTRODUCTION. 

The infant seeks to grasp the burning lamp; — 
the parent endeavors to dissuade him from it. At 
length he grasps it, and suffers the consequences. 
Finally, however, if the parent manages him pro- 
perly, he learns to follow his advice, and obey his 
indications, in order to avoid pain. Such, at least, 
is the natural result of rational management. And 
the habit of seeking parental counsel, once formed, 
is not easily eradicated. It is true that temptation 
and forgetfulness may lead some of the young 
occasionally to grasp the lamp, even after they are 
told better; but the consequent suffering generally 
restores them to their reason. It is only when the 
parent neglects or refuses to give advice, and for 
a long time manifests little or no sympathy with his 
child, that the habit of filial reliance and confidence 
is destroyed. In fact there are very few children 
indeed, however improperly managed, who do not 
in early life acquire a degree of this confiding, 
inquiring, counsel-seeking disposition. 

Most persons, as they grow old, forget that they 
have ever been young themselves. This greatly 
disqualifies them for social enjoyment. It was 
wisely said; c He who would pass the latter part of 
his life with honor and decency, must, when he is 
young, consider that he shall one day be old, and 
when he is old, remember that he has once been 
young.' But if forgetfulness on this point disqual- 
ifies a person for self enjoyment, how much more 
for that which is social ? 



INTRODUCTION. 21 

Still more does it disqualify us for giving advice. 
While a lad, I was at play, one day, with my mates, 
when two gentlemen observing us, one of them 
said to the other; c Do you think you ever acted as 
foolishly as those boys do ? 5 c Why yes; I suppose 
I did; ' was the reply. ' Well, 5 said the other, C I 
never did; — I know I never did. 3 

Both of these persons has the name of parent, 
but he who could not believe he had ever acted like 
a child himself, is greatly destitute of the proper 
parental spirit. He never — or scarcely ever — puts 
himself to the slightest inconvenience to promote, 
directly, the happiness of the young, even for half 
an hour. 

He supposes every child ought to be grave, like 
himself. If he sees the young engaged in any of 
those exercises which are really adapted to their 
years, he regards it as an entire loss of time, besides 
being foolish and unreasonable. He would have 
them at work, or at their studies. Whereas there 
is scarcely anything that should give a parent more 
pleasure than to see his children, in their earliest 
years, enjoying that flow of spirits, which leads 
them forth to active, vigorous, blood-stirring sports. 

Of all persons living, he who does not remember 
that he has once been young, is the most completely 
disqualified for giving youthful counsel. He ob- 
trudes his advice occasionally, when the youth is 



22 INTRODUCTION. 

already under temptation, and borne along with 
the force of a vicious current; but because he dis- 
regards it, he gives him up as heedless, perhaps as 
obstinate. If advice is afterwards asked, his man- 
ners are cold and repulsive. Or perhaps he frowns 
him away, telling him he never follows his advice, 
and therefore it is useless to give it. So common 
is it to treat the young with a measure of this spe- 
cies of roughness, that I cannot wonder the maxim 
has obtained that the young, generally, c despise 
counsel. 5 And yet, I am fully convinced, no max- 
im is farther from the truth. 

When we come to the very close of life, we can- 
not transfer, in a single moment, that knowledge 
of the world and of human nature which an expe- 
rience of 70 years has afforded us. If, therefore, 
from any cause whatever, we have not already 
dealt it out to those around us, it is likely to be lost; 
— and lost for ever. Now is it not a pity that what 
the young would regard as an invaluable treasure, 
could they come at it in such a manner, and at 
such seasons, as would be agreeable to them, and 
that, too, which the old are naturally so fond of 
distributing, should be buried with their bodies? 

Let me counsel the young, then, to do every 
thing they can, consistently with the rules of good 
breeding, to draw forth from the old the treasures 
of which I have been speaking. Let them even 
make some sacrifice of that buoyant feeling which, 



INTRODUCTION. 23 

at their age, is so apt to predominate. Let them 
conform, for the time, in some measure, to the 
gravity of the aged, in order to gain their favor, 
and secure their friendship and confidence. I do 
not ask them wholly to forsake society, or their 
youthful pastimes for this purpose, or to become 
grave habitually; for this would be requiring too 
much. But there are moments when old people, 
however disgusted they may be with the young, do 
so far unbend themselves as to enter into cheerful 
and instructive conversation. I can truly say that 
when a boy, some of my happiest hours were spent 
in the society of the aged — those too, who were 
not always what they should have been. The old 
live in the past, as truly as the young do in the 
future. Nothing more delights them than to relate 
stories of 'olden time,' especially when themselves 
were the heroes. But they will not relate them, 
unless there is somebody to hear. Let the young 
avail themselves of this propensity, and make the 
most of it. Some may have been heroes in war; 
some in travelling the country; others in hunting, 
fishing, agriculture or the mechanic arts; and it 
may be that here and there one will boast of his 
skill, and relate stories of his success in that noblest 
of arts and employments — the making of his fel- 
low creatures wise, and good, and happy. 

In conversation with all these persons, you will 
doubtless hear much that is uninteresting. But 



24 INTRODUCTION. 

where will you find anything pure or perfect below 
the sun ? The richest ores contain dross. At the 
same time you cannot fail, unless the fault is your 
own, to learn many valuable things from them all. 
From war stories, you will learn history; from 
accounts of travels, geography, human character, 
manners and customs* and from stories of the good 
or ill treatment which may have been experienced, 
you will learn how to secure the one, and avoid 
the other. From one person you will learn one 
thing; from another something else. Put these 
shreds together, and in time you will form quite 
a number of pages in the great book of human 
nature. You may thus, in a certain sense, live 
several lives in one. 

One thing more is to be remembered. The 
more you have, the more you are bound to give. 
Common sense, as well as the Scripture, says, ( It 
is more blessed to give than to receive. 3 Remem- 
ber that as you advance in years you are bound to 
avoid falling into the very errors which, c out of 
your own mouth' you have c condemned ' in those 
who have gone before you; and to make your- 
selves as acceptable as you can to the young, in 
order to secure their confidence, and impart to 
them, little by little, those accumulated treasures 
of experience which you have acquired in going 
through life, but which must otherwise, to a very 
great extent, be buried with you in your graves. 



INTRODUCTION. 25 

But, my young friends, there is one method be- 
sides conversation, in which you may come at the 
wisdom of the aged ; and that is through the me- 
dium of books. Many old persons have written 
well, and you cannot do better than to avail your- 
selves of their instructions. This method has even 
one advantage over conversation. In the perusal 
of a book, you are not so often prejudiced or disgust- 
ed by the repulsive and perhaps chilling manner 
of him who wrote it, as you might have been from 
his conversation and company. 

I cannot but indulge the hope that you will find 
some valuable information and useful advice in this 
little book. It has cost me much labor to embody, 
in so small a compass, the results of my own expe- 
rience on sucn a variety of subjects, and to arrange 
my thoughts in such a manner as seemed to me 
most likely to arrest and secure your attention. 
The work, however, is not wholly the result of my 
own experience, for I have derived many valuable 
thoughts from other writers. 

An introductory chapter or preface is usually 
rather dry, but if this should prove sufficiently 
interesting to deserve your attention till you have 
read it, and the table of contents, thoroughly, I have 
strong hopes that you will read the rest of the book. 
And in accordance with my own principles, I be- 
lieve you will try to follow my advice ; for I take it 
3 



26 INTRODUCTION. 

for granted that none will purchase and read this 
work but such as are willing to be advised. I 
repeat it, therefore — I go upon the presumption 
that my advice will, in the main, be followed. 
Not at every moment of your lives, it is true ; for 
you will be exposed on all sides to temptation, and, 
I fear, sometimes fall. But when you come to re- 
view the chapter (for I hope I have written nothing 
but what is worth a second reading) which contains 
directions on that particular subject wherein you 
have failed, and find, too, how much you have 
suffered by neglecting counsel, and rashly seizing 
the lamp, I am persuaded you will not soon fall 
again in that particular direction. 

In this view, I submit these pages to the youth 
of our American States. If the work should not 
please them, I shall be so far from attributing it to 
any fault or perversity of theirs, that I shall at once 
conclude I have not taken a wise and proper 
method of presenting my instructions. 



THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



CHAPTER 1. 

<£n tjje JFormatiott of <&paracter. 



Section I. Importance of aiming high, in the for- 
mation of character. 

To those who have carefully examined the intro- 
duction and table of contents, I am now prepared 
to give the following genera) direction ; Fix upon a 
high standard of character. To be thought well of, 
is not sufficient. The point you are to aim at, is, 
the greatest possible degree of usefulness. 

Some may think there is danger of setting too 
high a standard of action. I have heard teachers 
contend that a child will learn to write much faster 
by having an inferior copy, than by imitating one 
which is comparatively perfect ; ' because,' say they, 
' a pupil is liable to be discouraged if you give him 
a perfect copy ; but if it is only a little in advance 
of his own, he will take courage from the belief 
that he shall soon be able to equal it.' I am fully 



28 

A perfect copy. Aim high. Some have no leading object. 

convinced, however, that this is not so. The more 
perfect the copy you place before the child, pro- 
vided it be written, and not engraved, the better. 
For it must always be possible in the nature of 
things, for the child to imitate it ; and what is not 
absolutely impossible, every child may reasonably 
be expected to aspire after, on the principle, that 
whatever man has done, man may do. 

So in human conduct, generally; whatever is 
possible should be aimed at. Did my limits permit, 
I might show that it is a part of the divine economy 
to place before his rational creatures a perfect stand- 
ard of action, and to make it their duty to come up 
to it. 

He who only aims at little, will accomplish but 
little. Expect great things, and attempt great things. 
A neglect of this rule produces more of the diffe- 
rence in the character, conduct, and success of men, 
than is commonly supposed. Some start in life 
without any leading object at all ; some with a low 
one; and some aim high: — and just m proportion 
to the elevation at which they aim, will be their 
progress and success. It is an old proverb that he 
who aims at the sun, will not reach it, to be sure ; 
but his arrow will fly higher than if he aims at an 
object on a level with himself. Exactly so is it, in 
the formation of character, except in one point. To 
reach the sun with a arrow is an impossibility, but a 
youth may aim high without attempting impossi- 
bilities. 



ON HAVING A HIGH Alx\I. 29 

Resolve to~be useful. Eminent models. Anecdote. 

Let me repeat the assurance that, as a general 
rule, you may be ivhatever you ivill resolve to be. De- 
termine that you will be useful in the world, and 
you shall be. Young men seem to me utterly un- 
conscious of what they are capable of being and 
doing. Their efforts are often few and feeble, be- 
cause they are not awake to a full conviction that 
any thing great or distinguished is in their power. 

But whence came an Alexander, a Caasar, a 
Charles XII, or a Napoleon ? Or whence the bet- 
ter order of spirits, — a Paul, an Alfred, a Luther, a 
Howard, a Penn, a Washington ? Were not these 
men once like yourselves? What but self exertion, 
aided by the blessing of Heaven, rendered these 
men so conspicuous for usefulness ? Rely upon it, 
— what these men once were, you may be. Or at 
the least, you may make a nearer approach to them, 
than you are ready to believe. Resolution is almost 
omnipotent. Those little words, try, and begin, are 
sometimes great in their results. ' I can't,' never ac- 
complished any thing; — 'I will try,' has achieved 
wonders. 

This position might be proved, and illustrated 
by innumerable facts ; but one must suffice. 

A young man who had wasted his patrimony by 
profligacy, whilst standing, one day, on the brow 
of a precipice from which he had determined to 
throw himself, formed the sudden resolution to re- 
gain what he had lost. The purpose thus formed was 
kept ; and though he began by shoveling a load of 



30 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Use of Biography. Prospects of a happy age. 

coals into a cellar, for which he only received twelve 
and a half cents, yet he proceeded from one step to 
another till he more than recovered his lost posses- 
sions, and died worth sixty thousand pounds sterl- 
ing. 

You will derive much advantage from a careful 
perusal of the lives of eminent individuals, especi- 
ally of those who were good as well as great. You 
will derive comparatively little benefit from read- 
ing the lives of those scourges of their race who 
have drenched the earth in blood, except so far as 
it tends to show you what an immense blessing 
they might have been to the world, had they de- 
voted to the work of human improvement those 
mighty energies which were employed in human 
destruction. Could the physical and intellectual en- 
ergy of Napoleon, the order and method of Alfred, 
the industry, frugality, and wisdom of Franklin 
and Washington, and the excellence and untiring 
perseverance of Paul, and Penn, and Howard, be 
united in each individual of the rising generation, 
who can set limits to the good, which they might, 
and inevitably would accomplish ! Is it too much 
to hope that some happier age will witness the real- 
ity ? Is it not even probable that the rising genera- 
tion may afford many such examples ? 



MOTIVES TO ACTION. 31 

Pursuit of happiness. Selfishness. Regard to friends. 

Section II. On Motives to action. 

Not a few young men either have no fixed prin- 
ciples, no governing motive at all, or they are in- 
fluenced by those which are low and unworthy. It 
is painful to say this, but it is too true. On such, 
1 would press the importance of the following con- 
siderations. 

Among the motives to action which I would pre- 
sent, the first is a regard to your own happiness. To 
this you are by no means indifferent at present. 
Nay, the attainment of happiness is your primary 
object. You seek it in every desire, word, and ac- 
tion. But you sometimes mistake the road that 
leads to it, either for the want of a friendly hand to 
guide you, or because you refuse to be guided. Or 
what is most common, you grasp at a smaller good, 
which is near, and apparently certain, and in so 
doing cut yourselves off from the enjoyment of a 
good which is often infinitely greater, though more 
remote. 

Let me urge, in the second place, a regard for 
the family to which you belong. It is true you 
can never fully know, unless the bitterness of in- 
gratitude should teach you, the extent of the duty 
you owe to your relatives ; and especially to your 
parents. You cannot know — at least till you are 
parents yourselves, — how their hearts are bound 
up in yo ui*s» But if you do not in some measure 



32 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Regard to society. Duties of the young, as Americans." 

know it, till this late period, you are not fit to be 
parents. 

In the third place, it is due to society, particu- 
larly to the neighborhood or sphere in which you 
move, and to the associations to which you may 
belong, that you strive to attain a very great eleva- 
tion of character. Here, too, I am well aware 
that it is impossible, at your age, to perceive fully, 
how much you have it in your power to contribute, 
if you will, to the happiness of those around you ; 
and here again let me refer you to the advice and 
guidance of aged friends. 

But, fourthly, it is due to the nation and age to 
which you belong, that you fix upon a high stand- 
ard of character. This work is intended for 
American youth. American! did I say? This 
word, alone, ought to call forth all your energies, 
and if there be a slumbering faculty within you ; 
arouse it to action. Never, since the creation, were 
the youth of any age or country so imperiously 
called upon to exert themselves, as those whom 1 
now address. Never before were there so many 
important interests at stake. Never were such 
immense results depending upon a generation of 
men, as upon that which is now approaching the 
stage of action. These rising millions are destined, 
according to all human probability, to form by far 
the greatest nation that ever constituted an entire 
community of freemen, since the world began. To 
form the character of these millions involves a 



MOTIVES TO ACTION. 33 

How much depends on the young. Appeal. Duty to God. 

greater amount of responsibility, individual and col- 
lective, than any other work to which humanity 
has ever been called. And the reasons are, it seems 
to me, obvious. 

Now it is for you, my young friends, to determine 
whether these weighty responsibilities shall be ful- 
filled. It is for you to decide whether this greatest 
of free nations shall, at the same time, be the best 
And as every nation is made up of individuals, you 
are each, in reality, called upon daily, to settle this 
question: i Shall the United States, possessing the 
most ample means of instruction within the reach 
of nearly all her citizens, the happiest govern- 
ment, the healthiest of climates, the greatest abun- 
dance of the best and most wholesome nutriment, 
with every other possible means for developing all 
the powers of human nature, be peopled with the 
most vigorous, powerful, and happy race of human 
beings which the world has ever known ? ' 

There is another motive to which I beg leave, 
for one moment, to direct your attention. You are 
bound to fix on a high standard of action, from the 
desire of obeying the will of God. He it is who 
has cast your lot in a country which — all things 
considered — is the happiest below the sun. He 
it is who has given you such a wonderful capacity 
for happiness, and instituted the delightful rela- 
tions of parent and child, and brother and sister, 
and friend and neighbor. I might add, He it is, 
too, who has given you the name American, — a 



34 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE, 

Objection. Founded on mistake. Explanation. 

name which alone furnishes a passport to many- 
civilized lands, and like a good countenance, or a 
becoming dress, prepossesses every body in your 
favor. 

But what young man is there, I may be asked, 
Who is not influenced more or less, by all the mo- 
tives which have been enumerated ? Who is there 
that does not seek his own happiness ? Who does 
not desire to please his parents and other relative^, 
his friends and his neighbors ? Who does not wish 
to be distinguished for his attachment to country 
and to liberty ? Nay, who has not even some regard, 
in his conduct, to the will of God ? 

I grant that many young men, probably the most 
of those into whose hands this book will be likely 
to fall, are influenced, more or less, by all these con- 
siderations. All pursue their own happiness, no 
doubt. By far the majority of the young have, 
also, a general respect for the good opinion of 
others, and the laws of the Creator. 

Still, do not thousands and tens of thousands mis- 
take, as I have already intimated, in regard to what 
really promotes their own happiness ? Is there any 
certainty that the greatest happiness of a creature can 
be secured without consulting the will of the Crea- 
tor ? And do not those young persons greatly err, 
who suppose that they can secure a full amount, even 
of earthly blessings, without conforming, with the 
utmost strictness, to those rules for conduct, which 
the Bible and the Book of Nature, so plainly make 
known ? 



MOTIVES TO ACTION. 35 



Avarice. Sensuality. Ambition. Their tendency. 

Too many young men expect happiness from 
wealth. This is their great object of study and 
action, by night and by day. Not that they suppose 
there is an inherent value in the wealth itself, but 
only that it will secure the means of procuring the 
happiness they so ardently desire. But the farther 
they go, in the pursuit of wealth, for the sake of 
happiness, especially if successful in their plans and 
business, the more they forget their original pur 
pose, and seek wealth for the sake of wealth. To 
get rich, is then* principal motive to action. 

So it is in regard to the exclusive pursuit of 
sensual pleasure, or civil distinction. The farther 
we go, the more we lose our original character, 
and the more we become devoted to the objects 
of pursuit, and incapable of being roused by other 
motives. 

The laws of God, whether we find them in the 
constitution of the universe around us, or go higher 
and seek them in the revealed word, are founded 
on a thorough knowledge of human nature, and all 
its tendencies. Do you study natural science — the 
laws which govern matter, animate and inanimate ? 
What is the lesson which it constantly inculcates, 
but that it is man's highest interest not to violate or 
attempt to violate the rules which Infinite Wisdom 
has adopted ; and that every violation of his laws 
brings punishment a^ng with it? Do you study 
the laws of God, as revealed in the Bible ? And do 
not they, too, aim to inculcate the necessity of con- 



36 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Study of nature. Morality. Something still higher. 

stant and endless obedience to his will, at the same 
time that their rejection is accompanied by the 
severest penalties which heaven and earth can in- 
flict? What, in short, is the obvious design of 
the Creator, wherever and whenever any traces of 
his character and purposes can be discovered? 
What, indeed, but to show us that it is our most 
obvious duty and interest to love and obey Him ? 

The young man whose highest motives are to 
seek his own happiness, and please his friends and 
neighbors, and the world around him, does much. 
This should never be denied. He merits much — 
not in the eye of God, for of this I have nothing to 
say in this volume — but from his fellow men. And 
although he may have never performed a single 
action from a desire to obey God, and make his 
fellow men really better, as well as happier, he may 
still have been exceedingly useful, compared with a 
large proportion of mankind. 

But suppose a young man possesses a character 
of this stamp — and such there are. How is he 
ennobled, how is the dignity of his nature advanced, 
how is he elevated from the rank of a mere com- 
panion of creatures, — earthly creatures, too, — to 
that of a meet companion and fit associate for the 
inhabitants of the celestial world, and the Father of 
all ; when to these traits, so excellent and amiable in 
themselves, is joined the pure and exalted desire to 
pursue his studies and his employments, his pleas- 
ures and his pastimes — in a word, every thing — 



MOTIVES TO ACTION. 37 

"Love of God the highest motive. How it is shown. 

even the most trifling concern which is ivorth doing, 
exactly as God would wish to have it done ; and 
make the means of so doing, his great and daily- 
study ? 

This, then, brings us to the highest of human 
motives to action, the love of God. Thou shalt love 
the Lord thy God supremely, and thou shalt love 
thy neighbor as thyself, are the two great commands 
which bind the human family together. When 
our love to God is evinced by pure love to man, 
and it is our constant -prayer, * Lord what wilt thou 
have me to do ; ' then we come under the influence 
of motives which are worthy of creatures destined 
to immortality. When it is our meat and drink, from 
a sacred regard to the Father of our spirits, and of 
all things in the universe, material and immaterial, 
to make every thought, word and action, do good — 
have a bearing upon the Welfare of one or more, 
and the more the better — of our race, then alone 
do we come up to the dignity of our nature, and, 
by Divine aid, place ourselves in the situation for 
which the God of nature and of grace designed us. 

I have thus treated, at greater length than 1 had at 
first intended, of the importance of having an elevat- 
ed aim. and of the motives to action. On the means by 
which young men are to attain this elevation, it is the 
purpose of this little work to dwell plainly and fully. 
These means might be classed in three great divi- 
sions ; viz. physical, mental, and moral. Whatever re- 
4 



38 THE YOUNG MANS GUIDE. 

Every person should labor. Numerous employments. 

lates to the health, belongs to the first division ; what- 
ever to the improvement of the mind, the second ; 
and the formation of good manners and virtuous 
habits, constitutes the third. But although an ar- 
rangement of this sort might have been more logical, 
it would probably have been less interesting to the 
reader. The means of religious improvement, ap- 
propriately so called, require a volume of themselves. 



Section III. Industry. 

Nothing is more essential to usefulness and hap- 
piness in life, than habits of industiy. ' This we 
commanded you,' says St. Paul, that if any would 
not work, neither should he eat.' Now this would 
be the sober dictate of good sense, had the apostle 
never spoken. It is just as true now as it was 2000 
years ago, that no person possessing a sound mind 
in a healthy body, has a right to live in this world 
without labor. If he claims an existence on any 
other condition, let him betake himself to some 
other planet. 

There are many kinds of labor. Some which 
are no less useful than others, are almost exclusively 
mental. You may make your own selection from a 
very wide range of employments, all, perhaps, equal- 
ly important to society. But something you must 
do. Even if you happen to inherit an ample for- 
tune, your health and happiness demand that you 
should labor. To live in idleness, even if you have 



INDUSTRY. 39 



Sel f dependence. Misery of relying on others. Slave ry . 

the means, is not only injurious to yourself, but a 
species of fraud upon the community, and the chil- 
dren, — if children you ever have, — who have a 
claim upon you for what you can earn and do. 

Let me prevail with you then, when I urge you 
to set out hi life fully determined to depend chiefly 
on yourself, for pecuniaiy support ; and to be in 
this respect, independent. In a countiy where the 
general rule is that a person shall rise, — if he rise at 
all, — by his own merit, such a resolution is indispen- 
sable. It is usually idle to be looking out for sup- 
port from some other quarter. Suppose you should 
obtain a place of office or trust through the friend- 
ship, favor, or affection of others ; what then ? Why, 
you hold your post at uncertainties. It may be 
taken from you at almost any hour. But if you 
depend on yourself alone, in this respect, your 
mountain stands strong, and cannot very easily be 
moved. 

He who lives upon any thing except his own 
labor, is incessantly surrounded by rivals. He is in 
daily danger of being out-bidden ; his very bread 
depends upon caprice, and he lives in a state of 
never ceasing fear. His is not, indeed, the dog's life, 
* hunger and idleness,' but it is worse ; for it is * idle- 
ness with slavery? the latter being just the price of 
the former. 

Slaves, are often well fed and decently clothed; 
but they dare not speak. They dare not be suspect- 
ed even to think differently from their master, des- 



40 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Mental Slavery. We should labor as long as we live. 

pise his acts as much as they may ; — let him be 
tyrant, drunkard, fool, or all three at once, they 
must either be silent, or lose his approbation. 
Though possessing a thousand times his knowledge, 
they yield to his assumption of superior under- 
standing ; though knowing it is they who, in fact, do 
all that he is paid for doing, it is destruction to them 
to seem as if they thought any portion of the service 
belonged to themselves. 

You smile, perhaps, and ask what all this tirade 
against slavery means. But remember, there is 
slavery of several kinds. There is mental slavery 
as well as bodily ; and the former is not confined to 
any particular division of the United States. 

Begin, too, with a determination to labor through 
life. There are many who suppose that when they 
have secured to themselves a competence, they shall 
sit with folded arms, in an easy chair, the rest of 
their days, and enjoy it. But they may be assured 
that this will never do. The very fact of a person's 
having spent the early and middle part of life in 
active usefulness, creates a necessity, to the body 
and mind, of its continuance. By this is not meant 
that men should labor as hard in old age, even in 
proportion to their strength, as in early life. Youth 
requires a great variety and amount of action, matu- 
rity not so much, and age still less. Yet so much 
as age does, in fact, demand, is more necessary than 
to those who are younger. Children are so tena- 
cious of life, that they do not appear to suffer 



INDUSTRY. 41 



Evils of idleness. Anecdote. Labor in the open air. 

immediately, if exercise is neglected ; though a day 
of reckoning must finally come. 

Hence we see the reason why those who retire 
from business towards the close of life, so often 
become diseased, in body and mind ; and instead of 
enjoying life, or making those around them happy, 
become a source of misery to themselves and 
others. 

Most people have a general belief in the impor- 
tance of industrious habits ; and yet not a few make 
strange work in endeavoring to form them. Some 
attempt to do it by compulsion ; others by flattery. 
Some think it is to be accomplished by set lessons, 
in spite of example ; others by example alone. 

A certain father who was deeply convinced of 
the importance of forming his sons to habits of in- 
dustry, used to employ them whole days in remov- 
ing and replacing heaps of stones. This was well 
intended, and arose from regarding industry as a 
high accomplishment ; but there is some danger of 
defeating our own purpose in this way, and of pro- 
ducing disgust. Besides this, labor enough can 
usually be obtained which is obviously profitable. 

All persons, without exception, ought to labor 
more or less, every day in the open air. Of the truth 
of this opinion, the public are beginning to be sensi- 
ble; and hence we hear much said, lately, about 
manual labor schools. Those who, from particular 
circumstances, cannot labor in the open ah', should 
substitute in its place some active mechanical em- 



42 

High notions. Too proud to labor. Consequences. 

ployment, together with suitable calisthenic or gym- 
nastic exercises. 

It is a great misfortune of the present day, that 
almost every one is, by his own estimate, raised 
above his real state of life. Nearly every person 
you meet with is aiming at a situation in which he 
shall be exempted from the drudgery of laboring 
with his hands. 

Now we cannot all become ' lords' and ' gentle- 
men? if we would. There must be a large part of 
us, after all, to make and mend clothes and houses, 
and carry on trade and commerce, and, in spite of 
all that we can do, the far greater part of us must 
actually work at something ; otherwise we fall under 
the sentence ; i He who will not work shall not eaV 
Yet, so strong is the propensity to be thought ' gen- 
tlemen ;' so general is this desire amongst the youth 
of this proud money making nation, that thousands 
upon thousands of them are, at this moment, in a 
state which may end in starvation; not so much 
because they are too lazy to earn their bread, as 
because they are too proud ! 

And what are the consequences ? A lazy youth 
becomes a burden to those parents, whom he 
ought to comfort, if not support. Always aspiring 
to something higher than he can reach, his life is 
a life of disappointment and shame. If marriage 
befall him, it is a real affliction, involving others as 
well as himself. His lot is a thousand times worse 
than that of the common laborer. Nineteen times 



ON ECONOMY. 43 



False economy. Examples of it. Franklin's maxim. 

out of twenty a premature death awaits him : and, 
alas ! how numerous are the cases in which that 
death is most miserable, not to say ignominious ! 

Section IV. On Economy. 

There is a false, as well as a true economy. I 
have seen an individual who, with a view to econo- 
my, was in the habit of splittiug his wafers. Some- 
times a thick wafer can be split into two, which 
will answer a veiy good purpose; but at others, 
both parts fall to pieces. Let the success be ever so 
complete, however, all who reflect for a moment on 
the value of time, must see it to be a losing process. 

I knew a laboring man who would hire a horse, 
and spend the greater part of a day, in going six or 
eight miles and purchasing half a dozen bushels of 
gram, at sixpence less a bushel than he must have 
given near home. Thus to gain fifty cents, he sub- 
jected himself to an expense, in time and money, of 
one hundred and fifty. These are very common 
examples of defective economy ; and of that ' with- 
holding' which the Scripture say3 ' tends to pov- 
erty.' 

Economy in time is economy of money — for it 
needs not Franklin to tell us that time is equivalent 
to money. Besides, I never knew a person who 
was economical of the one, who was not equally so 
of the other. Economy of time will, therefore, be 
an important branch of study. 



44 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

■- Y 

Take care of pence and minutes. Letter from a teacher. 

But the study is rather difficult. For though 
every young man of common sense knows that an 
hour is sixty minutes, very few seem to know that 
sixty minutes make an hour. On this account 
many waste fragments of time, — of one, two, three 
or five minutes each — without hesitation, and ap- 
parently without regret ; — never thinking that fifteen 
or twenty such fragments are equal to a full hour. 
; Take care of the pence, the pounds will take care 
of themselves,' is not more true, than that hours 
will take care of themselves, if you will only secure 
the minutes. * 

In order to form economical habits, several im- 

* A teacher, who has been pleased to say much in behalf 
of this work, and to do much to extend its circulation, in a 
late letter, very modestly, but properly makes the following 
inquiry; 'Has not Dr. Franklin's precept, time is money, 
made many misers'? Is it not used without sufficient quali- 
fication! ' 

There is no good thing, nor any good advice, but what 
may be abused, if used or taken without qualification. 
There may be misers in regard to time, as well as money; 
and no one can become miserly in the one respect without 
soon becoming so in the other. He who cannot or rather 
will not give any portion of his time to promote the happi- 
ness of those around him, in the various ways of doing good,, 
which perpetually offer, lest it should take from his means of 
earning property, is as much to be pitied as he who hoardsi 
all his dollars and cents. Still it is true that youth should 
husband well their time, and avoid wasting either that or 
their money. 



ON ECONOMY. 45 

A time for every thing. Anecdote. All have leisure. 

portant points must be secured. You must have 
for every purpose and thing a time, and place ; and 
every thing must be done at the time, and all things 
put in their place. 

1. Every thing must be done at the time. Whether 
you attempt little or much, let every hour have its 
employment, in business, study, social conversation, 
or diversion ; and unless it be on extraordinary oc- 
casions, you must not suffer your plan to be broken. 
It is in this way that many men who perform an 
incredible amount of business, have abundant leis- 
ure. And it is for want of doing business systemati- 
cally that many who effect but little, never find 
much leisure. They spend their lives in literally 

* doing nothing.' 

An eminent prime minister of Holland was asked 
how he could perform such a vast amount of busi- 
ness, as it was known he did, and yet have so much 
leisure. 'I do every thing at the time;' was the 
reply. 

* Some of you will say you have no room for any 
plan of your own ; that your whole time is at the 
will of your master, or employer. But this is not so. 
There are few persons who are so entirely devoted 
to others as not to have minutes, if not hours, every 
day, which they can call their own. Now here it 
is that character is tried and proved. He alone 
who is wise in small matters, will be wise in large 
ones. Whether your unoccupied moments amount 
in a day to half an hour, or an hour, or two hours. 



46 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Reading to the purpose. Anecdote. A place for things* 

have something to do in each of them. If it be 
social conversation, the moment your hour arrives, 
engage in it at once ; if study, engage at once in 
that. The very fact that you have but a very few 
minutes at your command, will create an interest in 
your employment during that time. 

Perhaps no persons read to better purpose than 
those who have but very little leisure. Some of 
the very best minds have been formed in this man- 
ner. To repeat their names would be to mention a 
host of self educated men, in this and in other coun- 
tries. To show what can be done, I will mention 
one fact which fell under my own observation. A 
young man, about fifteen years of age, unaccustom- 
ed to study, and with a mind wholly undisciplined, 
read Rollin's Ancient History through in about 
three months, or a fourth of a year ; and few per- 
sons were ever more closely confined to a laborious 
employment than he was during the whole time. 
Now to read four such works as Rollin in a year, 
is by no means a matter to be despised. 

2. Every thing should have its place. Going into 
a shop, the other day, where a large number of per- 
sons were employed, I observed the following 
motto, in large letters, pasted on the side of the 
room ; ' Put eveiy thing in its proper place.' I 
found the owner of the shop to be a man of order 
and economy. 

An old gentleman of my acquaintance, who al- 
ways had a place for every thing, made it a rule, if 



INDOLENCE. 47 



A severe rule. Slaves to indolence. Complainers. 

any thing was out of its place, and none of his chil- 
dren could find it, to blame the whole of them. 
This was an unreasonable measure, but produced 
its intended effect. His whole family follow his 
example; they have a place for every thing, and 
they put eveiy thing in its place. 

Unless both the foregoing rules are observed, true 
economy does not and cannot exist. But without 
economy, life is of little comparative value to our- 
selves or others. This trait of character is generally 
claimed, but more rarely possessed. 

Section V. Indolence. 

One of the greatest obstacles in the road to excel- 
lence, is indolence. I have known young men who 
would reason finely on the value of time, and the 
necessity of rising early and improving every mo*- 
ment of it. Yet I have also known these same 
aspiring young men to lie dozing, an hour or two 
in the morning, after the wants of nature had been 
reasonably, and more than reasonably gratified. 
You can no more rouse them, with all their fine 
arguments, than you can a log. There they lie, 
completely enchained by indolence. 

I have known otheis continually complain of the 
shortness of time ; that they had no time for busi- 
ness, no time for study, &c. Yet they would lavish 
hours in yawning at a public house, or hesitating 
wliether they had better go to the theatre or stay; or 



48 

Indecision in the young Some of its evils. 

whether they had better get up, or indulge in ' a 
little more slumber.' Such people wear the most 
galling chains, and as long as they continue to wear 
them there is no reasoning with them. 

An indolent person is scarcely human : he is half 
quadruped, and of the most stupid species too. He 
may have good intentions of discharging a duty, 
while that duty is at a distance ; but let it approach, 
let him view the time of action as near, and down 
go his hands in languor. He wills, perhaps ; but he 
un wills in the next breath. 

What is to be done with such a man, especially 
if he is a young one ? He is absolutely good for 
nothing. Business tires him ; reading fatigues him ; 
the public service interferes with his pleasures, or 
restrains his freedom. His life must be passed on 
a bed of down. If he is employed, moments are as 
hours to him — if he is amused, hours are as mo- 
ments. In general, his whole time eludes him, he 
lets it glide unheeded, like water under a bridge. 
Ask him what he has done with his morning, — he 
cannot tell you ; for he has lived without reflection, 
and almost without knowing whether he has lived 
at all. 

The indolent man sleeps as long as it is possible 
for him to sleep, dresses slowly, amuses himself in 
conversation with the first person that calls upon 
him, and loiters about till dinner. Or if he engages 
in any employment, however important, he leaves 
It the moment an opportunity of talking occurs. At 



EARLY RISING. 49 



Short history of the indolent. Late hours censured. 

length dinner is served up; and after lounging at 
the table a long time, the evening will probably be 
spent as unprofitably as the morning : and this it may 
be, is no unfair specimen of his whole life. And is 
not such a wretch, for it is improper to call him a 
man — good for nothing? What is he good for? 
How can any rational being be willing to spend the 
precious gift of life in a manner so worthless, and 
so much beneath the dignity of human nature? 
When he is about stepping into the grave, how can 
he review the past with any degree of satisfaction? 
What is his history, whether recorded here or there, 
— in golden letters, or on the plainest slab — but, 
'he was born' and ' he died ! ' 

Section VI. Early Rising and Rest 

Dr. Rush mentions a patient of his who thought 
himself wonderfully abstinent because he drank no 
spirituous or fermented liquors, except a bottle of 
wine or so, after dinner ! 

In like manner some call it early to retire at ten 
or eleven o'clock. Others think ten very late. Dr. 
Good, an English writer on medicine, in treating 
of the appropriate means of preventing the gout in 
those who are predisposed to it, after giving direc- 
tions in regard to diet, drink, exercise, &c, recom- 
mends an early hour of retiring to rest. 'By all 
means,' says he, l you should go to bed by eleven.' 

To half the population of New England such a 



50 

Late evening parties. Morning air. Uses of early rising. 

direction would seem strange ; but by the inhabitants 
of cities and large towns, who already begin to ape 
the customs and fashions of the old world, the 
caution is well understood. People who are in the 
habit of making and attending parties which com- 
mence at 9 or 10 o'clock in the evenings can hardly 
be expected to rise with the sun. 

We hear much said about the benefit of the 
morning air. Many wise men have supposed the 
common opinion on this subject to be erroneous; 
and that the mistake has arisen from the fact that 
being refreshed and invigorated by rest, the change 
is ivilhin instead of without ; that our physical frames 
and mental faculties are more healthy than they 
were the previous evening, rather than that the 
surrounding atmosphere has altered. 

Whether the morning air is more healthy or not, 
it is certainly healthy enough. Besides, there are 
so many reasons for early rising that if I can per- 
suade the reader to go to bed early, I shall have 
little fear of his lying late in the morning. 

1st. He who rises early and plans his work, and 
early sets himself about it, generally finds his busi- 
ness go well with him the whole day. He has 
taken time by the foretop ; and will be sure to go 
before, or drive his business; while his more tardy 
neighbor 4 suffers his business to drive him.' There 
is something striking in the feeling produced by 
beginning a day's work thus seasonably. It gives 
an impulse to a man's thoughts, speech, and actions, 



EARLY RISING. 51 



Sir Matthew Hale. Laborers in the field. Late rising. 

which usually lasts through the day. This is not a 
mere whim, but sober fact ; as can be attested by 
thousands. The person who rises late., usually 
pleads (for mankind are very ingenious in defence 
of what falls in with their own inclinations,) that he 
does as much in the progress of the day, as those 
who rise early. This may, in a few instances, be 
true ; but in general, facts show the reverse. The 
motions of the early riser will be more lively and 
vigorous all day. He may, indeed, become dull 
late in the evening, but he ought to be so. 

Sir Matthew Hale said that after spending a Sun- 
day well, the rest of the week was usually pros- 
perous. This is doubtless to be accounted for — 
in part at least — on the above principle. 

2. In the warm season, the morning is the most 
agreeable time for labor. Many farmers and me- 
chanics in the country perform a good half day's 
w r ork before the people of the city scarcely know 
that the sun shines.* 

3. To lie snoring late in the morning, assimilates 
us to the most beastly of animals. Burgh, an in- 
genious English writer, justly observes ; ' There is 
no time spent more stupidly than that which some 
luxurious people pass in a morning between sleep- 

* Dr. Franklin, in view of the latter fact, wrote a humorous 
Essay, at Paris, in which he labored hard to show the peo- 
ple of that luxurious and dissipated city, that the sun gives 
light as soon as it rises. 



52 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Second naps. Early risers long lived. Sleep before midnight 



ing and waking, after nature has been fully gratified. 
He who is awake may be doing something: he who 
is asleep, is receiving the refreshment necessary to 
fit him for action: but the hours spent in dozing 
and slumbering can hardly be called existence.' 

The late Dr. Smith, of Yale College, in his lectures, 
used to urge on his hearers never to take 'the second 
nap.'' He said that if this rule were steadily and 
universally followed by persons in health, — there 
would be no dozing or oversleeping. If, for once, 
they should awake from the first nap before nature 
was sufficiently restored, the uext night would re- 
store the proper balance. In laying this down as 
a rule, Dr. Smith would, of course, except those in- 
stances in which we are awakened by accident. 

4. It has been remarked by experienced physi- 
cians that they have seldom, if ever, known a person 
of great age, who was not an early riser. In enu- 
merating the causes of longevity, Rush and Sinclair 
both include early rising. 

5. It is a trite but just maxim that one hour's 
sleep before midnight is worth two afterward. 
Why it is so, would perhaps be difficult to say. 
The power of habit is great, and as the majority 
of children are trained to go to bed early, perhaps 
this will in part account for the fact. So when 
the usual hour for meal arrives, a given amount of 
food eaten at the time, is digested in a more healthy 
and regular manner than if eaten one, or two, or 
tlmje hours afterwards. Again, nature ccvuiujiy 



EARLY RISING. 53 



Economy of early rising. Estimates. Loss of health. 

intended man should exercise during the day, aud 
sleep in the night. I dc not say the whole night ; 
because in the winter and in high northern latitudes, 
this would be devoting an unreasonable portion of 
time to sleep. It would hardly do to sleep three or 
four months. But in all countries, and in all cli- 
mates, we should try to sleep half our hours before 
midnight. 

6.. The person who, instead of going to bed at 
nine, sits up till eleven, and then sleeps during two 
hours of daylight the following morning, is grossly 
negligent of economy. For, suppose he makes this 
his constant practice, during his whole business life, 
say fifty years. The extra oil or tallow which he 
would consume would not be estimated at less 
than one cent an evening; which, in fifty years 
would be $182.50. Not a very large sum to be 
sure ; but, to every young man, worth saving ; since, 
to a community of 1000 young men, the amount 
would be no less than $182,500. Then the loss in 
health and strength would be far greater, though it 
is obvious that it cannot so easily be computed. 

7. Once more. If an hour's sleep before mid- 
night is worth more than an hour in the morning, 
then an hour in the morning is of course worth 
less than an hour before midnight, and a person 
must sleep a greater number of hours in the morn- 
ing to obtain au equal amount of rest. A person 
retiring at eleven and rising at eight, would pro- 
bably get no more rest, possibly less, than a per- 



54 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



More estimates. Millions of years wasted annually. 

son who shouJd sleep from nine to five ; — a period 
one hour shorter. But if so, he actually loses an 
hour of t'me a day. And you well know, if 
Franklin had not told you so, that time is money. 

Now, if we estimate the value of this time at 
ten cents an hour for one person in four, of the 
population of the United States — and this is pro- 
bably a fair estimate — the loss to an individual in a 
year, or 313 working days, would be $31.30 ;*and 
in 50 years $ 1565. A sum sufficient to buy a good 
farm in many parts of the country. The loss to a 
population equal to that of the United States, would, 
in fifty years, be no less than five thousand and 
eighty-six millions of dollars! 

But this is not the whole loss. The time of 
the young and old is beyond all price for the pur- 
poses of mental and moral improvement. Espe- 
cially is this true of the precious golden hours of 
the morning. Think, then, of the immense waste 
in a year ! At twelve hours a day, more than a 
million of years of valuable time are wasted annu- 
ally in the United States. 

I have hitherto made my estimates on the sup- 
position that we do not sleep too much, in the ag- 
gregate, and that the only loss sustained arises 
from the manner of procuring it. But suppose, 
once more, we sleep an hour too much daily. 
This involves a waste just twice as great as that 
which we have already estimated. 

Do you startle at these estimates ! It is proper 



EARLV RISING. 55 



Examples of early rising. Brougham. Bonaparte. 

that many of you should. You have mispent 
time' enough. Awake your 'drowsy souls,' and 
shake off your stupid habits. Think of Napoleon 
breaking up the boundaries of kingdoms, and de- 
throning kings, and to accomplish these results, go- 
ing through with an amount of mental and bodily 
labor that few constitutions would be equal to, 
with only four hours of sleep in the twenty -four. 
Think of Brougham too, who works as many hours, 
perhaps, as any man in England, and has as much 
influence, and yet sleeps as few ; i. e., only four. 
A hundred persons might be named, and the list 
would include some of the greatest benefactors of 
their race, who never think of sleeping more than 
six hours a day. And yet many of you are scarce- 
ly contented with eight ! 

Would you conquer as Bonaparte did — not 
states, provinces, and empires, — -but would you 
aspire to the high honor of conquering yourselves, 
and of extending your conquests intellectually and 
morally, you must take the necessary steps. The 
path is a plain one ; requiring nothing but a little 
moral courage. 'What man has done, man may 
do.' I know you do not and ought not to aspire to 
conquer kingdoms, or to become prime ministers ; 
but you ought to aspire to get the victory over your- 
selves : — a victory as much more noble than those 
of Napoleon, and Caesar, and Alexander, as intel- 
lectual and moral influence are superior to mere 
brute force. 



56 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Obedience tends to longevity. A youthful error. 



Section VII. On Duty to Parents. 

It was the opinion of a very eminent and ob- 
serving man, that those who- are obedient to pa- 
rents, are more healthy, long lived, and happy than 
those who are disobedient. And he reasons very 
fairly on the subject. 

Now I do not know whether the promise an- 
nexed to the fifth command, (whatever might have 
Leen intended, as addressed to the Jews,) has any 
special reference to happiness in this life. I only 
know that in general, those who are obedient to 
parents are apt to be virtuous in other respects ; for 
the virtues as well as the vices usually go in com- 
panies. But that virtue in general tends to long 
life and happiness, nobody will entertain a doubt. 

I am sorry, however, to find that the young, 
when they approach adult years, are apt. to regard 
authority as irksome. It should not be so. So 
long as they remain under the parental roof, they 
ought to feel it a pleasure to conform to the wishes of 
the parents in all the arraignments of the family, if 
not absolutely unreasonable. And even in the latter 
case, it is my own opinion — and one which has not 
been hastily formed, either — that it would be better 
to submit, with cheerfulness ; and for three reasons 

1st. For the sake of your own reputation ; which 
will always be endangered by disobedience, how- 
ever unjust the parental claim may be. 



DUTY TO PARENTS. 57 

Reasons for obedience. God's will. Leaving home hastily. 

2d. From a love of your parents, and a sense of 
what you owe them for their kind care ; together 
with a conviction that perfect rectitude is not to 
be expected. You will find error, more or 
less, everywhere around you — even in your- 
selves ; why should you expect perfection in your 
parents ? 

3d. Because it is better to suffer wrong than to 
do wrong. Perhaps there is nothing which so im- 
proves human character, as suffering wrongfully; 
although the world may be slow to admit the prin- 
ciple. More than this ; God himself has said a 
great deal about obedience to parents. 

If real evils multiply so that a young man finds 
he cannot remain in his father's house, without 
suffering not only in his feelings, but permanently 
in his temper and disposition, I will not say that 
it is never best to leave it. I do not believe, how- 
ever, there is often any such necessity. Of those 
who leave their paternal home on this plea, I be- 
lieve nine hundred and ninety-nine in a thou- 
sand might profitably remain, if they would ; and 
that a very large number would find the fault 
in themselves — in their own temper, disposition or 
mistaken views — rather than in their parents. 

And what is to be gained by going away ? Un- 
fortunately this is a question too seldom asked by 
restless, or headstrong youths ; and when asked and 
answered, it is usually found that their unhappy 
experience proves the answer to have been incor- 



58 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Case of Franklin. Attractive sight. A just maxim 

rect. I have seldom known a youth turn out well 
who left his parents or his guardian or master. 
On this subject, Franklin, I know, is often trium- 
phantly referred to ; but for one such instance as 
that, I hazard nothing in saying there are hun- 
dreds of a contrary character. Within the circle 
of my own observation, young men who leave in 
this manner, have wished themselves back again a 
thousand times. 

But be this as it may, so long as you remain in 
the family, if you are 70 years of age, by all means 
yield to authority implicitly, and impossible, cheer- 
fully. Avoid, at least, altercation and reproaches. 
If things do not go well, fix your eye upon some 
great example of suffering wrongfully, and endea- 
vor to profit by it. 

There is no sight more attractive than that of 
a well ordered family ; one in which every child, 
whether five years old or fifty, submits cheerful- 
ly to those rules and regulations which parental 
authority has thought fit to impose. It is, to use a 
strong expression, an image of heaven. But, ex- 
actly in the same proportion, a family of the con- 
trary character resembles the regions below. 

Nor is this all. It is an ancient maxim, — and 
however despised by some of the moderns, none 
can be more true, — that he only is fit to com- 
mand who has first learned to obey. Obedience, 
is, in fart, die great lesson of human life. We first 
learn to yield our will to the dictates of parental 



FAITHFULNESS. 59 



Lessons of obedience. Study them early. Faithfulness. 

love and wisdom. Through them we learn to 
yield submissively to the great laws of the Creator, 
as established in the material world. We learn to 
avoid, if possible, the flame, the hail, the severity ot 
the cold, the lightning, the tornado, and the earth- 
quake ; and we do not choose to fall from a preci- 
pice, to have a heavy body fall on us, to receive 
vitriol or arsenic into our stomachs, (at least in 
health) or to remain a very long time, immersed 
in water, or buried in the earth. We submit also 
to the government under which we live. Ail 
these are lessons of obedience. But the Christian 
goes farther ; and it is his purpose to obey not only 
all these laws, but any additional ones he may find 
imposed, whether they pertain to material or imma- 
terial existences. 

In short, he who would put himself in the most 
easy position, in the sphere allotted him by the 
Author of Nature, must learn to obey, — often im- 
plicitly and unconditionally. At least he must 
know how to obey: and the earlier this know- 
ledge is acquired, and corresponding habits estab- 
lished, the better and happier will he find his con- 
dition, and the more quiet his conscience. 

Section VIII. Faithfulness. 

Hardly any thing pleases me more in a young 
man, than faithfulness to those for whom he is 
employed, whether parents, guardians, masters, or 
others. 



60 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Duty to employers. A common error. Wretched apology. 

There appears to be a strange misapprehension, 
in the minds of many, in regard to this point. There 
are few who will not admit, in theory, whatever 
may be their practice, that they ought to be faithful 
to their parents. And by far the majority of the 
young doubtless perceive the propriety of being 
faithful to their masters ; so long at least, as they are 
present. I will even go farther and admit that the 
number of young men — sons, wards, apprentices, 
and servants — who would willingly be so far un- 
faithful as to do any thing positively wrong because 
those who are set over them happen to be absent, 
is by no means considerable. 

But by faiihfulness to our employers, I mean 
something more than the mere doing of things 
because we are obliged to do them, or because we 
must. I wish to see young men feci an interest in 
the well b< mg and success of their employers ; and 
take as good care of 'heir concerns and property, 
whether they are present or absent, as if they were 
their own. The youth who would be more indus- 
trious, persevering, prudent, economical, and atten- 
tive in business, if the profits were his own, than he 
now is, does not in my opinion come up to the 
mark at which he should aim. 

The great apology for what I call unfaithfulness 
to employers, is, 'What shall I get by it?' that is, 
by being faithful. I have seen many a young man 
who would labor at the employment regularly 
assigned him, during a certain number of hours, or 



FAITHFULNESS. 61 



Examples of fidelity. Anecdote. The Mahratta Prince. 

till a certain job was completed, after which he 
seemed unwilling to lift a finger, except for his own 
amusement, gratification, or emolument. A few 
minutes' labor might repair a breach in a wall or 
corn crib, and save the owner many dollars' worth 
of property, but it is passed by! By putting a few 
deranged parcels of goods in their proper place, or 
writing down some small item of account, which 
would save his employer much loss of time or 
money, or both, a faithful clerk might often do a great 
service. Would he not do it, if the loss was to be 
his own ? Why not then do it for his employer? 

Those who neglect things, or perform them lazily 
or carelessly, because they imagine they shall get 
nothing for it, would do well to read the following 
story of a devoted and faithful domestic ; which i 
suppose to be a fact. It needs no comment. 

A Mahratta Prince, in passing through a certain 
apartment, one day, discovered one of his servants 
asleep with his master's slippers clasped so tightly 
to his breast, that he was unable to disengage them. 
Struck with the fact, and concluding at once, that 
a person who was so jealously careful of a trifle, 
could not fail to be faithful when entrusted with a 
thing of more importance, he appointed him a 
member of his body-guards. The result proved 
that the prince was not mistaken. Rising in office, 
Btep by step, the young man soon became the most 
distinguished military commander in Mahratta ; and 
his fame ultimately spread through all India. 
6 



62 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Intemperance. Excess in eating and drinking. Its criminality. 

Section IX. On Forming Temperate Habits. 

i Be temperate in all things,' is an excellent rule, 
and of very high authority. 

Drunkenness and Gluttony are vices so degrading, 
that adv'ce is, I must confess, nearly lost on those 
who are capable of indulging in them. If any youth, 
unhappily initiated in these odious and debasing 
vices, should happen to see what I am now writing, 
I beg him to read the command of God, to the 
Israelites, Deut. xxi. The father and mother are to 
take the bad son 'and bring him to the elders of the 
city ; and they shall say to the elders, this our son 
will not obey our voice: he is a glutton and a 
drunkard. And all the men of the city shall stone 
him with stones, that he die.' This will give him 
some idea of the odiousness of his crime, at least in 
the sight of Heaven. 

But indulgence far short of gross drunkenness 
and gluttony is to be deprecated ; and the more so, 
because it is too often looked upon as being no 
crime at all. Nay, there are many persons, who 
boast of a refined taste in matters connected with 
eating and drinking, who are so far from being 
ashamed of employing their thoughts on the sub- 
ject, that it is their boast that they do it. 

Gregory, one of the Christian fathers, says : * It 
is not the quantity or the quality of the meat, or 
drink, but the love of it, that is condemned: ' that is 



TEMPERANCE* 63 

Excessive indulgence. Its injury to health. Its expense 

to say, the indulgence beyond the absolute de- 
mands of nature ; the hankering after it; the neglect 
of some duty or other for the sake of the enjoyments 
of the table. I believe, however, there may be 
error, both in quantity and quality. 

This love of what are called 'good eating and 
drinking,' if very unamiable in grown persons, 
is perfectly hateful in a youth; and, if he indulge 
in the propensity, he is already half ruined. To 
warn you against acts of fraud, robbery, and vio- 
lence, is not here my design. Neither am I speak- 
ing against acts which the jailor and the hangman 
punish, nor against those moral offences which all 
men condemn, but against indulgences, which, by 
men hi general, are deemed not only harmless, but 
meritorious ; but which observation has taught me 
to regard as destructive to human happiness ; and 
against which all ought to T)e cautioned, even in 
their boyish days. 

Such indulgences are, in the first place, very 
expensive. The materials are costly, and the pre- 
paration still more so. What a monstrous thing r 
that, in order to satisfy the appetite of one person, 
there must be one or two others at work constantly.* 
More fuel, culinary implements, kitchen room: 

* I have occasionally seen four or five persons in constant 
employ, solely to supply the wants of a family of the same 
number, whose health, collectively) required an amount of 
physical* labor adequate to their own wants. 



64 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

An anecdote. Reflections. Water drinkers. 

what! all these merely to tickle the palate of four 
or five people, and especially people who can hardly 
pay their bills ! And, then, the loss of time — the 
time spent in pleasing the palate ! 

"A young man," says an English writer, " some 
years ago, offered himself to me, as an amanuensis, 
for which he appeared to be perfectly qualified. 
The terms were settled, and I requested him to sit 
down, and begin ; but looking out of the window, 
whence he could see the church clock, he said, 
somewhat hastily, ' I cannot stop now sir, I must go 
to dinner.' 'Oh!' said I, 'you must go to dinner, 
must you ! Let the dinner, which you must wait 
upon to-day, have your constant services, then ; for 
you and I shall never agree.' 

"He had told me that he was in great distress for 
want of employment; and yet, when relief was 
there before his eyes, he could forego it for the sake 
of getting at his eating and drinking three or four 
hours sooner than was necessary." 

This anecdote is good, so far as it shows the 
folly of an unwillingness to deny ourselves in small 
matters, in any circumstances. And yet punctual- 
ity, even at meals, is not to be despised. 

Water-drinkers are universally laughed at: but, it 
has always seemed to me, that they are amongst the 
most welcome of guests, and that, too, though the 
host be by no means of a niggardly turn. The 
truth is, they give no trouble; they occasion np anx- 
iety to please them ; they are sure not to make their 



TEMPERANCE. G5 



Health, the first thing. Extract from Ecclesiasticus. 

sittings inconveniently long; and, above all, their ex- 
ample teaches moderation to the rest of the company. 

Your notorious 'lovers of good cheer' are, on 
the contrary, not to be invited without due reflection. 
To entertain one of them is a serious business ; and 
as people are not apt voluntarily to undertake such 
pieces of business, the well-known Movers of good 
eating and drinking' are left, very generally, to en- 
joy it by themselves, and at their own expense. 

But, all other considerations aside, f.ea 7 th one of 
the most valuable of earthly possessions, and without 
which all the rest are worth nothing, bids us not 
only to refrain from excess in eating and drinking, 
but to stop short of what might be indulged in with- 
out any apparent impropriety. 

The words of Ecclesiasticus ought to be often 
read by young people. ' Eat modestly that which is 
set before thee, and devour not, lest thou be hated. 
When thou sittest amongst many, reach not thine 
hand out first of all. How little is sufficient for a 
man well taught ! A wholesome sleep cometh of a 
temperate belly. Such a man riseth up in the morn- 
ing, and is well at ease with himself. Be not too 
hasty of meats; for excess of meats bringeth sick- 
ness, and choleric disease cometh of gluttony. By 
surfeit have many perished, and he that dieteth him- 
self prolongelh his life. Show not thy valiantness 
in wine ; for wine hath destroyed many.' 

How true are these words! How well worthy 
of a constant place in our memories ! Yet, what 



66 THE YOUNG MAN^S GUIDE, 

Certain songs condemned. Disregard of dainties. An example* 

pains have been taken to apologize for a life con- 
trary to these precepts! And, what punishment can 
be too great, what mark of infamy sufficiently 
signal, for those pernicious villains of talent, who 
have employed that talent in the composition of 
Bacchanalian songs ; that is to say, pieces of fine 
and captivating writing in praise of one of the most 
odious and destructive vices in the black catalogue 
of human depravity! 

'Who,' says the eccentric, but laborious Cobbett, 
' what man, ever performed a greater quantity of 
labor than I have performed? Now, in a great 
measure, I owe my capability to perform this labor 
to my disregard of dainties. I ate, during one 
whole year, one mutton chop every day. Being 
once in town, with one son (then a little boy) and 
a clerk, while my family was in the country, I had, 
for several weeks, nothing but legs of mutton. The 
first day, a leg of mutton boiled or roasted', second, 
cold ; third, hashed', then, leg of mutton boiled ; and 
so on. 

'When I have been by myself, or nearly so, I 
have always proceeded thus: given directions for 
having every day the same thing, or alternately as 
above, and ev^ry day exactly at the same hour, so 
as to pervent the necessity of any talk about the 
matter. I am certain that, upon an average, I have 
not, during my life, spent more than thirty -Jive min- 
utes a day at table, including all the meals of 
the day I like, and I take care to have, good and 



TEMPERANCE. 67 



Rapid eating disapproved of. Its evils. Intentions of nature. 

clean victuals ; but, if wholesome and clean, that is 
enough. If I find it, by chance, loo coarse for my 
appetite, I put the food aside, or let somebody do 
it ; and leave the appetite to gather keenness.' 

Now I have no special desire to recommend mut- 
ton chops to my readers, nor to hold out the exam- 
ple of the individual whose language I have quoted, 
as worthy of general imitation. There is one les- 
son to be learned, however. Cobbett's never tiring 
industry is well known.' And if we can rely on his 
•own statements in regard to his manner of mating, 
we see another proof that what are called * dainties,' 
and even many things which are often supposed to 
be necessaries, are very far from being indispensa- 
ble to health or happiness. 

I am even utterly opposed to the rapid eating of 
which he speaks. In New England especially, the 
danger is on the other side. * Were it not from 
respect to others, I never would wish for more than 
eight minutes to eat my dinner in,' said a merchant 
to me one day. Now / can swallow a meal at any 
time, in Jive minutes ; but this is not eating. If it 
is, the teeth were made — as well as the saliva — 
almost in vain. No ! this swallowing down a meal 
in five or even ten minutes, so common among the 
active, enterprising, and industrious people of this 
country, is neither healthy, nor decent, nor econom- 
ical. And instead of spending only thirty-Jive min- 
utes a day in eating ; every man, woman, and child 



68 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Mistake corrected. All food must be well masticated. 

ought, as a matter of duty, to spend about twice the 
time in that way. This would give the teeth and 
salivary glands an opportunity to come up to the 
work which God in nature assigned them. We 
may indeed cheat them for a time, but not with im- 
punity, for a day of reckoning will come ; and some 
of our rapid eaters will find their bill (in stomach or 
liver complaints, or gout or rheumatism) rather 
large. They will probably lose more time in this 
way, than they can possibly save by eating rapidly. 

The idea of preventing conversation about what 
we eat is also idle, though Dr. Franklin and many 
other wise men, thought otherwise. Some of our 
students in commons and elsewhere, suppose them- 
selves highly meritorious because they have adopt- 
ed the plan of appointing one of their number to 
read to the company, while the rest are eating. 
But they are sadly mistaken. Nothing is gained 
by the practice. On the contrary, much is lost by 
it. The bow cannot always remain bent, without 
injury. Neither can the mind always be kept 
' toned ' to a high pitch. Mind and body must and 
will have their relaxations. 

I am not an advocate for wasting time or for eat- 
ing more than is necessary. Nay, I even believe, 
on the contrary, with most medical men, that we 
generally eat about twice as much as nature re- 
quires. But I do say, and with emphasis, that food 
must be masticated. 

Before I dismiss the subject of temperance, let 



TEMPERANCE. 69 

iTea and coffee injurious. Other drinks. Water the best. 

me beseech you to resolve to free yourselves from 
slavery to tea and coffee. Experience has taught 
me, that they are injurious to health. Even my 
habits of sobriety, moderate eating, and early rising, 
were not, until T left off using them, sufficient to 
give me that complete health which I have since had. 

I do not undertake to prescribe for others exactly ; 
but, I do say, that to pour down regularly, every 
day, a quart or two of warm liquid, whether under 
the name of tea, coffee, soup, grog, or any thing else, 
is greatly injurious to health. However, at present, 
what I have to represent to you, is the great deduc- 
tion which they make, from your power of being 
useful, and also from your power to husband your 
income, whatever it may be, and from whatever 
source arising. These things cost something ; and 
wo to him who forgets, or never knows, till he pays 
it, how large a bill they make — in the course of 
a year. 

How much to be desired is it, that mankind 
would return once more, to the use of no other 
drink than that pure beverage which nature pre- 
pared for the sole drink of man ! So long as we 
are in health, we need no other; nay, we have no 
right to any other. It is the testimony of all, or 
almost all whose testimony is worth having, that 
water is the best known drink. But if water is 
better than all others, all others are, of course, worse 
than water. 

As to food and drink generally, let me say in 



70 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Water the only drink. Influence of habit. Suppers. 

conclusion, that simplicity is the grand point to aim 
at. Water, we have seen, is the sole drink of man ; 
but there is a great variety of food provided for his 
sustenance. He is allowed to select from this im- 
mense variety, those kinds, which the experience 
of mankind generally, combined and compared with 
his own, show to be most useful. He can live on 
almost an}^ thing. Still there is a choice to be ob- 
served, and so far as his circumstances permit, he 
is in duty bound to exercise that choice. God has 
said by his servant Paul ; ' Whether ye eat or drink, 
or whatsoever ye do,' &c. 

What we believe to be most useful to us, though 
at first disagreeable, we may soon learn to prefer. 
Our habits, then, should be early formed. We 
should always remember these two rules, however 
1st. The fewer different articles of food used at any 
one meal, the better; however excellent in their 
nature those may be which are left untasted. 2. 
Never eat a moment longer than the food, if well 
masticated, actually revives and' refreshes you. The 
moment it makes you feel heavy or dull, or palls 
upon the taste, you have passed the line of safety. 

Section X. On Suppers. 

Suppers, properly so called, are confined, in a 
considerable degree, to cities ; and I was at first in 
doubt whether I should do r.s much good by giving 
my voice against them, as I should of mischief by 



ON SUPPERS. 71 



Late meals. Customs of our ancestors. Of the Jews. 

spreading through the country the knowledge of 
a wretched practice. But farther reflection has 
convinced me that I ought to offer my sentiments 
on this subject. 

By suppers, I mean a fourth meal, just before 
going to bed. Individuals who have eaten quite 
as many times during the day as nature requires, 
and who take then* tea, and perhaps a little bread 
and butter, at six, must go at nine or ten, they think, 
and eat another hearty meal. Some make it the 
most luxurious repast of the day. 

Now many of our plain country people do not 
know that such a practice exists. They often eat 
too much, it is true, at their third meal, but their 
active habits and pure air enable them to digest it 
better than their city brethren could. Besides, their 
third meal never comes so late, by several hours,, 
as the suppers of cities and towns. 

Our English ancestors, 200 years ago, on both 
sides of the Atlantic, dined at eleven, took tea early, 
and had no suppers. So it was with the Jews of 
old, one of the healthiest nations that ever lived be- 
yond the Mediterranean. They knew nothing of 
our modern dinners at three or four, and suppers 
at nine, ten, or eleven. 

But not to < take something late at night with 
the rest,' would at present be regarded as ' vulgar,' 
and who could endure it ? Here, 1 confess, I 
tremble for some of my readers, whose lot it is 
to be cast in the city, lest they should, in this 



1% THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



The stomach needs its season of repose. An anecdote. 

single instance, hesitate to ' take advice.' But I will 
hope for better things. 

If you would give your stomach a season of re- 
pose, as well as the rest of your system ; if you 
would sleep soundly, and either dream not at all, 
or have your dreams pleasant ones ; if you would 
rise in the morning with your head clear, and free 
from pain, and your mouth clean and sweet, in- 
stead of beinff parched, and foul ; if you would 
unite your voice — in spirit at least — with the 
voices of praise to the Creator, which ascend every 
where unless it be from the dwellings of creatures 
that should be men, — i£ in one word, you would 
lengthen your lives several years, and increase the 
enjoyment of the last thirty years 33 per cent, with- 
out diminishing that of the first forty, then I beg of 
you to abstain from sappers ! 

I a**] acquainted with one individual, who partly 
from a conviction of the injury to himself, and 
partly from a general detestation of the practice, 
not only abstains from every thing of the kind, 
but from long observation of its effects, goes to the 
other extreme, and seldom takes even a third meal. 
And I know of no evil which arises from it. On 
the contrary, I believe that, for him, no course 
could be better. Be that as it may, adult indi- 
viduals should never eat more than three times a 
day, nor should they ever partake of any food, 
solid or liquid, within three or four hours of the 
period of retiring to rest. 



ON DRESS. 73 



A wretched practice censured. The purposes of dress. 

But if eating ordinary suppers is pernicious, 
what shall we say of the practice which some in- 
dulge w r ho aspire to be pillars in church or state, 
with others of pretensions less lofty, of going to cer- 
tain eating houses, at a very late hour, and spending 
a considerable portion of the night — not in eat- 
ing, merely, but in quaffing poisonous draughts, and 
spreading noxious fumes, and uttering language and 
songs which better become the inmates of Pandemo- 
nium, than those of the counting-house, the college, 
or the chapel ! If there be within the limits of any 
of our cities or towns, scenes which answer to this 
horrid picture, let ' it not be told in Gath, or pub- 
lished in the streets of Askelon,' lest the fiends of 
the pit should rejoice; — lest the demons of dark- 
ness should triumph. 

Section XI. On Dress. 

The object of dress is fourfold : 1st. It is de- 
signed as a covering ; 2d. As a means of warmth ; 
3d. As a defence ; 4th. To improve our appearance. 

These purposes of dress should all be consider- 
ed ; and in the order here presented. That dress, 
which best answers all these purposes combined, 
both as respects the material and the form or fash- 
ion, is unquestionably the best and most appro- 
priate. It is certainly true that the impressions 
which a person's first appearance makes upon the 
minds of those around him are deep and permanent, 
7 



74 THE YOUNG Man's GUIDE. 

Fashion. Cleanliness. Mistake of vanity corrected. 

and the subject should receive a measure of our at- 
tention, on this account. It is only a slight tax which 
we pay for the benefits of living in civilized society. 
When, however, we sacrifice every thing else to 
appearance, we commit a very great error. We 
make that first in point of importance, which ought 
to be fourth. 

Let your dress be as cheap as may be without 
shabbiness, and endeavor to be neither first nor 
last in a fashion. Think more about the cleanli- 
ness, than the gloss or texture of your clothes. Be 
always as clean as your occupation will permit ; but 
never for one moment believe that any human 
being, who has good sense, will love or respect you 
merely on account of a fine or costly coat. 

Extravagance in the haunting of play-houses, 
in horsrs, in every thing else, is to be avoided, but 
in young men, extravagance in dress particularly. 
This sort of extravagance, this waste of money on 
the decoration of the body, arises solely from vanity, 
and from vanity of the most contemptible sort. 
It arises from the notion, that all the people in the 
street, for instance, will be looking at you, as soon 
as you walk out; and that they will, in a greater or 
less degree, think the better of you on account of 
your fine dress. 

Never was a notion more false. Many sensible 
peop.e, that happen to see you, will think nothing 
at all about you : those who are filled with the same 
vain notion as you are, will oerceive your attempt 



ON DRESS. 75 



General rule for dress. Females not deceived by it. 

to impose on them, and despise it. Rich people 
will wholly disregard you, and you will be envied 
and hated by those who have the same vanity that 
you have, without the means of gratifying it. 

Dress should be suited, in some measure, to our 
condition. A surgeon or physician need not dress 
exactly like a carpenter; but, there is no reason 
why any body should dress in a very expensive 
manner. It Ls a great mistake to suppose, that they 
derive any advantage from exterior decoration. 

For after all, men are estimated by other men 
according to their capacity and willingness to be in 
some way or other useful; and, though, with the 
foolish and vain part of women, fine clothes fre- 
quently do something, yet the greater part of the 
sex are much too penetrating to draw their conclu- 
sions solely from the outside appearance. They 
look deeper, and find other criterions whereby to 
judge. Even if fine clothes should obtain you a 
wife, will they bring you, in that wife, frugality, 
good sense, and that kind of attachment which is 
likely to be lasting? 

Natural beauty of person is quite another thing: 
this always has, it always will and must have, some 
weight even with men, and great weight with 
women. But, this does not need to be set off by 
expensive clothes. Female eyes are, in such cases, 
discerning; they can discover beauty though sur^ 
rounded by rags: and, take this as a secret worth 
half a fortune to you, that women, however vain 
they may be themselves, despise vanity in men. 



7G THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Extremes. The golden mean. Error corrected. 



Section XII. Bashfulness and Modesty. 

Dr. Young says, 'The man that blushes is not 
quite a brute.' This is undoubtedly true; yet 
nothing is more clear, as Addison has shown us, 
than that a person may be both bashful and impu- 
dent. 

I know the world commend the former quality, 
and condemn the latter; but I deem them both 
evils. Perhaps the latter is the greater of the two. 
The proper medium is true modesty. This is 
always commendable. 

We are compelled to take the world, in a great 
measure, as it is. We can hardly expect men to 
come and buy our wares, unless we advertise or 
expose them for sale. So if we would commend 
ourselves to the notice of our fellow men, we must 
set ourselves Up, — not for something which we 
are not ; — but for what, upon a careful examination, 
we find reason to think we are. Many a good and 
valuable man has gone" through this life, without 
being properly estimated; from the vain belief 
that true merit could not always escape unnoticed. 
This belief, after all, is J|ttle else but a species of 
fatalism. 

By setting ourselves up, 1 do not mean puffing 
and pretending, or putting on airs of haughtiness 
or arrogance ; or any affectation whatever. But 
there are those — and some of them are persons 



BASHFULNESS AND MODESTY. 77 

Injurious effects of bash fulness. The happy mean. 



of good sense, in many respects, who can scarcely 
answer properly, when addressed, or look the per- 
son with whom they are conversing in the face; 
and who often render themselves rediculous for 
fear they shall be so. I have seen a man of respect- 
able talents, who, in conversation never raised his 
eyes higher than the tassels of his friend's boots; 
and another who could never converse without 
turning half or three quarters round, so as to pre- 
sent his shoulder or the backside of his head, instead 
of a plain, honest face.' 

1 have known young men injured by bash- 
fulness. It is vain to say that it should not be so. 
The world is not what it should be, in many re- 
spects ; and I must insist that it is our duty, to take 
it as it is, in order to make it better, or even in order 
to live in it with comfort. He that thinks he shall 
not, most surely will not, please. A man of sense, 
and knowledge of the world, will assert his own 
rights, and pursue his own purposes as steadily 
and uninterruptedly as the most impudent man 
living; but then there is at the same time an air of 
modesty in all he does; while an overbearing or 
impudent maimer of doing the same things, would 
undoubtedly have given offence. Hence a certain 
wise man has said; 'He who knows the world wil 1 
not be too bashful ; and he who knows himself will 
never be impudent.' 

Perpetual embarrassment in company or in con- 
versation, is sometimes even construed into mean- 



78 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Awkwardness. Eccentricities. Little things. Gocd-breeding. 

ness. Avoid, — if you can do it, without too great 
a sacrifice — every appearance of deserving a charge 
so weighty. 

Section XIII. Politeness and Good- Breeding. 

Awkwardness is scarcely more tolerable than 
bashfulness. It must proceed from one of two 
things ; either from not having kept good company, 
or from not having derived any benefit from it. 
Many very worthy people have certain odd tricks, 
and ill habits, that excite a prejudice against them, 
which it is not easy to overcome. Hence the im- 
portance of good-breeding. 

Now there are not a few who despise all these 
little things of life, as they call them ; and yet much 
of their lives is taken up with them, small as they 
are. And since these self same little things cannot 
be dispensed with, is it not better that they should 
be done in the easiest, and at the same time the 
pleasantest manner possible ? 

There is no habit more difficult to attain, and few 
so necessary to possess, as perfect good-breeding. 
It is equally inconsistent with a stiff formality, an 
impertinent forwardness, and an awkward bashful- 
ness. True Christian education would seem to 
include it; and yet unfortunately, Christians are 
not always polite. 

Is it not surprising that we may sometimes ob- 
serve, in mere men of the world, that kind of car- 



GOOD-BREEDING, 70 

Christian politeness. Calling things by wrong names. Pedantry. 

riage which should naturally be expected from an 
individual thoroughly imbued with the spirit of 
Christianity, while his very neighbors, who are pro- 
fessing Christians, appear, by their conduct, to be 
destitute of such a spirit ? Which, then, in practice 
(I mean so far as this fact is concerned) are the best 
Christians ? But i know what will be the answer ; 
and I know that these things ought not so to be. 

No good reason can be given why a Christian 
should not be as well-bred as his neighbor. It is 
difficult to conceive 'how a person can follow T the 
rules given in the Sermon on the Mount, without 
being, and showing himself to be, well-bred. I 
have even known men who were no friends to the 
bible, to declare it as their unequivocal belief that 
he w r hose life should conform to the principles of 
that sermon, could not avoid being truly polite. 

There are not a few who confound good-breeding 
with affectation, just as they confound a reasonable 
attention to dress with foppery. This calling things 
by wrong names is very common, how much soever 
it may be lamented. 

Good-breeding, or true politeness, is the art of 
showing men, by external signs, the internal regard 
we have for them. It arises from good sense, im- 
proved by good company. Good -breeding is never 
to be learned, though it may be improved, by the 
study of books ; and therefore they who attempt it, 
appear stiff and pedantic. The really well-bred, as 
they become so by use and observation, are not 



80 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Kin.! feelings. Good breeding opposed to selfishness. 

liable to affectation. You see good -breeding in all 
they do, without seeing the art of it. Like other 
habits, it is acquired by practice. 

An engaging manner and genteel address may be 
out of our power, although it is a misfortune that it 
should be so. But it is in the power of every body 
to be kind, condescending, and affable. It is in the 
power of every person who has any thing to sav to 
a fellow being, to say it with kind feelings, and with 
a sincere desire to please ; and this, whenever it is 
done, will atone for much awkwardness in the man- 
ner of expression. Forced complaisance is foppery y 
and affected easiness is ridiculous. 

Good- breeding is, and ought to be, an amiable 
and persuasive thing; it beautifies the actions and 
even the looks of men. But the grimace of good- 
breeding is not less odious 

In short, good-breeding is a forgetting of ourselves 
so far as to seek what may be agreeable to others, 
but in so artless and delicate a manner as will scarce- 
ly allow them to perceive that we are so employed ; 
and the regarding of ourselves, not as the centre of 
motion on which every thing else is to revolve, but 
only as one of the wheels or parts, in a vast machine, 
embracing other wheels and parts of equal, and per- 
haps more than equal importance. It is hence utter- 
ly opposed to selfishness, vanity, or pride. Nor is it 
proportioned to the supposed riches and rank of 
him whose favor and patronage you would gladly 
cultivate ; but extends to all. It knows how to cou- 



GOOD-BREEDING. 81 



Ten rules fir governing our conversation. 



tradict with respect; and to please, without adu- 
lation. 

The following are a few plain directions for at- 
taining the character of a well-bred man. 

1. Never weary your company by talking too 
long, or too frequently. 

2. Always look people in the face when you 
address them, and generally when they are speak- 
ing to you. 

3. Attend to a person who is addressing you. 
Inattention marks a trifling mind, and is a most un- 
pardonable piece of rudeness. It is even an affront; 
for it is the same thing as saying that his remarks 
are not ipoHh your attention. 

4. Do nor interrupt the person who is speaking 
by saying yes* or. no, or //em, at every sentence; it 
is the most useless thing that can be. An occa- 
sional assent, either by word or action, may be well 
enough ; but even a nod of assent is sometimes 
repeated till it becomes disgusting. 

5. Remember that every person in a company 
likes to be the hero of that company. Never, there- 
fore, engross the whole conversation to yourself. 

(>. Learn to sit or stand still, while another is 
speaking to you. You will not of course be so 
rude as to dig in the earth with your feet, or take 
your penknife from your pocket and pair your nails; 
but there are a great many other little movements 
which are scarcely less clownish. 

7. Never anticipate for another, or help him out^ 



82 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Forming good habits. Planning the business of the day, 

as it is called. This is quite a rude affair, and 
should ever be avoided. Let him conclude his 
story for himself. It is time enough for you to 
make corrections or additions afterward, if you 
deem his account defective. It is also a piece of 
impoliteness to interrupt another in his remarks. 

8. Say as little of yourself and your friends as 
possible. 

9. Make it a rule never to accuse, without due 
consideration, any body or association of men. 

10. Never try to appear more wise or learned 
than the rest of the company. Not that you should 
affect ignorance ; but endeavor to remain within 
your own proper sphere. 

Section XIV. Personal Habits. 

I have elsewhere spoken of the importance of 
early rising. Let me merely request you, in this 
place, to form a habit of this kind, from which no 
ordinary circumstances shall suffer you to depart. 
Your first object after rising and devotion, should 
be to take a survey of the business which lies 
before you during the day, making of course a 
suitable allowance for exigencies. I have seldom 
known a man in business thrive — and men of 
business we all ought to be, whatever may be our 
occupation — who did not rise early in the morn- 
ing, and plan his work for the day. Some of those 
who have been most successful, made it a point to 



PERSONAL HABITS. 83 



Gowns and slippers. The Divine rule. Looking glasses. 

have this clone before daylight. Indeed, I was 
intimately acquainted with one man who laid out 
the business of the day, attended family worship, 
ajd breakfasted before sunrise ; and this too, at all 
seasons of the year 

Morning gowns and slippers are veiy useful 
things, it is said. But the reasons given for their 
utility are equally in favor of always wearing them. 
*They are loose and comfortable.' Very well: 
Should not our dress always be loose? 'They 
save other clothes? Then why not wear them all 
day long ? The truth, after all, is, that they are 
fashionable, and as we usually give the true reason 
for a thing last, this is probably the principal rea- 
son why they are so much in use. I am pretty 
well convinced, however, that they are of little real 
use to him who is determined to eat his bread 'in 
the sw T eat of his face,' according to the Divine ap- 
pointment. 

Looking-glasses are useful in their place, but 
like many other conveniences of life, by no means 
indispensable ; and so much abused, that a man of 
sense would almost be tempted, for the sake of 
example, to lay them aside. Of all wasted time, 
none is more foolishly wasted than that which is 
employed in unnecessary looking at one's own 
pretty face. 

This may seem a matter of small consequence ; 
but nothing can be of small importance to which 
we are obliged to attend every day. If we dressed 



84 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Sir John Sinclair. Shaving. Usual parade about TtT 



or shaved but once a year, or once a month, the 
case would be altered; but this is a piece of work 
that must be done once every day ; and, as it may 
cost only about five minutes of time, and may be, 
and frequently is, made to cost thirty, or even fifty 
minutes; and, as only fifteen minutes make about 
a fiftieth part of the hours of our average day- 
light ; this being the case, it is a matter of real im- 
portance. 

Sir John Sinclair asked a friend whether he 
meant to have a son of his (then a little boy) 
taught Latin ? i No,' said he, ' but I mean to do 
something a great deal better for him.' ' What is 
that?' said Sir John. 'Why,' said the other, 'I 
mean to teach him to shave with cold water, and 
without a glass? 

My readers may smile, but I can assure them 
that Sir John is not alone. There are many others 
who have adopted this practice, and found it highly 
beneficial. One individual, who had tried it for 
years, has the following spirited remarks on the 
subject. 

' Only think of the inconvenience attending the 
common practice! There must be hot water; to 
have this there must be a fire, and, in some cases, 
a fire for that purpose alone ; to have these, there 
must be a servant, or you must light a tire your- 
self. For the want of these, the job is put off 
until a later hour: this causes a stripping and anoth- 
er dressing bout: or, you go in a slovenly state all 



PERSO.NAL HABITS. 85 



Evils of morning delays. D.ess at once, for the d:iy. 

that day, and the next day the thing must he done, 
or cleanliness must be abandoned altogether. If 
you are on a journey, you must wait the pleasure 
of the servants at the inn before you can dress and 
set out in the morning; the pleasant thne for trav- 
elling is gone before you can move from the 
spot: instead of being at the end of your day's 
journey in good time, you are benighted, and have 
to endure all the great inconveniences attendant 
on tardy movements. And all this from the ap- 
parently insiguificant'arYair of shaving. How many 
a piece of important business has failed from a 
short delay 1 And how many thousand of such de- 
lays daily proceed from this unworthy cause!' 

These remarks are especially important to those 
persons in boarding-houses and elsewhere, for 
whom hot water, if they use it r must be expressly 
prepared. 

Let me urge you never to say I cannot go, or do 
such a thing, till I am shaved or dressed. Take 
care always to be shaved and dressed, and then you 
will always be ready to act. But to this end the 
habit must be formed in early life, and pertina- 
ciously adhered to. 

There are those who can truly say that to the 
habit of adhering to the principles which have 
been laid down, they owe much of their success 
in life ; that however sober, discreet, and abstinent 
they might have been, they never could have ac- 
complished much without it. We should suppose 
8 



SG THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Experience of an officer in the army. An anecdote. 



by reasoning beforehand, that the army could not 
be very favorable to steady habits of this or any 
other kind ; yet the following is the testimony of 
one who had made the trial. 

' To the habit of early rising and husbanding try 
time well, more than to any other thing, I owed 
my very extraordinary promotion in the army. 1 
was always ready. If J had to mount guard at ten, 
I was ready at nine: never did any man, or any 
tiling, wait one moment for me. Being, at an age 
under twenty years, raised from corporal to sergeant 
major at once, over the heads of thirty sergeants, I 
should naturally have been an object of envy and 
hatred ; but this habit of early rising really subdued 
these passions. 

* Before my promotion, a clerk was wanted to 
make out the morning report of the regiment. I 
rendered the clerk unnecessary; and, long before 
any other man was dressed for the parade, my 
work for the morning was all done, and I myself 
was on the parade ground, walking, in fine weather, 
for an hour perhaps. 

'My custom was this: to get up, in summer, at 
day-light, and in winter at tour o'clock; shave, 
dress, even to the putting of my sword-belt over 
rny shoulder, and having my sword lying on the 
table before me, ready to hang by my side. Then 
I ate a bit of cheese, or pork, and bread. Then I 
prepared my report, which was filled up as fast as 
the companies brought me in the materials. After 



PERSONAL HABITS. 87 



Stor> cnruluded. Redectinis. Shaving with cold water* 

this, I had an hour or two to read, before the time 
came for any duty out of doors, unless when the 
regiment, or part of it, went out to exercise in the 
morning. When this was the case, and the matter 
was left to me, I always had it on the ground in 
such time as that the bayonets glistened in the 
rising sun; a sight which gave me delight, of which 
I often think, but which I should in vain endeavor 
to describe. 

'If the officers were to go out, eight or ten o'clock 
was the hour. Sweating men in the heat of the 
day, or breaking in upon the time for cooking their 
dinner, puts all things out of order, and all men 
out of humor. When I was commander, the men 
had a long day of leisure before them : they could 
ramble into the town or into the woods ; go to get 
raspberries, to catch birds, to catch fish, or to pur- 
sue any other recreation, and such of them as 
chose, and were qualified, to work at their trades. 
So that here, arising solely from the early habits 
of one very young man, were pleasant and happy 
days given to hundreds.' 

For my own part, I confess that only a few years 
since, I should have laughed heartily at some of 
these views, especially the cold water system of 
shaving. But a friend whom I esteemed, and who 
shaved with cold water, said so much in its favor 
that I ventured to make the trial ; and 1 can truly 
say that I would not return to my former slavery 
to hot water, if I had a servant who had nothing 



THE YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 



Effects of warm water. Extreme attention to cleanliness 



else to do but furnish it. I cannot indeed say with 
a recent writer (I think in the Journal of Health) 
that cold water is a great deal better than warm ; 
but I can and do say that it makes little if any 
difference with me which I use; though on going 
out into the cold air immediately afterward, the 
skin is more likely to chap after the use of warm 
water than cold. Besides I think the use of warm 
water more likely to produce eruptions on the skin. 
— Sometimes, though not generally, I shave, like 
Sir John Sinclair, without a glass; but I would 
never be enslaved to one, convenient as it is. 

Section XV. Bathing and Cleanliness. 

Cleanliness of the body has, some how or other, 
such a connection with mental and moral purity, 
(whether as cause or effect — or both — I will not 
undertake now to determine) that I am unwilling 
to omit the present opportunity of urging its impor- 
tance. There are those who are so attentive to this 
subject as to wash their whole bodies in water, 
either cold or warm, every day of the year : and never 
to wear the same clothes, during the day, that they 
have slept in the previous night. Now this habit 
may by some be called whimsical ; but I think it 
deserves a better name. I consider this extreme, if it 
ought to be called an extreme, as vastly more safe 
than the common extreme of neglect. 

Is it not shameful — would it not be, were human 



ON LITTLE THINGS. 



Soap and water plentiful and cheap. Cold bathing. Little things* 

duty properly understood — to pass months, and 
even years, without washing the whole body once ? 
There are thousands and tens of thousands of both 
sexes, who are exceedingly nice, even to fastidious- 
ness, about externals; — who, like those mentioned 
in the gospel, keep clean the 'outside of the cup 
and the platter,' — but alas! how is it within ? Not 
a few of us, — living, as w T e do, in a land where 
soap and water are abundant and cheap — would 
blush, if the whole story were told. 

This chapter, if extended so far as to embrace the 
whoie subject of cleanliness of person, dress, and 
apartments, and cold and warm bathing, would, 
alone fill a volume ; a volume too, which, if well 
prepared, would be of great value, especially to all 
young men. But my present limits do not permit 
of any thing farther. In regard to cold bathing, 
however, allow me to refer you to two articles in 
the third volume of the Annals of Education, pages 
315 and 344, which contain the best directions 1 can 
give on this subject. 

Section XVI. On Little Things. 

There are many things which, viewed without 
any reference to prevailing habit», manners, and 
customs, appear utterly unworthy of attention; 
and yet. after all, much of our happiness will be 
found to depend upon them. We are to remember 
that we live — not alone, on the earth — but among 



90 THE YOUNG MAN^S GUIDE. 

Ceremonies of life not vvliol y useless. A great mistake. 

a multitude, each of whom claims, and is entitled 
to his own estimate of things. Now it often hap- 
pens that what we deem a little thing, another, who 
•views the subject differently, will regard as a matter 
of importance. 

Among the items to which I refer, are many of 
the customary salutations and civilities of life ; and 
the modes of dress. Now it is perfectly obvious that 
many common phrases which are used at meeting 
and separating, during the ordinary interviews and 
concerns of life, as well as in correspondence, are 
in themselves wholly unmeaning. But viewed as 
an introduction to things of more importance, these 
little words and phrases at the opening of a conver- 
sation, and as the language of hourly and daily 
salutation, are certainly useful. They are indica- 
tions of good and friendly feeling ; and without 
them we should not, and could not, secure the con- 
fidence of some of those among whom we are 
obliged to live. They would regard us as not only 
unsocial, but selfish ; and not only selfish, but proud 
or misanthropic. 

On account of meeting with much that disgusts 
us, many are tempted to avoid society generally. 
The frivolous conversation, and still more frivolous 
conduct, which they meet with, they regard as a 
waste of time, and perhaps even deem it a duty to 
resign themselves to solitude. This, however, is a 
great mistake. Those who have been most useful 
to mankind acted very differently. They mingled 



ON LITTLE THINGS. 91 

Example of Christ. Zimmerman's views] Externals. 

with the world, in hopes to do something towards 
reforming it. The greatest of philosophers, as well 
as of Christians; — even the Founder of Christi- 
anity himself — sat down, and not only sat down, 
but ate and drank in the society of those with whose 
manners, and especially whose vices, he could have 
had no possible sympathy. 

Zimmerman, who has generally been regarded 
as an apostle of solitude, taught that men ought 
not to 'reside in deserts, or sleep, like owls, in the 
hollow trunks of trees.'' ' I sincerely exhort my 
disciples,' says he, 'not to absent, themselves mo- 
rosely from public places, nor to avoid the social 
throng; which cannot fail to afford to judicious, 
rational, and feeling minds, many subjects both of 
amusement and instruction. It is true, that we 
cannot relish the pleasures and taste the advantages 
of society, without being able to give a patient 
hearing to the tongue of folly, to excuse error, and 
to bear with infirmity.' 

In like manner, we are not to disregard wholly, 
our dress. It is true that the shape of a hat, or 
the cut of a coat may not add to the strength of 
the mind, or the soundness of the morals ; but it is 
also true that people form an opinion of us from 
our exterior appearance; and will continue to do 
so : and first impressions are very difficult to be 
overcome. If we regard our own usefulness, there- 
fore, we shall not consider the fashion or character 
of our dress as a little thing in its results. I have 



92 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



A pa adox. Guard well the lips. Beginning of wo 



said elsewhere that we ought neither to be the first 
nor the last in a fashion. 

We should remember, also, that the world, in 
its various parts and aspects, is made up of little 
things. So true is this, that I have sometimes been 
very fond of the paradoxical remark, that 'little 
things are great things;' that is, in their results. 
For who does not know that throughout the physi- 
cal world, the mightiest results are brought about 
by the silent working of small causes? It is not 
the tornado, or the deluge, or even the occasional 
storm of rain, that renews and animates nature, 
so much as the gentle breeze, the soft refreshing 
shower, and the still softer and gentler dews of 
heaven. 

So in human life, generally, they are the little 
things often, that produce the mightier results. It is 
he who takes care of pence and farthings, not he who 
neglects them, that thrives. It is he alone who 
guards his lips against the first improper word, — 
trifling as it may seem — that is secure against future 
profanity. He who indulges one little draught of 
alcoholic drink, is in danger of ending a tippler; 
he who gives loose to one impure thought, of end- 
ing the victim of lust and sensuality. Nor is it 
one single gross, or as it were accidental act, view- 
ed as insulated from the rest — however injurious 
it maybe — that injures the body, or debases the 
mind, so much as the frequent repetition of those 
smaller errors, whose habitual occurrence goes to 



OF ANGER. 93 



A pernicious error. The first steps to anger. 

establish the predominating choice of the mind, or 
affection of the soul. 

Avoid then, the pernicious, the fatal error, that 
little things are of no consequence: little sums of 
money, little fragments of time, little or trifling 
words, little or apparently unimportant actions. On 
this subject I cannot help adopting — and feeling its 
force too, — the language of a friend of temperance 
in regard to those who think themselves perfectly 
secure from danger, and are believers in the harm- 
lessness of little things.' 'I tremble,' said he, 'for 
the man that does not tremble for himself.' 

Section XVII. Of Anger, and the means of re- 
straining it. 

There is doubtless much difference of native tem- 
perament. One person is easily excited, another, 
more slowly. But there is a greater difference still, 
resulting from our habits. 

If we find ourselves easily led into anger, we 
should be extremely careful how we indulge the 
first steps that lead towards it. Those who natural- 
ly possess a mild temper may, with considerable 
safety, do and say many things which others can- 
not. Thus we. often say of a person who has met 
with a misfortune, 'It i* good enough for him; 5 
or of a criminal who has just been condemned to 
suffer punishment, 'No matter; he deserves it.*' 
Or perhaps we go farther, and on finding him ac- 



THE YOUNG Man's GUIDE. 



Nature of anger. Cruelty to animals. Mild tones of voice 1 . 

quitted, say, ' He ought to have been hanged, and 
even hanging was too good for him.' 

Now all these things, in the mouths of the irri- 
table, lead the way to an indulgence of anger, how- 
ever un perceived may be the transition. It is on 
this principle that the saying of St. John is so 
strikingly true; 'He that hateth his brother is a 
murderer;' that is, he that indulges hatred has the 
seeds within him, not only of out-hreaking anger, 
but of murder. 

It is on this account that I regret the common 
course taken with children in relation to certain 
smaller tribes of the animal creation. They are 
allowed not only to destroy them, — (which is 
doubtless often a duty,) but to destroy them in 
anger; to indulge a permanent hatred towards 
them ; and to think this hatred creditahle and scrip- 
tural. When such feelings lead us to destroy even 
the most troublesome or disgusting reptiles or 
insects, in anger, we have so far prepared the way 
for the indulgence of anger towards our fellow 
creatures, whenever their conduct shall excite our 
displeasure. 

We can hence see why he who has a violent 
temper should always speak in a low voice, and 
study mildness and sweetness in his tones. For 
loud, impassioned, and boisterous tones certainly 
excite impassioned feelings. So do all the actions 
which indicate anger. Thus Dr. Darwin has said 
that any individual, by using the language and ac- 



OF ANGER. 95 



We may work ourselves into a ra*je. Quaker anecdote. 

tions of an angry person, towards an imaginary 
object of displeasure, and accompanying them by 
threats, and blows, with a doubled or clinched fist, 
may easily work himself into a rage. Of the justice 
of this opinion I am fully convinced, from actual 
and repeated experiments. 

If we find ourselves apt to be angry, wo should 
endeavor to avoid the road which leads to it. The 
first thing to be done, is to govern our voice. On 
this point, the story of the Quaker and the merchant 
may not be uninstructive. 

A merchant in London had a dispute with a 
Quaker gentleman about the settlement of an ac- 
count. The merchant was determined to bring 
the action into court, — a course of proceeding to 
which the Quaker was wholly opposed; — he 
therefore used every argument in his power to con- 
vince the merchant of his error ; but all to no pur- 
pose. 

Desirous of making a final effort, however, the 
Quaker called at the house of the merchant, one 
morning, and inquired of the servant if his master 
was at home. The merchant hearing the inquiry 
from the top of the stairs, and knowing the voice, 
called out, loudly, 'Tell that rascal I am not at 
home.' The Quaker, looking up towards him, 
said calmly ; ' Well, friend, may God put thee in a. 
better mind.' 

The merchant was struck with the meekness of* 
the reply, and after thinking more deliberately of 



96 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Rules for overcoming a bad temper. btory of Zimmerman. 

the matter, became convinced that the Quaker was 
right, and he in the wrong. He requested to see 
him, and after acknowledging his error, said, 'I 
have one question to ask you. How were you able 
to bear my abuse with so much patience ? ' 

' Friend,' replied the Quaker, 4 I will tell thee. 
I was naturally as hot and violent as thou art. But 
I knew that to indulge my temper was sinful, and 
also very foolish. I observed that men in a pas- 
sion always spoke very loud ; and I thought if I 
-could control my voice, I should keep down my 
passions. I therefore made it a rule never to let it 
rise above a certain key; and by a careful observ- 
ance of this rule, I have, with the blessing of God, 
entirely mastered my natural temper.' 

When you are tempted by the conduct of those 
around you, to be angry, endeavor to consider the 
matter for a few moments. If your temper be so 
impetuous that you find this highly difficult, you 
may adopt some plan or device for gaining time. 
Some recommend counting twenty or thirty, de- 
liberately. The following anecdote of the cele- 
brated Zimmerman is exactly in point, and may 
afford useful hints for instruction. 

Owing in part to a diseased state of body, Zim- 
merman was sometimes irritable. One day, a 
Russian princess ami several other ladies entered 
his apartment to inquire after his health ; when, in 
a fit of petulance, he rose, and requested them to 
leave the room. The prince entered some time 



OF ANGER. 97 



The Lord's prayer. Reasons for being slow to anger. 



afterward, when Zimmerman had begun to repent 
of his rashness, and after some intervening conver- 
sation, advised him, whenever he felt a disposition 
to treat his friends so uncivilly again, to repeat, 
mentally, the Lordte prayer. This advice was fol- 
lowed, and with success. Not long afterward the 
same prince came to him for advice in regard to 
the best manner of controlling the violence of those 
transports of affection towards his young and amia- 
ble consort, in which young and happy lovers are 
so apt to indulge. 'My dear friend,' said Zimmer- 
man, 'there is no expedient which can surpass your 
own. Whenever you feel yourself overborne by 
passion, you have only to repeat the Lord's prayer, 
and you will be able to reduce it to a steady and 
permanent flame.' 

By adopting Zimmerman's rule, we shall, as 1 
have already observed, gain time for reflection, 
than which nothing more is needed. For if the 
cause of anger be a report, for example, of injury 
done to us by an absent person, either in words or 
deeds, how do we know the report is true? Or it 
may be only partly true; and how do we know, 
till we consider the matter well, whether it is worth 
our anger at all ? Or if at all, perhaps it deserves 
but a little of it. It may be, too, that the person 
who said or did the thing reported, did it by mis- 
take, or is already sorry for it. At all events,, 
nothing can be gained by haste; much may be by 
delay. 

- 9 



98 THE YOUNG MAIN'S GUIDE. 



Anger a disease. Avoid railing, — and revenge. 

If a passionate person give you ill language, you 
ought rather to pity than be angry with him, for 
anger is a species of disfease. And to correct one 
evil, will you make another? If his being "angry 
is an evil, will it mend the matter to make another 
evil, by indulging in passion yourself? Will it 
cure his disease, to throw yourself into trie same 
distemper? But if not, then how foolish is it to 
indulge improper feelings at all ! 

On the same principles, and for the same rea- 
sons, you should avoid returning railing for rail- 
ing; or reviling for reproach. It only kindles the 
more heat. Besides, you will often find silence, or 
at least very gentle words, as in the case of the 
Quaker just mentioned, the best return for re- 
proaches which could be devised. I say the best 
* return;' but I would not be understood as justi- 
fying any species of revenge. The kind of return 
here spoken of is precisely that treatment which 
will be most likely to cure the distemper in the 
other, by making him see, and be sorry for, his 
passion. 

If the views taken in this section be true, it is 
easy to see the consummate folly of all violence, 
whether between individuals or collective bodies, 
whether it be by striking, duelling, or war. For if 
an individual or a nation has done wrong, will it 
annihilate that wrong to counteract it by another 
wrong? Is it not obvious that it only makes two 
evils, where but one existed before? And can 



OF ANGER. 91) 



Unreasonableness of resisting evil. The Scripture rule. 

two wrongs ever make one right action? Which 
is the most rational, when the choice is in our 
power, to add to one existing evil, another of similar 
or greater magnitude ; or to keep quiet, and let the 
world have but one cup of misery instead of two? 

Besides, the language of Scripture is every where. 
full and decided on this point. 'Recompense to no 
man evil for evil,' and ' wo to him by whom the 
offence cometh,' though found but once or twice 
in just so many words, are in fact, some of the more 
prominent doctrines cff the New Testament; and I 
very much doubt whether you can read many- 
pages, in succession, in any part of the bible, with- 
out finding this great principle enforced. The daily- 
example of the Saviour, and the apostles and early 
Christians, is a full confirmation of it, in practice, 



CHAPTER II, 

<£n tje ifHanaijement of business. 



Section I. On commencing Business. 

Young men are usually in haste to commence 
business for themselves. This is an evil, and one 
which appears to me to be increasing. Let me 
caution my readers to be on their guard against it. 

The evils of running in debt will be adverted to 
elsewhere. I mention the subject in this place, 
because the earlier you commence business, the 
greater the necessity of resorting to credit. You 
may, indeed, in some employments, begin on a very 
small scale ; but this is attended with serious disad- 
vantages, especially at the present day, when you 
must meet with so much competition. Perhaps a 
few may be furnished with capital by their friends, 
or by inheritance. In the latter case they may as 
well use their money, if they receive it ; but I have 
already endeavored to show that it is generally for 
the interest of young men to rely upon their own 
exertions. It is extremely difficult for a person 
who has ever relied on others, to act with the same 
energy as those who have been thrown upon their 



COMMENCING BUSINESS. 101 

Inheriting pioperty, an evil. Self-dependence. Examples. 

own resources.* To learn the art of inheriting 
property or receiving large gifts, and of acting 
with the same energy as if left wholly to our own 
resources, must be reserved, I believe, for future 
and wiser generations of our race. 

I repeat it, therefore, every person had better de- 
fer going into business for himself, until he can 
stand entirely on his own footing. Is it asked how 
he can have funds from his own resources, before 
he has actually commenced business for himself? 
Why the thing is perfectly easy. He has only to 
labor a few years in the service of another. True it 
is, he may receive but moderate wages during this 
time ; but on the other hand, he will be subjected 
to little or no risk. 

Let 1000 young men, at the age of 30 years, enter 
into business with a given amount of capital, all 
acquired by their own hard earnings, and let them 
pursue their business 30 years faithfully ; that is, 
till they are 60 years of age. Let 1000 others com- 
mence at the age of 20, with three times the amount 
of capital possessed by the former, but at the same 
time either inherited, or loaned by their friends, 
and let them pursue their calling till they are 60 
years of age ; or for a period of 40 years. We will 

♦This fact, so obvious to every student of human nature, 
has sometimes given rise to an opinion that orphans make 
their way Lest in the world. So far as the business of ma- 
king money is concerned, I am not sure but it is so 



102 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Testimony of facts. In the U. States generally. In Boston 



suppose the natural talents, capacity for doing busi- 
ness, and expenditures — in fact every thing, — the 
same, in both cases. Now it requires no gift of 
prophecy to foretell, with certainty, that at 60 years 
of age a far greater proportion of the 1000, who 
began at 30 and depended solely on their own ex- 
ertions, will be men of wealth, than of those who 
began at 20 with three times their capital. The 
reason of these results is found in the very nature 
of things, as I have shown both above, and in my 
remarks on industry. 

But these views are borne out by facts. Go into 
any city in the United States, and learn the history 
of the men who are engaged in active and profita- 
ble business, and are thriving in the world, and my 
word for it, you will find the far greater part began 
life with nothing, and have had no resources what- 
ever but their own head and hands. And in no 
city is this fact more strikingly verified than in 
Boston. On the other hand, if you make a list of 
those who fail in business from year to year, and 
learn their history, you will find that a very large 
proportion of them relied on inheritances, credit, 
or some kind of foreign aid in early life ; — and not 
a few begun very young. 

There is no doctrine in this volume, which will 
be more unpopular with its readers, than this. Not 
a few will, T fear, utterly disbelieve it. They look 
at the exterior appearance of some young friend, a 
little older than themselves, who has been lifted 



COMMENCING BUSINESS 103 



Dangers f shipwreck. Caution against the hiu k-eye i. 

into business and gone on a year or two, and all 
appears fair and encouraging. They long to imi- 
tate him. Point them to a dozen others who have 
gone only a little farther, and have made shipwreck, 
and it weighs nothing or next to nothing with them. 
They suspect mismanagement, (which doubtless 
sometimes exists) and think they shall act more 
wisely. 

In almost every considerable shop in this country 
may be found young men who have nearly served 
out their time as apprentices, or perhaps have gone 
a, little farther, even, and worked a year or two as 
journeymen. They have been industrious and fru- 
gal, and have saved a few hundred dollars. This, 
on the known principles of human nature, has creat- 
ed a strong desire to make additions; and the desire 
has increased in a greater ratio than the sum. 
They are good workmen, perhaps, or if not, they 
generally think so; and those who have the least 
merit, generally have the most confidence in them- 
selves. But if there be one who has merit, there 
is usually in the neighborhood some hawk-eyed 
money dealer, who knows that he cannot better 
invest his funds than in the hands of active young 
men. This man will search him out, and offer to 
set him up in business ; and his friends, pleased to 
have him noticed, give security for payment Thus 
flattered, he commonly begins ; and after long pa- 
tience and perseverance, he may, by chance, suc- 
ceed. But a much greater number are unsuccess- 



104 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

How many young men reason. Fallacy of such reasonings 

ful, and a few drown their cares and perplexities 
in the poisoned bowl, or in debauchery ; — perhaps 
both — thus destroying their minds and souls ; or, 
it may be, abruptly putting an end to their own 
existence. 

Young men are apt to reason thus with them- 
selves. ' I am now arrived at an age when others 
have commenced business and succeeded. It is 
true I may not succeed ; but I know of no reason 
why my prospects are not as good as those of A, B, 
and C, to say the least. I am certainly as good a 
workman, and know as well how to manage, and 
attend to my own concerns, without intermeddling 
with those of others. It is true my friends advise 
me to work as a journeyman a few years longer ; 
but it is a hard way of living. Besides, what shall 
I learn all this while, that I do not already know? 
They say I shall be improving in the practical part 
of my business, if not in the theory of it. But shall 
I not improve while 1 work for myself? Suppose 
1 make blunders. Have not others done the same ? 
If I fall, I must get up again. Perhaps it will teach 
me not to stumble again. The fact is, old people 
never think the young know or can do any thing 
till they are forty years old. 1 am determined to 
make an effort. A good opportunity offers, and 
such a one may never again occur. I am confident 
I shall succeed.' 

How often have I heard this train of reasoning 
pursued ! But if it were correct, how happens it 



COMMENCING BUSINESS. 105 



Mistaken notions of the young Students in medicine. 

that those facts exist which have just been mention- 
ed ? More than this ; why do almost all men assert 
gratuitously after they have spent twenty years in 
their avocation, that although they thought them- 
selves wise when they began their profession, they 
were exceedingly ignorant? Who ever met with a 
man that did not feel this ignorance more sensibly 
after twenty years of experience, than when he first 
commenced ? 

This self flattery and self confidence — this am- 
bition to be men of business and begin to figure in 
the world, — is not confined to any particular oc- 
cupation or profession of men, but is found in all. 
Nor is it confined to those whose object in life is 
pecuniary emolument. It is perhaps equally com- 
mon among those who seek their happiness in 
ameliorating the condition of mankind by legislating 
for them, settling their quarrels, soothing their pas- 
sions, or curing the maladies of their souls and 
bodies. 

Perhaps the evil is not more glaring in any class 
of the community than in the medical profession. 
There is a strong temptation to this, in the facility 
with which licenses and diplomas may be obtain- 
ed. Any young man who has common sense, if 
he can read and write tolerably, may in some of 
the States, become a knight of the lancet in three 
years, and follow another employment a consider- 
able part of the time besides. He has only to de- 
vote some of his extra hours to the study of an- 



106 THE YOUNG MAN ? S GUIDE. 



Medical quackery. Students in theology. Their loss of health), 

atorny, surgery, and medicine, recite occasionally 
to a practitioner, as ignorant, almost, as himself; 
hear one series of medical lectures; and procure 
certificates that he has studied medicine 'three 
years,' including the time of the lectures ; and he 
will be licensed, almost of course. Then he sallies 
forth to commit depredations on society at discre- 
tion ; and how many he kills is unknown. 'I take 
it far granted, however,' said a President of a Col- 
lege, three years ago, who understood this matter 
pretty well, ' that every half-educated young physi- 
cian, who succeeds at last in getting a reputable 
share of practice, must have rid the world, rather 
prematurely, of some dozen or twenty individuals, 
at the least, in order to qualify himself for the pro- 
fession.' 

The evil is scarcely more tolerable, as regards 
young ministers, except that the community in ge- 
neral have better means of knowing when they are 
imposed upon by ignorance or quackery in this mat- 
ter, than in most other professions. The principal 
book for a student of theology is in the hands of 
every individual, and he is taught to read and under- 
stand it. The great evil which arises to students? 
of divinity themselves from entering their profes- 
sion too early, is the loss of health. Neither the 
minds nor the bodies of young men are equal to 
the responsibilities of this, or indeed of any other 
profession or oceu [ration, at 20, and rarely at 25 
Nothing is more evident than that young men, 



COMMENCING BUSINESS. 107 

New views. Examples. The Savior. John Baptist. Timothy. 

generally, are losers in the end, both in a pecuniary 
point of view and in regard to health, by commenc- 
ing business before 30 years of age. But this ] 
Lave already attempted to show. 

As regards candidates for the ministry, several 
eminent divines are beginning to inculcate the opin- 
ion, with great earnestness, that to enter fully upon 
the active duties of this laborious vocation before 
the age I have mentioned, is injurious to them- 
selves and to the cause they wish to promote — the 
•cause of God. And 'I hope their voices will be 
raised louder and louder on this topic, till the note 
-of remonstrance reaches the most distant villages 
of out country. 

It has often occurred to me that every modest 
young man, whatever may be his destination, might 
learn wisdom from consulting the history of the 
Young Man of Nazareth as well as of the illus- 
trious reformer who prepared the way for him. * 
Our young men, since newspapers have become so 
common, are apt to think themselves thoroughly 
versed in law, politics, divinity, &c. ; and are not 
backward to exhibit their talents. But who is abler 
at disputation than he who at twelve years of age 
proved a match for the learned doctors of law at 
Jerusalem? Did he, whose mind was so mature at 
twelve, enter upon the duties of his ministry (a task 

* Even Timothy — young Timothy as he has been often 
called — was probably in his 30th year when he was or- 
dained. 



108 THE YOUNG MAN'S 



The great question. Seven years' apprenticeship. Integrity. 

more arduous than has ever fallen to the lot of any 
human being) at 18 or 20 years of age ? But why 
not, when he had so much to do ? — Or did he wait 
till he was in his 30th year ? 

The great question with every young man should 
not be, When can I get such assistance as will en- 
able me to commence business ; — but, Am I well 
qualified to commence ? Perfect in his profession, 
absolutely so, no man ever will be ; but a measure 
of perfection which is rarely if ever attained under 
30 years of age, is most certainly demanded. To 
learn the simplest handicraft employment in some 
countries, a person must serve an apprenticeship of 
at least seven years. Here, in America, half that 
time is thought by many young men an intolerable 
burden, and they long to throw it off. They wish 
for what they call a better order of things. The con- 
sequences of this feeling, and a growing spirit of 
insubordination, are every year becoming more and 
more deplorable. 

Section II. Importance of Integrity. 

Every one will admit the importance of integrity 
in all his dealings, for however dishonest he may 
be himself, he cannot avoid perceiving the neces- 
sity of integrity in others. No society could exist 
were it not for the measure of this virtue which 
remains. Without a degree of confidence^ in trans- 
acting business with each other, even the savage life 



OF INTEGRITY. 109 



Few pract.se integrity. First steps to fraud. Honesty defined. 

would be a thousand times more savage thai) it now 
Is. Without it, a gang of thieves or robbers could 
not long hold together. 

But white ail admit the sterling importance of 
strict integrity, how few practise it! Let me pre- 
vail when i entreat the young not to hazard either 
their reputation or peace of mind for the uncertain 
advantages to be derived from unfair dealing. It is 
madness, especially in one who is just beginning 
the world. It would be so, if by a single unfair act 
he couid get a fortune ; leaving the loss of the soul 
out of the question. For if a trader, for example, 
is once generally known to be guilty of fraud, or 
even of taking exorbitant profits, there is an end to 
his reputation. Bad as the world is, there is some 
respect paid to integrity, and wo be to him who 
forgets it. 

If a person habitually allows himself in a single 
act not sanctioned by the great and golden rule of 
loving others as we do ourselves, he has entered a 
road whose everlasting progress is downward. 
Fraudulent in one point, he will soon be so in 
another — and another; and so onto the end of 
the chapter, if there be any end to it. At least no 
one who has gone a step in the downward road, 
can assure himself that this will not be the dreadful 
result. 

An honest bargain is that only in which the fair 
market price or value of a commodity is mutually 
allowed, so far as this is known. The market price 
10 



110 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Market prices. Many sorts of fraud. Concealment. 



is usually, the equitable price of a thing. It will be 
the object of every honest man to render, in all 
cases, an equivalent for what he receives. Where 
the market price cannot be known, each of the 
parties to an honest contract will endeavor to come 
as near it as possible ; keeping in mind the rule of 
doing to others as they would desire others to do to 
them in similar circumstances. Every bargain not 
formed on these principles is, in its results, unjust; 
and if intentional, is fraudulent. 

There are a great many varieties of this species 
of fraud. 

1. Concealing the market price. How many do 
this; and thus buy for less, and sell for more than 
a fair valuation ! Why so many practise this kind 
of fraud, and insist at the same time that it is no 
fraud at all, is absolutely inconceivable, except on 
the supposition that they are blinded by avarice. 
For they perfectly know that their customers would 
not deal with them at any other than market prices, 
except from sheer ignorance ; and that the advan- 
tage which they gain, is gained by misapprehension 
of the real value of the commodities. But can an 
honest man take this advantage? Would he take 
it of a child ? Or if he did, would not persons of 
common sense despise him for it? 

But why not as well take advantage of a child as 
of a man ? Because, it may be answered, the child 
does not know the worth of what he buys or sells; 
but the man does, or might. But in the case spe~ 



OF INTEGRITY. Ill 

Misrepresentation. Se'l rig goods which are unsound or defective^ 

cified, it is evident he does not know it, if he did 
he would not make the bargain. And for proof 
that such conduct is downright fraud, the person 
who commits it, has only to ask himself whether 
he would be willing others should take a similai 
advantage of his ignorance. 1 1 do as I agree,' is 
often the best excuse such men can make, when 
reasoned with on the injustice of their conduct^ 
without deciding the question, whether their agree- 
ment is founded on a desire to do right. 

2. Others misrepresent the market price. This 
is done in various ways. They heard somebody 
say the price in market was so or so ; or such a one 
bought at such or such a price, or another sold at 
such a price: all of which prices, purchases, and 
sales are known positively to be different from those 
which generally prevail. Many contrive to satisfy 
their consciences in this way, who would by no 
means venture at once upon plain and palpable 

3. The selling of goods or property which is 
unsound and defective, under direct professions that 
it is sound and good, is another variety of this 
species of fraud. It is sometimes done by direct 
lying, and sometimes by indefinite and hypocritical 
insinuations. Agents, and retailers often assert 
their wares to be good, because those of whom 
they have received them declare them to be such. 
These declarations are often believed, because the 
seller appears or professes to believe them ; while 
in truth, he may not give them the least credit. 



HQ THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

SeJling quack medicines. Jockeys. Their apology. 

One of the grossest impositions of this kind — 
common as it is — is practised upon the public in 
advertising and selling nostrums as safe and val- 
uable medicines. These are ushered into news- 
papers with a long train of pompous declarations, 
almost always false, and always delusive. The 
silly purchaser buys and uses the medicine chiefly 
or solely because it is sold by a respectable man, 
under the sanction of advertisements to which that 
respectable man lends his countenance. Were 
good men to decline this wretched employment, 
the medicines would probably soon fall into abso- 
lute discredit ; and health and limbs and life would, 
in many instances, be preserved from unnecessary 
destruction. 

4. Another species of fraud consists in conceal- 
ing the defects of what we sell. This is the gen- 
eral art and villany of that class of men, commonly 
called jockeys ; a class which, in reality, embraces 
some who would startle at the thought of being 
such; — and whole multitudes who would receive 
the appellation with disdain. 

The common subterfuge of the jockey is, that 
he gives no false accounts ; that the purchaser has 
eyes of his own, and must judge of the goods 
for himself. No defence can be more lame and 
wretched ; and hardly any more impudent. 

No purchaser can possibly discover many of the 
defects in commodities ; he is therefore obliged to 
depend on the seller for information concerning 



OF INTEGRITY. 113 



A lame excuse. ' Beating down.' A timely caution. 

them. All this the seller well knows, and if an 
honest man, will give the information. Now as 
no purchaser would buy the articles, if he knew 
their defects, except at a reduced price, whenever 
the seller does not give this information, and the 
purchaser is taken in, it is by downright viUany, 
whatever some may pretend to the contrary. Nor 
will the common plea, that if they buy a bad arti- 
cle, they have a right to sell it again as well as 
they can, ever justify the wretched practice of 
selling defective goods, at the full value of those 
which are more perfect. 

5. A fraud, still meaner, is practised, when we 
endeavor to lower the value of such commodities as 
we ibish to buy. 'It is naught, it is naught, says 
the buyer, but when he hath gone his way he 
boasteth,' is as applicable to our times, as to those 
of Solomon. The ignorant, the modest, and the 
necessitous — persons who should be the last to 
suffer from fraud, — are, in this way, often made 
victims. A decisive tone and confident airs, in 
men better dressed, and who are sometimes sup- 
posed to know better than themselves, easily bear 
down persons so circumstanced, and persuade them 
to sell then* commodities for less than they are 
really worth. 

Young shopkeepers are often the dupes of this 
species of treatment. Partly with a view to secure 
the future custom of the stranger, and partly in 
consequence of his statements that he can buy a 



I 4 THE YOUNG Man's GUIDE. 

False weights and measures. This evil avoidable. 

similar article elswhere at a much lower price, 
(when perhaps the quality of the other is vastly 
inferior) they not unfrequently sell goods at a pos- 
itive sacrifice — and what do they gain by it? The 
pleasure of being laughed at by the purchaser, as 
soon as he is out of sight, for suffering themselves 
to be beaten down, as the phrase is ; and of having 
him boast of his bargain, and trumpet abroad, with- 
out a blush, the value of the articles which he had 
just been decrying! 

6. I mention the use of false iveights and meas- 
ures last, not because it is a less heinous fraud, but 
because I hope it is less frequently practised than 
many others. But it is a lamentable truth that 
weights and measures are sometimes used when they 
are known to be false ; and quite often when they 
are suspected to be so. More frequently still, they 
are used when they have been permitted to become 
defective through inattention. They are often form- 
ed of perishable materials. To meet this there are 
in most of our communities, officers appointed to 
be sealers of weights and measures. When the 
latter are made of substances known to be liable to 
decay or wear, the proprietor is unpardonable if 
he does not have them frequently and thoroughly 
examined. 

I have only adverted to some of the more com- 
mon kinds of fraud ; such as the young are daily, 
and often hourly exposed to, and against which it 
is especially important, not only to their own repu- 



OF INTEGRITY. 115 



Other sorts of fraud Thineen kinds mentioned. 

tation, but to their success in business, that they 
shod !d be on their guard. I will just enumerate a 
few others, for my limits preclude the possibility of 
any thing more than a bare enumeration. 

1. Suffering borrowed articles to be injured by 
onr negligence. 2. Detaining them in our posses- 
sion longer than the lender had reason to expect. 
3. Employing them for purposes not contemplated 
by the lender. 4. The returning of an article of 
inferior value, although in appearance like that 
which was borrowed. 5. Passing suspected bank 
bills, or depreciated counterfeit or clipped coin. 
Some persons are so conscientious on this point, 
that they will sell a clipped piece for old metal, 
rather than pass it. But such rigid honesty is rather 
rare. 6. The use of pocket money, by the young, 
in a manner different from that which was known 
to be contemplated by the parent, or master who 
furnished it. 7. The employment of time in a dif- 
ferent manner from what was intended; the mu- 
tilating, by hacking, breaking, soiling, or in any 
other manner wantonly injuring buildings, fences, 
and other property, public or private; — and espe- 
cially crops and fruit trees. 8. Contracting debts, 
though ever so small, without the almost certain 
prospect of being able to pay them. 9. Neglecting 
to pay them at the time expected. 10. Paying in 
something of less value than we ought. 11. Breach- 
es of trust. 12. Breaking of promises. 13. Overtrad- 
ing by means of borrowed capital. 



116 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Method in business. Memorandum book. "* Its uses. 



Section III. Method in Business. 

There is one class of men who are of inestima- 
ble value to society — and the more so from their 
scarcity ; — I mean men of business. It is true 
you could hardly offer a greater insult to most per 
sons than to say they are not of this class ; 
but you cannot have been very observing not to 
have learned, that they who most deserve the 
charge will think themselves the most insulted by it. 

Nothing contributes more to despatch, as well as 
safety and success in business, than method and 
regularity. Let a person set down in his memo- 
randum book, every morning, the several articles 
of business that ought to be done during the day: 
and beginning with the first person he is to call 
upon, or the first place he is to go to, finish that 
affair, if possible, before he begins another ; and so 
on with the rest. 

A man of business, who observes this method, 
will hardly ever find himself hurried or discon- 
certed by forgetful ness. And he who sets down 
all his transactions in writing, and keeps his ac- 
counts, and the whole state of his affairs, in a dis- 
tinct and accurate order, so that at any time, by 
looking into his books, he can see in what condition 
his concerns are, and whether he is in a thriving 
or declining way; — such a one, I say, deserves 
properly the character of a man of business ; and 



APPLICATION TO BUSINESS. 117 

Anecdote. Much business in little time. Art of thinking well 

has a pretty fair prospect of successs in his plans.* 
But such exactness seldom suits the man of pleas- 
ure. He has other things in his head. 

The way to transact a great deal of business in 
a little time, and to do it well, is to observe three 
rules. 1. Speak to the point. 2. Use no more 
words than are necessary, fully to express your 
meaning. 3. Study beforehand, and set down in 
writing afterwards, a sketch of the transaction. 

To enable a person to speak to the point, he 
must have acquired, as one essential pre-requisite, 
the art of thinking to the point. To effect these 
objects, or rather this object, as they constitute in 
reality but one, is the legitimate end of the study of 
grammar; of the importance of which I am to 
speak elsewhere. This branch is almost equally 
indispensable in following the other two rules; but 
here, a thorough knowledge of numbers, as well as 
of language, will be demanded. 

Section IV. Application to Business. 

There is one piece of prudence, above all oth- 
ers, absolutely necessary to those who expect to 

* A gentleman of my acquaintance assures me that he 
always leaves his books, accounts, &c, in so complete a 
state, on going to bed, that if he should die during the night, 
every thing could be perfectly understood. This rule he 
adheres to, as a matter of duty; not only to his fellow men, 
but to God. 



118 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Perseverance. BxjtmpDe of this kind, from Burgh. Diligence, 

raise themselves in the world by an employment 
of any kind ; I mean a constant, unwearied appli-> 
cation to the main pursuit. By means of per- 
severing diligence, joined to frugality, we see many 
people in the lowest and most laborious stations in 
life, raise themselves to such circumstances as will 
allow them, in their old age, that relief from exces- 
sive anxiety and toil which are necessary to make 
the decline of life easy and comfortable. 

Burgh mentions a merchant, who, at first setting 
out, opened and shut his shop every day for sev- 
eral weeks together, without selling goods to the 
value of two cents; who by the force of application 
for a course of years, rose, at last, to a handsome 
fortune. But I have known many who had a va- 
riety of opportunities for settling themselves com- 
fortably in the world, yet, for want of steadiness to 
carry any scheme to perfection, they sunk from one 
degree of wretchedness to another for many years 
together, without the least hopes of ever getting 
above distress and pinching want. 

There is hardly an employment in life so trifling 
that it will not afford a subsistence, if constantly 
and faithfully followed. Indeed, it is by indefati- 
gable diligence alone, that a fortune can be acquir- 
ed in any business whatever. An estate procured 
by what is commonly called a lucky hit, is a rare 
instance ; and he who expects to have his fortune 
made in that way, is about as rational as he who 
should neglect all probable means of earning, in 



APPLICATION TO BUSINESS. 119 



Necessity of application. No useful business mean. Drones. 

hopes that he should some time or other find a 
treasure. 

There is no such thing as continuing in the same 
condition without an income of some kind or other. 
If a man does not bestir himself, poverty must, 
sooner or later, overtake him. If he continues to 
expend for the necessary charges of life, and will 
not take the pains to gain something to supply the 
place of what he deals out, his funds must at length 
come to an end ; and the misery of poverty fall 
upon him at an age when he is less able to grapple 
with it. 

No employment that is really useful to mankind 
deserves to be regarded as mean. This has been 
a stumbling stone to many young mem Because 
they could not pursue a course which they deem- 
ed sufficiently respectable, they neglected business 
altogether until so late in life that they were asham- 
ed to make a beginning. A most fatal mistake* 
Pin making is a minute affair, but will any one 
call the employment a mean one ? If so, it is one 
which the whole civilized world encourage, and to 
which they are under lasting obligation daily. Any 
useful business ought to be reputable, which is 
reputably followed. 

The character of a drone is always, especially 
among the human species, one of the most con- 
temptible. In proportion to a person's activity for 
his own good and that of his fellow creatures, he 
is to be regarded as a more or less valuable mem- 



120 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Idle men not very valuable. Prudential consideration. 



ber of society. If all the idle people in the United 
States were to be buried in one year, the loss would 
be trifling in comparison with the loss of only a 
very few industrious people. Each moment of time 
ought to be put to proper use, either in business, in 
improving the mind, in the innocent and necessary 
relaxations and entertainments of life, or in the care 
of the moral and religious part of our nature. Each 
moment of time is, in the language of theology, a 
monument of Divine mercy. 



Section V. Proper Time of Doing Business. 

There are times and seasons for every lawful 
purpose of life, and a very material part of pru- 
dence is to judge rightly, and make the best of 
them. If you have to deal, for example, with a 
phlegmatic gloomy man, take him, if you can, over 
his bottle. This advice may seem, at first view, to 
give countenance to a species of fraud: but is it so ? 
These hypochondriacal people have their fits and 
starts, and if you do not take them when they are 
in an agreeable state of mind, you are very likely to 
find them quite as much below par, as the bottle 
raises them above. But if you deal with them in this 
condition, they are no more themselves than in the 
former case. I therefore think the advice correct. 
It is on the same principles, and in the same belief, 
that I would advise you, when you deal with a 



PROPER TIME OF BUSINESS. 121 



How to meet various sorts of people. 



covetous man, to propose your business to him im- 
mediately after he has been receiving, rather than 
expending money. So if you have to do with a 
drunkard, call on him in the morning ; for then, if 
ever, his head is clear. 

Again ; if you know a person to be unhappy in 
his family, meet him abroad if possible, rather than 
at his own house. A statesman will not be likely 
to give you a favorable reception immediately after 
being disappointed in some of his schemes. Some 
people are always sour and ill humored from the 
hour of rising till they have dined. 

And as in persons, so in things, the time is a mat- 
ter of great consequence ; an eye to the rise and 
fall of goods ; the favorable season of importing 
and exporting ; — these are some of the things 
which require the attention of those who expect 
any considerable share of success. 

It is not certain but some dishonest person, 
under shelter of the rule, in this chapter, may grat- 
ify a wish to take unfair advantages of those with 
whom he deals. But I hope otherwise ; for 1 should 
be sorry to give countenance, for one moment, to 
such conduct. My whole purpose (in this place) is 
to give direction to the young for securing their 
own rights ; not for taking away the rights of others. 
The man who loves his neighbor as himself, will 
not surely put a wrong construction on what I have 
written. I would fain hope that there is no depar- 
ture here or elsewhere, in the book, from sound 
11 



122 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Owe nobody. This not an impossibility. Calculating 

christian morality ; for it is the bible, on which I 
wish to see all moral rules based. 



Section VI. Buying upon Trust. 

< Owe no man any thing, ' is an apostolic injunc- 
tion ; and happy is he who has it in his power to 
obey. In my own opinion, most young men pos- 
sess this power, did they perceive the importance 
of using it by commencing right. It is not so diffi- 
cult a thing always to purchase with ready money, 
as many {>eople imagine. The great difficulty is to 
moderate our desires and diminish our wants within 
bounds proportioned to our income. We can ex- 
pend much, or live on little; and this, too, without 
descending to absolute penury. It is truly surpris- 
ing to observe how people in similar rank, condition, 
and circumstances, contrive to expend so very dif- 
ferently. I have known instances of young men 
who would thrive on an income which would not 
more than half support their neighbors in circum- 
stances evidently similar. 

Study therefore to live within your income. 
To this end you must calculate. But here you 
will be obliged to learn much from personal ex- 
perience, dear as her school is, unless you are 
willing to learn from that of others. If, for ex- 
ample, your income is $600 a year, and you sit 
down at the commencement of the year and cal- 
culate on expending $400, and saving the remain- 



BUYING UPON TRUST. Y2S 



Buy only what you need. Franklin. Evils of credit. 

der, you will be very liable to fail in your calcula- 
tion. But if you call in the experience of wiser 
heads who have travelled the road of life before 
you, they will tell you that after you have made 
every reasonable allowance for necessary expenses 
during the year, and believe yourself able to lay up 
$200, you will not, once in ten times, be able to 
save more than two thirds of that sum — and this, 
too, without any sickness or casualty. 

It is an important , point never to buy what you 
do not want. Many people buy an article merely 
because it is cheap, and they can have credit. It 
is true they imagine they shall want it at some 
future time, or can sell it agnin to advantage. But 
they would not buy at present, if it cost them cash, 
from their pockets. The mischief is that when the 
day of payment is distant, the cost seems more 
trifling than it really is. Franklin's advice is in 
point; 'Buy what thou hast no need of, and ere 
long thou shalt sell thy necessaries;' — and such 
persons would do well to remember it. 

The difference between credit and ready money 
is very great. Innumerable things are not bought 
at all with ready money, which would be bought 
in case of trust; so much easier, is it, to order a 
thing than to pay for it. A future day, a day of 
payment must come, to be sure ; but that is little 
thought of at the time. But if the money were 
to be drawn out the moment the thing was re- 
ceived or offered, those questions would arise ; Can 



124 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Origin of suic des. Bills and bonds. Keeping written accounts 

I not do without it? Is it indispensable? And if I 
do not buy it, shall I suffer a loss or injury greater hi 
amount than the cost of the thing? If these ques- 
tions were put, every time we make a purchase, we 
should seldom hear of those suicides which dis- 
grace this country, and the old world still more. 

I am aware that it will be said, and very truly, 
that the concerns of merchants, the purchasing of 
great estates, and various other large transactions, 
cannot be carried on in this manner; but these are 
rare exceptions to the rule. And even in these 
cases, there might be much less of bills and bonds, 
and all the sources of litigation, than there now is. 
But in the every day business of life, in transactions 
with the butcher, the baker, the tailor, the shoe- 
maker, what excuse can there be for pleading the 
example of the merchant, who carries on his work 
by ships and exchanges ? 

A certain young man, on being requested to keep 
an account of all he received and expended, an- 
swered that his business was not to keep account 
books: that he was sure not to make a mistake as 
to his income; and that as to his expenditure, the 
purse that held his money, would be an infallible 
guide, for he never bought any thing that he did 
not immediately pay for. I do not mean to recom- 
mend to young men not to keep written accounts, 
for as the world is, 1 deem it indispensable. 

Few, it is believed, will deny that they generally 
pay, for the same article, a fourth part more, in the 



BUYING UPON TRUST. J 25 



Estimates of losses by running in debt. Names buy nothing. 

case of trust, than in that of ready money. Sup- 
pose now, the baker, butcher, tailor, and shoemaker, 
receive from you $400 a year. Now, if you multi- 
ply the $100 you lose, by not paying ready money, 
by 20, you will find that at the end of twenty 
years, you have a loss of $2,000, besides the ac- 
cumulated interest. 

The fathers of the English church, forbade selling 
on trust at a higher price than for ready money, 
which was the same thing in effect as to forbid 
trust ; and this was doubtless one of the great ob- 
jects those wise and pious men had in view ; for 
they were fathers in legislation and morals, as well 
as in religion. But we of the present age, seem 
to have grown wiser than they, and not only make 
a difference in the price, regulated by the differ- 
ence in the mode of payment, but no one is expect- 
ed to do otherwise. We are not only allowed to 
charge something for the use of the money, but 
something additional for the risk of the loss which 
may frequently arise, — and most frequently does 
arise — from the misfortunes of those to whom we 
thus assign our goods on trust. 

The man, therefore, who purchases on trust, not 
only pays for being credited, but he also pays his 
share of what the tradesman loses by his general 
practice of selling upon trust ; and after all, he is 
not so good a customer as the man who purchases 
cheaply with ready money. His name, indeed, is in 
the tradesman's book, but with that name the trades- 
man cannot buy a fresh supply of goods. 



126 

Adv images of ready money. Stinginess, and avarice. 

Infinite, almost, are the ways in which people 
Jose by this sort of dealing. Domestics sometimes 
go and order things not wanted at all ; at other 
times more than is wanted. All this would be 
obviated by purchasing with ready money; for 
whether through the hands of the party himself, 
or those of some other person, there would always 
be an actual counting out of the money. Somebody 
would see the thing bought, and the money paid. 
And as the master would give the steward or house- 
keeper a purse of money at the time, he would see 
the money too, would set a proper value upon it, 
and would just desire to know upon what it had 
been expended. 

Every man, who purchases for ready money, 
will naturally make the amount of the purchase as 
low as possible, in proportion to his means. This 
care and frugality will make an addition to his 
means; and therefore, at the end of his life, he 
will have a great deal more to spend, and still be 
as rich as if he had been trusted all his days. In 
addition to this, he will eat, and drink, and sleep 
in peace, and avoid all the endless papers, and 
writings, and receipts, and bills, and disputes, and 
lawsuits, inseparable from the credit system. 

This is by no means intended as a lesson of 
stinginess, nor is it any part of my purpose to in- 
culcate the plan of heaping tip money. But pur- 
chasing with ready money really gives you more 
money to purchase with ; you can afford to have a 



OF TRUSTING OTHERS. 127 

Temptation avoided. Charity often called for. An old maxim. 

greater quantity and variety of enjoyments. Jn the 
town, it will tend to hasten your pace along the 
streets, for the temptation at the windows is ans- 
wered in a moment by clapping your hand upon 
your pocket; and the question ; 'Do T really want 
it?' is sure to recur immediately ; because the touch 
of the money will put the thought into your mind. 

Now supposing you to have a fortune, even 
beyond your actual wants, would not the money 
which you might save in this way, be very well ap- 
plied in acts of real benevolence ? Can you walk 
or ride a mile, in the city or country, or go to half 
a dozen houses ; or in fact can you open your eyes 
without seeing some human being, born in the 
same country with yourself, and who, on that ac- 
count alone, has some claim upon your good wishes 
and j'our charity ? Can you, if you would, avoid 
seeing one person, if no more, to whom even a small 
portion of your annual savings would convey glad- 
ness of heart? Your own feelings will suggest 
the answer. 

Section VII. Of entrusting Business to others. 

' If you wish to have your business done, go ; if 
not, send.' This is an old maxim ; and one which 
is no less true than old. Every young man, on set- 
ting out in the world, should make it a rule, never to 
trust any thing of consequence to another, which he 
can, without too much difficulty, perforin himself. 



128 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Reasons for attending to our business. Trusting dependant's. 

1. Because, let a person have my interest ever 
so much at heart, I am sure I regard it more my- 
self. 

2. Nothing is more difficult than to know, in all 
cases, the characters of those we confide in. How 
can we expect to understand the characters of 
others, when we scarcely know our own? Which 
of us can know, positively, that he shall never be 
guilty of another vice or weakness, or yield to an- 
other temptation, and thus forfeit public confidence ? 
Who, then, will needlessly trust another, when he 
can hardly be sure of himself? 

3. No substitute we can employ, can understand 
our business as well as ourselves. 

4. We can change our measures according to 
changing circumstances; which gives us those 
opportunities of doing things in the best way, of 
which another will not feel justified in availing 
himself. 

As for dependants of every kind, it should ever 
be remembered that their master's interest some- 
times possesses only the second place in their hearts. 
Self-love, with such, will be the ruling principle of 
action ; and no fidelity whatever will prevent a 
person from bestowing a good deal of thought upon 
his own concerns. But this must, of necessity, 
break in more or less upon his diligence in con- 
sulting the interest of his employers. How men of 
business can venture, as they sometimes do, to trust 
concerns of great importance, for half of every 



OF TRUSTING OTHERS. 129 

A fashionable maxim. Sometimes leads to error. Doing good. 

week in the year, (which is half the whole year) to 
dependants, and thus expect others to take care of 
their business, when they will not he at the trouble 
of minding it themselves, is to me inconceivable! 
Nor does the detection, from time to time, of fraud 
in such persons, seem ut all to diminish this practice. 

There is a maxim among business people, < nev- 
er to do that for themselves which they can pay 
another for doing.' This, though true to a certain 
extent, is liable to abuse. If every body, without 
discrimination, could' be safely trusted, the maxim 
might be ??io7*ejust; since nothing is more obvious 
than that laborers are often at hand, whose time 
can be bought for a much less sum of money than 
you would yourself earn in the meantime. I have 
often known people make or mend little pieces 
of furniture, implements of their occupations, &e 
to save expense, when they could have earned, at 
their labor during the same time, twice the sum 
necessary to pay a trusty and excellent workman 
for doing it. 

But, as I have already observed, persons are not 
a\vays at hand, in whom you can confide ; so that 
ths certainty of having a thing done right, is worth 
much more than the loss of a little time. Besides, 
God has never said how much we must do in this 
world. We are indeed to do all we can, and at the 
same time do it well ; but how much thai is, we 
must judge. He is not necessarily the most usefuJ 
man who does even the greatest amount of good , — 



130 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

A mistake corrected. Kajrerness to overtrade. Its danger 

but lie who does the most good, attended with the 
least evil. 

But we should remember that what others do, is 
not done by ourselves. Still, an individual may often 
do many little things without any hindrance to his 
main object. For example, I w r ould not thank a 
person to make or mend my pen, or shave me ; 
because I can write as much, or perform as much 
business of any kind, in a week or month — proba- 
bly more — if I stop to mend my pens, shave my- 
self daily, make fires, saw and split wood, &c. as 
if I do not. And the same is true of a thousand 
other things. 



Section VIII. Over Trading. 

I have already classed this among the frauds into 
which business men are in danger of falling; and 
1 cannot but think its character will be pretty well 
established by what follows. 

Over trading is an error into which many indus- 
trious, and active young men are apt to run, from 
a desire of getting rich more rapidly than they are 
able to do with a smaller business. And yet pro- 
fusion itself is not more dangerous. Indeed, L 
question whether idleness brings more people to 
ruin than over trading. 

This subject is intimately connected with credit 
for it is the credit system that gives such facilities 
to over trading. But of the evils of credit I have 



MAKING CONTRACTS. 131 



Sin of monopoly. Making bargains beforehand. Reasons. 

treated fully elswhere. I will only add, under this 
head, a few remarks on one particular species of 
trading. I refer to the conduct of many persons, 
with large capitals, who, for the sake of adding to 
a heap already too large, monopolize the market, — 
or trade for a profit which they know dealers of 
smaller fortunes cannot possihly live by. If such 
men really think that raising themselves on the ruin 
of others, in this manner, is justifiable, and that rich- 
es obtained in this manner are fairly earned, they 
must certainly have either neglected to inform 
themselves, or stifled the remonstrances of con- 
science, and bid defiance to the laws of God. 

Section IX. Making Contracts beforehand. 

In making bargains — with workmen, for exam- 
ple — always do it beforehand, and never suffer 
the matter to be deferred by their saying they will 
leave it to your discretion. 

There are several reasons why this ought to be 
done. 1st. It prevents any difficulty afterward ; and 
does no harm, even when the intentions of both 
parties are perfectly good. 2d. If you are dealing 
with a knave, it prevents him from accomplishing 
any evil designs he may have upon you. 3d. 
Young people are apt to be deceived by appear- 
naces, both from a credulity common to their youth 
and inexperience, and because neither the young 
nor the old have any certain method of knowing 



132 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Contracts should be in writing. The sliaiper. The avaricious. 

human character by externals. The most open 
hearted are the most liable to be imposed upon by 
the designing. 

It will be well to have all your business — of 
course all contracts — as far as may be practicable, 
in writing. And it would be well if men of busi- 
ness would make it a constant rule, whenever and 
wherever it is possible, to draw up a minute or 
memorial of every transaction, subscribed by both, 
with a clause signifying that in case of any differ- 
ence, they would submit the matter to arbitration. 

Nothing is more common than for a designing 
person to put off the individual he wishes to take 
advantage of, by saying; We shanH disagree, til 
do what 's right about it ; I won't wrong you, fyc. 
And then when accounts come to be settled, and 
the party who thinks himself aggrieved, says that 
he made the bargain with the expectation of having 
such and such advantages allowed him, JVb, says 
the sharper, 1 never told you any such thing. 

It is on this account that you cannot be too exact 
in making contracts ; nor is there indeed any safety 
in dealing with deceitful and avaricious people, 
after you have taken all the precaution in your 
power. 



WHOM TO DEAL WITH. 133 

Two maxims reconciled. How to detect knavery. 



Section X. How to know with whom to deal. 

There are two maxims in common life that seem 
to clash with each other, most pointedly. The first 
is, ' Use every precaution with a stranger, that you 
would wish you had dune, should he turn out to be 
a villain;' and secondly, 'Treat every man as an 
honest man, until he proves to be otherwise.' 

Now there is good advice in both these maxims. 
By this I mean that they may both be observed, 
to a certain extent, without interfering with each 
other. You may be cautious about hastily becom- 
ing acquainted with a stranger, and yet so far as 
you have any concern with him, treat him like 
an honest man. No reasonable person will com- 
plain if you do not unbosom yourself to him at 
once. And if he is unreasonable, you will not 
wish for an intimate acquaintance with him. 

My present purpose is to offer a few hints, with 
a view to assist you in judging of the characters of 
those with whom it may be your lot to deal. Re- 
member, however, that like all things human, they 
are imperfect. All I can say is that they are the 
best I can offer. 

There is something in knavery that will hardly 
bear the inspection of a piercing eye ; and you 
may, more generally, observe in a sharper an un- 
steady and confused look. If a person is per- 
suaded of the uncommon sagacity of one before, 
12 



134 

Avaricious men seldom honest. Cant and fawning. Suspicion. 

whom he is to appear, he will hardly succeed m 
mustering impudence and artifice enough to bear 
him through without faltering. It will, therefore, 
be a good way to try one whom you have reason 
to suspect of a design upon you, by fixing your 
eyes upon his, and bringing up a supposition of 
your having to do with one whose integrity you 
suspected ; stating what you would do in such a 
case. If the person you are talking with be really 
what you expect, he will hardly be able to keep his 
countenance. 

It will be a safe rule, — though doubtless there 
are exceptions to it, — to take mankind to be more 
or less avaricious. Yet a great love of money is 
a great enemy to honesty. The aged are, in this 
respect, more dangerous than the young. It will 
be your wisdom ever to be cautious of aged ava- 
rice ; and especially of those who, in an affected 
and forced manner, bring in religion, and talk much 
of duty on all occasions; of all smooth and fawning 
people ; of those who are very talkative, and who, 
in dealing with you, endeavor to draw off your at- 
tention from the point in hand by incoherent or 
random expressions. 

I have already advised you how to proceed with 
those of whom you have good reason to be suspi- 
cious. But by all means avoid entertaining unne- 
cessary suspicions of your fellow beings; for it 
will usually render both you and them the more 
miserable. It is often owing to a consciousness 



WHOM TO DEAL WITH. 135 



Boasters. Fromisers. Avoid the cruel man. 

of a designing temper, in ourselves, that we are led 
to suspect others. 

If you hear a person boasting of having got a 
remarkably good bargain, you may generally con- 
clude him by no means too honest ; for almost al- 
ways where one gains much in a bargain, the other 
loses. I know well that cases occur where both 
parties are gainers, but not greatly so. And when 
you hear a man triumph in gaining by another's 
loss, you may easily judge of his character. 

Let me warn you against the sanguine promis- 
ers. Of these there are two sorts. The first are 
those who from a foolish custom of fawning upon 
all those whom they meet with in company, have 
acquired a habit of promising great favors which 
they have no idea of performing. The second are 
a sort of warm hearted people, who while they 
lavish their promises have some thoughts of per- 
forming them ; but when the time comes, and the 
sanguine fit is worn off, the trouble or expense ap- 
pears in another light ; the promiser cools, and the 
expectant is disappointed. 

Be cautious of dealing with an avaricious and 
cruel man, for if it should happen by an unlucky 
turn of trade that you should come into the power 
of such a person, you have nothing to expect but 
the utmost rigor of the law. 

In negotiating, there are a number of circum- 
stances to be considered ; the neglect of any of 
which may defeat your whole scheme. These 
will be mentioned in the next section. 



336 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Studying human nature. The miser. The passionate man. 



Section XI. How to take Men as they are. 

Such a knowledge of human character as will 
enable us to treat mankind according to their dis- 
positions, circumstances, and modes of thinking, 
so as to secure their aid in all our laudable pur- 
poses, is absolutely indispensable. And while all 
men boast of their knowledge of human nature, 
and would rather be thought ignorant of almost 
every thing else than this, how obvious it is that 
there is nothing in regard to which there exists so 
much ignorance! 

A miser is by no means a proper person to ap- 
ply to for a favor that will cost him any thing. 
But if he chance to be a man of principle, he may 
make an excellent partner in trade, or arbitrater in 
a dispute about property ; for he will have patience 
to investigate little things, and to stand about trifles, 
which a generous man would scorn. Still, as an 
honest man, and above all as a Christian, I doubt 
whether it would be quite right thus to derive ad- 
vantage from the vices of another. In employing 
the miser, you give scope to his particular vice. 

A passionate man will fly into a rage at the most 
trifling affront, but he will generally forget it nearly 
as soon, and be glad to do any thing in his power 
to make up with you. It is not therefore so dan- 
gerous to disoblige him, as the gloomy, sullen mor- 
tal, wlm will wait seven years for an opportunity to 
do you mischief. 



TAKING MEN AS THEY ARE. 137 

The slow man. The covetous. Boasters. The talkative* 

A cool, slow man, who is somewhat advanced 
in age, is generally the best person to advise with. 
For despatch of business, however, make use of 
the young, the warm, and the sanguine. Some men 
are of no character at all ; but always take a tinge 
from the last company they were in. Their ad- 
vice, as well as their assistance, is usually good for 
nothing. 

It is in vain to think of finding anything very 
valuable in the mind of a covetous man. Avarice 
is generally the vice of abject spirits. Men who 
have a very great talent at making money, com- 
monly have no other ; for the man who began with 
nothing, and has accumulated wealth, has been too 
busy to think of improving his mind; or indeed,, 
to think of any thing else but property. 

A boaster is always to be suspected. His is a 
natural infirmity, which makes him forget what 
he is about, and run into a thousand extravagances 
that have no connection with the truth. With those 
who have a tolerable knowledge of the world, all 
his assertions, professions of friendship, promises, 
and threatenings, go for nothing. Trust him with 
a secret, and he will surely discover it, either 
through vanity or levity. 

A meek tempered man is not quite the proper 
person for you ; his modesty will be easily confound- 
ed. — The talkative man will be apt to forget him- 
self, and blunder out something that will give you 
trouble. 



138 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



The ruling passion. A bully. Six kinds of character* 

A man's ruling passion is the key by which you 
may come at his character, and pretty nearly guess 
how he will act in any given circumstances, unless 
he is a wit or a tool ; they act chiefly from caprice. 

There are likewise connections between the dif- 
ferent parts of men's characters, which it will be 
useful for you to study. For example, if you find 
a man to be hasty and passionate, you may gene- 
rally take it for granted he is open and artless, and 
so on. Like other general rules, however, this ad- 
mits of many exceptions. 

A bully is usually a coward. When, therefore, 
you unluckily have to deal with such a man, the 
best way is to make up to him boldly, and answer 
him with firmness. If you show the least sign of 
submission, he will take advantage of it to use 
you ill. 

There are six sorts of people, at whose hands 
you need not expect much kindness. The sordid 
and narroiv minded, think of nobody but them- 
selves. The lazy will not take the trouble to oblige 
you. The busy have not time to think of you. 
The overgrown rich man, is above regarding any 
one, how much soever he may stand in need of 
assistance. The poor and unhappy often have 
not the ability. The good natured simpleton, how- 
ever willing, is incapable of serving you. * 

* These statements may seem to require a little quali- 
fication. Tnere are two sorts of busy men. One sort 
ore busy, as the result of benevolent purpose. These 



TAKING MEN AS THEY ARE. 139 



fonth precipitate. Age cautious. Two sorts of rich men. 

The age of the person you are to deal with is 
also to be considered. Young people are easily- 
drawn into any scheme, merely from its being new, 
especially if it falls in with their love of pleasure; 
but they are almost as easily discouraged from it 
by the next person they meet with. They are not 
good counsellors, for they are apt to be precipitate 
and thoughtless ; but are very fit for action, where 
you prescribe them a track from which they know 
they must not vary. Old age, on the contrary, is 

are often among the best of mankind; and though always 
busy in carrying out their plans, they find time to perform 
a thousand little acts of goodness, notwithstanding. — It 
has, indeed, been sometimes said, that when a great public 
enterprise is about to be undertaken, which requires the 
aid of individual contributions, either of time or money, 
those who are most busy, and from whom we might naturally 
expect the least, often do the most. It is also said that 
men of business have the most leisure; and it sometimes 
seems to be true, where they methodize their plans pro- 
perly. These maxims, however, apply with the most force 
to men devoted to a higher purpose than the worship of 
this world — men who live for God, and the good of his 
universe, generally. 

There are also two sorts of rich men. Some men may 
have property in their hands to an immense amount, with- 
out possessing a worldly spirit. The rich man referred to 
above, is of another sort. He is the man who c gets all he 
can, and keeps all he can get. 9 This is probably the 
gospel definition of the term, a rich man, who, it is said, 
can mo more enter a world of spiritual enjoyment than u 
camel or a cable can go through * the eye of a needle.' 



140 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Old and young counsellors compared. Who are the best. 

slow but sure ; very cautious ; opposed to new 
schemes and ways of life ; inclining, generally, to 
covetousuess ; fitter to consult with you, than to 
act for you ; not so easily won by fair speeches or 
long reasonings ; tenacious of old opinions, cus- 
toms, and formalities ; apt to be displeased with 
those, especially younger people, who pretend to 
question their judgment; fond of deference, and of 
being listened to. Young people, in their anger, 
mean less than they say ; old people more. You 
may make up for an injury with most young men; 
the old are generally more slow in forgiving. 

The fittest character to be concerned with in 
business, is, that in which are united an inviolable 
integrity, founded upon rational principles of vir- 
tue and religion, a cool but determined temper, a 
friendly heart, a ready hand, long experience and 
extensive knowledge of the world; with a solid 
reputation of many years' standing, and easy cir- 
cumstances. 



Section XII. Of desiring the good opinion of others. 

A young man is not far from ruin, when he can 
say, without blushing, I don't care what others think 
of me. To be insensible to public opinion, or to 
the estimation in which we are held by others, by 
no means indicates a good and generous spirit. 

But to have a due regard to public opinion is 
one thing, and to make that opinion the principal 



REGARD TO PUBLIC OPINION. 141 

Regard to public opinion. Enemies sometimes the best of friends. 

rule of action, quite another. There is no greater 
weakness than that of letting our happiness depend 
too much upon the opinion of others. Other people 
lie under such disadvantages for coming at our true 
characters, and are so often misled by prejudice for 
or against us, that if our own conscience condemns 
us, their approbation can give us little consolation. 
On the other hand, if we are sure we acted from 
honest motives, and with a reference to proper 
ends, it is of little consequence if the world should 
happen to find fault. Mankind, for the most part, 
are so much governed by fancy, that what will win 
their hearts to-day, will disgust them to-morrow ; 
and he who undertakes to please every body at all 
times, places, and circumstances, will never be in 
want of employment. 

A wise man, when he hears of reflections made 
upon him, will consider whether they are just. If 
they are, he will correct the faults in question, with 
as much cheerfulness as if they had been suggested 
by his dearest friend. 

I have sometimes thought that, in this view, 
enemies were the best of friends. Those who are 
merely friends in name, are often unwilling to tell 
us a great many things which it is of the highest 
importance that we should know. But our ene- 
mies, from spite, envy, or some other cause, men- 
tion them; and we ought on the whole to rejoice 
that they do, and to make the most of their re- 
marks. 



142 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Of meddlers. A useful rule. Match-makers. 



Section XIII. Intermeddling tvith the affairs of 
others. 

There are some persons who never appear to be 
happy, if left to themselves and their own reflec- 
tions. All their enjoyment seems to come from 
without ; none from within. They are ever for 
having something to do witli the affairs of others. 
Not a single petty quarrel can take place, in the 
neighborhood, but they suffer their feelings to be 
enlisted, and allow themselves to "take sides" with 
one of the parties. Those who possess such a dis- 
position are among the most miserable of their race. 

An old writer says that 'Every one should mind 
his own business; for he who is perpetuallv con- 
cerning himself about the good or ill fortune of 
others, will never be at rest.' And he says truly. 

It is not denied that some men are profession- 
ally bound to attend to the concerns of others. 
But this is not the case supposed. The bulk of 
mankind will be happier, and do more for others, 
by letting them alone; at least by avoiding any of 
that sort of meddling which may be construed into 
officiousness. 

Some of the worst meddlers in human society 
are those who have been denominated match-mak- 
ers. A better name for them, however, woidd be 
match-breakers, for if they do not actually break 
more matches than they make, they usually causo 



ON KEEPING SECRETS. 143 

Taking sides on all occasions. Its evils. Of secrets- 

a great deal of misery to those whom they are in- 
strumental in bringing prematurely together. 

Many people who, in other respects, pass for ex- 
cellent, do not hesitate to take sides on almost all 
occasions, whether they know much about the real 
merits of the case or not. Others judge, at once, 
of every one of whom they hear any tiling evil T 
and in the same premature manner. 

All these and a thousand other kinds of 'med- 
dling' do much evil.- The tendency is to keep 
men like Ishmael, with their hands against every 
man, and every man's hands against theirs. 



Section XIV. On Keeping Secrets. 

It is sometimes said that in a good state of so- 
ciety there would be no necessity of keeping secrets, 
for no individual would have any thing to conceal. 
This maybe true; but if so, society is far — very 
far — from being as perfect as it ought to be. At 
present we shall find no intelligent circle, except 
it w r ere the society of the glorified above, which 
does not require occasional secrecy. But if there 
are secrets to be kept, somebody must keep them. 

Some persons can hardly conceal a secret, if 
they would. They will promise readily enough ; 
but the moment they gain possession of the fact, its 
importance rises in their estimation, till it occupies 
so much of their waking thoughts, that it will be 
almost certain, in some form or other, to escape 
them. 



144 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Promise breakers. A few persons may be trusted. Reserve. 

Others are not very anxious to conceal things 
which are entrusted to them. They may not wish 
to make mischief, exactly; but there is a sort of 
recklessness about them, that renders them very 
unsafe confidants. 

Others again, when they promise, mean to per- 
form. But no sooner do they possess the treasure 
committed to their charge, than they begin to grow 
forgetful of the manner of coming by it. And be- 
fore they are aware, they reveal it. 

There are not many then, whom it is safe to 
trust. These you will value as they do diamonds, 
in proportion to their scarcity. 

But there are individuals who m«rit your high- 
est confidence, if you can but find them. Hus- 
bands, where a union is founded as it ought to be, 
can usually trust their wives. This is one of the 
prominent advantages of matrimony. It gives us an 
opportunity of unbosoming our feelings and views 
and wishes not only with safety, but often with 
sympathy. 

But confidence may sometimes be reposed, in 
other circumstances. Too much reserve makes us 
miserable. Perhaps it were better that we should 
suffer a little, now and then, than that we should 
never trust. 

As an instance of the extent to which mankind 
can sometimes be confided in, and to show that 
celibacy, too, is not without this virtue, you will 
allow me to relate, briefly, an anecdote. 



PEAR Or POVERTY. 



145 



A singular disease. Poverty ill this country, often imaginary. 

A certain husband and wife had difficulties. 
They both sought advice of a single gentleman, 
their family physician. For some time there was 
hope of an amicable adjustment of all grievances ; 
but at length every effort proved vain, and an open 
quarrel ensued. But what was the surprise of each 
party to learn by accident, some time afterward, 
that both of them had sought counsel of the same 
individual, and yet he had not betrayed the trust. 

In a few instances.^ too, secrets have been con- 
fided to husbands, without their communicating 
them to their wives ; and the contrary. This was 
done, however, by particular request. Jt is a re- 
quisition which, for my own part, I should be very 
unwilling to make. 

Section XV. Fear of Poverty. 

The ingenious but sometimes fanciful Dr. Dar- 
win, reckons the fear of poverty as a disease, and 
goes on to prescribe for it. 

The truth is, there is not much real poverty in 
this country. Our very paupers are rich, for they 
usually have plenty of wholesome food, and com- 
fortable clothing, and what could a Croesus, with 
all his riches, have more? Poverty exists much 
more in imagination than in reality. The shame of 
being thought poor, is a great and fatal weakness, 
to say the least. It depends, it is true, much upon 
the fashion. 

13 



146 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Danger of the young. Republican society. Disguising our poverty. 

So long as the phrase ' he is a good man,' mean? 
that the person spoken of is rich, we need not 
wonder that every one wishes to be thought richer 
than he is. When adulation is sure to follow 
wealth, and when contempt would be sure to fol- 
low many if they were not wealthy ; when people 
are spoken of with deference, and even lauded to 
the skies because their riches are very great ; when 
this is the case, I say, we need not wonder if men 
are ashamed to be thought poor. But this is one 
of the greatest dangers which young people have 
to encounter in setting out in life. It has brought 
thousands. and hundreds of thousands to pecuniary 
ruin. 

One of the most amiable features of good repub- 
lican society is this ; that men seldom boast of their 
riches, or disguise their poverty, but speak of both, 
as of any other matters that are proper for conver- 
sation. No man shuns another because he is poor; 
no man is preferred to another because he is rich. 
In hundreds and hundreds of instances have men 
in this country, not worth a shilling, been chosen 
by the people to take care of their rights and inter- 
ests, in preference to men who ride in their car 
riages. 

The shame of being thought poor leads to ever - 
lasting efforts to disguise one's poverty. The car- 
riage — the domestics — the wine — the spirits — 
the decanters — the glass ; — all the table apparatus, 
the horses, the dresses, the dinners, and the parties. 



FEAR OF POVERTY. 147 



Fear of poverty produces it. Keeping up appearances. 

must be kept up; not so much because he or she 
who keeps or gives them has any pleasure arising 
therefrom, as because not to keep and give them, 
would give rise to a suspicion of a want of means. 
And thus thousands upon thousands are yearly 
brought into a state of real poverty, merely by their 
great anxiety not to be thought poor. Look around 
you carefully, and see if this is not so. 

Jn how many instances have you seen amiable 
and industrious families brought to ruin by nothing 
else but the fear they should be? Resolve, then, 
from the first, to set this false shame at defiance. 
When you have done that, effectually, you have 
laid the corner-stone of mental tranquillity. 

There are thousands of families at this very mo- 
ment, struggling to keep up appearances. They 
feel that it makes them miserable ; but you can no 
more induce them to change their course, than you 
can put a stop to the miser's laying up gold. 

Farmers accommodate themselves to their con- 
dition more easily than merchants, mechanics, and 
professional men. They live at a greater distance 
from their neighbors ; they can change their style 
of living without being perceived ; they can put 
away the decanter, change the china for something 
plain, and the world is none the wiser for it. But 
the mechanic, the doctor, the attorney, and the tra- 
der cannot make the change so quietly and unseen. 

Stimulating drink, which is a sort of criterion of 
the scale of living, — (or scale to the plan,) — a 



148 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Drinking water not genteel. Fear of being thought stingyT 

sort of key to the tune; — this is the thing to banish 
first of all, because all the rest follow; and in a 
short time, come down to their proper level. 

Am 1 asked, what is a glass of wine ? 1 answer, 
it is every thing. It creates a demand for all the 
other unnecessary expenses; it is injurious to health, 
and must be so. Every bottle of wine that is drank 
contains a portion of spirit, to say nothing of other 
drugs still more poisonous ; and of all friends to the 
doctors, alcoholic drinks are the greatest. It is 
nearly the same, however, with strong tea and 
coffee. But what adds to the folly and wickedness 
of using these drinks, the parties themselves do not 
always drink them by choice ; and hardly ever be- 
cause they believe they are useful;* — but from 
mere ostentation, o.r the fear of being thought either 
rigid or stingy. At this very moment, thousands 
of families daily use some half a dozen drinks, 6e- 
sides the best, because if they drank water only, 
they might not be regarded as genteel ; or might be 
suspected of poverty. And thus they waste their 
property and their health. 

Poverty frequently arises from the very virtues 
of the impoverished parties. Not so frequently, I 
admit, as from vice, folly, and indiscretion; but 
still very frequently. And as it is according to 
scripture not to ' despise the poor, because he is 
poor,' so we ought not to honor the rich merely 
because he is rich. The true way is to take a fair 
survey of the character of a man as exhibited iw 



FEAR OF POVERTY. 149 



Causes of suicide. These fire various. Folly of tlvs crime. 



his conduct; and to respect him, or otherwise, 
according to a due estimate of that character. 

Few countries exhibit more of those fatal termi- 
nations of life, called suicides, than this. Many of 
these unnatural crimes arise from an unreasonable 
estimate of the evils of poverty. Their victims, it 
is true, may be called insane ; but their insanity 
almost always arises from the dread of poverty. 
Not, indeed, from the dread of the want of means 
for sustaining life, or even decent living ; but from 
the dread of being thought or known to be poor; — 
from the dread of what is called falling in the scale 
of society. * 

Viewed in its true light, what is there in poverty 
that can tempt a man to take away his own life? 
He is the same man that he was before ; he has the 
same body and the same mind. Suppose he can 
foresee an alteration in his dress or his diet, should 
he kill himself on that account? Are these all the 
things that a man wishes to live for? 

* I should be sorry to be understood as affirming that a 
majority of suicidal acts are the result of intemperance; — 
by no means. My own opinion is, that if there be a single 
vice more fruitful of this horrid crime than any other, it is 
gross sensuality. The records of insane hospitals, even in 
this country will show, that this is not mere conjecture. As 
it happens, however, that the latter vice is usually accompa- 
nied by intemperance in eating and drinking, by gambling, 
&c, the blame is commonly thrown, not on the principal 
agent concerned in 'lie crime, but on die accomplices. 



150 

St. Paul's advice. Early fondness for speculation. 

I do not deny that we ought to take care of our 
means, use them prudently and sparingly, and keep 
our expenses always within the limits of our in- 
come, be that what it may. One of the effectual 
means of doing this, is to purchase with ready 
money. On this point, I have already remarked 
at length, and will only repeat here the injunction 
of St. Paul; 'Owe no man any thing;' although 
the fashion of the whole world should be against 
you. 

Should you regard the advice of this section, the 
counsels of the next will be of less consequence ; 
for you will have removed one of the strongest 
inducements to speculation, as well as to overtrad- 
ing. 



Section XVI. On Speculation. 

Young men are apt to be fond of speculation. 
This propensity is very early developed — first in 
the family — and afterwards at the school. By 
speculation, I mean the purchasing of something 
which you do not want for use, solely with a view 
to sell it again at a large profit ; but on the sale of 
which there is a hazard. 

When purchases of this sort are made with the 
person's own cash, they are not so unreasonable, 
but when they are made by one who is deeply in- 
debted to his fellow beings, or with money bor- 
rowed for the purpose, it is not a whit better than 



ON SPECULATION. 151 



Speculation a sort of gambling, fts evils. A common mistake. 

gambling, let the practice be defended by whom it 
may: and has been in every country, especially in 
this, a fruitful source of poverty, misery, and sui- 
cide. Grant that this species of gambling has 
arisen from the facility of obtaining the fictitious 
means of making the purchase, still it is not the 
less necessary that I beseech you not to practise it, 
and if engaged in it already, to disentangle yourself 
as soon as you can. Your life, while thus engaged, 
is that of a gamester — call it by what smoother 
name you may. It -is a life of constant anxiety, 
desire to overreach, and general gloom ; enlivened 
now and then, by a gleam of hope or of success. 
Even that success is sure to lead to farther adven- 
tures ; till at last, a thousand to one, that your fate 
is that of ' the pitcher to the well.' 

The great temptation to this, as weM as to every 
other species of gambling, is, the success of the few. 
As young men, who crowd to the army in search 
of rank and renown, never look into the ditch that 
holds their slaughtered companions, but have their 
eye constantly fixed on the commander-in-chief; 
and as each of them belongs to the same profession, 
and is sure to be conscious that he has equal merit, 
every one dreams himself the suitable successor of 
him who is surrounded with aides-de-camp, and 
who moves battalions and columns by his nod ; — 
go with the rising generation of ' speculators.' They 
see those whom they suppose nature and good laws 
made to black shoes, or sweep chimneys or streets, 



152 THE YOUNG MAN ? S GUinE. 

Avoid the law. Litiaiousness a contagions diseases 

rolling in carriages, or sitting in palaces, surround- 
ed by servants or slaves ; and they can see no earthly 
reason why they should not all do the same. They 
forget the thousands, and tens of thousands, who in 
making the attempt, have reduced themselves to 
beggary. 



Section XVII. On Lawsuits, 

In every situation in life, avoid the law. Man's* 
nature must be changed, perhaps, before lawsuits 
Will entirely cease; and yet it. is in the power of 
most men to avoid them, in a considerable degree. 

One excellent rule is, to have as little as possible 
to do with those who are fond of litigation ; and 
who, upon every slight occasion, talk of an appeal to 
the law. This may be called a disease ; and, like 
many other diseases, it is contagious. Besides, these 
persons, from their frequent litigations, contract a 
habit of using the technical terms of the courts, in 
which they take a pride, and are therefore, as com- 
panions, peculiarly disgusting to men of sense. 
To such beings a lawsuit is a luxury, instead of 
being regarded as a source of anxiety, and a reaf 
scourge. Such men are always of a quarrelsome* 
disposition, and avail themselves of every opportu- 
nity to indulge in that which is mischievous to their 
neighbors. 

I?i thousands of instances, men go to law for the 
indulgence of mere anger- The Germans are said 



ON LAWSUITS. 153 



Spite-actions. Nothing gained by lawsuits. x\necdotes. 

to bring spite-actions against one another, and to 
harass their poorer neighbors from motives of pure 
revenge. But I hope this is a mistake ; for I am 
unwilling to think so ill of that intelligent nation. 

Before you decide to go to law, consider well 
the cost, for if you win your suit and are poorer 
than you were before, what do you gain by it ? You 
only imbibe n little additional anger against your 
opponent ; you injure him, but at the same time, in- 
jure yourself more. - Better to put up with the loss 
of one dollar than of two ; to which is to be added, 
all the loss of time, all the trouble, and all the mor- 
tification and anxiety attending a lawsuit. To set 
an attorney at work to worry and torment another 
man, and alarm his family as well as himself, while 
you are sitting quietly at home, is baseness. If a 
man owe you money which he cannot pay, why 
add to his distress, without even the chance of be- 
nefiting yourself? Thousands have injured them- 
selves by resorting to the law, while very few, in- 
deed, ever bettered their condition by it. 

Nearly a million of dollars was once expended 
in England, during the progress of a single lawsuit 
Those who brought the suit expended $ 444,000 to 
carry it through ; and the opposite party was ac- 
quitted, and only sentenced to pay the cost of pros- 
ecution, amounting to $318,754. Another was 
sustained in court fifty years, at an enormous ex- 
pense. In Meadville, in Pennsylvania, a petty law 
case occurred in which the damages recovered 



154 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



More anecdotes on the same subject. Litigiousness hereditary- 

were only ten dollars, while the costs of court were 
one hundred. In one of the New England States, 
a lawsuit occurred, which could not have cost the 
parties less than $1000 each; and yet after all this 
expense, they mutually agreed to take the matter 
out of court, and suffer it to end where it was. 
Probably it was the wisest course they could possi- 
bly have taken. It is also stated that a quarrel 
occurred between two persons in Middlebury, Ver- 
mont, a few years since, about six eggs, which was 
carried from one court to another, till it cost the 
parties $ 4,000. 

I am well acquainted with a gentleman wno was 
once engaged in a lawsuit, (than which none per- 
haps, was ever more just) where his claim was one 
to two thousand dollars ; but it fell into such a 
train that a final decision could not have been ex- 
pected in many months ; — perhaps not in years. 
The gentleman was unwilling to be detained and 
perplexed with waiting for a trial, and he accord- 
ingly paid the whole amount of costs to that time, 
amounting to $ 150, went about his business, and 
believes, to this hour, that it was the wisest course 
he could have pursued. 

A spirit of litigation often disturbs the peace of 
a whole neighborhood, perpetually, for several gen- 
erations; and the hostile feeling thus engendered 
seems to be transmitted, like the color of the eyes 
or the hair, from father to son. Indeed it not un- 
frequently happens, that a lawsuit in a neighbor- 



ON LAWSUITS. 155 



Arbitration. First steps to the law. Tarring and feathering. 

hood, a society, or even a church, awakens feelings 
of discord, which never terminate, but at the death 
oftiie parties concerned. 

How ought young men, then, to avoid, as they 
would a pestilence, this fiend-like spirit! Kow 
ought they to labor to settle all disputes — should 
disputes unfortunately arise, — without this tremen- 
dous resort! On the strength of much observation, 
- — not experience, for I have been saved the pain 
of learning in that painful school, on this subject, — 1 
do not hesitate to recommend the settlement of such 
difficulties by arbitration. 

One thing however should be remembered. 
Would you dry up the river of discord, you must 
first exhaust the fountains and rills which form it. 
The moment you indulge one impassioned or an- 
gry feeling against your fellow being, you have 
taken a step in the high road which leads to liti- 
gation, war and murder. Thus it is, as I have 
already told you, that 4 He that hateth his brother 
is a murderer.' 

1 have heard a father — for he hath the name of 
parent, though he little deserved it — gravely con- 
tend that there was no such thing as avoiding 
•quarrels and lawsuits. He thought there was one 
thing, however, which might prevent them, which 
was to take the litigious individual and 'tar and 
feather' him without ceremony. How often is it 
true that mankind little know 'what manner of 
spirit they are of;' and to how many of us will 
this striking reproof of the Saviour apply! 



156 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Getting a ' good bargain.' The Mohammedans. Lesson from them* 

Multitudes of men have been m active business 
during a long life, and yet avoided every thing in 
the shape of a lawsuit. ' What man has done ? man 
may do ; ' in this respect, at the least. 



Section XVIII. On Hard Dealing. 

Few things are more common among business- 
doing men, than hard dealing; yet few things re- 
flect more dishonor on a Christian community. It 
seems, in general, to be regarded as morally right, 
— in defiance of all rules, whether golden or not, — 
to get as ' good a bargain ' in trade r as possible ; 
and this is defended as unavoidable, on account of 
the state of society ! But what produced this state of 
society ? Was it not the spirit of avarice ? What 
will change it for the better? Nothing but the re- 
nunciation of this spirit, and a willingness to sacri- 
fice, in this respect, for the public welfare. 

We are pagans in this matter, in spite of our pro- 
fessions. It would be profitable for us to take les- 
sons on this subject from the Mohammedans. They 
never have, it is said, but one price for an article? 
and to ask the meanest shopkeeper to lower his 
price, is to insult him. Would this were the only 
point, in which the Christian community are des- 
tined yet to learn even from Mohammedans. 

To ask one price and take another, or to offer 
one price and give another, besides being a loss of 
lime, is highly dishonorable to the parties. It is, 



ON HARD DEALING. 157 

One species of lying. On evils con ec ting themselves. 

in fact, a species of lying ; and it answers no one 
advantageous purpose, either to the buyer or seller. 
I hope that every young man will start in life with 
a resolution never to be hard in his dealings. 

'It is an evil which will correct itself;' say 
those who wish to avail themselves of its present 
advantages a little longer. But when and where 
did a general evil correct itself? When or where 
was an erroneous practice permanently removed, 
except by a change of public sentiment? And 
what has ever produced a change in the public sen- 
timent but the determination of individuals, or their 
combined action ? 

While on this topic, I will hazard the assertion — 
even at the risk of its being thought misplaced — 
that great effects are yet to be produced on public 
opinion, in this country, by associations of spirited 
and intelligent young men. I am not now speaking 
of associations for political purposes, though I am 
not sure that even these might not be usefully con- 
ducted ; but of associations for mutual improvement, 
and for the correction and elevation of the public 
morals. The "Boston Young Men's Society," 
afford a specimen of what maybe done in this way; 
and numerous associations of the kind have sprung 
up and are springing up in various parts of the 
country. Judiciously managed, they must inevit- 
ably do great good ; — though it should not be for- 
gotten that they may also be productive of immense 
evil. 

14 



CHAPTER 11L 

<&n Amusements ana finfculflences* 



Section I. On Gaming. 

Even Voltaire asserts that 'every gambler &, 
!ms been, or will be a robber.' Few practices are 
more ancient, few more general, and few, if any, 
more pernicious than gaming. An English writer 
has ingeniously suggested that the Devil himself 
might have been the first player, and that he con- 
trived the plan of introducing games among men, 
to afford them temporary amusement, and divert 
their attention from themselves. 'What number- 
less disciples,' he adds, 'of his sable majesty, might 
we not count in our own metropolis! ' 

Whether his satanic majesty has any very direct 
agency in this matter or not, one thing is certain ; — 
gaming is opposed to the happiness of mankind, 
and ought, in every civilized country, to be sup- 
pressed by public opinion. By gaming, however, I 
here refer to those cases only in which property is 
at stake, to be won or lost. The subject of diver- 
sions will be considered in another place. 

Gaming is an evil, because, in the first place, it is 



ON GAMING. 159 



Gamesters are not producers. Evils of earning. 

a practice which produces nothing. He who makes 
two blades of grass grow where but one grew be- 
fore, has usually been admitted to be a public 
benefactor; for he is a producer. So is he who 
combines or arranges these productions in a useful 
manner,- — I mean the mechanic, manufacturer, &e. 
He is equally a public benefactor, too, who pro- 
duces mental or moral wealth, as well as physical. 
In gaming, it is true, property is shifted from one 
individual to another, and here and there one 
probably gains more than he loses; but nothing is 
actually viade, or produced. If the whole human 
family were all skilful gamesters, and should play 
constantly for a year, there would not be a dollar 
more in the world at the end of the year, than 
there was at its commencement. On the contrary, is 
it not obvious that there would be much /ess, besides 
even an immense loss of time ? * 

But, secondly, gaming favors corruption of man- 
ners. It is difficult to trace the progress of the 
gamester's mind, from the time he commences his 
downward course, but we know too well the goal 
at which he is destined to arrive. There may be 
exceptions, but not many ; generally speaking, 

* Every man who enjoys the privileges of civilized 
society, owes it to that society to earn as much as he can; 
or, in other words, improve every minute of his time. He 
who loses an hour, or a minute, is the price of that hour 
debtor to the community. Moreover, it is a debt which he 
can never repay. 



160 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Gaming opposed to industry. The philosophers, Locke's opinion. 

every gamester, sooner or later travels the road to 
perdition, and often adds to his own wo, by drag- 
ging others along with him. 

Thirdly, it discourages industry. He who is ac- 
customed to receive large sums at once, which bear 
no sort of proportion to the labor by which they are 
obtained, will gradually come to regard the moderate 
but constant and certain rewards of industrious 
exertion as insipid. He is also in danger of falling 
into the habit of paying an undue regard to hazard 
or chance, and of becoming devoted to the doctrine 
of fatality. 

As to the few who are skilful enough to gain 
more, on the whole, than they lose, scarcely one 
of them pays any regard to prudence or economy 
in his expenditures. What is thus lightly acquired, 
is lightly disposed of. Or if, in one instance in a 
thousand, it happens otherwise, the result is still 
unfavorable. It is but to make the miser still more 
a miser, and the covetous only the more so. Man is 
so constituted as to be unable to bear, with safety, a 
rapid accumulation of property. To the truth of 
this, all history attests, whether ancient or modern, 
sacred or profane. 

The famous philosopher Locke, in his < Thoughts 
on Education,' thus observes: 'It is certain, gam- 
ing leaves no satisfaction behind it to those who 
reflect when it is over ; and it no way profits either 
body or mind. As to their estates, if it strike so 
deep as to concern them, it is a trade then, and not 



ON GAMING. 161 



Criminality of gaming. A voice of experience. The army. 

a recreation, wherein few thrive ; and at best a 
thriving gamester has but a poor trade of it, who 
fills his pockets at the price of his reputation .' 

In regard to the criminality of the practice, a 
late writer has the following striking remarks. 

'As to gaming, it is always criminal, either in 
itself or in its tendency. The basis of it is covet- 
ousness; a desire to take from others something 
for which you have neither given, nor intend to 
give an equivalent. No gambler was ever yet a 
happy man, and few gamblers have escaped being 
positively miserable. Remember, too, that to game 
for nothing is still gaming ; and naturally leads to 
gaming for something. It is sacrificing time, and 
that, too, for the worst of purposes. 

'I have kept house for nearly forty years ; I 
have reared a family ; I have entertained as many 
friends as most people ; and I never had cards, 
dice, a chess board, nor any implement of gaming 
under my roof. The hours that young men spend 
in this way, are hours murdered ; precious hours 
that ought to be spent either in reading or in writ- 
ing ; or in rest ; preparatory to the duties of the 
dawn. 

'Though I do not agree with those base flat- 
terers who declare the army to be the best school 
for statesmen, it is certainly a school in which we 
learn, experimentally, many useful lessons ; and in 
this school I learned that men fond of gaming, are 
rarely, if ever, trust- worthy. I have known many 



162 

Mistake of professing Christians. Evil tendency of this vice. 

a decent man rejected in the way of promotion, 
only because he was addicted to gaming. Men, in 
that state of life, cannot ruin themselves by gam- 
ing, for they possess no fortune, nor money ; but 
the taste for gaming is always regarded as an in- 
dication of a radically bad disposition ; and I can 
truly say that I never in my whole life — and it 
has been a long and eventful one — knew a man 
fond of gaming, who was not, in some way or other, 
unworthy of confidence. This vice creeps on by 
very slow degrees, till, at last, it becomes an un- 
governable passion, swallowing up every good and 
kind feeling of the heart.' 

For my own part I know not the names of cards ; 
and could never take interest enough in card-play- 
ing to remember them. I have always wondered 
how sober and intelligent people, who have con- 
sciences, and believe the doctrine of accountability 
to God — how professing Christians even, as is the 
case in some parts of this country, can sit whole 
evenings at. cards. Why, what notions have they 
of the value of time ? Can they conceive of Him, 
whose example we are bound to follow, as engaged 
in this way ? The thought should shock us ! What 
a Herculean task Christianity has yet to accom- 
plish ! 

The excess of this vice has caused even the 
overthrow of empires. It leads to conspiracies, 
and creates conspirators. Men overwhelmed with 
debt, are always ready to obey the orders of any 



ON GAMING. 1G3 



Examples from history. Rome. France. England. 

bold chieftain who may attempt a decisive stroke, 
even against government itself. Catiline had very 
soon under his command an army of scoundrels. 
'Every man,' says Sallust, 'who by bis follies or 
losses at the gaming table had consumed the in- 
heritance of his fathers, and all who were suffer- 
ers by such misery, were the friends of this per- 
verse man.' 

Perhaps this vice has nowhere been carried to 
greater excess than in France. There it has its 
administration, its chief, its stockholders, its offi- 
cers, and its priests. It has its domestics, its 
pimps, its spies, its informers, its assassins, its bul- 
lies, its aiders, its abettors, — in fact, its scoundrels 
of every description ; particularly its hireling swind- 
lers, who are paid for decoying the unwary into 
this 'hell upon earth,' so odious to morality, and so 
destructive to virtue and Christianity. 

In England, this vice has at all times been look- 
ed upon as one of pernicious consequence to the 
commonwealth, and has, therefore, long been pro- 
hibited. The money lost in this way, is even re- 
coverable again by law. Some of the laws on this 
subject were enacted as early as the time of Queen 
Anne, and not a few of the penalties are very 
severe. Every species of gambling is strictly for- 
bidden in the British army, and occasionally pun- 
ished with great severity, by order of the comman- 
der in chief. These facts show the state of public 



J 64 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Alarming facts. The alms-house and prison. Anecdote. 

opinion in that country, in regard to the evil ten- 
dency of this practice. 

Men of immense wealth have, in some, instances, 
entered gambling houses, and in the short space of 
an hour have found themselves reduced to abso- 
lute beggary. ' Such men often lose not only what 
their purses or their bankers can supply, but 
houses, lands, equipage, jewels; in fine, every 
thing of which they call themselves masters, even 
to their very clothes; then perhaps a pistol termi- 
nates their mortal career.' 

Fifteen hours a day are devoted by many infat- 
uated persons in some countries to this unhappy 
practice. In the middle of the day, while the wife 
directs with prudence and economy the adminis- 
tration of her husband's house, he abandons him- 
self to become the prey of rapacious midnight and 
mid-day robbers. The result is, that he contracts 
debts, is stripped of his property, and his wife and 
children are sent to the alms-house, whilst he, per- 
haps, perishes in a prison. 

My life has been chiefly spent in a situation 
where comparatively little of this vice prevails. 
Yet, I have known one individual who divided his 
time between hunting and gaming. About four 
days in the week were regularly devoted to the 
latter practice. From breakfast to dinner, from 
dinner to tea, from tea to nine o'clock, this was 
his regular employment, and was pursued inces- 



ON GAMING. 1G5 



Night usually devoted to gaming. A horrih'e alliance. 

santly. The man was about seventy years of age. 
He did not play for very large sums, it is true; 
seldom more than five to twenty dollars ; and it 
was his uniform practice to retire precisely at nine 
o'clock, and without supper. 

Generally, however, the night is more especially 
devoted to this employment. I have occasionally 
been at public houses, or on board vessels where 
a company was playing, and have known many 
hundreds of dollars lost in a single night. In one 
instance, the most horrid midnight oaths and blas- 
phemy were indulged. Besides, there is an almost 
direct connection between the gambling table and 
brothel ; and the one is seldom long unaccompa- 
nied by the other. 

Scarcely less obvious and direct k the connec- 
tion between this vice and intemperance. If the 
drunkard is not always a gamester, the gamester is 
almost without exception intemperate. There is 
for the most part a union of the three — horrible as 
the alliance maybe — I mean gambling, intemper- 
ance, and debauchery. 

There is even a species of intoxication attendant 
on gambling. Rede, in speaking of one form of 
this vice which prevails in Europe, says ; ' It is, in 
fact, a prompt murderer; irregular as all other 
games of hazard — rapid as lightning in its move- 
ments — its strokes succeed each other with an 
activity that redoubles the ardor of the player's 
blood, and often deprives him of the advantage of 



166 THE YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 

One form of slavery. Burgh's opinion. Avoid the first steps. 

reflection. In fact, a man after half an hour's 
play, who for the whole night may not have taken 
any thing stronger than water, has all the appear- 
ance of drunkenness.' And who has not seen the 
flushed cheek and the red eye, produced simply by 
the excitement of an ordinary gaming table? 

It is an additional proof of the evil of gaming 
that every person devoted to it, feds it to be an evil. 
Why then does he not refrain ? Because he has 
sold himself a slave to the deadly habit, as effectu- 
ally as the drunkard to his cups. 

Burgh, in his Dignity of Human Nature, sums 
up the evils of this practice in a single paragraph: 

' Gaming is an amusement wholly unworthy of 
rational beings, having neither the pretence of ex- 
ercising the body, of exerting ingenuity, or of 
giving any natural pleasure, and owing its enter- 
tainment wholly to an unnatural and vitiated taste ; 
— the cause of infinite loss of time, of enormous 
destruction of money, of irritating the passions, of 
stirring up avarice, of innumerable sneaking tricks 
and frauds, of encouraging idleness, of disgusting 
people against their proper employments, and of 
sinking and debasing all that is truly great and 
valuable in the mind.' 

Let me warn you, then, my young readers, — 
nay, more, let me urge you never to enter this 
dreadful road. Shun it as you would the road to 
destruction. Take not the first step, — the moment 
you do, all may be lost. Say not that you can 



ON GAMING. 167 



I>r D wight's remarks. Reader urged to reflect. Montesquieu. 

command yourselves, and can stop when you ap- 
proach the confines of danger. So thousands have 
thought as sincerely as yourselves — and yet they 
felL ' The probabilities that we shall fall where so 
many have fallen,' says Dr. Dwight, 'are millions 
to one ; and the contrary opinion is only the dream 
of lunacy.' 

When you are inclined to think yourselves safe, 
consider the multitudes who once felt themselves 
equally so, have been corrupted, distressed, and 
ruined by gaming, both for this world, and that 
which is to come. Think how many families have 
been plunged by it in beggaiy, and overwhelmed 
by it in vice. Think how many persons have be- 
come liars at the gaming table ; how many per- 
jured ; how many drunkards ; how many blasphe- 
mers; how many suicides. 'If Europe,' said Mon- 
tesquieu, 'is to be ruined, it will be ruined by 
gaming.' If the United States are to be ruined, 
gaming in some of its forms will be a very efficient 
agent in accomplishing the work. 

Some of the most common games practised in 
this country, are cards, dice, billiards, shooting 
matches, and last, though not least, lotteries. Horse- 
racing and cockfighting are still in use in some 
parts of the United States, though less so than for- 
merly. In addition to the general remarks already 
made, 1 now proceed to notice a few of the par- 
ticular forms of this vice. 



168 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Card playing. Its enticing nature. Disgraceful practice. 



1. CARDS, DICE, AND BILLIARDS. 

The foregoing remarks will be applicable to each 
of these three modes of gambling. But in regard 
to cards, there seems to be something peculiarly 
enticing. It is on this account that youth are re- 
quired to be doubly cautious on this point. So be- 
witching were cards and dice regarded in England, 
that penalties were laid on those who should be 
found playing with them, as early as the reign of 
George IL Card playing, however, still prevails 
in Europe, and to a considerable extent in the 
United States. There is a very common impres- 
sion abroad, that the mere playing at cards is in 
itself innocent: that the danger consisrs in the ten- 
dency to excess; and against excess most people 
imagine themselves sufficiently secure. But as 4 the 
best throw at dice, is to throw them away,' so the 
best move with cards would be, to commit them to 
the flames. 

2. SHOOTING MATCHES. 

This is a disgraceful practice, which was former- 
ly in extensive use in these States at particular 
seasons, especially on the day preceding the annual 
Thanksgiving. I am sorry to say, that there are 
places where it prevails, even now. Numbers who 
have nothing better to do, collect together, near 
some tavern or grog-shop, for the sole purpose of 



SHOOTING MATCHES. L69 



Cruelty of shooting matches. They lead to many other evils. 

trying their skill at shooting fowls. Tied to a 
stake at a short distance, a poor innocent and help- 
less fowl is set as a mark to furnish sport for idle 
men and boys. 

Could the creature be put out of its misery by 
the first discharge of the musket, the evil would 
not appear so great. Bj it this is seldom the case. 
Several discharges are usually made, and between 
each, a running, shouting and jumping of the com- 
pany takes place, not unfrequently mingled with 
oaths and curses. 

The object of this infernal torture being at length 
despatched, and suspended on the muzzle of the 
gun as a troph} r of victory, a rush is made to the 
bar or counter, and brandy and rum, accompanied 
by lewd stories, and perha}>s quarrelling and drunk- 
enness, often close the scene. 

It rarely fails that a number of children are as- 
sembled on such occasions, who listen with high 
glee to the conversation, whether in the field or at 
the inn. If it be the grossest profaneness, or the 
coarsest obscenity, they will sometimes pride them- 
selves in imitating it, thinking it to be manly ; and in 
a like spirit will partake of the glass, and thus com- 
mence the drunkard's career. — This practice is 
conducted somewhat differently in different places, 
but not essentially so. 

It is much to the credit of the citizens of many 
parts of New England that their good sense will 
not, any longer, tolerate a practice so brutal, and 
15 



170 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Substitute for the fowl. Racing and fighting. Montaigne. 

scarcely exceeded in this respect by the cock- 
fights in other parts of the country. As a substi- 
tute for this practice a circle is drawn on a board 
or post, of a certain size, and he who can hit with- 
in the circle, gains the fowl. This is still a species 
of gaming, but is divested of much of the ferocity 
and brutality of the former. 



3. HORSERACING AND COCKFIGHTING. 

It is only in particular sections of the United 
States that public opinion tolerates those practices 
extensively. A horserace, in New England, is a 
very rare occurrence. A cockfight, few among us 
have ever witnessed. Wherever the cruel dispo- 
sition to indulge in seeing animals fight together 
is allowed, it is equally degrading to human na- 
ture with that fondness which is manifested in 
other countries for witnessing a bull fight. It is 
indeed the same disposition, only existing in a 
smaller degree in the former case than in the 
latter. 

Montaigne thinks it a reflection upon human 
nature itself that few people take delight in seeing 
beasts caress and play together, while almost every 
one is pleased to see them lacerate ana worry one 
another. 

Should your lot be cast in a region where any 
of these inhuman practices prevail, let it be your 
constant and firm endeavor, not merely to keep 



ON LETTERS. 171 



Disgraceful scene near Philadelphia. Another kind of gambling, 

aloof from them yourselves, but to prevail on all 
those over whom God may have given you influ- 
ence, to avoid them likewise. To enable you to 
face the public opinion when a point of importance 
is at stake, it wiil be useful to consult carefully the 
first chapter of this work. 

I am sorry to have it in my power to state that in 
the year 1833 there was a bullfight four miles 
southward of Philadelphia. It was attended by 
about 1500 persons ; mostly of the very lowest 
classes from the city. It was marked by many of 
the same evils which attend these cruel sports in 
other countries, and by the same reckless disregard 
of mercy towards the poor brutes who suffered in 
the conflict. It is to be hoped, however, for the 
honor of human nature, that the good sense of the 
community will not permit this detestable custom 
to prevail. 

Section II. On Lotteries. 

Lotteries are a species of gambling; differing 
from other kinds only in being tolerated either by 
the law of the land, or by that of public opinion. 
The proofs of this asseition are innumerable. Not 
only young men, but even married women have 
in some instances, become so addicted to ticket 
buying, as to ruin themselves and their families. 

From the fact that efforts have lately been made 
in several of the most influential States in the 



172 

Lottery system public gambling. Flimsy defence oflF. 

Union to suppress them, it might seem unnecessary, 
at first view, to mention this subject. But although 
the letter of the law may oppose them, there is a 
portion of our citizens who will continue to buy 
tickets clandestinely ; and consequently somebody 
will continue to sell them in the same manner. 
Penalties will not suppress them at once. It will 
be many years before the evil can be wholly eradi- 
cated. The flood does not cease at the moment 
when the windows of heaven are closed, but con- 
tinues, for some time, its ravages. It is necessary, 
therefore, that the young should guard themselves 
against the temptations which they hold out. 

It may be said that important works, such as 
monuments, and churches, have been completed by 
means of lotteries. I know it is so. But the pro- 
fits which arise from the sale of tickets are a tax 
upon the community, and generally upon the poorer 
classes: or rather they are a species of swindling. 
That good is sometimes done with these ill-gotten 
gains, is admitted ; but money procured in any 
other unlawful, immoral, or criminal way, could 
be applied to build bridges, roads, churches, &c. 
Would the advantages thus secured, however, jus- 
tify an unlawful means of securing them ? Does 
the end sanctify the means? 

It is said, too, that individuals, as well as asso- 
ciations, have been, in a few instances, greatly 
aided by prizes in lotteries. Some bankrupts have 
paid their debts, like honest men, with them. This 



ON LOTTERIES. 173 



Prizes do not benefit those who draw them. Estimates. 

they might do with stolen money. But cases of 
even this kind, are rare. The far greater part of 
the money drawn in the form of prizes in lotteries, 
only makes its possessor more avaricious, covetous, 
or oppressive than before. Money obtained in this 
manner commonly ruins mind, body, or estate; 
sometimes all three. 

Lottery schemes have been issued in the single 
State of New York, in twelve years, to the amount 
of $ 37,000,000. If other States have engaged in the 
business, in the same proportion to their population, 
the sum of all the schemes issued in the United 
States within that time has been $240,000,000. A 
sum sufficient to maintain in comfort, if not afflu- 
ence, the entire population of some of the smaller 
Slates for more than thirty years. 

Now what has been gained by all this? It is 
indeed true, that the discount on this sum, amount- 
ing to $36,000,000, has been expended in paying 
a set of men for one species of labor. If we sup- 
pose their average salary to have been $ 500, no less 
than 6,000 clerks, managers, &c, may have obtain- 
ed by this means, a support during the last twelve 
years. But what have the 6,000 men produced all 
this while? Has not their whole time been speut 
in receiving small sums (from five to fifty dollars) 
from individuals, putting them together, as it were, 
in a heap, and afterwards distributing a part of it 
in sums, with a few exceptions, equally small? — 
Have they added one dollar, or even one cent to the 



174 THE YOUNG Man's GUIDE. 

Effects on individuals. On the community. Their evil tendency, 

original stock? I have already admitted, that he 
who makes two blades of grass grow where only 
one grew before, is a benefactor to his country; 
but these men have not done so much as that. 

A few draw prizes, it has been admitted. Some 
of that few make a good use of them. But the 
vast majority are injured. They either become 
less active and industrious, or more parsimonious 
and miserly; and not a few become prodigals or 
bankrupts at once. In any of these events, they 
are of course unfitted for the essential purposes of 
human existence. It is not given to humanity to 
bear a sudden acquisition of wealth. The best of 
men are endangered by it. As in knowledge, so 
in the present case, what is gained by hard dig- 
ging is usually retained ; and what is gained easily 
usually goes quickly. There is this difference, 
however, that the moral character is usually lost 
with the one, but not always with the other. 

These are a part of the evils connected with lot- 
teries. To compute their sum total would lie im- 
possible. The immense waste of money and time 
(and time is money) by those persons who are in 
the habit of buying tickets, to say nothing of the 
cigars smoked, the spirits, wine, and ale drank, the 
supp°rs eaten, and the money lost at cards, while 
lounging about lottery offices, although even this 
constitutes but a part of the waste, is absolutely in- 
calculable. The suffering of wives, and children, 
and parents, and brothers, and sisters, together with 



ON LOTTERIES. 175 



Appeal to the young. Influence which one person may have*. 

that loss of health, and temper, and reputation, 
which is either directly or indirectly connected, 
would swell the sum to an amount sufficient to 
alarm every one, who intends to be an honest, in- 
dustrious, and respectable citizen, 

It is yours, my young friends, to put a stop to 
this tremendous evil. It is your duty, and it should 
be your pleasure, to give that tone to the public sen- 
timent, without which, in governments like this, 
written laws are powerless. 

Do not say that tire influence of one person can- 
not effect much. Remember that the power of 
example is almost omnipotent In debating whe- 
ther you may not venture to buy one more ticket, 
remember that if you do so, you adopt a course 
which, if taken by every other individual in the 
United States (and who out of thirteen millions has 
not the same right as yourself?) would give abun- 
dant support to the whole lottery system, with all its 
horrors. And could you in that case remain guilt- 
less? Can the fountains of such a sickly stream 
be pure ? You would not surely condemn the 
waters of a mighty river while you were one of a 
company engaged in filling the springs and rills 
that unite to form it. Remember that just in pro- 
portion as you contribute, by your example, to dis- 
courage this species of gambling, just in the same 
proportion will you contribute to stay the progress 
■of a tremendous scourge, and to enforce the exe- 
cution of good and salutary laws. 



176 

Effects of theatres on health. Testimony on the subject 

With this pernicious practice, I have always been 
decidedly at war. I believe the system to be whol- 
iy wrong, and that those who countenance it, in 
any way whatever, are wholly inexcusable. 

Section III. On Theatres, 

Much is said by the friends of theatres about 
what they might be ; and not a few persons indulge 
the hope that the theatre may yet be made a school 
of morality. But my business at present is with it 
as it is, and as it has hitherto been. The reader 
will be more benefited by existing facts than san- 
guine anticipations, or visionary predictions. 

A German medical writer calculates that one in 
150 of those who frequently attend theatres become 
diseased and die, from the impurity of the atmos- 
phere. The reason is, that respiration contami- 
nates the air; and where large assemblies are 
collected in close rooms, the air is corrupted much 
more rapidly than many are aware. Lavoisier, the 
French chemist, states, that in a theatre, from the 
commencement to the end of the play, the oxygera 
or vital air is diminished in the proportion of from 
27 to 21, or nearly one fourth ; and consequently 
is in the same proportion less fit for respiration, 
than it was before. This is probably the general 
truth ; but the number of persons present, and the 
amount of space, must determine, in a great meas- 
ure, the rapidity with which the air is corrupted* 



ON THEATRES. 177 



Diseases produced by attending theatres. Theireffects on morals. 

The pit is the most unhealthy part of a play-house, 
because the carbonic acid which is formed by res- 
piration is heavier than atmospheric air, and ac- 
cumulates near the floor. 

It is painful to look round on a gay audience 
of 1500 persons, and consider that ten of this num- 
ber will die in consequence of breathing the bad 
air of the room so frequently, and so long. But I 
believe this estimate is quite within bounds. 

There are however other results to be dreaded. 
The practice of going out of a heated, as well as an 
impure atmosphere late in the evening, and often 
without sufficient clothing, exposes the individual 
to cold, rheumatism, pleurisy, and fever. Many a 
young lady, — and, I fear, not a few young gentle- 
men, — get the consumption by taking colds in 
this manner. 

Not only the health of the body, but the mine! 
and morals, too, are often injured. Dr. Griscom, 
of New York, in a report on the causes of vice and 
crime in that city, made a few years since, says; 
* Among the causes of vicious excitement in our 
city, none appear to be so powerful in their nature 
as theatrical amusements. The number of boys 
and young men who have become determined 
thieves, in order to procure the means of introduc- 
tion to the theatres and circuses, would appal the 
feelings of every virtuous mind, could the whole 
truth be laid open before them. 

* In the case of the feebler sex, the result is still 



178 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Theatres during the French revolution. Views of Plato and others.,. 



worse. A relish for the amusements of the theatre* 
without the means of indulgence, becomes too 
often a motive for listening to the first suggestion 
of the seducer, and thus prepares the unfortunate 
captive of sensuality for the haunts of infamy, and 
a total destitution of all that is valuable in the miud 
and character of woman.' 

The following fact is worthy of being consider- 
ed by the friends and patrons of theatres. During 
the progress of one of the most ferocious revolu- 
tions which ever shocked the face of heaven, thea- 
tres, in Paris alone, multiplied from six to twenty- 
five. Now one of two conclusions follow from 
this: Either the spirit of the times produced the 
institutions, or the institutions cherished the spirit 
of the times; and this will certainly prove that they 
are either the parents of vice or the offspring of it. 

The philosopher Plato assures us, that 'plays 
raise the passions, and prevent the use of them; 
and of course are dangerous to morality.' 

'The seeing ot Comedies? says Aristotle, 'ought 
to be forbidden to young people, till age and disci- 
pline have made them proof against debauchery.' 

Tacitus says, ' The German women were guard- 
ed against danger, and preserved their purity by 
having no play-houses among them.' 

Even Ovid represents theatrical amusements as 
a grand source of corruption, and he advised Au- 
gustus to suppress them. 

The infidel philosopher Rousseau, declared him- 



ON THEATRES. 179 



•Opinions o 1 ' Hawkins, Tillotson, Co! ier, Hale and Bur«h. 

self to be of opinion, that the theatre is, in all 
irases, a school of vice. Though he had himself 
written for the stage, yet, when it was proposed to 
establish a theatre in the city of Geneva, he wrote 
against the project with zeal and great force, and 
expressed the opinion that every friend of pure 
morals ought to oppose it. 

Sir John Hawkins, in his life of Johnson, ob- 
serves:- — 'Although it is said of plays that they 
teach morality- and of the stage that it is the mir- 
ror of human life, these assertions are mere decla- 
mation, and have no foundation in truth or expe- 
rience. On the contrary, a play-house, and the 
regions about it, are the very hot-beds of vice*' 

Archbishop Tillotson, after some pointed and 
forcible reasoning against it, pronounces the play- 
house to be 'the devil's chapel,' 'a nursery of li- 
centiousness and vice,' and 'a recreation which 
ought not to be allowed among a civilized, much 
less a Christian people.' 

Bishop Collier solemnly declared, that he was 
persuaded that 'nothing had done more to debauch 
the age in which he lived, than the stage poets and 
the play-house.' 

Sir Matthew Hale, having in early life experi- 
enced the pernicious effects of attending the thea- 
tre, resolved, when he came to London, never to 
see a play again, and to this resolution he adhered 
through life. 

Burgh says ; ' What does it avail that the piece 



180 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE, 

Johnson and Lord Kairnes. Young man in New York, 

itself be unexceptionable, if it is to be interlarded 
with lewd songs or dances, and tagged at the con- 
clusion with a ludicrous and beastly farce ? I 
cannot therefore, in conscience, give youth any 
other advice than to avoid such diversions as can- 
not be indulged without the utmost danger of per- 
verting their taste, and corrupting their morals. 7 

Dr. Johnson's testimony on this subject is nearly 
as pointed as that of Archbishop Tillotson ; and 
Lord Kaimes speaks with much emphasis of the 
'poisonous influence,' of theatres. 

Their evil tendency is seldom better illustrated 
than by the following anecdote, from an individual 
in New York, on whose statements we may place 
the fullest reliance. 

1 F. B. a young man of about twenty-two, called on 
the writer in the fall of 1831 for employment. He 
was a journeyman printer ; was recently from Ken- 
tucky ; and owing to his want of employment, as 
he said, was entirely destitute, not only of the com- 
forts, but the necessaries of life. I immediately 
procured him a respectable boarding house, gave 
him employment, and rendered his situation as 
comfortable as my limited means would permit. 

4 He had not been with me long, before he ex- 
pressed a desire to go to the theatre. Some great 
actor was to perform on a certain night, and he 
was very anxious to see him. I warned him of the 
consequences, and told him, my own experience 
and observation had convinced me that it was a 



ON THEATRES. 181 



The young man's history continued. His desertion from *he army. 

very dangerous place for young men to visit. But 
my warning did no good. He neglected his busi- 
ness, and went. I reproved him gently, but re- 
tained him in my employment. He continued to 
go, notwithstanding all my remonstrances to the 
contrary. At length my business suffered so much 
from his neglecting to attend to it as he ought, that 
I was under the necessity of discharging him in 
self-defence. He got temporary employment in 
different offices of the city, where the same fault 
was found with him. Immediately after, he ac- 
cepted a situation of bar -keeper in a porter house 
or tavern attached to the theatre. His situation he 
did not hold long — from what cause, I know not. 

'He again applied to me for work; but as his 
habits were not reformed, I did not think it pru- 
dent to employ him, although I said or did nothing 
to injure him in the estimation of others. Disap- 
pointed in procuring employment in a business to 
which he had served a regular apprenticeship, 
being pennyless, and seeing no bright prospect for 
the future, he enlisted as a common soldier in the 
United States' service. 

* He had not been in his new vocation long, be- 
fore he was called upon, with other troops, to de- 
fend our citizens from the attacks of the Indians. 
But. when the troops had nearly reached their place 
of destination, that 'invisible scourge,' the cholera, 
made its appearance among them. Desertion was 
the consequence, and among others who fled, was 
the subject of this article* 16 



182 THE YOUNG MAn's GUIDE. 



His final fate. Reflections. Theatres not a new thing. 

'He returned to New York — made application 
at several different offices for employment, without 
success. In a few days news came that he had 
been detected in pilfering goods from the house of 
his landlord. A warrant was immediately issued 
for him — he was seized, taken to the police office 
— convicted, and sentenced to six months' hard 
labor in the penitentiary. His name being publish- 
ed in the newspapers, in connection with those of 
other couvicts — was immediately recognised by 
the officer under whom he had enlisted. — This 
officer proceeds to the city — claims the prisoner — 
and it is at length agreed that he shall return to the 
United States' service, where he shall, for the first 
six months, be compelled to roll sand as a punish- 
ment for desertion, serve out the five years for 
which he had enlisted, and then be given up to the 
city authorities, to suffer for the crime of pilfering. 

4 It is thus that we see a young man, of good 
natural abilities, scarcely twenty -three years of age, 
compelled to lose six of the most valuable years 
of his life, besides ruining a fair reputation, and 
bringing disgrace upon his parents and friends, 
from the apparently harmless desire of seeing dra- 
matic performances. Ought not this to be a warn- 
ing to others, who are travelling on, imperceptibly 
in the same road to ruin ? ' 

Theatres are of ancient date. One built of wood, 
in the time of Cicero and Caesar, would contain 



SMOKING TOBACCO. 183 



Their origin. Female players. Theatres in France. 

80,000 persons. The first stone theatre in Rome, 
was built by Pompey, and would contain 40.000. 
There are one or two in Europe, at the present time, 
that will accommodate 4000 or 5000. 

In England, until 1660, public opinion did not 
permit ye /?*<z/es to perform in theatres, but the parts 
were peilormed by boys. 

If theatres have a reforming tendency, this result 
might have been expected in France, where they 
have so long been popular and flourishing. In 1807, 
there were in France 166 theatres, and 31)68 per- 
formers. In 1832 there were in Paris aione 17, 
which could accommodate 21.000 persons. But we 
do not find that they reformed the Parisians; and 
it is reasonable to expect they never will. 

Let young men remember, that in this, as well 
as in many other things, there is only one point of 
security, viz. total abstinence. 

Section IV. Use of Tobacco* 

1. SMOKING. 

Smoking has every where, in Europe and Ame- 
rica, become a tremendous evil ; and if we except 
Holland and Germany, nowhere more so than in 
this country. Indeed we are already fast treading 
in the steps of those countries, and the following 
vivid description of the miseries which this filthy 
practice entails on the Germans will soon be quite 
applicable to the people of the United States, unless 



184 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Use of tobacco in Germany. In the United States. 

we can induce the rising generation to turn the cur- 
rent of public opinion against it. 

'This plague, like the Egyptian plague of frogs, 
is felt every where, and in every thing. It poisons 
the streets, the clubs, and the coffee-houses; — fur- 
niture, clothes, equipage, persons, are redolent of 
the abomination. It makes even the dulness of the 
newspapers doubly narcotic : every eatable and 
drinkable, all that can be seen, felt, heard or un- 
derstood, is saturated with tobacco; — the very air 
we breathe is but a conveyance for this poison 
into the lungs; and every man, woman, and child, 
rapidly acquires the complexion of a boiled chicken. 
From the hour of their waking, if nine-tenths of 
their population can be said to awake at all, to the 
Jioui of their lying down, the pipe is never out of 
their mouths. One mighty fumigation reigns, and 
human nature is smoked dry by tens of thousands 
of square miles. The German physiologists com- 
pute, that of 20 deaths, between eighteen and thirty- 
five years, 10 originate in the waste of the consti- 
tution by smoking. 9 

This is indeed a horrid picture ; but when it is 
considered that the best estimates which can be 
made concur in showing that tobacco, to the amount 
of $ 16,000,000, is consumed in the United States 
annually, and that by far the greater part of this is 
in smoking cigars, there is certainly room for gloomy 
apprehensions. What though we do not use the 
dirty pipe of the Dutch and Germans? If we only 



SMOKING TOBACCO. 185 

Indecency of smoking. Parental example. Tobacco poisonous. 

use the tobacco, the mischief is effectually accom- 
plished. Perhaps it were even better that we should 
lay out a part of our money for pipes, than to spend 
the whole for tobacco. 

Smoking is indecent, filthy, and rude, and to many 
individuals highly offensive. When first introduc- 
ed into Europe, in the 16th century, its use was 
prohibited under very severe penalties, which in 
some countries amounted even to cutting off the 
nose. And how much better is the practice of vo- 
luntarily burning up our noses, by making a chim- 
ney of them ? 1 am happy, however, in being 
able to state, that this unpardonable practice is now 
abandoned in many of the fashionable societies in 
Europe. 

There is one remarkable fact to be observed in 
speaking on this subject. No parent ever teaches 
his child the use of tobacco, or even encourages it, 
except by his example. Thus the smoker virtually 
condemns himself in the very ' thing which he 
allowed).' It is not precisely so in the case of 
spirits; for many parents directly encourage the 
use of that. 

Tobacco is one of the most powerful poisons in 
nature. Even the physician, some of whose medi- 
cines are so active that a few grains, or a few drops, 
will destroy life at once, finds tobacco too power- 
ful for his use ; and in those cases where it is most 
clearly required, only makes it a last resort. Its 
daily use, in any form, deranges, and sometimes 



186 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Smoking injures the eyes. Produces other evils. Its expense. 

destroys the stomach and nerves, produces weak- 
ness, low spirits, dyspepsy, vertigo, and many other 
complaints. These are its more immediate effects. 

Its remoter effects are scarcely less dreadful. 
It dries the mouth and nostrils, and probably the 
brain; benumbs the senses of smell and taste, im- 
pairs the hearing, and ultimately the eye-sight. 
Germany, a smoking nation, is at the same time, a 
spectacled nation. More than all this; it dries the 
blood ; creates thirst and loss of appetite ; and in 
this and other ways, often lays the foundation of 
intemperance. In fact, not a few persons are made 
drunkards by this very means. Dr. Rush has a 
long chapter on this subject in one of his volumes, 
which is well worth your attention. In addition 
to all this, it has often been observed that in fevers 
and other diseases, medicines never operate well 
in constitutions which have been accustomed to 
the use of tobacco. 

Of the expense which the use of it involves, I 
have already spoken. Of the $ 16,000,000 thus 
expended, $ 9,000,000 are supposed to be for smok- 
ing Spanish cigars ; $ 6,500,000 for smoking Ame- 
rican tobacco, and for chewing it; and $500,000 
for snuff. 

Although many people of real intelligence be- 
come addicted to this practice, as is the case espe- 
cially among the learned in Germany, yet it cannot 
be denied that in general, those individuals and 
nations whose mental powers are the weakest, are 



SMOKING TOBACCO. 187 



Practices of savage nations. The Gypsies. Betel. 

(in proportion to their means of acquiring it) most 
enslaved to it. To be convinced of the truth of 
this remark, we have only to open our eyes to facts 
as they exist around us. 

All ignorant and savage nations indulge in extra- 
ordinary stimulants, (and tobacco among the rest,) 
whenever they have the means of obtaining them ; 
and in proportion to their degradation. Thus it is 
with the native tribes of North America; thus with 
the natives of Africa, Asia, and New Holland; 
thus with the Cretins and Gypsies. Zimmerman 
says, that the latter 'suspended their predatory ex- 
cursions, and on an appointed evening in every 
week, assemble to enjoy their guilty spoils in the 
fumes of strong waters and tobacco? Here they are 
represented as indulging in idle tales about the 
character and conduct of those around them; a 
statement which can very easily be believed by 
those who have watched the effects produced by 
the fumes of stimulating beverages much more 
'respectable' than spirits or tobacco smoke. 

The quantity which is used in civilized nations 
is almost incredibly great. England alone import- 
ed, in 1829, 22,400,000 lbs. of unmanufactured to- 
bacco. There is no narcotic plant — not even the 
tea plant — in such extensive use, unless it is the 
betel of India and the adjoining countries. This 
is the leaf of a climbing plant resembling ivy, but 
of the pepper tribe. The people of the east chew 
it so incessantly, and in such quantities, that their 



188 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

W hat s [ i ;i t i he done? die \ mi* tobacco. Excuses for it. 

lips become quite red, and their teeth black — 
showing that it has affected their whole systems. 
They carry it about them in boxes, and offer it to 
each other in compliment, as the Europeans do 
snuff; and it is considered uncivil and unkind to 
refuse to accept and chew it. This is done by the 
women as well as by the men. Were we dispos- 
ed, we might draw from this fact many important 
lessons on our own favored stimulants. 

In view of the great and growing evil of smok- 
ing, the practical question arises ; ' What shall be 
done?' The answer is — Render it unfashionable 
and disreputable. Do you ask, 'Hoiv is this to be 
accomplished ? ' Why, how has alcohol been ren- 
dered unpopular? Do you still say, 'One person 
alone cannot effect much?' But so might any 
person have said a few years ago, in regard to 
spirits. Individuals must commence the work of 
reformation in the one case, as well as in the other ; 
and success will then be equally certain. 

2. CHEWING. 

Many of the remarks already made apply with 
as much force to the use of tobacco in every form, 
as to the mere habit of smoking. But 1 have a few 
additional thoughts on chewing this plant. 

There are never wanting excuses for any thing 
which we feel strongly inclined to do. Thus a 
thousand little frivolous pleas are used for chew- 
ing tobacco. One man of reputed good sense told 



CHEWING TOBACCO. 189 



Does totncco preserve the teeth. Subject considered. 

me that his tohacco probably cost him nothing, for 
if he did not use it, he ' should be apt to spend as 
much worth of time in picking and eating summer 
fruits, as would pay for it.' Now J do not like the 
practice of eating even summer fruits between 
meals; but they are made to be eaten moderately, 
no doubt; and if people will not eat them with 
their food, it is generally a less evil to eat them 
between meals, than not at all. But the truth is, 
tobacco chewers never relish these things at any 
time. 

The only plea for chewing this noxious plant, 
which is entitled to a serious consideration is, that 
it tends to preserve the teeth. This is the strong 
bold of tobacco chewers — not, generally, when 
they commence the practice, but as soon as they 
find themselves slaves to it. 

Now the truth appears to be this: 

1. 'When a tooth is decayed in such a manner 
as to leave the nerve exposed, ttaf re is no doubt 
that the powerful stimulus of tobacco must g*eatly 
diminish its sensibility. But there are very many 
other substances, less poisonous, whose occasional 
application would accomplish the same result, and 
without deadening, at the same time, the sensibili- 
ties of the whole system, as tobacco does. 

2. The person who chews tobacco, generally 
puts a piece in his mouth immediately after eating. 
This is immediately moved from place to place, 
and not only performs, in some measure, the offices 



190 THE YOUNG Man's GUIDE. 



Evils of snuff taking. Chesterfield's opinion. 

of a brush and toothpick, but produces a sudden 
flow of saliva; and in consequence of both of these 
causes combined, the teeth are effectually cleansed; 
and cleanliness is undoubtedly one of the most 
effectual preventives of decay in teeth yet known. 
Yet there are far better means of cleansing the 
mouth and teeth after eating than by means of 
tobacco. 

If there be any other known reasons why tobac- 
co should preserve teeth, I am ignorant of them. 
There are then no arguments of any weight for 
using it; while there are a multitude of very strong 
reasons against it. I might add them, in this place, 
but it appears to me unnecessary. 

3. TAKING SNUFF. 

I have seen many individuals who would not, 
on any account whatever, use spirits, or chew to- 
bacco ; but who would not hesitate to dry up their 
nasal membranes, injure their speech, induce ca- 
tarrhal affections, and besmear their face, clothes, 
books, &c. with snuff. This, however common, 
appears to me ridiculous. Almost all the serious 
evils which result from smoking and chewing, fol- 
low the practice of snuffing powdered tobacco into 
the nose. Even Chesterfield opposes it, when after 
characterizing all use of tobacco or snuff, in any 
form, as both vulgar and filthy, he adds: 'Besides, 
snuff- takers are generally very dull and shallow peo- 
ple, and have recourse to it merely as a fillip to the 



TAKING SNUFF. 191 



Painfiil diseases produced by snufF Caking. Recreations. 

brain ; by all means, therefore, avoid the filthy cus- 
tom.' This censure, though rather severe, is equal- 
ly applicable to smoking and chewing. 

Naturalists say there is one species of maggot 
fly that mistakes the odor of some kinds of snuff 
for that of putrid substances, and deposits its eggs 
in it. In warm weather therefore, it must be dan- 
gerous to take snuff which has been exposed to 
these insects ; for the eggs sometimes hatch in. 
two hours, and the most tremendous consequences 
might follow. And it is not impossible that some 
of the most painful diseases to which the human 
race are liable, may have been occasionally produced 
by this or a similar cause. The 'tic douloureux' is 
an example. 

A very common disease in sheep is known to be 
produced by worms in cavities which communi- 
cate with the nose. Only a little acquaintance 
with the human structure would show that there 
are a number of cavities in the bones of the face 
and head, some of which will hold half an ounce 
each, which communicate with the nose, and into 
which substances received into this organ occasion- 
ally fall, but cannot escape as easily as they enter. 

Section V. Useful Recreations. 

The young, I shall be told, must and will have 
their recreations ; and if they are to be denied every 
species of gaming, what shall they do ? ' You 



192 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

.Recreations in the open air. Skating. Dancing. 

would not, surely, have them spend their leisure 
hours in gratifying the senses ; in eating, drinking, 
and licentiousness.' 

By no means. Recreations they must have; ac- 
tive recreation, too, in the open air. Some of the 
most appropriate are playing ball, quoits, ninepins, 
and other athletic exercises ; but in no case for 
money, or any similar consideration. Skating is a 
good exercise in its proper season, if followed 
with great caution. Dancing, for those who sit 
much, such as pupils in school, tailors and shoe- 
makers, would be an appropriate exercise, if it were 
not perpetually abused. By assembling in large 
crowds, continuing it late at evening, and then sally- 
ing out in a perspiration, into the cold or damp 
night air, a thousand times more mischief has been 
done, than all the benefit which it has afforded 
would balance. It were greatly to be wished that 
this exercise might be regulated by those rules 
which human experience has indicated, instead of 
being subject to the whim and caprice of fashion. 
It is a great pity an exercise so valuable to the se- 
dentary, and especially those who sit much, of both 
sexes, should be so managed as to injure half the 
world, and excite against it the prejudices of the 
other half. 

I have said that the young must have recreations, 
and generally in the open air. The reason why 
they should usually be conducted in the open air, 
is, that their ordinary occupations too frequently 



USEFUL RECREATIONS. 193 



"Fire -pide recreations Books. Newspaper. Lvceams. Anerd^e. 

confine them within doors, and of course in an 
atmosphere more or less vitiated. Farmers, gar- 
deners, rope makers, and persons whose occupa- 
tions are of an active nature, do not need out-of- 
door sports at all. Their recreations should be by 
the fire side. Not with cards or dice, nor in the 
company of those whose company is not worth 
having. But the book, the newspaper, conversa- 
tion, or the lyceum, will be the appropriate re- 
creations for these classes, and will be found in the 
highest degree satisfactory- For the evening, the 
lyceum is particularly adapted, because laboring 
young men are often too much fatigued at night, 
to think, closely ; and the lyceum, or conversation, 
will be more agreeable, and not less useful. Hut the 
family circle may of itself constitute a lyceum, and 
the book or the newspaper maybe made the sub- 
ject of discussion. I have known the heads of 
families in one neighborhood greatly improved, 
and the whole neighborhood derive an impulse, 
from the practice of meeting one evening in the 
week, to read the news together, and converse on 
the more interesting intelligence of the day. 

Some strongly recommend *the sports of the 
field,' and talk with enthusiasm of < hunting, cours- 
ing, fishing;' and of 'dogs and horses.' But these 
are no recreations for me. True they are healthy 
to the body ; but not to the morals. This I spy 
confidently, although some of my readers may 
17 



194 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Field sports. Their cruelty. They are unchristian. 

smile, and call it an affectation of sensibility. Yet 
with Cowper, 

c I would not enter on my list of friends 

The man who needlessly sets foot upon a worm.' 

If the leading objects of field sports were to pro- 
cure sustenance* I would not say a word. But 
the very term sports, implies something different. 
And shall we sport with life — even that of the 
inferior animals? That which we cannot give y 
shall we presumptuously dare to take away, and 
as our only apology say, ' Am I not in sport?' 

Besides, other amusements equally healthy, and 
if we are accustomed to them, equally pleasant,, 
and much more rational, can be substituted. What 
they are, I have mentioned, at least in part. How 
a sensible man, and especially a Christian, can 
hunt or fish, when he would not do it, were it not 
for the pleasure he enjoys in the cruelty it in- 
volves; — how, above all, a wise father can recom- 
mend it to his children, or to others, 1 am utterly- 
unable to conceive L 



CHAPTER IV. 

Xmjnrobement of tjie i&tnfc. 



Section I. Habit of Observation. 

'Your eyes open, your thoughts close, will go 
safe through the world,' is a maxim which some 
have laid down ; but it savors rather too much of 
selfishness. ' You may learn from others all you 
can, but you are to give them as little opportunity 
as possible for learning from you,' seems to be the 
language, properly interpreted. Suppose every 
one took the advice, and endeavored to keep his 
thoughts close, for fear he should either be misun- 
derstood, or thought wanting in wisdom; what 
would become of the pleasures of conversation? 
Yet these make up a very considerable item of the 
happiness of human life. 

I have sometimes thought w T ith Dr. Rush, that 
taciturnity, though often regarded as a mark of 
wisdom, is rather the effect of a 'want of ideas.' 
The doctor mentions the taciturnity of the Ameri- 
can Indians as a case in point. Even in civilized 
company, he believes that with one or two ex- 
ceptions, an indisposition to join in conversation 



196 TH2 YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 



Observation. Difference in the power of acquiring the habit. 

*in nine cases out often, is a mark of stupidity,' 
and presently adds ; i Ideas, whether acquired 
from books or by reflection, produce a plethora in 
the mind, which can only be relieved by depletion 
from die pen or tongue.' 

'Keep your eyes open,' however, is judicious 
advice. How many who have the eyes of their 
body open, keep the eyes of the soul perpetually 
shut up. 'Seeing, they see not.' Such persons, 
on arriving at the age of three or four score, may 
lay claim to superior wisdom on account of supe- 
rior age, but their claims ought not to be admitted. 
A person who has the eyes both of his mind and 
body open, will derive more wisdom from one 
year's experience, than those who neglect to ob- 
serve for themselves, from ten. Thus at thirty, 
with ten years acquaintance with men, manners 
and tilings, a person may be wiser than another 
at three times thirty, with seven times ten years 
of what he calls experience. Sound practical wis- 
dom, cannot, it is true, be rapidly acquired any 
where but in the school of experience, but the 
world abounds with men who are old enough to 
be wise, and yet are very ignorant. Let it be 
your fixed resolution not to belong to this class. 

But in order to have the mental eyes open, the 
external eyes should be active. We should, as a 
general rule, see what is going on around us. 
There are indeed seasons, occurring in the school 
or the closet, when abstraction is desirable; but 



OBSERVATION. 197 



A pindnx explained. Anecdote of Dr. Dvvight. Pedantry. 

speaking generally, we should 'keep our eyes 
open.' 

It is hence easy to see why some men who are 
accounted learned, are yet in common life very 
great tools. Is it not because their eyes have been 
shut to every thing but books, and schools, and 
colleges, and universities ? 

The late Dr. Dwight was an eminent instance 
of keeping up an acquaintance both vvitJi books, 
and the world in which he lived and acted. In 
his walks, or wherever he happened to be, no- 
thing could escape his eye. 'Not a bird could 
fly up,' says one of his students, 'but he observ- 
ed it.' And he endeavored to establish the same 
habit of observation in others. Riding in a chaise, 
one day, with a student of his, who was apt to 
be abstracted from surrounding things, he sudden- 
ly exclaimed, almost indignant at his indifference, 
'S — keep your eyes open!' The lesson was not 
lost. It made a deep impression on the mind of 
the student. Though by no means distinguished 
in his class, he has outstripped many, if not the 
most of them, in actual and practical usefulness; 
and to this hour, he attributes much of his success 
to the foregoing circumstance. 

There is a pedantry in these things, however, 
which is not only fulsome, but tends to defeat our 
very purpose. It is not quite sufficient that we 
merely bestow a passing glance on objects, they 
must strike deep. If they do not, they had better 



198 THE YOUNG Man's GUIDE. 

Affectation of knowledge. Anecdote of the elder Pliny. 

not have been seen at all ; since the habit of ' see- 
ing not, 5 while we appear to 'see,' has been all the 
while strengthening. 

It cannot be denied that a person who shall take 
the advice I have given, may, with a portion of 
his fellow men, gain less credit than if he adopted 
a different course. There is a certain surgeon, in 
one of the New England States, who lias acquired 
much popularity by reading as he travels along. 
Seldom or never, say his admirers, is he seen in 
his carriage without a book in his hand, or at his 
side. But such popularity is usually of a mush- 
room character. There may be pressing occasions 
which render it the duty of a surgeon to consult 
his books, while in his carriage; but these occa- 
sions can never be of frequent occurrence. It is 
far better that he should be reading lessons from 
the great and open volume of nature. 

Nor does it add, in any degree, to the just re- 
spect due to the wisdom of either of the Plinys, 
that the elder 'never travelled without a book and 
a portable writing desk by his side, 'and that the 
younger read upon all occasions, whether riding, 
walking, or sitting.' I cannot doubt that, wise as 
they were in books and philosophy, they would 
have secured a much greater fund of practical wis- 
dom, had they left their books and writing desks 
at home, and 'kept their eyes open' to surrounding 
objects. 

There is another thing mentioned of Pliny the 



RFLES FOR CONVERSATION. 199 

improvement from conversation. Every one has his excellences- 

elder, which is equally objectionable. It is said 
that a person read to him during his meals. I 
have given my views on this point in Chapter I. 

Section II. Rules for Conversation, 

The bee has the art of extracting honey from 
•every flower which contains it, even from some 
which are not a little nauseous or poisonous. It 
has also been said that the conversation of every 
individual, whatever may be the condition of his 
fnind or circumstances, may be made a means of 
improvement. How happy would it be, then, if 
-man possessed the skill of the bee, and knew how 
to extract the good, and reject the bad or useless! 

Something on this subject is, indeed, known. 
There are rules, by the observance of which we- 
may derive much valuable information from the 
conversation of those among whom we live, even 
though it should relate to the most ordinary sub- 
jects and concerns. And not only so, we may of- 
ten devise means to change the conversation, either 
directly, by gradually introducing other topics of 
discourse, or indirectly, by patient attempts to en- 
large and improve and elevate the minds of our 
associates. 

Every individual has excellences; and almost 
every person, however ignorant, has thought upon 
some one subject more than many, — perhaps most 
— others. Some excel in the knowledge of hus- 



200 THE YOUNG MAN r S GUIDE. 



A useful rule. Hero of the circle. An objections 

bandry, some in gardening, some iu mechanics, or 
manufactures, some in mathematics, and so on. 
In all your conversation, then, it will be well to 
ascertain as nearly as you can wherein the skill 
and excellence of an individual lies, and put him 
upon his favorite subject* Nor is this difficult. 
Every one will y of his own accord, fall to talking 
on his favorite topic, if you will follow, and not 
attempt to had him. 

Except in a few rare cases, every one wishes to 
be the hero of the circle where he is conversing,,. 
If, therefore, you seek to improve in the greatest 
possible degree, from the conversation of those 
among whom you may be thrown, you will suffer 
a companion to take his own course, and 4 out of the 
abundance of his heart/ let his 'mouth speak/ 
By this means you may easily collect the worth 
and excellence of every one you meet with ; and 
be able to put it together for your own use upon- 
future occasions- 

The common objections to the views here pre- 
sented,, are, that they encourage dissimulation- 
But this does not appear to me to be the fact. In* 
suffering a person, for the space of a single con- 
versation, to be the hero of the circle, we do not 
of necessity concede his superiority generally ; we- 
only help him to be useful to the company. It 
often happens that you are thrown among persons 
whom you cannot benefit by becoming the hero 
&f the circle yourself, for they will not listen to 



HULE3 FOR CONVERT vTION. 201 



-Avoid interrupting others. Shun the wanton and profane, 

you ; and perhaps will not understand your terms, 
if they do. If J however, there appear to be others 
in the company whose object, like your own, & 
improvement, you might expose yourself to the 
just cl large of being selfish, should you refuse to con- 
verse upon your own favorite topics in your turn; 
and thus to let the good deed go round. 

Never interrupt another, but hear him out. You 
will understand him the better for it, and be able 
to give him the better answer. If you only give 
him an opportunity, he may say something which 
you have not yet heard, or explain what you did 
not fully understand, or even mention something 
which you did not expect. 

There are individuals with whom you may oc- 
casionally come in contact, from whose conversa- 
tion you will hardly derive much benefit at alL 
Such are those who use wanton, or obscene, or 
profane language. For, besides the almost utter 
hopelessness of deriving any benefit from such per- 
sons, and the pain you must inevitably suffer in 
hearing them, you put your own reputation at 
hazard. 'A man is known by the company he 
keeps;' take care therefore how you frequent the 
company of the swearer or the sensualist. Avoid, 
too, the known liar, for similar reasons. 

If you speak in company, it is not only modest 
but wise to speak late; for by this means, you will 
be able to render your conversation more accept- 
able, and to weigh beforehand the importance of 



202 THE YOUNG MAN 7 S GUIDE. 



Speak in few words Be calm. Avoid finesse; 

what yon utter; and you will be less likely to vio- 
late the good old rule, 'think twice before you 
speak once.' Let your words be as few as will 
express the sense which you wish to convey, es- 
pecially when strangers or men of much greater 
experience than yourself are present; and above 
all, be careful that what you say be strictly true. 

Do not suffer your feelings to betray you into 
too great earnestness, or vehemence ; and never be 
overbearing. Avoid triumphing over an antag- 
onist, even though you might reasonably do so. 
You gain nothing. On the contrary, you often 
confirm him in his erroneous opinions. At least,, 
you prejudice him against yourself. Zimmerman 
insists that we should suffer an antagonist to get 
the victory over us occasionally, in order to raise his 
respect for himself. All finesse of this kind, how- 
ever, as Christians, I think it better to avoid. 

Section III. On Books, and Study. 

It may excite some surprise that books, and 
study, do not occupy a more conspicuous p'ace in 
this work. There are several reasons for this cir- 
cumstance. The first is, a wish to counteract the 
prevailing tendency to make too much of books 
as a means of forming character. The second is, 
because the choice of these depends more upon 
parents and teachers than upon the individual him- 
self; and if they have neglected to lay the fomula- 



ON BOOKS AND STUDY. 4 iOI$ 



Methods of i.npr ivement. Debiting societies. Newspaper*. 

tion of a desire for mental improvement, there is 
less probability that any advice I may give on this 
subject will be serviceable, than on most others 

And yet, no young man, at any age, ought to 
despair of establishing such habits of body mid 
mind as he believes would contribute to his use- 
fulness. He hates the sight of a book perhaps; 
but what then? This prejudice may, in a meas- 
ure, be removed. Not at once, it is true, but gradu- 
ally. Not by compelling himself to read or study 
against his inclination ; for little will be accom- 
plished when it goes 'against the grain.' But there 
are means better and more effective than these ; 
some of which I will now proceed to point out. 

Let him attach himself to some respectable lyce- 
um or debating society. Most young men are 
willing to attend a lyceum. occasionally ; and thanks 
to the spirit of the £imes and those who have 
zealously labored to produce the present state of 
things, these institutions every where abound. Let 
him now and then take part in a discussion, if it be, 
at first, only to say a few words. The moment he 
can awaken an interest in almost any subject what- 
ever, that moment he will, of necessity, seek for 
information in regard to it. He will seek it, not 
only in conversation, but in newspapers. These, if 
well selected, will in their turn refer him to books 
of travels. Gradually he will find histories, if not 
written in too dry a manner, sources of delight, 
Thus he will proceed, step by step, till he finds 



204 THE YOUNG MAN r S GUTDE, 



Avoid studying too long. An erroneous impression corrected 

himself quite attached to reading of various des- 
criptions. 

There is one caution to be observed here, which 
is, not to read too long or too ranch at once. When- 
ever a book, or even a newspaper, begins to be 
Irksome, let it be laid aside for the time. In this 
way you will return to it, at the next leisure mo- 
ment, with increased pleasure. 

A course not unlike that which I have been 
describing, faithfully and perseveringly followed, 
would in nine cases in ten, be successful. Indeed, 
I never yet knew of a single failure. One great 
point is, to be thoroughly convinced of its im- 
portance. No young man can reasonably expect 
success, unless he enters upon his work with 
Ins whole heart, and purees it with untiring as- 
siduity. 

Of the necessity of improvement, very few young 
men seem to have doubts. But there is a diffi- 
culty which many feel, which it will require no 
little effort to remove, because it is one of long 
standing, and wrought into all the arrangements of 
civilized society. I allude to the prevailing im- 
pression that very little can be done to improve 
the mind beyond a certain age, and the limit is 
often fixed at eighteen or twenty years. We hear 
it, indeed, asserted, that nothing can be done after 
thirty ; but the general belief is that most men can- 
not do much after twenty : or at least that it will 
cost much harder effort and study. 



ON BOOKS AND STCPY. 205 



Self education. On beginning study late in life. 



Now, I would bf3 the last to encourage any young 
person in wasting, or even undervaluing his early 
years; for youth is a golden period, and every 
moment well spent will be to the future what good 
seed, well planted in its season, is to the husband- 
man. 

The truth is, that what we commonly call a 
course of education, is only a course which pre- 
pares a young man to educate himself. It is giving 
him the keys of knowledge. But who will sit 
down contentedly and cease to make effort, the 
moment he obtains the keys to the most valuable 
of treasures? It is strange, indeed, that we should 
so long have talked of finishing an education, when 
we have only just prepared ourselves to begin it. 

If any young man at twenty, twenty-five, or 
thirty, finds himself ignorant, whether the fault is 
his own or that of others, let him not for one single 
moment regard his age as presenting a serious ob- 
stacle to improvement. Should these remarks meet 
the eye of any such individual, let me prevail with 
him, when I urge him to make an effort. Not 
a momentary effort, either; let him take time for 
his experiment. Even Rome was not built in a 
day ; and he who thinks to build up a well regulated 
and highly enlightened mind in a few weeks, or 
even months, has yet to learn the depths of his own 
ignorance. 

It would be easy to cite a long list of men who 
commenced study late in life, and yet finally be- 
18 



206 

Examples of late students. Dr. Franklin. Our indolence. 

came eminent ; and this, too, with no instructors 
but themselves and their books. Some have met 
with signal success, who commenced after forty 
years of age. Indeed, no reason can be shown, wiiy 
the mind may not improve as long, at least, as the 
body. But all experience goes to prove that with 
those whose habits are judicious, the physical frame 
does not attain perfection, in every respect, till 
thirty-five or forty. 

It is indeed said that knowledge, if it could be 
acquired thus late in life, would be easily forgotten. 
This is true, if it be that kind of knowledge for 
which we have no immediate use. But if it be 
of a practical character, it will not fail to be re- 
membered. Franklin was always learning, till 
death. And what he learned he seldom forgot, 
because he had an immediate use for it. I have 
said, it is a great point to be convinced of the im- 
portance of knowledge. I might add that it is a 
point of still greater consequence to feel our own 
ignorance. 'To know ourselves diseased, (moral- 
ly) is half our cure.' To know our own ignorance 
is the first step to knowledge ; and other things 
being alike, our progress in knowledge will gene- 
rally be in proportion to our sense of the want of it. 

The strongest plea which indolence is apt to 
put in, is, that we have no time for study. Many 
a young man has had some sense of his own ig- 
norance, and a corresponding thirst for knowledge, 
but alas! the idea was entertained that he had no 



ON BOOKS AND STUDY. 207 



Time enough for study. Alfred. Franklin. Frederick. Napoleon. 

time to read — no time to study — no time to think. 
And resting on this plea as satisfactory, he has 
gone down to the grave the victim not only of 
indolence and ignorance, but perhaps of vice; — 
vicj, too, which he might have escaped with a little 
more general intelligence. 

No greater mistake exists than that which so often 
haunts the human mind, that we cannot find time 
for things; things, too, which we have previously 
decided for ourselves that we ought to do. Alfred, 
king of England, though he performed more busi- 
ness than almost any of his subjects, found time 
for study. Franklin, in the midst of all his labors, 
found time to dive into the depths of philosophy, 
and explore an untrodden path of science. Fred- 
erick the Great, with an empire at his direction, in 
the midst of war, and on the eve of battles, found 
time to revel in ad the charms of philosophy, and 
to feast himself- on the rich viands of intellect. 
Bonaparte, wiih Europe at his disposal, with kings 
at ins ante-chamber begging for vacant thrones, and 
at t ie head of thousands of men whose destinies 
were suspended on his arbitrary pleasure, had time 
to converse with books. Csesar, when he had curb- 
ed the spirits of the Roman people, and was throng- 
ed with visitors from the remotest kingdoms, found 
time for intellectual cultivation. The late Dr. Rush, 
and the still later Dr. Dwight, are eminent instances 
of what may be done for the cultivation of the 
mind, in the midst of the greatest pressure of other 
occupation. 



208 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Oilier examples. Most persons can fiml leisure for reading. 

On this point, it may be useful to mention the re- 
sults of my own observation. At no period of my 
life am 1 conscious of having made greater pro- 
gress than I have sometimes done while laboring 
in the summer; and almost incessantly too. It is 
true, I read but little ; yet that little was well un- 
derstood and thoroughly digested. Almost all the 
knowledge 1 possess of ancient history was obtain- 
ed in this way, in one year. Of course, a particular 
knowledge could not be expected, under such cir- 
cumstances; Jt)ut the general impressions and lead- 
ing facts which were imbibed, will be of very great 
value to me, as 1 trust, through life. And I am 
acquainted with one or two similar instances. 

It is true that mechanics and manufacturers, as 
well as men of most other occupations, find fewer 
leisure hours than most farmers. The latter class 
of people are certainly more favorably situated 
than any other. But it is also true that even the 
former, almost without exception, can command a 
small portion of their time every day, for the pur- 
poses of mental improvement, if they are determin- 
ed on it. Few individuals can be found in the 
community, who have not as much leisure as I 
had during the summer I have mentioned. The 
great point is to have the necessary disposition to 
improve it; and a second point, of no small im- 
portance, is to have at hand, proper means of in- 
struction. Of the latter I shall speak presently. 

The reason why laboring men make such rapid 



ON BOOKS AND STUDY. 209 

Mental progress of laborers. Pursuit of knowledge in difficulties. 

progress in knowledge, in proportion to the num- 
ber of hours they devote to study, appears to me 
obvious. The mental appetite is keen, and they 
devour with a relish. What little they read and 
understand, is thought over, and perhaps conversed 
upon, during the long interval; and becomes truly 
the property of the reader. Whereas those who 
make study a business, never possess a healthy ap- 
petite for knowledge ; they are always cloyed, no- 
thing is well digested ; and the result of their 
continued effort is either a superficial or a distorted 
view of a great many things, without a thorough 
or practical understanding of any. 

I do not propose, in a work of this kindj to 
recommend to young men what particular books on 
any subject they ought to study. First, because it 
is a matter of less importance than many others, 
and T cannot find room to treat of every thing. 

He who has the determination to make pi>g»ess, 
will do so, either with or without books, though 
these are certainly useful. Hut an old piece of 
newspaper, or a straggling leaf from some book, or 
an inscription on a monument, or the monument 
itself — and works of nature as well as of art, will 
be books to him. Secondly, because there is such 
an extensive range for selection. But, thirdly, 
because it may often be left to the reader's own 
taste and discretion. He will probably soon dis- 
cover whether he is deriving solid or permanent 
benefit from his studies, and govern himself ac- 



210 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Importance of geognphy to thi- young. Method of study. 

cordingly. Or if he have a friend at hand, who 
will be likely to make a judicious selection, with 
a proper reference to his actual progress and 
wants, he would do wrong not to avail himself of 
that friend's opinion. 

I will now mention a few of the particular studies 
to which he who would educate himself for useful- 
ness should direct his attention. 

1, GEOGRAPHY. 

As it is presumed that every one whom I address 
reads newspapers more or less, I must be per- 
mitted to recommend that you read them with 
good maps of every quarter of the world before 
you, and a geography and correct gazetteer at 
hand. When a place is mentioned, observe its 
situation on the map, read an account of it in the 
gazetteer, and a more particular description in the 
geography. Or if you choose to go through with 
the article, and get some general notions of the 
subject, and afterwards go back and read it a sec- 
ond time, in the manner proposed, to this I have no 
objection. 

Let me insist, strongly, on the importance of 
this method of reading. It may seem slow at first; 
but believe me, you will be richly repaid in the 
end. Even in the lyceum, where the subject 
seems to demand it, and the nature of the case will 
admit, it ought to be required of lecturers and dis- 
putants, to explain every thing in passing, either 



STUDY OF GEOGRAPHY. 211 



Benefits of studying ge.jg aphy. How to study history. 

dv reference to books themselves on the spot, or 
by maps, apparatus, diagrams, &c; with which, it 
is plain, that every Lyceum ought to be furnished. 
The more intelligent would lose nothing, while the 
less so, would gain much, by this practice. The 
expense of these things, at the present time, is so 
trifling, that no person, or association of persons, 
whose object is scientific improvement, should, by 
any means, dispense with them. 

No science expands the mind of a young mah. 
more, at the same time that it secures his cheerful 
attention, than geography — I mean if pursued in 
the foregoing manner. Its use is so obvious that 
the most stupid cannot fail to see it. Much is said, 
I know, of differences of taste on this, as weil as 
every other subject; but I can hardly believe that 
any young person can be entirely without taste for 
geographical knowledge. It is next to actual trav- 
els ; and who does not delight in seeing new places 
and new objects? 

2. HISTORY. 

Next in order as regards both interest and im- 
portance, will be a knowledge of history, with 
some attention at the same time to chronology. 
Here, too, the starting point will be the same as in 
the former case. Some circumstance or event 
mentioned at the lyceum, or in the newspaper, 
will excite curiosity, and lead the way to inquiry. 
J think it well, however, to have but one leading 



212 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Illustration of the method proposed. Perseverance in it. 

science in view at a time ; that is, if geography be 
the object, let history and almost every thing else 
be iaul aside for that time, in order to secure, and 
hold fast the geographical information which is 
needed. After a few weeks or months, should he 
wish to pursue history, let the student, for some 
time confine himself chiefly, perhaps exclusively, 
to that branch. 

The natural order of commencing and pursuing 
this branch without an instructor, and I think in 
schools also, is the following. For example, you 
take up a book, or it may be a newspaper, since 
these are swarming every where at the present 
time, and read that a person has just deceased, 
who was at Yorktown, in Virginia, during the 
whole siege, in the American revolution, i am 
supposing here that you have already learned 
where Yorktown is; for geography, to some extent 
at least, should precede history; but if not, I would 
let it pass for the moment, since we cannot do 
every thing at once, and proceed to inquire about 
the siege, and revolution. If you have any books 
whatever, on history, within your reach, do not 
give up the pursuit till you have attained a measure 
of success. Find out, when the suge in question 
happened, by whom, and by how many thousand 
troops it was carried on ; and who and how many 
the besieged were. 

He who follows out this plan, will soon find his 
mind reaching beyond the mere events alluded to 



STUDY OF HISTORY. 213 

Farther illustrations. Ignorance at the present day, disgraceful. 

in the newspaper, both forward and backward. 
As in the example already mentioned, for I cannot 
think of a better; — What were the consequences 
of this siege? — Did it help to bring about peace, 
and how soon? — And did the two nations ever 
engage in war afterward? — If so, how soon, and 
with what results? What became of the French 
troops and of the good La Fayette ? This would 
lead to the study of French history for the last forty 
years. On the other- hand, Where had Washing- 
ton and La Fayette and Cornwallis beeu employed, 
previous to the siege of Yorktown ? What battles 
had they fought, and with what success? What 
led to the quarrel between Great Britain and the 
United States? &c. Thus we should naturally go 
backward, step by step, until we should get much 
of modern history clustered round this single event 
of the siege of Yorktown. The same course 
should be pursued in the case of any other event, 
either ancient or modern. If newspapers are not 
thus read, they dissipate the mind, and probably do 
about as much harm as good. 

Jt is deemed disgraceful — and ought to be — 
for any young man at this day to be ignorant of 
the geography and history of the country in which 
he lives. And yet it is no uncommon occurrence. 
However it argues much against the excellence of 
our systems of education, that almost every child 
should be carried apparently through a wide range 
of science, and over the whole material universe, 



214 



THE YOUNG MANS GUIDE. 



Arithmetic. Its importance. An illustration. 



and yet know nothing, or next to nothing, practi- 
cally, of his own country. 

3. ARITHMETIC. 

No young man is excusable who is destitute 
of a knowledge of Arithmetic. It is probable, 
however, that no individual will read this book, 
who has not some knowledge of the fundamental 
branches; numeration, addition, subtraction, mill* 
tip'ieation, and division. But with these, every 
person has the key to a thorough acquaintance 
with the whole subject, so far as his situation in 
life requires. To avail himself of these keys to 
mathematical knowledge, he must pursue a course 
not unlike that which 1 have recommended in re- 
lation to geography and history. He must seize 
on every circumstance which occurs in his read- 
ing, where reckoning is required, and if possible, 
stop at once and compute it. Or if not, let the 
place be marked, and at the first leisure moment, 
let him turn to it, and make the estimates. 

Suppose he reads of a shipwreck. The crew is 
said to consist of thirty men besides the captain 
and mate, with three hundred and thirteen passen- 
gers, and a company of sixty grenadiers. The cap- 
tain and mate, and ten of the crew escaped in the 
long boat. The rest were drowned, except twelve 
of the grenadiers, who clung to afl oating fragment 
of the wreck till they were taken off by another 
vessel. Now is there a single person in existence, 



STUDY OF ARITHMETIC. 2J5 

On making arithmetic practical. Value of chemistry. 

who would read such an account, without being 
anxious to know how many persons in the whole 
were lost? Yet nine readers in ten would not know; 
and why ? Simply because they will not stop to use 
what little addition and subtraction they possess. 

I do not say that, in reading to a company, who 
did not expect it, a young man would be required 
to stop and make the computation ; but I do say 
that in all ordinary cases, no person is excusable 
who omits it, for it is a flagrant wrong to his own 
mind. Long practice, it is true, will render it un- 
necessary for an individual to pause, in order to 
estimate a sum like that abovementioned. Many, 
indeed most persons who are familar with figures, 
might compute these numbers while reading, and 
without the slightest pause ; but it certainly re- 
quires some practice. And the most important 
use of arithmetical studies (except as a discipline 
to the mind) is to enable us to reckon without 
slates and pencils. He has but a miserable know- 
ledge of arithmetic, who is no arithmetician with- 
out a pen or pencil in his hand. These are but the 
ladders upon which he should ascend to the science, 
and not the science itself. 

4. CHEMISTRY AND OTHER NATURAL SCIENCES. 

If I were to name one branch, as more impor- 
tant to a young man than any other, — next to the 
merest elements of reading and writing — it would 
be chemistry. Not a mere smattering of it, how- 



216 THE YOUNG Man's GUIDE. 



Chemistry for farmers. Bot any. Natural History. Geography. 

ever; for this usually does about as much harm as 
good. But a thorough knowledge of a few of the 
simple elements of bodies, aad some of their most 
interesting combinations, such as are witnessed every 
day of our lives, but which, for want of a little know- 
ledge of chemistry, are never understood, would 
do more to interest a young man in the business in 
which he may be employed, than almost any thing 
I could name. For there is hardly a single trade 
or occupation whatever, that does not embrace a 
greater or less number of chemical processes. Che- 
mistry is of very high importance even to the gar- 
dener and the farmer. 

There are several other branches which come 
under the general head of Natural Science, 
which I recommend to your attention. Such are 
Botany, or a knowledge of plants; Natural His- 
tory, or a knowledge of animals ; and Geology, 
or a general knowledge of the rocks and stones of 
which the earth on which we live is composed. I 
do not think these are equally important with the 
knowledge of chemisty, but they are highly in- 
teresting, and by no means without their value. 

5. GRAMMAR AND COMPOSITION. 

The foundation of a knowledge of Grammar is, 
in my view, Composition ; and composition, whe- 
ther learned early or late, is best acquired by letter 
writing. This habit, early commenced, and judi- 
ciously but perse veringly followed, will in time, 



GRAMMAR AND COMPOSITION. 217 

Practical grammarians Composition. Epistolary correspondence 

ensure the art not only of composing well, but also 
grammatically. I know this position is sometimes 
doubted, but the testimony is so strong, that the 
point seems to me fully established. 

It is related in Ramsay's Life of Washington, 
that many individuals, who, before the war of the 
American Revolution, could scarcely write then- 
names, became, in the progress of that war, able to 
compose letters which were not only intelligible 
and correct, but which would have done credit to 
a profound grammarian. The reason of this un- 
doubtedly was, that they were thrown into situa- 
tions where they were obliged to write much and 
^often, and in such a manner as to be clearly under- 
stood. Perhaps the misinterpretation of a single 
doubtful word or sentence might have been the 
ruin of an army, or even of the cause. Thus they 
had a motive to write accurately ; and long prac- 
tice, with a powerful motive before them, render- 
ed them successful. 

Nor is it necessary that motives so powerful 
should always exist, in order to produce this re- 
sult; — it is sufficient that there be a motive to 
write well, and to persevere in writing well. 1 have 
known several pedlars and traders, whose business 
led to the same consequences. 

6. LETTER WRITING. 

But what I have seen most successful, is, the 
practice of common letter writing, from friend to 
19 



218 THE YOUNG Man's GUIDE. 

.Study of Grammar at school useful, though not indispensable. 

friend, on any topic whicli happened to occur, either 
ordinary, or extraordinary ; with the mutual under- 
standing and desire that each should criticise freely 
on the other's composition. I have known more 
than one individual, who became a good writer from 
this practice, with little aid from grammatical rules ; 
and without any direct instruction at all. 

These remarks are not made to lessen the value 
which any young man may have put upon the 
studies of grammar and composition, as pursued in 
our schools ; but rather to show that a course at 
school is not absolutely indispensable ; and to en- 
courage those who are never likely to enjoy the 
latter means, to make use of means not yet out of 
their reach, and which have often been successful. 
But lest there should be an apparent contradiction 
in some of my remarks, it will be necessary to say 
that I think the practice of familiar letter writing, 
from our earliest years, even at school, should,, 
in every instance, have a much more prominent 
place than is usually assigned it ; and the study of 
books on Grammar and Composition one much 
less prominent. 

7. VOYAGES, TRAVELS, AND BIObRAPHY. 

For mere reading, well selected Voyages and 
Travels are among the best works for young meiif 
particularly for those who find little taste for read- 
ing, and wish to enkindle it; and whose geograph- 
ical knowledge is deficient. 



BIOGRAPHY, NOVELS, &C. 219 



Study of Biography. Are novels useful ? 

Well written biography is next in importance, 
and usually so in interest; and so improving to 
the character is this species of composition, that it 
really ought to be regarded as a separate branch of 
education, as much as history or geography; and 
treated accordingly. In the selection of both these 
species of writing the aid of an intelligent, expe- 
rienced and judicious friend would be of very great 
service ; and happy is lie who has such a treasure 
at hand. 



As to novels it is difficult to say what advice 
ought to be given. At first view they seem unne- 
cessary, wholly so ; and from this single considera- 
tion. They interest and improve just in proportion 
as the fiction they contain is made to resemble 
reality ; and hence it might be inferred, and natu- 
rally enough, too, that reality would in all cases be 
preferable to that which imitates it. But to this it 
may be replied, that we have few books of narra- 
tive and biography, which are written with so 
much spirit as some works of fiction ; and that 
until those departments are better filled, fiction, 
properly selected, should be admissible. But if fic- 
tion be allowable at all, it is only under the guid- 
ance of age and experience; — and here there is 
even a more pressing need of a friend than in the 
cases already mentioned. 

On the whole, it is believed to be better for 



220 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

If not, why? Influence of newspapers. Their benefits, 

young men who have little leisure for reading, and 
who wish to make the most they can of that little, 
to abandon novels wholly. If they begin to read 
them, it is difficult to tell to what an excess they 
may go ; but if they never read one in their whole 
lives, they will sustain no great loss. Would not 
the careful study of a single chapter of Watts 's Im- 
provement of the Mind, be of more real practical 
value than the perusal of all that the best novel 
writers, — Walter Scott not excepted, — have ever 
written ? 

9. OF NEWSPAPERS. 

Among other means both of mental and moral 
improvement at the present day, are periodical 
publications. The multiplicity and cheapness of 
these sources of knowledge renders them acces- 
sible to all classes of the community. And though 
their influence were to be as evil as the frogs of 
Egypt we could not escape it. 

Doubtless they produce much evil, though their 
tendency on the whole is believed to be salutary. 
But wisdom is necessary, in order to derive the 
greatest amount of benefit from them ; and here, 
perhaps, more than any where else, do the ynung 
need the counsels of experience. 1 am not about 
to direct what particular newspapers and maga- 
zines they ought to read; this is a point which 
their friends and relatives must assist them in de- 
termining. My purpose is simply to point to a few 



OF NEWSPAPERS. 221 

Several rules for selecting a nevvspnper. 

principles which should guide both the young and 
those who advise them, in making the selection. 

L In the first place, do not seek for your guide 
a paper which is just commencing its existence, 
unless you have reason to think the character of 
its conductors is such as you approve. 

2. Avoid, unless your particular occupation re- 
quires it, a business paper. Otherwise your head 
will become so full of 'arrivals' and 'departures,' 
and ' prices current,' and ' news,' that you w 7 ill hard- 
ly find room for any thing else. 

3. Do not take a paper which dwells on nothing 
but the details of human depravity. It will indeed, 
for a time, call forth a sensibility to the woes of 
mankind ; but the final result will probably be a 
stupidity and insensibility to human suffering which 
you would give much to remove. 

4. Avoid those papers which, awed by the cry 
for short and light articles, have rendered their 
pages mere columns of insulated facts or useless 
scraps, or what is still worse, of unnatural and sick- 
ening love stories. 

Lastly, do not take a paper which sneers at re- 
ligion. It is quite enough that many periodicals 
do, in effect, take a course which tends to irreli- 
gion, by leaving this great subject wholly out of 
Bight. But when they openly sneer at and ridicule 
the most sacred things, leave them at once. 'Evil 
communications corrupt' the best 'manners;' and 
though the sentiment may not at once be received, 



222 THE YOUNG Man's GUIDE 



Amazing influence of newspapers. Study of politics. 

I can assure my youthful readers that there are no 
publications which have more direct effect upon 
their lives, than these unpretending companions; 
and perhaps the very reason is because we least 
suspect them. Against receiving deep or perma- 
nent impressions from the Bible, the sermon, or the 
book of any kind, we are on our watch, but who 
thinks of having his principles contaminated, or 
affected much m any way, merely by the news- 
paper? Yet I am greatly mistaken, if these very 
monitors do not have more influence, after all, in 
forming the minds, the manners, and the morals 
(shall I add, the religious character, even ? ) of the 
rising generation, than all the other means which 1 
have mentioned, put together. 

How important, in this view, it becomes, that 
your newspaper reading should be well selected. 
Let me again repeat the request, that in selecting 
those papers which sustain an appropriate charac- 
ter, you will seek the advice of those whom you 
deem most able and judicious ; and so far as you 
think them disinterested, and worthy of your con- 
fidence, endeavor to follow it. 

Politics. As to the study of politics, in the usual 
sense of the term, it certainly cannot be advisable. 
Nothing appears to me more disgusting than to see 
young men rushing into the field of political war- 
fare, and taking sides as fiercely as if they laid claim 
to infallibility, where their fathers and grandfathers 
modestly confess ignorance. 



'OF NEWSPAPERS. 223 



Ignorance on some points. Wholly inexcusable. 

At the same time, in a government like ours, 
where the highest offices are in the gift of the peo- 
ple, and within the reach of every young man of 
tolerable capacity, it would be disgraceful not to 
study the history and constitution of our own 
•■country, and closely to watch all legislative move- 
ments, at least in the councils of the nation. The 
time is not far distant, it is hoped, when these 
will be made every day subjects in our elemen- 
tary schools; and when no youth will arrive at 
fnanhood, as thousands, and, I was going to say, 
millions now do, without understanding clearly a 
•single article in the Constitution of the United 
States, or even in that of the State in which he 
resides: nor even how his native state is repre- 
sented in Congress. 

Again, most young men will probably, sooner or 
later, vote for rulers in the town, state, and nation 
;£o which they belong. Should they vote at random ? 
Or what is little better, take their opinions upon 
trust? Or shall they examine for themselves; and 
.go to the polls with their eyes open? At a day like 
the present, nothing appears to me more obvious 
than that young men ought to understand what 
they-are doing when they concern themselves with 
public men or public measures. 

10. KEEPING A JOURNAL. 

I have already spoken of the importance of let- 
ter writing. The keeping of a journal is scarcely 



224 THE YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 



Keeping a journal. Specimen. A better method. 

less so, provided it be done in a proper manner* 
I have seen journals, however, which, aside from 
the fact, that they improve the handwriting, and 
encourage method, could have been of very little 
use. A young agriculturist kept a journal for many 
years, of which the following is a specimen. 

1813. 

July 2. Began our haying. Mowed in the fore- 
noon, and raked in the afternoon^ 
Weather good. 

3. Continued haying. Mowed, Got in 

one load. Cloudy. 

4. Independence. Went, in the afternoon, 

to „ 

5. Stormy. Did nothing out of doors. 

This method of keeping a journal was continued 
for many years; and only discontinued, because it 
was found useless. A better and more useful sort 
of journal for these four days, would have read 
something like the following. 

1813. 

July 2. Our haying season commenced. How 
fond I am of this employment I How 
useful an article hay is, too, especially 
in this climate, during our long and 
cold winters! We have fine weather 
to begin with, and I hope it will con- 
tinue. 



KEEPING A JOURNAL. 225 



Continuation of the suhject of keeping journals. 

I think a very great improvement 
might be made in our rakes. Why 
need they be so heavy for light rak- 
ing? We could take up the heavier 
ones when it became necessary. 
July 3. To-day I have worked rather too hard 
in order to get in some of our hajr, for 
there is a prospect of rain. I am not 
quite sure, however, but I hurt myself 
more by -drinking too much cold wa- 
ter than by over-working. Will try to 
do better to-morrow. 
4. Have heard a few cannon fired, and a 
spouting oration delivered, and seen a 
few toasts drank; and what does it all 
amount to? Is this way of keeping the 
day of independence really useful? J 
doubt it. Who knows but the value of 
the wine which has been drank, ex- 
pended among the poor, would have 
done more towards real independence, 
than all this parade ? 
i> Rainy. Would it not have been better 
had I staid at home yesterday, while 
the weather was fair, and gone on with 
haying ? Several acres of father's grass 
want cutting very much. I am more 
and more sick of going to indepen- 
dence. If I live till another year, I 
hope I shall learn to ; make hay while 
the sun shines.' 



226 

Carrying a blank book and pencil. Its use. 

I selected a common agricultural employment 
to illustrate my subject, first, because 1 suppose a 
considerable proportion of my readers are farmers, 
and secondly, because it is an employment winch 
is generally supposed to furnish little or nothing 
worth recording. The latter, however, is a great 
mistake. Besides writing down the real incidents, 
that occur, many of which would be interesting, 
and some of them highly important facts, tne 
thoughts, which the circumstances and incidents 
of an agricultural life are calculated to elicit, are 
innumerable. And these should always be put 
down. They are to the mere detail of facts and 
occurrences, what leaves and fruit are to the dry 
trunk and naked limbs of a tree. The above spe- 
cimen is very dry indeed, being intended only as a 
hint. Pages, instead of a few lines, might some- 
times be written, when our leisure permitted, and 
thoughts flowed freely. 

One useful method of improving the mind, and 
preparing ourselves for usefulness, would be, to 
carry a small blank book and pencil in our pockets, 
and when any interesting fact occurred, embrace 
the first spare moment to put it down, say on the 
right hand page; and either then, or at some 
future time, place on the left hand page, onr own 
reflections about it. Some of the most useful men 
in the world owe much of their usefulness to a 
plan like this, promptly and oerseveringly followed. 



PRESERVATION OF BOOKS. 227 

VJard oFbooks. Cleanliness An anecdote. 

Quotations from books or papers might also be 
preserved in the same manner. * 

Perhaps it may be thought, at first, that this ad- 
vice is not in keeping with the caution formerly 
given, not to read as we travel about ; but if you 
reflect, you will find it otherwise. Reading as we 
travel, and at meals, and the recording of facts and 
thoughts which occur, are things as different as 
can weU be conceived. The latter creates and 
encourages a demand for close observation, the 
former discourages and even suppresses it. 

1]. PRESERVATION OF BOOKS AND PAPERS. 

Let books be covered as soon as bought. Never 
use them without clean hands. They show the 
dirt with extreme readiness, and it is not easily 
removed. I have seen books in which might be 
traced the careless thumbs and fingers of the last 
reader, for half a dozen or a dozen pages in suc- 
cession. 

I have known a gentleman — quite a literary 
man, too — who, having been careful of his books 
in his earlier years, and having recently found 
them occasionally soiled, charged the fault on those 
who occasionally visited his library. At last he 
-discovered that the coal dust (for he kept a coal fire) 

* Some persons always read with a pen or pencil in hand, 
and when a thought occurs, note it in a little book, kept 
for the purpose. 



!228 THE YOUNG MAN r S GUIDE. 



Preservation of books continued. Numerous Dad hamts 

settled on his hands, and was rubbed off upon his 
book leaves by the slight friction of his fingers upon 
the leaves in reading. 

Never wet your finger or thumb in order to turn^ 
over leaves. Many respectable people are addicted 
to this habit, but it is a vulgar one. Besides, it is 
entirely useless. The same remarks might be ap- 
plied to the habit of suffering the corners of the 
leaves to turn up, in c dog's ears. 9 Keep every leaf 
smooth, if you can. Never hold a book very near 
the fire, nor leave it in the hot sun. It injures its 
cover materially, and not a few books are in one or 
both of these ways entirely ruined. 

It is a bad practice to spread out a book with the 
back upwards. It loosens the leaves, and also 
exposes it in other respects. You will rarely find 
a place to lay it down which is entirely clean, and 
the least dust on the leaves, is readily observed. 

The plan of turning down a leaf to enable us to 
remember the place, I never liked. It indulges 
the memory in laziness. For myself, if I take 
much interest in a book, I can remember where I 
left off, and turn at once to the place without a 
mark. If a mark must be used at all, however, a. 
slip of paper, or a piece of tape or ribbon is the 
best. 

When you have done using a book for the time, 
have a place for it, and put it in its place. How 
much time and patience might be saved if this rule 
were universally followed 1 Many find it the easiest 



PRESERVATION OF BOOKS. 229 



Lesit mite use of books. Common anuses, 

thing in the world to have a place for every book in 
their library, and to keep it in its place. They can 
put their hands upon it in the dark, almost as well 
as in the light. 

Never allow yourselves to use books for any 
other purpose but reading. I have seen people 
recline after dinner and at other times, with books 
under their heads for a pillow. Others will use them 
to cover a tumbler, bowl, or pitcher. Others again 
will raise the window, and set them under the sasb 
to support it ; and next, perhaps, the book is wet 
by a sudden shower of rain, or knocked out of the 
window, soiled or otherwise injured, or lost. I 
have seen people use large books, such as the 
family-bible, or encyclopedia, to raise a seat, es- 
pecially for a child at table. 



20 



CHAPTER V. 

Social anU J£oral fintprofoement. 



Section I. Of Female Society, in general. 

No young man is fully aware how much he is 
indebted to female influence in forming his charac- 
ter. Happy for him if his mother and sisters were 
his principal companions in infancy. I do not 
mean to exclude the society of the father, of course ; 
but the father's avocations usually call him away 
from home, or at least from the immediate presence 
of his children, for a verv considerable proportion 
of his time. 

It would be easy to show, without the possibility 
of mistake, that it is those young men who are shut 
out either by accident or design, from female so- 
ciety, that most despise it. And on this account, I 
cannot but regret the supposed necessity which 
prevails of having separate schools for the two 
sexes ; unless it were professional ones — I mean 
for the study of law, medicine, &c. There is yet 
too much practical Mohammedanism and Paganism 
in our manner of educating the young. 

If we examine the character and conduct of 



FEMALE SOCTETT. 231 



Influence of woman. Folly of overlooking it. 



woman as it now is, and as history shows it to 
have been in other periods of the world, we shall 
see that much of the good and evil which has fallen 
upon mankind has been through her influence. 
We may see that man has often been influenced 
directly by the soft warning words, or the still more 
powerful weapons — tears — of woman, to do that 
to which whole legions of soldiers never could 
have driven him. 

Now the same influence which is exerted by 
mothers and wives is also exerted, in a smaller de- 
gree, by sisters ; and indeed by the female sex gen- 
erally. When, therefore, I find a young man pro- 
fessing a disregard for their society, or frequent- 
ing only the worst part of it, I always expect to 
find in him a soul which would not hesitate long, 
in the day of temptation, to stoop to vicious if not 
base actions. Who would despise the fountain at 
which he is refreshed daily? Above all, who 
would willingly contaminate it? But how much 
better than this is it to show by our language, as 
well as deeds, that we hold this portion of the 
world in disdain ; and only meet with them, if we 
meet them at all, to comply with custom, or for 
purposes still more unworthy ; instead of seeking 
their society as a means of elevating and ennobling 
the character? 

When, therefore, a young man begins to affect 
the ioit, and to utter sarcasms against the female 
character, it may be set down as a mark, either of 



232 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Mistake of certain young men. Influences. 



a weak head, or a base heart ; for it cannot be good 
sense or gratitude, or justice, or honorable feeling 
of any kind. There are indeed nations, it is said, 
where a boy, as soon as he puts off the dress of a 
child, beats his mother, to show his manhood. 
These people live in the interior of Africa, and 
there let them remain. Let us be careful that we 
do not degrade the sex, in the same manner, by 
disrespectful language, or actions, or thoughts. We 
should ' think no evil,' on this subject ; for let 
it never be forgotten, that our own happiness and 
elevation of character must ever be in exact propor- 
tion to that of females. Degrade them, and we de- 
grade ourselves; neglect to raise their moral and 
intellectual condition as much as possible, and you 
neglect the readiest and most certain means of 
promoting, in the end, your own comfort and hap- 
piness. 

If any of your elder associates defame the sex, 
you can hardly be mistaken when you suspect 
them of having vitiated their taste for what is ex- 
cellent in human character by improper intimacies, 
or still more abominable vices. The man who 
says he has never found a virtuous female charac- 
ter, you may rely upon it, cannot himself be vir- 
tuous. 

In civilized society much of our time must 
necessarily be spent among females. These asso- 
ciations will have influence upon us. Either they 
are perpetually improving our character, or, on 



FEMALE SOCIETY. 233 



Habitual society of females. Its salutary effects. Protection. 

the other hand, by increasing our disregard or 
disgust, debasing it. Is it not wisdom, then, to 
make what we can of the advantages and oppor- 
tunities which their society affords us? 

The very presence of a respectable female will 
often restrain those from evil whose hearts are full 
of it. It is not easy to talk or to look obscenely, or 
even to behave with rudeness and ill manners un- 
der such restraint. Who has not seen the jarring 
and discordant tones of a company of rude men 
and boys hushed at once by the sudden arrival of 
a lady of dignified manners and appearance? 

The frequent, the habitual society of one whom 
a youth respects, must have a happy tendency to 
make him love honorable conduct; and restrain 
his less honorable feelings. Frequent restraint 
tends to give the actual mastery; therefore every 
approach towards this must be of great value. 
There is a delicacy, too, in female society, wl.ich 
serves well to check the boisterous, to tame the 
brutal, and to embolden the timid. Whatever be 
the innate character of a youth, it may be polished, 
and exalted, by their approbation. He must be 
unusually hardened that can come from some 
shameful excess, or in a state of inebriety, into the 
company of the ladies. 

Sometimes a diffident youth has been taken un- 
der the pi'otedion, if it may be so called, of a con- 
siderate and respectable woman. A woman of 
proper dignity of manners and character, especial- 



234 



THE YOUNG MANS GUIDE. 



Choce of female society. Friendship of a mother. 



ly with a few years' advantage, can do this with- 
out the least injury to herself, and without step- 
ping a hair's breadth beyond the bounds which 
should surround her sex. Happy is the young 
man who enjoys a fostering care so important ; 
he may learn the value of the sex ; learn to dis- 
criminate among them, to esteem many of them, 
and prize their approbation ; and in time, deserve 
it. It is obvious that the favor of silly, flirting 
girls, (and there are some such) is not what I am 
here recommending. 

Where the character of such society is pure, 
where good sense, cultivation, intellect, modesty, and 
superior age, distinguish the parties, it is no small 
honor to a young man to enjoy it. Should he be 
conscious that epithets of a different and of a con- 
trary quality belong to them, it is no honor to him 
to be their favorite. He must be like them, in 
some degree, or they would not approve him. 

Section II. Advice and Friendship of Mothers, 

When you seek female society for the sake of 
improvement, it is proper you should begin where 
nature begun with you. You have already been 
encouraged to respect your mother; I go a step 
farther; aW say, Make her your friend. Unless 
your own misconduct has already been very great, 
she will not be so far estranged from you, as not to 
rejoice at the opportunity of bestowing that atten- 



ADVICE OF MOTHERS. 235 



Her tact in discriminating character. Never despise her opinion. 

tion to you which the warmest wishes for your 
welfare would dictate. If your errors have, on the 
contrary, created a wide distance between you, 
endeavor to restore the connection as soon as pos- 
sible. I do not undervalue a father's counsel and 
guidance ; yet however excellent his judgment 
may be, your mother's opinion is not only a help 
to your c *vn ; but as a ivoman's, it has its peculiar 
character, and may have its appropriate value. 
Women sometimes see at a glance, what a man 
must go round through a train of argument to 
discover. Their tact is delicate, and therefore 
quicker in operation. Sometimes, it is true, their 
judgment will not only be prompt, but premature. 
Your own judgment must assist you here. Do 
not, however, proudly despise your mother's; — 
but examine it. It will generally well repay the 
trouble; and the habit of consulting her will in- 
crease habits of consideration, and self command ; 
and promote propriety of conduct. 

If a mother be a woman of sense, why should 
you not profit by her long exercised intelligence? 
Nay, should she even be deficient in cultivation, or 
in native talent, yet her experience is something, 
and her love for you will, in part, make up for such 
deficiency. It cannot be worthiness to despise, 
or wisdom to neglect your mother's opinion. 



$36 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Elder sisters. Their influence. Learn to respect tliemv 



Section III. Society of Sisters. 

Have you a sister ? — Have you several of them ? 
Then you are favorably situated ; especially if one 
of them is older than yourself. She has done 
playing with dolls, and you with bats and balls. 
She is more womanly ; her carriage becomes dig- 
nified. Do not oblige her, by your boyish beha- 
vior, to keep you at a distance. Try to deserve 
the character of her friend. She will sometimes 
look to you for little services, which require strength 
and agility; let her look up to you for judgment, 
steadiness, and counsel too. You may be mutual- 
ly beneficial. Your affection, and your intertwin- 
ing interest in each other's welfare, will hereby be 
much increased. 

A sister usually present, is that sort, of second 
conscience, which, like the fairy ring, in an old 
story, pinches the wearer whenever he is doing 
any thing amiss. Without occasioning so much 
awe as a mother, or so much reserve as a stranger, 
her sex, her affection, and the familiarity between 
you will form a compound of no small value in 
itself, and of no small influence, if you duly re- 
gard it, upon your growing character. Never for 
one moment suppose that a good joke at which a 
sister blushes, or turns pale, or even looks anxious. 
If you should not at first perceive what there is 
in it which is amiss, it will be well worth your 



SOCIETY OF SISTERS. 237 



Common civilities. Their advantages, even to yourself. 

while to examine all over again. Perhaps a sin- 
gle glance of her eye will explain your incon- 
siderateness ; and as you value consistency and 
propriety of conduct, let it put you on your guard. 
There is a sort of attention due to the sex which 
is best attained by practising at home. Your 
mother may sometimes require this attention, your 
sisters still oftener. Do not require calling, or teas- 
ing, or even persuading to go abroad with them 
when their safety, their comfort, or their respecta- 
bility require it. It is their due; and stupid or un- 
kind is he who does not esteem it so. In perform- 
ing this service, you are only paying a respect 
to yourself. Your sister could, indeed, come home 
alone, but it would be a sad reflection on you 
were she obliged to do so. Accustom yourself, 
then, to wait upon her; it will teach you to wait 
upon others by and by; and in the meantime, it 
will give a graceful polish to your character. 

It will be well for you, if your sisters have 
young friends whose acquaintance with them may 
bring you sometimes into their society. The 
familiarity allowable with your sisters, though it 
may well prepare you to show suitable attention to 
other ladies, yet has its disadvantages. You need 
sometimes to have those present who may keep 
you still more upon your guard ; and render your 
manners and attention to them still more respect- 
ful 



388 THE YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 

Avoid extremes. Tbo great intimacy . Irs evils. 



Section IV. General Remarks and Advice. 

Never seek, then, to avoid respectable female 
society. Total privation has its dangers, as well 
as too great intimacy. One of the bad results of 
such a privation, is, that you run the risk of be 
coming attached to unworthy objects because they 
first fall in your way. Human nature is ever in 
danger of perversion. Those passions which God 
has given you for the wisest and noblest purposes 
may goad you onward, and, if they do not prove 
the occasion of your destruction in one way, they 
may in another. If you should be preserved in 
solitude, you will not be quite safe abroad. Hav- 
ing but a very imperfect conception of the different 
shades of character among the sex, you will be 
ready to suppose all are excellent who appear fair 
and all good who appear gentle. 

I have alluded to the dangers of too great inti- 
macy. Nothing here advanced is intended to 
make you a mere trifler, or to sink the dignity of 
your own sex. Although you are to respect fe- 
males because of their sex, yet there are some who 
bestow upon them a species of attention extremely 
injurious to themselves, and unpleasant and de- 
grading to all sensible ladies. 

There is still another evil sometimes resulting 
from too great intimacy. It is that you lead the 
other party to mistake your object. This mistake 



GENERAL REMARKS. 5239 



Word of caution to young men. Guard over the thoughts. 

is easily made. It is not necessary, to this end, 
that you should make any professions of attach- 
ment, in word or deed. Looks, nay even some- 
thing less than this, though it may be difficult to 
define it, may indicate that sort of preference for 
the society of a lady, that has sometimes awakened 
an attachment in her which you never suspected 
or intended. Or what is a far less evil, since it falls 
chiefly on yourself, it may lead her and others to 
ridicule you for what they suppose to be the result, 
on your part, of intention. 

Let me caution you, then, if you would obey the 
golden rule of doing to others as you would wish 
others should do to you, in the same circumstances, 
and if you value, besides this, your own peace, to 
beware of injuring those whom you highly esteem, 
by leading them by words, looks, or actions, to that 
misapprehension of your meaning which may be 
the means of planting thorns in their bosoms, if not 
in your own. 

There is another error to which I wish to call 
your attention, in this place, although it might 
more properly be placed under the head, Seduction. 
I allude to the error of too great familiarity with 
others, after your heart is already pledged to a 
particular favorite. Here, more, if possible, than 
in the former case, do you need to set a guard over 
all your ways, words, and actions; and to resolve, 
in the strength, and with the aid of Divine grace, 
that you will never deviate from that rule of con- 



240 



THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Avoid anglers. Triflers. The artful and manoeuvring. 

duct toward others, — which Divine Goodness has 
given, as the grand text to the book of human duty. 

The general idea presented in the foregoing sec- 
tions, of what a woman ought to be, is sufficient to 
guide you, with a little care in the application. 
Such as are forward, soon become tedious. Their 
character is what no man of taste will bear. Some 
are even anglers, aiming to catch gudgeons by every 
look; placing themselves in attitudes to allure the 
vagrant eye. Against such it is quite unnecessary 
that I should warn you ; they usually give you suf- 
ficient notice themselves. The trifler can scarcely 
amuse you for an evening. The company of a lady 
who has nothing to say but what rs commonplace, 
whose inactive mind never for once stumbles upon 
an idea of its own, must be dull, as a matter of 
course. You can learn nothing from her, unless it 
be the folly of a vacant mind. Come away, lest you 
catch the same disorder. 

The artful and manoeuvring, on the contrary, 
will, at a glance, penetrate your inmost mind, and 
become any thing which they perceive will be 
agreeable to you. 

Should your lot be cast where you can enjoy the 
society of a few intelligent, agreeable, and respect- 
able females, remember to prize the acquisition. 
If you do not derive immense advantage from it, 
the fault must be your own. Jf, in addition to the 
foregoing qualifications, these female friends hap- 
pen to have had a judicious and useful, rather than 



SOCIAL MEETINGS. 241 



Beware of idolatiy. Means of social improvement. 

a merely polite education, your advantages are 
doubly valuable. 

The genial influence of such companions must 
unavoidably be on the side of goodness and pro- 
priety. Lovelines of mind will impart that agree- 
ableness of person which recommends to the heart 
every sentiment, gives weight to every argument, 
justifies every opinion, and soothes to recollection 
and recovery those who, were they reproved by 
any other voice, might have risen to resistance, or 
sunk into despair. The only necessary caution in 
the case is, 'Beware of idolatry. 1 Keep yourself 
>elear from fascination, and call in the aid of your 
severest judgment to keep your mind true to your- 
self, and to principle, 

Section V. Lyceums and other Social Meetings. 

The course of my remarks has given occasion, 
In several instances, to speak of the importance of 
lyceums as a means of mental and social improve- 
ment. It will not be necessary therefore, in this 
place, to dwell, at length, on their importance. My 
principal object will be to call your attention to 
the subject in general, and urge it upon your con- 
sideration. I hope no young person who reads 
these pages, will neglect to avail himself of the ad- 
vantages which a good lyceum affords; or if there 
are none of that character within his reach, let him 
snake unremitting efforts till one exists. 
21 



242 THE YOUNG MAN ? S GUIDE. 



Lyceums. Their importance. Proper subjects to bring before theiRi, 

Although these institutions are yet in their in- 
fancy, and could hardly have been expected to ac- 
complish more within the same period than they 
have, it is hoped they will not hereafter confine 
their inquiries so exclusively to matters of mere 
intellect, as has often been done. There are other 
subjects nearer home, if I may so say, than these. 
How strangely do mankind, generally, stretch their 
thoughts and inquiries abroad to the concerns of 
other individuals, states and nations, and forget them- 
selves, and the objects and beings near by them, 
and their mutual relations, connections, and depen- 
dencies ! 

Lyceums, when they shall have obtained a firm- 
er footing among us, may become a most valuable 
means of enlightening the mass of the community, 
in regard to the structure and laws of the human 
body, and its relation to surrounding objects ; of 
discussing the philosophy of dress, and its different 
materials for different seasons; of food, and drink, 
and sleep and exercise; of dwellings and other 
buildings; of amusements and employments; — in 
short, of the ten thousand little tilings, as many call 
them, which go to make up human life, with its en- 
joyments or miseries. These things have been sur- 
prisingly overlooked by most men, for the sake of 
attending to others, whose bearing on human hap- 
piness, if not often questionable, is at least more 
remote. 

Jn some of our larger cities there are respectable 



MORAL INSTRUCTION. 243 

Rending rooms. Libraries. Lectures. Moral improvement. 

courses of useful lectures established during the 
months of winter, and sometimes throughout the 
year. Added to this are reading-rooms, and vari- 
ous sorts of libraries, which are accessible for a 
small sum, and sometimes for almost nothing. 
There have been three valuable courses of Franklin 
Lectures delivered in Boston, during the three last 
winters, of twenty lectures each, for only fifty cents 
a course. In most large towns, benevolent and 
spirited individuals might establish something of 
the same kind, at least every winter. 



Section VI. Moral Instruction, 

It was not my intention, at first, to say a single 
word, directly, on the subject of religion, but ] 
should leave this chapter very incomplete indeed, 
as well as do violence to my own feelings, should I 
say nothing at all of Bible classes, and other means 
of religious instruction, with which the age, and 
especially this part of the country abounds, not only 
on Sundays, but during the long evenings of leisure 
which, for a part of the year, many young men 
enjoy. 

Viewed merely as a means of improving the 
mindy and acquiring much authentic historical in- 
formation to be found nowhere else, the study of 
the Bible is a most valuable exercise, and ought to 
be encouraged. To adults who labor, a walk to 
church, and prompt attention to the Bible lesson, is 



244 THE YOUNG MAN'S GDIDE. 



Bible instruction. JViatnm ny to be kept in view. 

happily adapted to the health of the body, no less 
than to intellectual improvement; and whatever 
objections might be urged against subjecting in- 
fants and young children who attend other schools 
during the week, to the present routine of Sabbath 
instruction, I am quite sure that the class of young 
persons for whom I am writing, would derive the 
most lasting benefit from studying the Bible. 

I have made these remarks on the presumption 
that they were to derive no moral improvement 
from Bible instruction. However, I see not how 
these schcols can be long attended by ingenuous 
minds without inspiring a respect, at the least, for 
that book which is superior to all other books, and 
for that religion which it inculcates; which is above 
all sect, and beyond all price. 

Section VII. Of Female Society in reference to 
Marriage. 

It is now time to consider the subject of female 
society in reference to matrimony. I shall find it 
necessary, however, to make a division of my sub- 
ject, reserving a more complde view of female quali- 
fications for a succeeding chapter. 

Whatever advice may be given to the contrary 
by friends or foes, it is my opinion that you ought 
to keep matrimony steadily in view. For this end, 
were it for no other, you ought to mingle much in 
society. Never consider yourself complete with- 



FEMALE SOCIETY. 045 

Cautions. Honorable attachments. Anecdote of John New ton. 

out this other half of yourself. It is too much the 
fashion among young men at the present day to 
make up their minds to dispense with marriage; — 
an unnatural, and therefore an unwise plan. Much 
of our character, and most of our comfort and hap- 
piness depend upon it. Many have found this out 
too late ; that is, after age and fixed habits had partly 
disqualified them for this important duty. 

All that has been hitherto said of female influence 
bears upon this point.. According to the character 
of the person you select, in a considerable degree, 
wiil be your own. Should a mere face fascinate 
you to a doll, you will not need much mental 
energy to please her ; and the necessity of exertion 
on this account being small, your own self will 
sink, or at least not rise, as it otherwise might do. 

But were I personally acquainted with you, and 
should I perceive an honorable attachment taking 
possession of your heart, I should regard it as a 
happy circumstance. Life then has an object. 
The only thing to be observed is that it be managed 
with prudence, honor, and good sense 

The case of John Newton is precisely in point. 
In very early life this man formed a strong attach- 
ment to a lady, under circumstances which did not 
permit him to make it known ; which was probably 
well for both parties. It did not diminish her hap- 
piness, so long as she remained in ignorance on the 
subject ; and in scenes of sorrow, suffering, and 
temptation, the hope of one day obtaining her 



!246 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Desire to marry. Tt» tendency to elevate the youthful character, 

soothed him, and kept him from performing many 
dishonorable actions. 'The bare possibility,' he 
says, 'of seeing her again, was the only obvious 
means of restraining me from the most horrid de- 
signs, against myself and others.' 

The wish to marry, if prudently indulged, will 
lead to honest and persevering exertions to obtain 
a reasonable income — one which will be satisfac- 
tory to the object of your hopes, as well as to her 
friends. He who is determined on living a single 
life, very naturally contracts his endeavors to his 
own narrow personal wants, or else squanders 
freely, in the belief that he can always procure 
enough to support himself. Indeed it cannot have 
escaped even the careless observer that in propor- 
tion as an individual relinquishes the idea of matri- 
mony, just in the same proportion do his mind and 
feelings contract. On the contrary, that hope which 
aims at a beloved partner — a family — a fireside, — 
will lead its possessor to activity in all his conduct. 
It will elicit his talents, and urge them to their full 
energy, and probably call in the aid of economy; 
a quality so indispensable to every condition of life. 
The single consideration, 'What would she think 
were she now to see me?' called up by the obtru- 
sion of a favorite image, — how often has it stimu- 
lated a noble mind and heart to deeds which other- 
wise had never been performed! 

I repeat it, I am aware that this advice is liable 
to abuse. But what shall be done ? Images of 



FEMALE IOCIETT. 247 



/ erman. 



some sort will haunt the mind roc —female 

influence I r> some shape or other will operate. Is 

it not better to /matiori a virtuous di- 

e it to range without controi.au I 

■ •"//:< 

I repeat it, nothing is better calculated to pre- 

contamination of low 

and pursuits, thai rrt intercourse 

iid I irtuous of the other 

i of a gentleman, — general 
it; — nor his mind 

and ,ti merits of a 

t then, I again say, to spend 

e portion of r life in the 

. At all 
the exd 
of jour own sex. The doeti n of 

oikude, would 
■ _ • , leldom or 

in femab 

as not to have 
i ;jetjr 
would, in these pointf .he profitable to 

you. do not be in haste to mix with the ignorant 
and vulgar; but wait patiently till your own indus- 
try and good conduct shall give you admi 
to better circles: and in the meantime cultivate 
mind by reading and thinking, so that \ 
actually gain admission to 



248 THE YOUNG Man's GUIDE. 



Avoia si. liness. Fltttery. Pedantry. Egotisms 

may know how to prize and enjoy it. Remembeiy 
too, that you are not to be so selfish as to think 
nothing of contributing to the happiness of others.. 
It is blessed to give as well as to receive. 

When you are in the company of ladies, beware 
of silliness. It is true that they will sooner for- 
give foolishness than ill manners, but you will, of 
course, avoid both. I know one young gentle- 
man of great promise, who adopted the opinion 
that in order to qualify himself for female society,, 
he had only to become as foolish as possible, while 
in their presence. That young man soon lost the 
favor of all whose friendship might have operated 
as a restraint; but unwilling to associate with the* 
despicable, and unable to live in absolute solitude^ 
he chose the bottle for his companion ; and made- 
himself, and the few friends he had r miserable. 

Nothing, unless it be the coarsest flattery, will 
give more offence, in the end, than to treat ladies 
as mere playthings or children. On- the other handy 
do not become pedantic, and lecture them on dif- 
ficult subjects. They readily see through all this. 
Neither is it good manners or policy to talk much 
of yourself. They can penetrate this also; and they 
despise the vanity which produces it. In detect- 
ing deception, they are often much quicker than 
we apprehend, 

A young gentleman, in one of the New England 
States, who had assumed the chair of the peda- 
gogue, paid his addresses to the beautiful and sen- 



FEMALE SOCIETY, 24tt 

An anecdote. Be modest and re spectful. Female innocence . 

«ible daughter of a respectable farmer. One day, 
as she was present in his school, he read to her a 
hymn, which he said was from his own pen, Now 
it was obvious to this lady, and even to some of 
the pupils, that the hymn was none other than that 
usually known by the name of the ' Harvest Hymn,' 
modified by the change of a few words only. How 
much effect this circumstance might have had I 
cannot say with certainty ; but I know it disgusted 
one, at least, of the pupils; and I know, too, that 
his addresses to the lady were soon afterwards dis- 
continued. 

A young man who would profit from the society 
of young ladies, or indeed from any society, must 
preserve a modest and respectful spirit; must seek 
to conciliate their good will by quiet and unos- 
tentatious attentions, and discover more willing- 
ness to avail himself of their stock of information, 
than to display his own knowledge or abilities. 

He should observe, and learn to admire, Hiat 
purity and ignorance of evil, which is the charac- 
teristic of well-educated young ladies, and which, 
while we are near them, raises us above those sor- 
did and sensual considerations which hold such 
eway over men, in their intercourse with each other. 
lie should treat them as spirits of a purer sphere, 
and try to be as innocent, if not as ignorant of evil 
as they are; remembering that there is no better 
way of raising himself in the scale of intellectual 
and moral being. Hut to whatever degree of in- 



250 THE YOUNG MA.v's GUIDE. 



Proper topics (if conversation. Studying the same book. 

timacy be may arrive, be should never forget those 
little acts of courtesy and kindness, as well as that 
respect, and self-denial, which lend a charm to 
every kind of polite intercourse, and especially to 
that of which I am now speaking. 

Whenever an opportunity occurs, however, it is 
the duty of a young man to introduce topics of 
conversation which are decidedly favorable to 
mental and moral improvement. Should he hap- 
pen to be attending to the same study, or reading 
the same book with a female acquaintance, an ex- 
cellent opportunity will be afforded for putting this 
rule in practice. 



CHAPTER VI. 



Section I. Why Matrimony is a Duly. 

Matrimony is a subject of high importance and 
interest. It is important, because it was among 
the earliest institutions of the great Creator; be- 
cause it has always existed in some form or other, 
and must continue to exist, or society cannot be 
sustained ; and because in proportion as the ends 
of the Creator are answered by its establishment, 
just in the same proportion does the happiness of 
society rise or falL It points out the condition of 
society in this respect as accurately as a thermome- 
ter shows the temperature of the surrounding at- 
mosphere. I might even go farther, and say, that 
in proportion as the original and real ends of mar- 
riage are answered, do the interests of religion also 
rise or sink. * 

This institution is peculiarly interesting from the 

* Some of the topics of this section have been anticipated, 
in part, in a previous chapter; but their importance en- 
titles them to a farther consideration. 



252 THE YOUNG TMAN T S GUIDE. 

Matrimony a school of instruction Compared with other schools 



fact that it involves so many items of human hap- 
piness. We often speak of the value of friendship* 
What friendship like that which results from a 
happy union of the sexes ? We talk of education* 
W r hat school so favorable to improvement as the 
domestic circle may be rendered ? Whether we 
consider education in a physical, mental or moral 
point of view, all its plans are imperfect without 
this. No man or woman is, as a general rule, fully 
prepared for the humblest sphere of action on 
earth, without the advantages which are peculiar 
to this institution. Nor has any man done his 
whole duty to God, who has left this subject out of 
consideration. 

It has sometimes been said, and with much truth, 
that 'no unmarried person was ever thoroughly 
and completely educated.' It appears to me that 
were we to consider the intellectual and physical 
departments of education, merely, this would be 
true ; but how much more so when we take in mo- 
rals ? Parents, — teachers, — what are they ? Their 
labors are indeed of infinite value, in themselves 
considered; but it is only in a state of matrimony, 
it is only when we are called to the discharge of 
those multiplied duties which are involved in the 
endearing relations of husband, wife, parent and 
guardian, that our characters are fully tested and 
established. Late in life as these relations com- 
mence, the circumstances which they involve are 
so peculiar that they modify the character of the 



WHY MATRIMONY IS A DUTY. 253 



Permanency of the teachers. Early rnarri 



parties much more than lias usually been consid- 
ered. 

I am fond, therefore, of contemplating the mar- 
ried state as a school; — not merely lor a short 
term, but for life; — not one whose teachers are 
liable to be changed once or twice a year to the 
great disadvantage of all who are concerned, but 
whose instructors are as permanent as the school 
itself. It is true, that like other schools, it may 
result in the formation of bad character; but in 
proportion to its power to accomplish either good 
or bad results, will be its value, if wisely improved. 

It is not to be denied that this view of the sub- 
ject is in favor of early marriage. And I can truly 
say, indeed, that every thing considered, early mar- 
riage does appear to me highly desirable. And it 
would require stronger arguments than any which 
I have yet seen adduced, even by some of our 
political economists, to make me surrender this 
opinion. 

The only serious objection, of a popular kind, 
to early marriage, arises from the difficulty of sup- 
porting a family. But the parties themselves must 
be supported at all events, whether married or 

single. 'But the consequences' And what 

are the consequences ? An earlier family, indeed ; 
but not of necessity a larger. I believe that facts 
will bear me out in stating that the sum total of 
the progeny of every thousand families who com- 
mence at from twenty-rive to thirty, is as great as 
-22 



254 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Facts in re'a ion to early marriages Some pninftil ease9> 

that of one thousand who begin at from twenty to 
twenty -five. I have even seen pretty large families 
where the eldest was thirty-five years younger than 
both the parents; and one or two instances of nu- 
merous families where marriage did not take place 
till the age of forty. Physiologists have long ob- 
served this singular fact, and it has sometimes been 
explained by saying, if indeed it be an explanation, 
that Nature, in these cases, unwilling to be cheated 
out of her rights, endeavors to make up in energy 
and activity what has been lost in time. 

The question, however, will recur, whether fam- 
ilies, though equally large, cannot be better main- 
tained when marriage is deferred to a later period. 
And it certainly is a question of immense impor- 
tance. For nothing is more painful than to see 
large families, whose parents, whether young or 
more advanced, have not the means of educating 
them properly. It is also not a little painful to find 
instances of poverty so extreme that there is abso- 
lute suffering, for want of food and clothing. 

But the question must be determined by facts. 
And it would be greatly aiding the cause of hu- 
manity if extensive comparisons were made be- 
tween the pecuniary condition of those who marry 
early and those who defer the subject to a later 
period. But from my own limited observation I 
am fully of opinion that the result of the compar- 
ison would be greatly in favor of early marriages. 
Should this prove to be true, the position which I 



WHY MATRIMONY IS A DITY. 255 



Objections to early marriage considered. 



have assumed is, I think, established ; for it appears 
to me that no other argument for delay has any 
claim to our notice. 

On the other hand, the following, among other 
evils, are the results of deferring marriage. 

1. The temper and habits of the parties become 
stiff and unyielding when advanced in life, and 
they learn to adapt themselves to each other with 
difficulty. In the view which I have taken above 
they become miserable as teachers, and stiil more 
miserable as scholars. 

2. Youth are thus exposed to the danger of 
forming habits of criminal indulgence, as fatal to 
the health and the character, as they are ruinous 
to the soul. 

3. Or if they proceed not so far, they at least 
acquire the habit of spending time in vain or per- 
nicious amusements. All mankind must and will 
seek for gratifications of some sort or other. And 
aside from religious principle, there is no certain 
security against those amusements and indulgen- 
ces which are pernicious and destructive, but 
early and virtuous attachments, and the pleasures 
afforded by domestic life. He can never want for 
amusement or rational gratification who is sur- 
rounded by a rising family for whom he has a 
genuine affection. 

4. Long continued celibacy contracts the mind, 
if it does not enfeeble it. For one openhearted 
liberal old bachelor, you will find ten who are par- 



256 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Bachelors not the most useful members of society. 



simonious, avaricious, cold-hearted, and too often 
destitute of those sympathies for their fellow be- 
ings which the married life has a tendency to elicit 
and perpetuate.* 

* I know this principle is sometimes disputed. A late 
English writer, in a Treatise on Happiness, at page 251 
of Vol. II, maintains the contrary. He quotes from Lord 
Bacon, that c Unmarried men are the best friends, best mas- 
ters, and best servants,' and that i The best works, and of 
greatest merit for the public, have proceeded from unmarried 
or childless men.' He also introduces Jeremy Taylor, as 
saying that l Celibacy, like a fly in the heart of an apple, 
dwells in perpetual sweetness. 5 

In commenting upon these remarks, this writer says, 
* One half of the most eminent persons that have ever lived 
in the world of science and literature, have remained un- 
marrie 1,' and ' in the connubial state, too frequently, the 
sympathies are connected within the family circle, while 
there is little generosity or philanthropy beyond.' And lastly, 
that ' Unmarried men possess many natural excellences, 
which if not engrossed by a family will be directed towards 
their fellow creatures.' 

Now it is admitted that many eminent men, especially in 
science and literature, have been bachelors; and that among 
them were Newton and Locke. Rut this only proves that 
while thousands and tens of thousands of their fellow be- 
ings spent their lives in insignificance, for want of a definite 
object to live for, these men, having an object before them, 
accomplished something. And if you could induce one 
single man in a thousand, nay, one in ten thousand, to 
make a similar use of his exemption from the cares of a 
family, much might be expected from celibacy; or at least. 



WHY MATRIMONY IS A DUTY. J257 



The general principle considered. Franklin's opinion. 

5. Franklin says that late marriages are attended 
with another inconvenience, viz.; that the chance 
of living to see our children educated, is greatly 
diminished. 

6. But I go much farther than I have hitherto 
done, and insist that other things being equal, the 

die results of their labors might be a partial compensation 
to society for the evil tendency of their example. For 
marriage cannot be denied to be an institution of God, . 
and indispensable to the existence of society. And who 
can say that he has purchased an indulgence to disobey a 
law which is in some respects paramount' to every other, 
however great the price he may have paidl 

That marriage tends to concentrate our sympathies within 
the family circle, I do not believe. A proper investigation 
of the subject will, 1 am certain, prove this assumption 
unfounded. Facts do not show unmarried men to be c best 
friends, masters, servants ' &c. ; and I am sorry to find such 
a theory maintained by any sensible writer: Some of the 
illustrious examples of celibacy which are usually broughl, 
were by no means estimable for their social feelings or 
habits. What would become of mankind, if they were all to 
immure themselves in dungeons, or what is nearly the same 
thing to social life, among books and papers 1 Better, by 
far, to remain in ignorance of the material laws which 
govern the universe, than to become recluses in a world 
like this. Better even dispense with some of the lights 
which genius has struck out to enable us to read suns and 
stars, than to understand attraction in the material world, 
while we are insensible to all attractions of a moral and 
sec al kind. God has ma'e us to feel, to sympathize, and 
to love, — as well as to know. 



258 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

G irly marria'ge also favorable jn point of economy. 

young married man has the advantage in a pecu- 
niary point of view. This is a natural result from 
the fact that he is compelled to acquire habits of 
industry, frugality, and economy; and is under 
less temptation to waste his time in trifling or per- 
nicious amusements. But I may appeal to facts, 
even here. Look around you in the world, and 
see if out of a given number of single persons, say 
one thousand, of the age of thirty-five, there be 
not a greater nur iber m poverty, than of the same 
number who settled in life at twenty. 

Perhaps I ought barely to notice another objec- 
tion to these views. It is said that neither the 
mind nor the body come to full maturity so early 
as we are apt to suppose. But is complete matu- 
rity of body or mind indispensable ? I am not ad- 
vocating the practice of marrying in childhood. It 
takes sometime for the affections toward an in- 
dividual to ripen and become settled. This is a 
matter involving too high responsibilities to justify 
haste. The consequences, speaking generally, are 
not confined to this life; they extend to eternity. 

Section IT. General Considerations, 

We are now to enter on a most important part 
of our subject. Hitherto it had been my object to 
point out the proper course for you to pursue in 
reference to yourself, your own improvement, and 
consequent usefulness. In the remarks of the 



GENERAL CONSIDERATIONS. 259 



T lie g bool of matrimony. A word from Dr. Rush. 

preceding chapter, and in those which follow, you 
are regarded as seeking a companion; as anxious 
to assume new relations, such as involve new du- 
ties and new responsibilities. 

If you are successful, instead of educating your- 
self alone, you are to be concerned in improving 
the mental, moral, and social condition of two per- 
sons ; and in the end, perhaps others. You are to 
be a teacher ; you cannot avoid this station if you ; 
would. But you are also to be a learner. Dr. Rush 
says we naturally imitate the manners, and gradu- 
ally acquire the tempers of persons with whom we 
live, provided they are objects of our affection and 
respect. 'This,' he adds, 'has been observed in 
husbands and wives who have lived long and hap- 
pily together; and even in servants.' And nothing 
can be more true. 

Not only your temper and that of your compan- 
ion, but your whole character, considered as phy- 
sical, mental, and moral beings, will be mutually 
improved or injured through life. You will be 
placed, as 1 have already intimated, at a school of 
mutual instruction, which is to continue without 
vacation or change of monitors, — perhaps half a 
century; — during every one of the earliest years 
of which, your character will be more really and 
more permanently modified than in the same 
amount of time at any prior period of your edu- 
cation, unless it were in the veriest infancy. 

Surely then it is no light affair to make prepara- 



260 

Wealth, beauty, rank, &c. only secondary considerations. 

tion for a school like this. There is no period in 
the life of a young man so important; for there is 
none on which his happiness and the happiness of 
others so essentially depend. 

Before I advert to the particular qualifications 
which it is necessary for you to seek in so intimate 
a friend, I shall mention a few considerations of a 
general nature. 

Settle it, in the first place, that absolute perfec- 
tion is not to be found. There are not a few 
young men of a romantic turn of mind, fostered 
and increased by reading the fictitious writings of 
the day, who have pictured to themselves for com- 
panions in life unreal forms and angelic characters, 
instead of beings who dwell in 'houses of clay,' 
and are ' crushed before the moth.' Such 'exalt- 
ed imaginations ' must sooner or later be brought 
down : happy will it be with those who are chas- 
tened in due season. 

In the second place, resolve never to be misled 
by any adventitious circumstances. Wealth, beau- 
ty, rank, friends, &c, are all proper considerations, 
but they are not of the first importance. They are 
merely secondary qualifications. Marriage must 
never be a matter of bargain and sale : for 

In the third place, no marriage engagement 
should ever be thought of unless there is first a 
genuine and rational attachment. No cold calcu- 
lations of profit or loss, no hereditary estates or 
other adventitious circumstances, though they were 



GENERAL CONSIDERATIONS. 261 

Genuine affection. A competence. Nearly equal aye. 

equivalent to a peerage, or a realm, should ever, 
for one moment, even in thought, be substituted 
for Jove, It is treason to Him who ordained this 
most blessed institution. 

But fourthly, though wealth, however valuable 
in itself is by no means a recommendation in the 
present case, yet the means of a comfortable sup- 
port are certainly to be regarded. It is painful to 
see a very young couple, with a large family, and 
destitute of the means of support. 

In the fifth place, a suitable age is desirable. 

When we consider the varying tastes, habits and 
feelings of the same person at different periods of 
his lift j , is it not at once obvious that, other things 
being equal, those persons are most likely to find 
that happiness which is sought in matrimony, by . 
associating with those whose nge does not differ 
greatly from their own ? It is true, some of the 
happiest human connexions that ever were formed 
were between persons of widely differing ages; 
but is this the general rule? Would not those 
who have found happiness under other circum- 
stances, have been still happier, had their ages been 
more nearly equal ? 

There is little doubt that a person advanced in 
lite may lengthen his days by a connection with 
a person much younger than himself. Whether 
the life of the other party is not shortened, in an 
equal degree, at the same time, and by the same 



262 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Opinion of Spurzheim. Chateaubriand. What the Bible says* 

means, remains to be determined ; but probably it 
is so. 

Some men and women are as , old, in reality, 
whatever their years may indicate, at twenty, as 
others at twenty-five. The matrimonial connec- 
tion then may be safely formed between parties 
whose ages differ a few years; but I think that as 
a general rule, the ages of the parties ought to be 
nearly equal. 

Lastly, it was believed by a great observer of hu- 
man nature, the late Dr. Spurzheim, that no per- 
son was fit for the domestic relations who hnd not 
undergone trials and sufferings. The gay reader 
may smile at this opinion, but I can assure him 
that many wise men besides Spurzheim have 
entertained it. Chateaubriand, among others, in 
his 'Genius of Christianity,' advances the same 
opinion. Some, as we have seen, hold that no 
person can be well educated without suffering. 
Such persons, however, use the term education as 
meaning something more than a little scientific 
instruction ; — as a means of forming character. In 
this point of view no sentiment can be more true. 
Even the Bible confirms it, when it assures us, that 
the 'Captain of our Salvation was made perfect 
through sufferings.' 



MORAL EXCELLENCE. 263 



Few female atheists. Large proportion of female Christians. 

Section III. Female Qualifications for Marriage. 

1. MORAL EXCELLENCE. 

The highest as well as noblest trait in female 
character, is love to God. When we consider 
what are the tendencies of Christianity to elevate 
woman from the state of degradation to which she 
had, for ages, been subjected — when we consider 
not only what it has done, but what it is destined 
yet to do for her advancement, — it is impossible 
not to shrink from the presence of an impious, and 
above all an unprincipled atheistical female, as from 
an ungrateful and unnatural being. 

Man is under eternal obligations to Christianity 
and its Divine Author, undoubtedly; but woman 
seems to be more so. 

That charge against females which in the minds 
of some half atheistical men is magnified into a 
stigma on Christianity itself, namely that they are 
more apt to become religious than men ; and that 
we find by far the greater part of professing Chris- 
tians to be females, is in my own view one of the 
highest praises of the sex. I rejoice that their 
hearts are more susceptible than ours, and that 
they do not war so strongly against that religion 
which their nature demands. I have met with but 
one female, whom T knew to be an avowed atheist. 

Indeed there are very few men to be found, who 
are skeptical themselves, who do not prefer pious 



264 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Common sense. Its value in a wife. Definition. 

companions of the other sex. I will not stop to 
adduce this as an evidence of the truth of our reli- 
gion itself, and of its adaptation to the wants of the 
human race, for happily it does not need it. Chris- 
tianity is based on the most abundant evidence, of 
a character wholly unquestionable. But this 1 do 
and will say, that to be consistent, young men of 
loose principles ought not to rail at females for their 
piety, and then whenever they seek for a constant 
friend, one whom they can love, — for they never 
really love the abandoned — always prefer, other 
things being equal, the society of the pious and the 
virtuous. 

2. COMMOxN SENSE. 

Next on the list of particular qualifications in a 
female, for matrimonial life, I place common sense. 
In the view of some, it ought to precede moral 
excellence. A person, it is said, who is deficient 
in common sense, is, in proportion to the imbecil 
ity, unfit for social life, and yet the same person 
might possess a kind of negative excellency, or 
perhaps even a species of piety. This view ap- 
pears to me, however, much more specious than 
sound. 

By common sense, as used in this place, J mean 
the faculty by means of which we see things as 
theif really are. It implies judgment and discrimi- 
nation, and a proper sense of propriety in regard 
to the common concerns of life. It leads us to 



DESIRE FOR IMPROVEMENT. ^65 

Thirst for improvement. No happiness without this. 

form judicious plans of action, and to be governed 
by our circumstances in such a way as will be 
generally approved. It is the exercise of reason, 
uninfluenced by passion or prejudice. To man, it 
is nearly what instinct is to brutes. It is very 
different from genius or talent, as they are com- 
monly defined ; but much better than either. It 
never blazes forth with the splendor of noon, but 
shines with a constant and useful light. To the 
housewife — but, above all, to the mother, — it is 
indispensable. 

3. DESIRE FOR IMPROVEMENT. 

Whatever other recommendations a lady may 
possess, she should have an inextinguishable thirst 
for improvement. No sensible person can be truly 
happy in the world, without this; much less quali- 
fied to make others happy. But the genuine spi- 
rit of improvement, wherever it exists, atones for 
the absence of many qualities which would other- 
wise be indispensable: in this respect resembling 
that 'charity' which covers 'a multitude of sins.' 
Without it, almost everything would be of little 
consequence, — with it, every thing else is render- 
ed doubly valuable. 

One would think that every sensible person, of 
either sex, would aspire at improvement, were it 
merely to avoid the shame of being stationary like 
the brutes. Above all, it is most surprising that 
«ny lady should be satisfied to pass a day or even 
23 



266 THE YOUNG MAN'S -GUIDE. 

Stupidity of some of both sexes. They live for pleasure. 

an hour without mental and moral progress. It 
is no discredit to the lower animals that — ' their 
little all flows in at once,' that 'in ages they no 
more can know, or covet or enjoy,' for this is the 
legitimate result of the physical constitution which 
God has given them. But it is far otherwise with 
the masters and mistresses of creation ; for 

'Were man to live coeval with the Ban, 
The patriarch pupil should be learning still,. 
And dying, leave his lessons half unlearnt.' 

There are, — I am sorry to say it — not a few 
of both sexes who never appear to breathe out one 
hearty desire to rise, intellectually or morally, with 
a view to the government of themselves or others- 
They love themselves supremely — their friends 
subordinately — their neighbors, perhaps not at all. 
But neither the love they bear to themselves or 
others even leads them to a single series of any 
sort of action which has for its ultimate object the 
inprovement of any thing higher than the condition 
of the mere animal. Dress, personal appearance, 
equipage, style of a dwelling or ks furniture, with 
no other view, however, than the promotion of 
mere physical enjoyment, is the height of their 
desires for improvement! 

Talk to them of elevating the intellect or im- 
proving the heart, and they admit it is true; but 
they go their way and pursue their accustomed 
round of folly again. The probability is, that 
though they assent to your views, they do not ud> 



DESIRE FOR IMPROVEMENT. 267 

Picture or fashionable life. An anecdote. 

derstand you. It requires a stretch of charity to 
whirl] I am wholly unequal, to believe that beings 
who ever conceived, for one short moment, of the 
height to which their natures may be elevated, 
should sink back without a single struggle, to a 
mere selfish, unsocial, animal life; — to lying in bed 
ten or twelve hours daily, rising three or four hours 
later then the sun, spending the morning in pre- 
paration at the glass, the remainder of the time 
till dinner in unmeaning calls, the afternoon in 
yawning over a novel, and the evening in the ex- 
citement of the tea table and the party, and the 
ball room, to retire, perhaps at midnight, with the 
mind and body and soul in a feverish state, to toss 
away the night in vapid or distressing dreams. 

How beings endowed with immortal souls can 
be contented to while away precious hours in a 
manner so useless, and withal so displeasing to 
the God who gave them their time for the im- 
provement of themselves and others, is to me ab- 
solutely inconceivable! Yet it is certainly done; 
and that not merely by a few solitary individuals 
scattered up and down the land ; but in some of 
our most populous cities, by considerable numbers. 

A philanthropic individual not long since under- 
took with the aid of others, to establish a weekly or 
semi-weekly gazette in one of our cities, for al- 
most the sole purpose, as I have since learned, of 
rousing the drones among her sex to benevolent 
action in some form or other, in behalf of members 



268 THE YOUNG Man's GUIDE. 



One worse condition than celibacy 



of their families, their friends or their neighbors. 
She hoped, at first, to save them from many 
hours of ennui by the perusal of her columns; 
and that their minds being opened to instruction, 
and their hearts made to vibrate in sympathy with 
the cries of ignorance, poverty, or absolute distress, 
their hands might be roused to action. But alas, 
the articles in the paper were loo long, or too dry. 
They could not task their minds to go through 
with an argument. 

Should the young man who is seeking an ' help 
meet,' ch Lace to fall in with such beings as these 
— and some we fear there are in almost every part 
of our land, — let him shun them as he would the 
'choke damp' of the cavern. 

Their society would extinguish, rather than fan 
the flame of every generous or benevolent feeling 
that might be kindling in his bosom. With the 
fond, the ardent, the never failing desire to im- 
prove, physically, intellectually, and morally, there 
are few females who may not make tolerable com- 
panions for a man of sense; — without it, though 
a young lady were beautiful and otherwise lovely 
beyond comparison, wealthy as the Indies, sur- 
rounded by thousands of the most worthy friends, 
and even talented, let him beware! Better remain 
in celibacy a thousand years (could life last so long) 
great as the evil may be, than form a union with 
such an object. He should pit), and seek her refor- 
mation, if not beyond the bounds of possibility ; but 



DESIRE FOR IMPROVEMENT. 269 



A point to be early settled. Of yielding to conviction. 

love her he should not ! The penalty will be ab- 
solutely insupportable. 

One point ought to be settled, — I think unaltera- 
bly settled — before matrimony. It ought indeed 
so be settled in early life, but it is better late, per- 
haps, than never. Each of the parties should con- 
sider themselves as sacredly pledged, in all cases, to 
yield to conviction. I have no good opinion of the 
man who expects his wife to yield her opinion to 
his, on every occasion, unless she is convinced. I 
say on every occasion; for that she sometimes 
ought to do so, seems to be both scriptural and 
rational. It would be very inconvenient to call in a 
third person as an umpire upon every slight differ- 
ence of opinion between a young couple, besides 
being very humiliating. But if each maintain, with 
pertinacity, their opinion, what can be done ? It 
does seem to me that every sensible woman, who 
feels any good degree of confidence in her husband, 
will perceive the propriety of yielding her opinion 
to his in such cases, where the matter is of such a 
nature that it cannot be delayed. 

But there are a thousand things occurring, in which 
there is no necessity of forming an immediate opin- 
ion, or decision, except from conviction. I should 
never like the idea of a woman's conforming to her 
husband's views to please him, merely, without con- 
sidering whether they are correct or not. It seems 
to me a sort of treason against the God who gave 



270 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



A miserable wife. A thrice miserable husband. 



her a mind of her own, with an intention that she 
should use it.~ But it would be higher treason 
still, in male, or female, not to yield, when actual- 
ly convinced. 

4. FONDNESS FOR CHILDREN. 

Few traits of female character are more impor- 
tant than this. Yet there is much reason to be- 
lieve that, even in contemplating an engagement 
that is expected to last for life, it is almost univer- 
sally overlooked. Without it, though a woman 
should possess every accomplishment of person, 
mind, and manners, she would be poor indeed; 
and would probably render those around her mis- 
erable. I speak now generally. There may be 
exceptions to this, as to other general rules. A 
dislike of children, even in men, is an unfavorable 
omen ; in woman it is insupportable ; for it is 
grossly unnatural. To a susceptible, intelligent, 
virtuous mind, I can scarcely conceive of a worse 
situation in this world or any other, than to be 
chained for life to a person who hates children. 
You can purchase, if you have the pecuniary means, 
almost every thing but maternal love. This no 
gold can buy. Wo to the female who is doomed 
to drag out a miserable existence with a husband 
who ' can't bear children;' but thrice miserable 
is the doom of him who has a wife and a family 
of children, but whose children have no mother! 



FONDNESS FOR CHILDREN. 271 

&larriage not a lwtte.y. Anecdote of the Chinese 

If there be orphans any where in the wide world, 
they are these.* 

The more I reflect on the four last mentioned 
traits of female character, the more they rise in my 
estimation, eclipsing all others ; unless perhaps, a 
good temper. 

It is said that after every precaution, the choice 
of a wife is like buying a ticket in a lottery. If 
we were absolutely deaf and blind in the selection, 
and were so from necessity, the maxim might be 
just. But this is not so. We shut our eyes and 
stop our ears voluntarily, and then complain of the 
imperfection of our means of forming a judgment, 

* It is worthy of remark, as a well established fact, that 
the Chinese have an Isan-mon or mother, to their silk- 
worms! Her duty is, not to attend to the eggs and the 
hatchings for nature has made provision for that; but to 
take possession of the chamber where the young are depoA 
4ted; to see that it be free from * noisome smells, and all 
noises j" 5 to attend to its temperature, and to s avoid making 
a smoke, or raising a dust.' She must not enter the room 
till the is perfectly clean in person and dress, and must be 
•clothed in a very plain habit; and in order to be more sen- 
sible to the temperature of the place, her dress must contain 
uo lining. 

Nuu although every mother of children does not have the 
care of silkworms, yet she has the care of beings who are in 
some respects equally susceptible. And I trust no person who 
knows the importance of temperature, ventilation, &c. es- 
pecially to the tender infant, will be ashamed to derive an 
important lesson from the foregoing. 



272 THE YOUNG Man's GUIDE, 

On studying the bent of a young lady's mind Difficulties; 

Jn truth we impeach the goodness of Him who* 
was the author of the institution. 

No young man is worthy of a wife who has not 
sense enough to determine, even after a few inter- 
views, what the bent of a lady's mind is;. — wheth- 
er she listens with most pleasure to conversation 
which is wholly unimproving, or whether she 
gladly turns from it, when an opportunity offers,. 
to subjects which are above the petty chit-chat 
or common but fashionable scandal of the day £ 
and above all, avoids retailing it. He knows, or 
may know, without a 'seven years' acquaintance^ 
whether she spends a part of her leisure time in 
reading, or whether the whole is spent in dressing, 
visiting, or conversing about plays, actors, theatres, 
&c. And if she reads a part of the time, the fault 
must be his own, if he does not know whether 
she relishes any thing but the latest novel, or the 
most light — not to say empty — periodica!. Let 
it be remembered, then, by every young man that 
the fault is his own, if be do not give himself time y 
before he forms an engagement that is to last for 
life, to ascertain whether his friendship is to be 
formed with a person who is desirous of improve- 
ment, or with one who, living only for pleasure, 
is 'dead while she liveth.' 

You will say it is difficult to ascertain whether 
she is fond of child ren or not. But J doubt it. 
Has she then no young brothers, or sisters, or 
cousins ? Are there no children in the neighbor- 



eove of domestic life. 273 



Hints. Reflections. Love of domestic life. 



hood ? For if there are, — if there is but one, and 
she sees that individual but once a week, — tho 
feet may easily be ascertained, If she loves that 
child, the child will love her; and its eye will 
brighten when it sees her, or hears her name men- 
tioned. Children seldom fail to keep debt and 
credit in these matters, and they know how to 
balance the account, with great ingenuity. 

These remarks are made, not in the belief that 
they will benefit those who are already blinded by 
fancy or passion, but with the hope that some more 
fortunate reader may reflect on the probable chances 
of happiness or misery, and pause before he leaps 
into the vortex of matrimonial discord. No home 
can ever be a happy one to any of its inmates, 
where there is no maternal love, nor any desire for 
mental or moral improvement. But where these 
exist, in any considerable degree, and the original 
attachment was founded on correct principles, there 
is always hope of brighter days, even though clouds 
at present obscure the horizon. No woman who 
loves her husband, and desires to make continual 
improvement, will long consent to render those 
around her unhappy. 

5. LOVE OF DOMESTIC CONCERNS. 

Without the knowledge and the love of domes- 
tic concerns, even the wife of a peer, is but a poor 
affair. It was the fashion, in former times, for 
ladies to understand a great deal about these things, 



274 THE YOUNG MAN T S GUIDE. 

Family management. Influence of domestics* 

and it would be very hard to make me believe that 
it did not tend to promote the interests and honor 
of their husbands. 

The concerns of a great family never can be well 
managed, if left wholly to hirelings; and there are 
many parts of these affairs in which it would be 
unseemly for husbands to meddle. Surely, no lady 
can be too high in rank to make it proper for her to 
be well acquainted with the character and general 
demeanor of all the female servants. To receive 
and give character is too much to be left to a ser- 
vant, however good, whose service has been ever 
so long, or acceptable. 

Much of the ease and happiness of the great and 
rich must depend on the character of those by 
whom they are assisted. They live under the same 
roof with them; they are frequently the children 
of their tenants, or poorer neighbors; the conduct 
of their whole lives must be influenced by the ex- 
amples and precepts which they here imbibe ; and 
when ladies consider how much more weight there 
must be in one word from them, than in ten thou- 
sand words from a person who, call her what you 
like, is still a fellow servant, it does appear strange 
that they should forego the performance of this at 
once important and pleasing part of their dnty. 

I am, however, addressing myself, in this work, 
to persons in the middle ranks of life ; and here a 
knowledge of domestic affairs is so necessary in 
every wife, that the lover ought to have it continu- 



LOVE OF DOMESTIC LIFE. 275 



$o domestics necessary in coin men life. Their inconvenience. 

ally ha his eye. Not only a knowledge of these 
affairs — not only to know how things ought to be 
done, but how to do them; not only to know what 
ingredients ought to be put into a pie or a pudding, 
but to be able to make the pie or the pudding. 

Young people, when they come together, ought 
not, unless they have fortunes, or are to do unusual 
business, to think about servants! Servants for 
what! To help them eat, and drink, and sleep? 
When they have children, there must be some help 
in a farmer's or tradesman's house, but until then, 
what call is there for a servant in a house, the mas- 
ter of which has to earn every mouthful that is 
consumed? 

Eating and drinking come three times every day; 
they must come; and, however little we may, in 
the days of our health and vigor, care about choice 
food and about cookery, we very soon get tired of 
heavy or burnt bread, and of spoiled joints of meat. 
We bear them for once or twice perhaps; but 
about the third time, we begin to lament; about the 
fifth time, it must be an extraordinary affair that 
will keep us from complaining; if the like continue 
for a month or two, we begin to repent ; and then 
adieu to all our anticipated delights. We discover, 
when it is too late, that we have not got a help- 
mate, but a burden ; and, the fire of love being 
damped, the unfortunately educated creature, w 7 hose 
parents are more to blame than she is, unless she 
resolve to learn her duty, is doomed to lead a life 



176 the YOUNG MAN r S GUIDE; 



Dutie.- belonging to every housewife. in particular situations; 

very nearly approaching to that of misery ; for, how- 
ever considerate the husband, he never can esteem 
her as he would have done, had she been skilled in 
domestic affairs. 

The mere manual performance of domestic la- 
bors is not, indeed, absolutely necessary in the 
female head of the family of professional men ; 
but, even here, and also in the case of great mer- 
chants and of gentlemen living on their fortunes, 
surely the head of the household ought to be able 
to give directions as t& the purchasing of meal,. 
salting meat, making bread, making preserves of 
all sorts ; and ought to see the things done. 

The lady ought to take care that food be well 
cooked ; that there be always a sufficient supply; 
that there be good living without waste ; and that 
in her department, nothing shall be seen inconsist- 
ent with the rank, station, and character of her 
husband. If he have a skilful and industrious 
wife, he will, unless he be of a singularly foolish 
turn, gladly leave all these things to her absolute 
dominion, controlled only by the extent of the 
whole expenditure, of which he must be the best 
judge, 

But, in a farmer's or a tradesman's family, the 
manual performance is absolutely necessary, wheth- 
er there be domestics or not. No one knows how 
to teach another so well as one who has done, and 
can do, the thing himself. It was said of a famous 
French commander, that, in attacking an enemy, 



LOVE OF DOMESTIC LIFE. 277 

Difference between yo and come. A rule. Female pi ay tilings. 

he did not say to his men 'go on,' but 'come on;' 
and, whoever has well observed the movements 
of domestics, must know what a prodigious differ- 
ence there is in the effect of the words, go and 
come. 

A very good rule would be, to have nothing to 
eat, in a farmer's or mechanic's house, that the 
mistress did not know how to prepare and to cook; 
no pudding, tart, pie or cake, that she did not know 
Low to make. Never fear the toil to her: exercise 
is good for health ; and without health there is no 
beauty. Besides, what is the labor in such a case ? 
And how many thousands of ladies, who idle away 
the day, would give half their fortunes for that 
sound sleep which the stirring housewife seldom 
fails to enjoy. 

Yet, if a young farmer or mechanic marry a girl, 
who has been brought up only to 'play music ; ' to 
draw, to sing, to waste paper, pen and ink in 
writing long and half romantic letters, and to see 
shows, and plays, and read novels ; — if a young 
man do marry such an unfortunate young creature, 
let him bear the consequences with temper. Let 
him be just. Justice will teach him tc treat her 
with great indulgence ; to endeavor to persuade her 
to learn her business as a wife ; to be patient with 
her; to reflect that he has taken her, being appriz- 
ed of her inability ; to bear in mind, that lie was, 
or seemed to be, pleased with her showy and use- 
less acquirements; and that, when the gratifica- 



278 

An unhappy companion. The wives of farmers and tradesmen* 

tion of his passion has been accomplished, he is 
unjust, and cruel, and unmanly, if he turn round 
upon her, and accuse her of a want of that know- 
ledge, which he well knew, beforehand, she did not 
possess. 

For my part, I do not know, nor can I form an 
idea of, a more unfortunate being than a girl with 
a mere boarding school education, and without a 
fortune to enable her to keep domestics, when mar- 
ried. Ofwhatwse are her accomplishments? Of 
what use her music, her drawing, and her romantic 
epistles ? If she should chance to possess a sweet 
disposition, and good nature, the first faint cry of 
her first babe drives all the tunes and all the land- 
scapes, and all the imaginary beings out of her 
head for ever. 

The farmer or the tradesman's wife has to help 
earn a provision for her children; or, at the least, 
to help to earn a store for sickness or old age. She 
ought, therefore, to be qualified to begin, at once, 
to assist her husband in his earnings. The way in 
which she can most efficiently assist, is by taking 
care of his property ; by expending his money to 
the greatest advantage ; by wasting nothing, but by 
making the table sufficiently abundant with the 
least expense. 

But how is she to do these things, unless she 
has been brought up to understand domestic af- 
fairs? How is she to do these things, if she has 
been taught to think these matters beneath her 



SOBRIETY. 279 



Where a lady is really ignorant. Importance of sobriety. 

study? How is the man to expect her to do these 
things, if she has been so bred, as to make her 
habitually look upon them as worthy the attention 
of none but low and ignorant women? 

Ignorant, indeed ! Ignorance consists in a want 
of knowledge of those things which your calling or 
state of life naturally supposes you to understand. 
A ploughman is not an ignorant man because he 
does not know how to read. If he knows how to 
plough, he is not to be called an ignorant man ; 
but a wife may be justly called an ignorant wo- 
man, if she does not know how to provide a din- 
ner for her husband. It is cold comfort for a hun- 
gry man, to tell him how delightfully his wife plays 
and sings. Lovers may live on very aerial diet, but 
husbands stand in need of something more solid ; 
and young women may take my word for it, that 
a constantly clean table, well cooked victuals, a 
house in order, and a cheerful fire, will do more 
towards preserving a husband's heart, than all the 
'accomplishments' taught in all the 6 estabJisluneiits > 
in the world without them. 

6. SOBRIETT. 

Surely no reasonable young man will expect 
sobriety in a companion, when he does not possess 
this qualification himself. But by sobriety, I do 
not mean a habit which is opposed to intoxication, 
for if that be hateful in a man, what must it be hi 
a woman ? Besides, it does seem to me that no 



280 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Sobriety means more than mere abstinence from strong drink. 

young man, with his eyes open, and his other senses 
perfect, needs any caution on that point. Drunken 
ness, downright drunkenness, is usually as incom- 
patible with purity, as it is with decency. 

Much is sometimes said in favor of a little wine 
or other fermented liquors, especially at dinner. 
No young lady, in health, needs any of these 
stimulants. Wine, or ale, or cider, at dinner* I 
would as soon take a companion from the streets, as 
one who must habitually have her glass or two of 
wine ar dinner. And this is not an opinion formed 
prematurely or hastily. 

But by the word sobriety in a young woman, 
I mean a great deal more than even a rigid absti- 
nence from a love of drink, which I do not believe 
to exist to any considerable degree, in this country, 
even in the least refined parts of it. I mean a great 
deal more than this; I mean sobriety of conduct. 
The word sober and its derivatives mean steadi- 
ness, seriousness, carefulness, scrupulous propriety of 
con luct. 

Now this kind of sobriety is of great importance 
in the person with whom we are to live con- 
stantly. Skipping, romping, rattling girls are very 
amusing where all consequences are out of the 
question , and they may, perhaps, ultimately become 
sober. But while you have no certainty of this, 
thfMe is a presumptive argument on the other side. 
To be sure, when girls are mere children, they 
are expected to play and romp like children. But 



SOBRIETY. 281 

A voice of experience. How to maintain cheerfulness. 

when they are arrived at an age which turns their 
thoughts towards a situation for life ; when they 
begin to think of having the command of a house, 
however small or poor, it is time for them to cast 
away, not the cheerfulness or the simplicity, but 
the levity of the child. 

'If I could not have found a young woman,' says 
a certain writer, 'who I was not sure possessed 
all the qualities expressed by that word sobriety, I 
should have remained' a bachelor to the end of life. 
Scores of gentlemen have, at different times, ex- 
pressed to me their surprise that I was " always in 
spirits; that nothing pulled me doivn;" and the 
truth is, that throughout nearly forty years of 
troubles, losses, and crosses, assailed all the while 
by numerous and powerful enemies, and perform- 
ing, at the same time, greater mental labors than 
man ever before performed; all those labors re- 
quiring mental exertion, and some of them mental 
exertion of the highest order, I have never known 
a single hour of real anxiety; the troubles have 
been no troubles to me ; I have not known what 
lowness of spiHts meant; and have been more gay, 
and felt less care than any bachelor that ever lived. 
"You are always in spirits!" To be sure, for why 
should 1 not be so ? Poverty, I have always set at 
defiance, and I could, therefore, defy the tempta- 
tions to riches; and as to home and children, I had 
taken care to provide myself with an inexhaustible 
store of that " sobriety " which I so strongly recom- 
mend to others. 



282 THE YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 



Renos in :.r entire confidence in a companion. Choice of one. 

'This sobriety is a title to trustworthiness ; and 
this, young man, is the treasure that you ought to 
prize above all others. Miserable is the husband 
who, when he crosses the threshold of his house, 
carries with him doubts, and fears, and suspicions. 
I do not mean suspicions of the fidelity of his wife ; 
but of her care, frugality, attention to his interests, 
and to the health and morals of his children. Mis- 
erable is the man who cannot leave all unlocked; 
and who is not sure, quite certain, that all is as safe 
as if grasped in his own hand. 

'He is the happy husband who can go away at 
a moment's warning, leaving his house and family 
with as little anxiety as he quits an inn, no more 
fearing to find, on his return, any thing wrong, than 
he would fear a discontinuance of the rising and 
setting of the sun ; and if, as in my case, leaving 
books and papers all lying about at sixes and sev- 
ens, finding them arranged in proper order, and 
the room, during the lucky interval, freed from the 
effects of his and his ploughman's or gardeuer's 
dirty shoes. Such a man has no real cares — no 
troubles; and this is the sort of life I have led. I 
have had all the numerous and indescribable de- 
lights of home and children, and at the same time, 
all the bachelor's freedom from domestic cares. 

'But in order to possess this precious trustworth- 
iness, you must, if you can, exercise your reason 
in the choice of your partner. If she be vain of 
her person, very fond of dress, fond of flattery at 



SOBRIETY. 283 



Reposing confidence in a companion. Human nature. Anecdote. 

all, given to gadding about, fond of what are called 
parties of pleasure, or coquetish, though in the least 
degree, — she will never be trustworthy; she can- 
not change her nature ; and if you marry her, you 
will be unjust, if you expect trustworthiness at her 
hands. But on the other hand, if you fiud in her 
that innate sobriety of which I have been speaking, 
there is required on your part, and that at once, 
too, confidence and trust without any limit. Con- 
fidence in this case is nothing, unless it be recipro- 
cal. To have a trustworthy wife, you must begin 
by showing her, even before marriage, that you 
have no suspicions, fears, or doubts in regard to 
her. Many a man has been discarded by a virtu- 
ous girl, merely on account of his querulous con- 
duct. All women despise jealous men, and if they 
marry them, their motive is other than that of af- 
fection.' 

There is a tendency, in our very natures, to 
become what we are taken to be. Beware then of 
suspicion or jealousy, lest you produce the very 
thing which you most dread. The evil results of 
suspicion and jealousy whether in single or mar- 
ried, public or private life, may be seen by the fol- 
lowing fact. 

A certain professional gentleman had the mis- 
fortune to possess a suspicious temper. He had 
not a better friend on the earth than Mr. C, yet by 
some unaccountable whim or other, be began of a 
sudden to suspect he was his enemy ; — and what 



284 

Picture of domestic felicity. A contrast 

was at first at the farthest possible remove from 
the truth, ultimately grew to be a reality. Had it 
not have been for his jealousy, Mr. C. might have 
been to this hour one of the doctor's wannest, and 
most confidential friends, instead of being removed 
— and in a great measure through his influence — 
from a useful field of labor. 

< Let any man observe as I frequently have,' says 
the writer last quoted, ' with delight, the excessive 
fondness of the laboring people for their children. 
Let him observe with what care they dress them 
out on Sundays with means deducted from their 
own scanty meals. Let him observe the husband, 
who has toiled, like his horse, all the week, nursing 
the babe, while the wife is preparing dinner. Let 
him observe them both abstaining from a suffi- 
ciency, lest the children should feel the pinchings 
of hunger. Let him observe, in short, the whole 
of their demeanor, the real mutual affection evinc- 
ed, not in words, but in unequivocal deeds. 

1 Let him observe these things, and having then 
cast a look at the lives of the great and wealthy, he 
will say, with me, that when a mail is choosing 
his partner for life, the dread of poverty ought to 
be cast to the winds. A laborer's cottage in a 
cleanly condition ; the husband or wife having a 
babe in arms, looking at two or three older ones, 
playing between the flower borders, going from the 
wicket to the door, is, according to my taste, the 
most interesting object that eyes ever beheld ; and 



SOBRIETY. Q85 



Another anecdote. A serious mistake. Charity. 

it is an object to be seen in no country on earth but 
England.' 

It happens, however, that the writer had not 
seen all the countries upon earth, nor even all id the 
interior of United America. There are as moving 
instances of native simplicity and substantial hap- 
piness here as in any other country ; and occa- 
sionally in even the higher classes. The wife of 
a distinguished lawyer and senator in Congress, 
never left the society of her own children, to go 
for once to see her friends abroad, in eleven years ! 
I am not defending the conduct of the husband 
who would doom his wife to imprisonment in his 
own house, even amid a happy group of children, 
for eleven years ; but the example shows, at least, 
that there are women fitted for domestic life in other 
countries besides England. 

Ardent young men may fear that great sobriety 
in a young woman argues a want of that warmth 
wliich they naturally so much desire and approve. 
But observation and experience attest to the con- 
trary. They tell us that levity is ninety-nine times 
out of a hundred, the companion of a ivant of 
ardent feeling. But the licentious never love. Their 
passion is chiefly animal. Even better women, if 
they possess light and frivolous minds, have seldom 
any ardent passion. 

1 would not, however, recommend that you 
should be too severe in judging, when the conduct 
does not go beyond mere levity, and is not border* 



286 

Another mistake corrected. Temperance of mind as well as body. 

ing on loose conduct ; for something certainly de- 
pends here on constitution and animal spirits, and 
something on the manners of the country. 

If any person imagine that the sohriety I have 
been recommending would render young women 
moping or gloomy, he is much mistaken, for the 
contrary is the fact. I have uniformly found — 
and I began to observe it in my very childhood — 
that your jovial souls, men or women, except when 
over the bottle, are of all human beings the most 
dull and insipid. They can no more exist — they 
may vegetatt — but they can no more live without 
some excitement, than a fish could live on the top 
of the Alleghany. If it be not the excitement of 
the bottle, it must be that of the tea or the coffee 
cup, or food converted into some unwholesome 
form or other by condiments; or if it be none of 
these, they must have some excitement of the in- 
tellect, for intemperance is not confined to the use 
of condiments and poisons for the body; there are 
condiments and poisons to mind and heart. In 
fact, they usually accompany each other. 

Show me a person who cannot live on plain 
and simple food and the only drink the Creator 
ever made, and as a general rule you will show me 
a person to whom the plain and the solid and the 
useful in domestic, socib 1 , intellectual, and moral life 
are insipid if not dkigustiug. * They are welcome to 
, v\ sort of labor,' mid one of these creatures — not 
rationals — this very day, to me, in relation to plain 



SOBRIETY. 28? 



Fem:iles who cannot help themselves. Unfit for matrimony 

domestic employments. — Show me a female, as 
many, alas! very many in fashionable life are now 
trained, and yon show me a person who has none 
of the qualities that fit her to be a help meet for man 
in a life of simplicity. She con Id recite well at the 
high school, no doubt ; bnt the moment she leaves 
school, she has nothing to do, and is taught to do 
nothing. I have seen girls, of this description, and 
they may be seen by others. 

Bnt what is snch a female -- one who can hardly 
help herself— good for, at home or abroad ; married, 
or single ? The moment she has not some feast, or 
party, or play, or novel, or — I know not what — 
something to keep up a fever, the moment I say that 
she has not something of this sort to anticipate or 
enjoy, that moment she is miserable. Wo to the 
young man who becomes wedded for life to a crea- 
ture of this description. She may stay at home, for 
want of a better place, and she may add one to the 
national census every ten years, but a companion, 
or a mother, she cannot be. 

I should dislike a moping melancholy creature 
as much as any man, though were I tied to such a 
thing, I could live with her; but I never could en- 
joy her society, nor but half of my own. He is 
but half a man who is thus wedded, and will ex- 
claim, in a literal sense, 'When shall I be deliver- 
ed from the body of this death ?? 

One hour, an animal of this sort is moping, es- 
pecially if nobody but her husband is preset ; «u\e 



288 THE YOUNG Man's GUIDE. 

Female avarice. Woman a help meet. Mistaken notions. 

next hour, if others happen to be present, she has 
plenty of smiles; the next she is giggling or caper- 
ing about ; and the next singing to the motion of a 
lazy needle, or perhaps weeping over a novel 
And this is called sentiment! She is a woman of 
feeling and good taste ! 

7. INDUSTRY. 

Let not the individual whose eye catches the 
word indu try, at the beginning of this division of 
my subject, condemn me as degrading females to 
the condition of mere wheels in a machine for 
money-making; for 1 mean no such thing. There 
is nothing more abhorrent to the soul of a sensible 
man than female avarice. The 'spirit of a man' 
may sustain him, while he sees avaricious and 
miserly individuals among his own sex, though the 
sight is painful enough, even here; but a female 
miser, ' who can bear ? ' 

Still if woman is intended to be a ' help meet,' 
for the other sex, I know of no reason why she 
should not be so in physical concerns, as well as 
mental and moral. I know not by what rule it is 
that many resolve to remain for ever in celibacy, 
unless they believe their companion can 'support' 
them, without labor. I have sometimes even 
doubted whether any person who makes these de- 
clarations can be sincere. Yet when I hear people, 
of both sexes, speak of poverty as a greater calamity 
than death, I am led to think that this dread of 



INDUSTRY. 289 



A loud call. Every person needs moderate exercise. 

poverty does really exist among both sexes. And 
there are reasons for believing that some females, 
bred in fashionable life, look forward to matrimony 
as a state, of such ent re exemption from care and 
labor, and of such uninterrupted ease, that they 
would prefer celibacy and even death to those du- 
ties which scripture, and reason, and common sense, 
appear to me to enjoin. 

Such persons, whatever may be their other quali- 
fications, I call upon every young man to avoid, as 
he would a pestilence. If they are really determin- 
ed to Jive and act as mere drones in society, let 
them live alone. Do not give them an -opportunity 
to spread the infection of so wretched a disease, if 
you can honestly help it. 

The woman who does not actually prefer action 
to inaction — industry to idleness — labor to ease — 
and who does not steadfastly resolve to labor mode- 
rately as long as she lives, whatever may be her 
circumstances, is unfit for life, social or domestic. 
It is not for me to say, in what form her labor shall 
be applied, except in rearing the young. But labor 
she ought —all she is able — while life and health 
lasts, at something or other ; or she ought not to 
complain if she suffers the natural penally ; and she 
ought to do it with cheerfulness. 

I like much the quaint remark of a good old 

lady of ninety. She was bred to labor, had labored 

through the whole of her long and eventful life, 

and was still at her 'wheel' 'Why,' said she, 

25 



'2 { J0 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Great objects of life. Effects of laziness. 

'people ought to strain every nerve to get property, 
as a matter of Christian duty.' 

I should choose to modify this old lady's remark, 
and say that, people ought to do all they can without 
straining their muscles or nerves ; not to get proper- 
ty, but because it is at once, their duty and their 
happiness. 

The great object of life is to do good. The great 
object of society is to increase the power to good* 
Both sexes should aim, in matrimony, at a more ex- 
tended sphere of usefulness. To increase an estate, 
merely, is a low and unworthy aim, from which 
may God preserve the rising generation. Still I 
must say, that I greatly prefer the avaricious being 
— a monster though she might be — to the stupid 
soul who would not lift a finger if she could help it, 
and who determines to fold her arms whenever she 
has a convenient opportunitj 7 . 

If a female be lazy, there will be lazy domestics, 
and, what is a great deal worse, children will ac- 
quire this habit. Every thing, however necessary 
to be done, will be put off to the last moment, and 
then it will be done badly, and, in many cases, not 
at all. The dinner will be too late; the journey or 
the visit will be tardy ; inconveniences of all sorts 
will be continually arising. There will always be a 
J>eavy arrear of things unperformed ; and this, even 
among the most wealthy, is a great evil ; for if 
they have no business imposed upon them by ne- 
cessity, they make business for themselves. Life 



INDUSTRY. 991 

flow to ascertain character. Anecdote. Kerlectiuns. 



would be intolerable without ii ; and therefore an 
indolent woman must always be an evil, be her 
rank or station what it may. 

But, who is to tell whether a girl will make an 
industrious woman? How is the pur-blind lover 
especially, to be able to ascertain whether she, 
whose smiles and dimples and bewitching lips 
have half bereft him of his senses ; how is he to 
be able to judge, from any thing that he can see, 
whether the beloved object will be industrious or 
lazy ? Why, it is very difficult ; it is a matter 
that reason has very little to do with. Still there 
are indications which enable a man, not wholly 
deprived of the use of his reason, to form a pretty 
accurate judgment in this matter. 

It was a famous story some years ago, that a 
young man, who was courting one of three sisters, 
happened to be on a visit to her, when all the three 
were present, and when one said to the others, ' I 
wonder where our needle is.' Upon which he 
withdrew, as soon as was consistent with the rules 
of politeness, resolving to think no more of a girl 
who possessed a needle only in partnership, and 
who, it appeared, was not too well informed as to 
the place where even that share was deposited. 

This was, to be sure, a very flagrant instance of 
a want of industry; for, if the third part of the 
use of a needle satisfied her, when single, it was 
reasonable to anticipate that marriage would ban- 
sh that useful implement altogether. But such 



292 THE YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 

Unfavorable indications. Temper known by manner of eating. 

instances are seldom suffered to come in contact 
with the eyes and ears of the lover. There are, 
however, as I have already said, certain rules, 
which, if attended to with care, will serve as pretty 
sure guides. 

And, first, if you find the tongue lazy, you may 
be nearly certain that the hands and feet are not 
very industrious. By laziness of the tongue I do 
not mean silence; but, I mean, a slow and soft 
utterance ; a sort of sighing out of the words, in- 
stead of spraking them ; a sort of letting the sounds 
fall out, as if the party were sick at stomach. The 
pronunciation of an industrous person is gener- 
ally quick, and distinct; the voice, if not strong, 
firm at the least. Not masculine, but as feminine 
as possible; not a croak nor a bawl, but a quick, 
distinct, and sound voice. 

One writer insists that the motion of those little 
members of the body, the teeth, are very much in 
harmony with the operations of the mind ; and 
a very observing gentleman assures me that he 
can judge pretty accurately of the temi>er, and in- 
deed of the general character of a child, by his 
manner of eating. And I have no doubt of the 
fact. Nothing is more obvious than that the tem- 
per of the child who is so greedy as to swallow 
down his food habitually, without masticating it, 
must be very different from that of him who habit- 
ually eats slowly. Hunger, I know, will quicken 
Ihe jaws in either case, but I am supposing them 
on an equal footing in this respect. 



EARLY RISING. 293 



Various mark's of industry. Evils of late rising. 

Another mark of industry is, a quick step, and a 
somewhat heavy tread, sii owing that the foot comes 
down with a hearty good will. If the body lean a 
little forward, and the eyes keep steadily in the 
same direction, while the feet are going, so much 
the better, for these discover earnestness to arrive 
at the intended point. I do not like, and I never 
liked, your sauntering, soft-stepping girls, who 
move as if they were perfectly indifferent as to the 
result. And, as to the love part of the story, who 
ever expects ardent and lasting affection from one 
of these sauntering girls, will, when too late, find 
his mistake. The character is much the same 
throughout; and probably no man ever yet saw a 
sauntering girl, who did not, when married, make 
an indifferent wife, and a cold-hearted mother; 
cared very little for, either by husband or children; 
and, of course, having no store of those blessings 
which are the natural resources to apply to in sick- 
ness and in old age. 

8. EARLY RISING. 

Early rising is another mark of industry; and 
though, in the higher stations of life, it may be of 
no importance in a mere pecuniary point of view, 
it is, even there, of importance in other respects ; 
for it is rather difficult to keep love alive towards 
a woman who never sees the dew, never beholds 
the rising sun, and who constantly comes directly 
from a reeking bed to the breakfast table, and there 



294 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Fo.ce ofhiibit. Friendly counsel. Apology! 

chews, without appetite, the choicest morsels of 
human food. A man might, perhaps, endure this 
for a month or two, without being disgusted ; but 
not much longer. 

As to people in the middle rank of life, where a 
Jiving and a provision for children is to be sought 
by labor of some sort or other, late rising in the 
wife is certain ruin ; and rarely will you find an 
early-rising wife, who had been a late-rising girl. 
If brought up to late rising, she will like it ; it will 
be her habit; she will, when married, never want 
excuses for indulging in the habit. At first she will 
be indulged without bounds ; and to make a change 
afterwards will be difficult, for it will be deemed 
a wrong done to her ; she will ascribe it to dimin- 
ished affection. A quarrel must ensue, or, the hus- 
band must submit to be ruined, or, at the very 
least, to see half the fruit of his labor snored and 
lounged away. 

And, is this being unreasonably harsh or severe 
upon woman? By no means. It arises from an 
ardent desire to promote the happiness, and to add 
to the natural, legitimate, and salutary influence 
of the female sex. The tendency of this advice is 
to promote the preservation of their health ; to pro- 
long the duration of their beauty; to cause them 
to be loved to the last day of their lives ; and to 
give them, during the whole of those lives, that 
weight and consequence, and respect, of which 
laziness would render them wholly unworthy. 



FRUGALITY. 295 



5?oTly of extravagance. Its results, especially to the lower classes. 
9. FRUGALITY. 

This means the contrary of extravagance. It 
does not mean stinginess ; it does not mean pinch- 
ing; but it means an abstaining from all unneces- 
sary expenditure, and all unnecessary use of goods 
of any and of every sort. It is a quality of great 
importance, whether the rank in life be high or 
low. 

Some people are, indeed, so rich, they have such 
an over-abundance of money and goods, that how 
to get rid of them would, to a spectator, seem to 
foe their only difficulty 7 . How many individuals 
of fine estates, have been ruined and degraded 
by the extravagance of their wives! More fre- 
quently by their own extravagance, perhaps ; but, 
In numerous instances, by that of those whose 
<luty it is to assist in upholding their stations by 
husbanding their fortunes. 

If this be the case amongst the opulent, who 
nave estates to draw upon, what must be the con- 
sequences of a want of frugality in the middle and 
lower ranks of life ? Here it must be fatal, and 
especially among that description of persons whose 
wives have, in man}' cases, the receiving as well 
as thp expending of money. In such a case, there 
wants nothing but extravagance in the wife to 
make ruin as inevitable as the arrival of old age. 

To obtain security against this is very difficult; 
yet, if the lover be not quite blind, he may easily 



296) THE YOUNG MAN S GUIDE. 

Indic ations of extrava gance. Efforts to disguise povfirtjC 

discover a propensity towards extravagance. The 
object of his addresses will, nine times out of ten, 
never be the manager of a house; but she must 
have her dress, and other little matters under her 
control. If she be costly in these ; if, in these, she 
step above her rank, or even to the top of it ; if she 
purchase all she is able to purchase, and prefer the 
showy to the useful, the gay and the fragile to the 
less sightly and more durable, he may be sure that 
the disposition will cling to her through life. If 
he perceive in her a taste for costly food, costly 
furniture, costly amusements; if he find her love 
of gratification to be bounded only by her want of 
means ; if he find her full of admiration of the 
trappings of the rich, and of desire to be able to 
imitate them, he may be pretty sure that she will 
not spare his purse, when once she gets her hand 
into it : and, therefore, if he can bid adieu to her 
charms, the sooner he does it, the better. 

Some of the indications of extravagance in a 
lady are ear-rings, broaches, bracelets, brickies, 
necklaces, diamonds, (real or mock,) and nearly 
all the ornaments which women put upon their 
persons. 

These things may be more proper in palaces, 
or in scenes resembling palaces; but, when they 
make their appearance amongst people in the mid- 
dle rank of life, where, after all, they only serve to 
show that poverty in the parties which they wish 
to disguise; when the mean, tawdry things make* 



FRUGALITY. 297 



(hie form of self destination. Reason and broaches. 

their appearance in this rank of life, they are the 
sure indications of a disposition that will always be 
straining at what it can never attain. 

To marry a girl of this disposition is really self- 
destruction. You never can have either property 
or peace. Earn her a horse to ride, she will want 
a gig: earn the gig, she will want a chariot: get 
her that, she will long for a coach and four: and, 
from stage to stage, she will torment you to the 
end of her or your days; for, still there will be 
somebody with a finer equipage than you can give 
her ; and, as long as this is the case, you will never 
have rest. Reason would tell her, that she could 
never be at the top ,■ that she must stop at some 
point short of that; and that, therefore, all expenses 
in the rivalship are so much thrown away. But, 
reason and broaches and bracelets seldom go in 
company. The girl who has not the sense to per- 
ceive that her person is disfigured and not beauti- 
fied, by parcels of brass and tin, or even gold and 
silver, as well to regret, if she dare not oppose the 
tyranny of absurd fashions, is not entitled to a full 
measure of the confidence of any individual. 



298 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Love and personal neglect incompatible A question in ethica- 

10. PERSONAL NEATNESS. 

There never yet was, and there never will be 
sincere and ardent love, of long duration, where 
personal neatness is wholly neglected. I do not 
say that there are not those who would live peace- 
ably and even contentedly in these circumstances. 
But what I contend for is this: that there never 
can exist, for any length of time, ardent affection, in 
any man towards a woman who neglects neatness, 
either in her person, or in her house affairs. 

Men may be careless as to their own person ; 
they may, from the nature of their business, or 
from their want of time to adhere to neatness m 
dress, be slovenly in their own dress and habits; 
but, they do not relish this in their wives, who 
must still have charms; and charms and neglect 
of the person seldom go together. I do not, of 
course, approve of it even in men. 

We may, indeed, lay it down as a rule of al- 
most universal application, that supposing all other 
things to be equal, he who is most guilty of personal 
neglect; will be the most ignorant and the most 
vicious. Why there should be, univeusally, a con- 
nection between slovenliness, ignorance, and vice, 
is a question I have no room in this work to dis- 
cuss. 

1 am well acquainted with one whole family 
who neglect their persons from principle. The 
gentleman, who is a sort of new light in religious 



PERSONAL NEATNESS. 299 

Ah rmec lote. indications of neatness in person. 

concerns, will tell you that the true Christian should 
4 slight the hovel, as beneath his care.' But there 
Is a want of intelligence, and even common re- 
finement in the family, that certainly does not and 
-cannot add much to their own happiness, or re- 
commend religion — aside from the fact that it 
greatly annoys their neighbors. And though the 
head of the family observes many external duties 
with Jewish strictness, neither he nor any of its 
members are apt to bridle their tongues, or remem- 
ber that on ordinary as well as special occasions they 
sre bound to ' do all to the glory of God.' As to the 
connection of mind with matter — I mean the de- 
pendence of mind and soul on body, they are 
wholly ignorant. 

It is not dress that the husband w r ants to be per- 
petual : it is not finery ; but cleanliness in every 
tiling. Women generally dress enough, especial- 
ly when they go abroad. This occasional cleanli- 
ness is not the thing that a husband wants: he 
wants it always; in-doors as well as out; by night 
us well as by day ; on the floor as well as on the 
table; and, however he may complain about the 
trouble and the 'expense 'of it, he would complain 
more if it were neglected. 

The indications of female neatness are, first, 
a clean skin. The hands and face will usually be 
tslean, to be sure, if there be soap and water with- 
in reach ; but if on observing other parts of the 
head besides the face, you make discoveries indi- 



300 THE YOUNG MAN*S GT7IDET. 

Neatness in dress. Manner of putting on clothings 

eating a different character, the sooner you cease 
your visits the better. I hope, now, that no young 
woman who may chance to see this book, will be 
offended at this, and think me too severe on her 
sex. I am only telling that which all men think ; 
and, it is a decided advantage to them to be fully 
informed of our thoughts on the subject. If any 
one, who reads this, shall find, upon self-examina- 
tion, that she is defective in this respect, let her 
take the hint, and correct the defect. 

In the dress, you can, amongst rich people, find 
little whereon to form a judgment as to cleanliness., 
because they have not only the dress prepared for 
them, but put upon them into the bargain. But, in 
the middle ranks of life, the dress is a good criterion 
in two respects : first, as to its color ; for if the white 
be a sort of yellow, cleanly hands would have been 
at work to prevent that. A white-yellow cravat, or 
shirt, on a man, speaks at once the character of his 
wife ; and, you may be assured, that she will not 
take with your dress pains which she has never 
taken with her own. 

Then, the manner of putting on the dress, is no 
bad foundation forjudging. If this be careless, and 
slovenly, if it do not fit properly, — no matter for its 
mean quality ; mean as it may be, it may be neatly 
and trimly put on — if it be slovenly put on, I say, 
take care of yourself^ for, you will soon find to 
your cost, that a sloven in one thing, is a sloven in 
all tilings. The plainer people, judge greatly from 



A GOOD TEMPER. 301 

Going slipshod. Importance of a permanently good temper, 

the state of the covering of the ankles ; and, if that 
be not dean and tight, they conclude that the rest is 
not as it ought to be. Look at the shoes ! If they 
be trodden on one side, loose on the foot, or run 
down at the heel, it is a very bad sign; and as to 
going slipshod, though at coming down in the 
morning, and even before daylight, make up your 
mind to a rope, rather than live with a slipshod 
woman. 

How much do women lose by inattention to 
these matters! Men, in general, say nothing about 
it to their wives, but they think about it; they 
envy their more lucky neighbors, and in numerous 
cases, consequences the most serious arise from 
this apparently trifling cause. Beauty is valuable ; 
it is one of the ties, and a strong one too ; but it 
cannot last to old age ; whereas the charm of clean- 
liness never ends but with life itself. It has been 
said that the sweetest flowers, when they really 
become putrid, are the most offensive. So the 
most beautiful woman, if found with an uncleansed 
skin, is, in my estimation, the most disagreeable. 

11. A GOOD TEMPER. 

This is a very difficult thing to ascertain before- 
hand. Smiles are cheap; they are easily put on 
for the occasion ; and, besides, the frowns are, ac- 
cording to the lover's whim, interpreted into the 
contrary. By 'good temper,' I do not mean an easy 
temper, a serenity which nothing disturbs ; for that 
26 



302 THE YOUNG Man's GUIDE. 



Evils of s'lllenness. Not easily cured. CUierulousnesS, 



is a mark of laziness. Sullenness, if you be not 
too hJind to perceive it, is a temper to be avoided 
by all means. A sullen man is bad enough; what, 
tli en, must be a sullen woman, and that woman a 
wife; a constant inmate, a companion day and 
night! Only think of the delight of setting at the 
same table, and occupying the same chamber, for 
a week, without exchanging a word all the while! 
Very bad to be scolding for such a length of time ; 
but this is far better than 'the sulks? 

But if you have your eyes, and look sharp, you 
will discover symptoms of this, if it unhappily 
exist. She will, at some time or other, show it to- 
wards some one or other of the family ; or, per- 
haps, towards yourself; and you may be quite sure 
that, in this respect, marriage will not mend her. 
Sullenness arises from capricious displeasure not 
founded in reason. The party takes offence un- 
justifiably; is unable to frame a complaint, and 
therefore expresses displeasure by silence. The 
remedy for it is, to suffer it to take its full swing ; 
but it is better not to have the disease in your 
house ; and to be married to it, is little short of mad- 
ness. 

Querulousness is a great fault. No man, and, 
especially, no woman, likes to hear a continual plain- 
tiveness. That she complain, and roundly complain, 
of your want of punctuality, of your coolness, of 
your neglect, of your liking the company of others: 
these are all very well, more especially as they are 



A GOOD TEMPER. 303 

fcold indifference. Pertinacity. Melancholy. 

frequently but too just. But an everlasting com- 
plaining, without rhyme or reason, is a bad sign. 
It shows want of patience, and, indeed, want, of 
sense. 

But the contrary of this, a cold indifference, is 
still worse. 'When will you come again? You 
can never find time to come here. You like any 
company better than mine.' These, when ground- 
less, are very teasing, and demonstrate a disposition 
too full of anxiousness; but, from a girl who al- 
ways receives you with the same civil smile, lets 
vou, at your own good pleasure, depart with the 
same ; and who, when you take her by the hand, 
holds her cold fingers as straight as sticks, I should 
say, in mercy, preserve me ! 

Pertinacity is a very bad thing in anybody, and 
especially in a young woman; and it is sure to 
increase in force with the age of the party. To 
have the last word, is a poor triumph ; but with 
some' people it is a species of disease of the mind. 
In a wife it must be extremely troublesome ; and, 
if you find an ounce of it in the maid, it will be- 
come a pound in the wife. A fierce dispnter is a 
most disagreeable companion ; and where young 
women thrust their say into conversations carried 
on by older persons, give their opinions in a positive 
manner, and court a contest of the tongue, ihose 
must be very bold men who will encounter them 
as wives. 

Still, of all the faults as to temper, your meJan- 



304 

Ponte accomplishments. When, and to what extent useful. 

choly ladies have the worst, unless you have the 
same mental disease yourself. Many wives are, at 
times, misery-makers; but these carry it on as a 
regular trade. They are always unhappy about 
something, either past, present, or to come. Both 
arms full of children is a pretty efficient remedy in 
most cases ; but, if these ingredients be wanting, a 
little want, a little real trouble, a little genuine afflic- 
tion, often will effect a cure. 

12. ACCOMPLISHMENTS. 

By accomplishments, I mean those things, which 
are usually comprehended in what is termed a use- 
ful and polite education. Now it is not unlikely 
that the fact of my adverting to this subject so late, 
may lead to the opinion that I do not set a proper 
estimate on this female qualification. 

But it is not so. Probably few set too high an 
estimate upon it. Its absolute importance has, I 
am confident, been seldom overrated. It is true I 
do not like a bookish woman better than a bookish 
man ; especially a great devourer of that most con- 
temptible species of books with whose burden the 
press daily groans: I mean novels. But mental 
cultivation and even what is called polite learning, 
along with the foregoing qualifications, are a most 
valuable acquisition, and make every female, as 
well as all her associates, doubly happy. It is 
only when books, and music, and a taste for the 
tine arts are substituted for other and more impor- 



ACCOMPLISHMENTS. 305 

Unequal matching. its evils. Dancing, 

tant things, that they should be allowed to change 
love or respect to disgust. 

It sometimes happens, I know, that two persons 
are, in this respect, pretty equally yoked. But 
what of that? It only makes each party twofold 
more the child of misfortune than before. I have 
known a couple of intelligent persons who would 
sit with their 'feet in the ashes,' as it were, all day, 
to read some new and bewitching book, forgetting 
every want of the body ; perhaps even forgetting 
that they had bodies. Were they therefore happy, 
or likely to be so ? 

Drawing, music, embroidery, (and I might, men- 
tion half a dozen other things of the same class) 
where they do not exclude the more useful and 
solid matters, may justly be regarded as appropriate 
branches of female education ; and in some cir- 
cumstances and conditions of life, indispensable. 
Music, — vocal and instrumental — and drawing, to 
a certain extent, seem to me desirable in all. As 
for dancing,! do not feel quite competent to decide. 
As the world is, however, I am ahnost disposed to 
reject it altogether. At any rate, if a young lady is 
accomplished in every other respect, you need not 
seriously regret that she has not attended to danc- 
ing, especially as it is conducted in most of our 
schools. 



CHAPTER VII. 

<£rimtnal 3SeJjabto?. 



Section I. Inconstancy and Seduction* 

In nineteen cases out of twenty, of illicit con- 
duct, there is perhaps, no seduction at all ; the pas- 
sion, the absence of virtue, and the crime, being 
all mutual. But there are cases of a very differ- 
ent description. Where a young man goes coolly 
and deliberately to work, first to gain and rivet 
the affections of a young lady, then to take ad- 
vantage of those affections to accomplish that 
which he knows must be her ruin, and plunge her 
into misery for life; — when a young man does 
this, I say he must be either a selfish and unfeeling 
brute, unworthy of the name of man, or he must 
have a heart little inferior, in point of obduracy, to 
that of the murderer. Let young women, how- 
ever, be aware ; let them be well aware, that few, 
indeed, are the cases in which this apology can 
possibly avail them. Their character is not solely 
theirs, but belongs, in part, to their family and kin- 
dred. They may, in the case contemplated, be 
objects of compassion with the world ; but what 



INCONSTANCY AND SEDUCTION. 307 



Promises not to be hastily broken. Erroneous impression. 

contrition, what repentance, what remorse, what 
that even the tenderest benevolence can suggest, 
is to heal the wounded hearts of humbled, dis- 
graced, but still affectionate parents, brethren, and 
sisters ? 

In the progress of an intimate acquaintance, 
should it be discovered that there are certain traits 
of character in one of the parties, which both are 
fully convinced will he a source of unhappiness, 
through life, there may be no special impropriety in 
separating. And yet even then I would say, avoid 
haste. Better consider for an hour than repent for 
a year, or for life. But let it be remembered, that 
before measures of this kind are even hinted at, 
there must be a full conviction of their necessity, and 
the mutual and hearty concurrence of both parties* 
Any steps of this kind, the reasons for which are 
not fully understood on borh sides, and mutually 
satisfactory, as well as easily explicable to those 
friends who have a right to inquire on the subject, 
are criminal ; — nay more ; they are brutal. 

T have alluded to indirect promises of marriage, 
because I conceive that the frequent opinion among 
young men that nothing is binding but a direct 
promise, in so many words, is not only erroneous, 
but highly dishonorable to those who hold it. The 
stiongest pledges are frequently given without the 
interchange of words. Actions speak louder than 
words ; and there is an attachment sometimes 
formed, and a confidence reposed, which would be, 



308 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

A species of monsters descibed. Their final destination. 

in effect, weakened by formalities. The man 
who would break a silent engagement, merely be- 
cause it is a silent one, especially when he has 
taken a course of conduct which he knew would 
be likely to result in such engagement, and which 
perhaps he even designed, is deserving of the public 
contempt. He is even a monster unfit to live in 
decent society. 

But there are such monsters on the earth's sur- 
face. There are individuals to be found, who 
boast of their inhuman depredations ort those 
whom it ought to be their highest happiness to 
protect and aid, rather than injure. They can wit- 
ness, almost without emotion, the heavings of a 
bosom rent with pangs .which themselves have 
inflicted. They can behold their unoffending vic- 
tim, as unmoved as one who views a philosophical 
experiment; — not expiring, it is true, but despoiled 
of what is vastly dearer to her than life — her rep- 
utation. They can witness all this, 1 say, without 
emotion, and without a single compunction of con- 
science. And yet they go on, sometimes with 
apparent prosperity and inward peace. At any 
rate, they live. No lightning blasts them ; no vol- 
cano pours, over them its floods of lava ; no earth- 
quake engulfs them. They are permitted to fill 
up the measure of their wickedness. Perhaps 
they riot in ease, and become bloated with luxury. 
But let this description of beings — men I am al- 
most afraid to call them — remember that punish- 



INCONSTANCY AND SEDUCTION. 309 

Special judg nents. Ceitaii! retribution. Inquiry answered, 

ment, though long deferred, cannot be always evad- 
ed. A day of retribution must and will arrive. For 
though they may not be visited by what a portion 
of the community call special 'judgments,' yet their 
punishment is not the Jess certain. The wretch 
who can commit the crime to which I have refer- 
red, against a fellow being, and sport with those 
promises, which, whether direct or indirect, are 
of all things earthly among the most sacred, will 
not, unless he repents, rest here. He will go on 
from step to step in wickedness. He will harden 
himself against every sensibility to the woes of 
others, till he becomes a fiend accursed, and 
whether on this side of the grave, or the other, 
cannot but be completely miserable. A single sin 
may not always break in upon habits of virtue so 
as to ruin an individual at once; but the vices go 
in gangs, or companies. One admitted and indul- 
ged, and the whole gang soon follow. And mis- 
ery must follow sin, at a distance more or less near, 
as inevitably as a stone falls to the ground, or the 
needle points to the pole. 

Some young men reason thus with themselves. 
If duubts about the future have already risen — if 
my affections already begin to waver at times — what 
is not to be expected after marriage? And is it 
pot better to separate, even without a mutual con- 
currence, than to make others, perhaps many others, 
unhappy for life? 

In reply, I would observe, in the first place, that 



310 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Self examination. A rule of action. Trifling with affection. 

though this is the usual reason which is assigned 
in such cases, it is not generally the true one. The 
fact is, the imagination is suffered to wander where 
it ought not; and the affections are not guarded 
and restrained, and confined to their proper object. 
And if there be a diminution of attachment, it is 
not owing to any change in others, but in ourselves. 
If our affection has become less ardent, let us 
look within, for the cause Shall others suffer for 
our own fault? 

But, secondly, we may do much to control the 
affections, even after they have begun to wander. 
We still seek the happiness of the object of our 
choice, more, perhaps, than that of any other in- 
dividual. Then let us make it our constant study 
to promote it. It is a law of our natures, as irre- 
vocable as that of the attraction of gravitation, that 
doing good to others produces love to them. And 
for myself I do not believe the affections of a 
young man can diminish towards one whose happi- 
ness he is constantly studying to promote by every 
means in his power, admitting there is no obvious 
change in her character. So that no young person 
of principle ought ever to anticipate any such re- 
sult. 

Nor has a man any right to sport with the affec- 
tions of a young woman, in any way whatever. 
Vanity is generally the tempter in this case ; a 
desire to be regarded as being admired by the wo- 
men ; a very despicable species of vanity, but fre- 



INCONSTANCY AND SEDUCTION. 311 



CRse of deception. Worst of injuries* An example 

quently greatly mischievous, notwithstanding. You 
do not, indeed, actually, in so many words, promise 
to marry ; but the general tenor of your language 
and deportment has that meaning; you know that 
your meaning is so understood ; and if you have 
not such meaning; if you be fixed by some previous 
engagement with, or greater liking for another ; if 
you know you are here sowing the seeds of dis 
appointment; and if you persevere, in spite of 
the admonitions of conscience, you are guilty of 
deliberate deception, injustice and cruelty You 
make to God an ungrateful return for those en- 
dowments which have enabled you to achieve this 
inglorious and unmanly triumph ; and if, as is fre- 
quently the case, you glory in such triumph, you 
may have person, riches, talents to excite envy ; 
but every just and humane man will abhor your 
heart. 

The most direct injury against the spiritual na- 
ture of a fellow being is, by leading him into vice. 
T have heard one young man, who was entrusted 
six days in the week to form the immortal minds 
and hearts of a score or two of his fellow beings, 
deliberately boast of the number of the other sex he 
had misled. What can be more base ? And must 
not a terrible retribution await such Heaven daring 
miscreants ? Whether they accomplish their pur- 
poses by solicitation, by imposing on the judgment, 
or by powerful compulsion, the wrong is the same, 
or at least of the same nature; and nothing but 



312 

Extract from Bui. \ There are such monsters as lie describes. 

timely and hearty repentance can save a wretch of 
this description from punishment, either here or 
hereafter. 

6 Some tempers,' says Burgh, (for nothing can be 
more in point than his own words) 'are so impo 
tently ductile, that they can refuse nothing to re- 
peated solicitation. Whoever takes the advantage 
of such persons is guilty of the lowest baseness 
Yet nothing is more common than for the debauch- 
ed part of our sex to show their heroism by a poor 
triumph, over weak, easy, thoughtless woman! — 
Nothing is more frequent than to hear them boast 
of the ruin of that virtue, of which they ought to 
have been the defenders. "Poor fool! she loved 
me, and therefore could refuse me nothing." — -Base 
coward! Dost thou boast of thy conquest ovei 
one, who, by thy own confession, was disabled 
for resistance, — disabled by her affection for thy 
worthless self ! Does affection deserve such a re 
turn ? Is superior understanding, or rather deeper 
craft, to be used against thoughtless simplicity, and 
its shameful success to be boasted of? Dost thou 
pride thyself that thou hast had art enough to de- 
coy the harmless lamb to thy hand, that thou light- 
est shed its blood?' 

And yet there are such monsters as Burgh 
alludes to. There are just such beings scattered 
up and down even the fairest portions of the world 
we live in, to mar its beauty. We may hope, for 
the honor of human nature, they are few. He who 



INCONSTANCY AND SEDUCTION. 313 

We may hope they are few. Appeal to the seducer, 

can bring himself to believe their number to be as 
great as one in a thousand, may well be disposed 
to blush 

' And hang his head, to own himself a man.' 

I have sometimes wished these beings — men 
they are not — would reflect, if it were but for one 
short moment. They will not deny the excellency 
of the golden rule, of doing to others as they wish 
others to do by themselves. I say they will not 
deny it, in theory ; why then should they despise it 
in practice ? 

Let them think a moment. Let them imagine 
themselves in the place of the injured party. Could 
this point be gained ; could they be induced to re 
fleet long enough to see the enormity of their guilt 
as it really is, or as the Father in heaven may be 
supposed to see it, there might be hope in their 
case. Or if they find it difficult to view themselves 
as the injured, let them suppose, rather, a sister or a 
daughter. What seducer is so lost to all natural 
affection as not to have his whole soul revolt at 
the bare thought of having a beloved daughter 
experience the treatment which he has inflicted? 
Yet the being whom he has ruined had brothers or 
parents ; and those brothers had a sister ; and those 
parents a daughter! 

27 



314 THE YOUNG Man's GUIDE. 

Extremes of social life. Cities the worst extreme; 

{Section II. Licentiousness, 

I wish it were in my power to finish my re- 
marks in this place, without feeling that I had made 
an important omission. But such is the tendency 
of human nature, especially in the case of the 
young and ardent, to turn the most valuable bless- 
ings conferred on man into curses, — and poison, at 
their very sources, the purest streams of human 
felicity, — that it will be necessary to advert briefly 
but plainly to some of the most frequent forms of 
youthful irregu larity. 

Large cities and thinly settled places are the ex- 
tremes of social life. Here, of course, vice will be 
found in its worst forms. It is more difficult to* 
say which extreme is worst, among an equal num- 
ber of individuals ; but probably the city ; for in 
the country, vice is oftener solitary, and less fre~ 
queiuly social ; while in the city it is not only social 
but also solitary, 

A well informed gentleman from New Orleans, 
of whose own virtue by the way, I ,':ave not the 
highest confidence, expressed, lately .he strongest 
apprehension that the whole race of young men 
in our cities, ot the present generation, will be 
ruined. Others have assured me that in the more 
northern cities, the prospect is little, if any, more 
favorable. 

It is to be regretted that legislators have not 



LICENTIOUSNESS. 315 

Preventive measures. A wretched beinuj. Not akme. 



found out the means of abolishing those haunts in 
cities which might be appropriately termed schools 
of licentiousness, and thus diminishing an aggre- 
gate of temptation already sufficiently large. But 
the vices, like their votaries, go in companies. 
Until, therefore, the various haunts of intempe- 
rance in eating and drinking, and of gambling and 
stage-p laying, can be broken up, it may be con- 
sidered vain to hope for the disappearance of those 
sties of pollution which are their almost inevitable 
results. We might as well think of drying up the 
channel of a mighty river, while the fountains 
which teed it continue to flow as usual. 

There is now in Pennsylvania, — it seems un- 
necessary to name the place — a man thirty-five 
years old, with all the infirmities of 'three score 
and ten.' Yet his premature old age, his bending 
and tottering form, wrinkled face, and hoary head, 
might be traced to solitary and social licentiousness. 

This man is not alone. There are thousands in 
every city who are going the same road ; some 
with slow and cautious steps, others with a fearful 
rapidity. Thousands of youth on whom high ex- 
pectations have been placed, are already on the 
highway that will probably lead down to disease 
and premature death. 

Could the multitude of once active, sprightly, 
and promising young men, whose souls detested 
open vice, and who, without dreaming of danger, 
only found their way occasionally to a lottery office, 



316 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

A dismal picture. How the reality would strike us. 

and still more rarely to the theatre or the gambling 
house, until led on step by step they ventured 
down those avenues which lead to the chambers 
of death, from which few ever return, and none 
uninjured; — could the multitudes of such beings, 
which in the United States alone, (though admit- 
ted to be the paradise of the world,) have gone 
down to infamy through licentiousness, be present- 
ed to our view, at once, how would it strike us 
with horror! Their very numbers would astonish 
us, but how much more their appearance! I am 
supposing them to appear as they went to the 
graves, in their bloated and disfigured faces, their 
emaciated and tottering frames, bending at thirty 
years of age under the appearance of three or four 
score ; diseased externally and internally; and pos- 
itively disgusting, — not only to the eye, but to 
some of the other senses. 

One such monster is 'enough to fill the soul of 
those who are but moderately virtuous with horror; 
what then would be the effect of beholding thou- 
sands? In view of such a scene, is there a young 
man in the world, who would not form the strong- 
est resolution not to enter upon a road which ends 
in wo so remediless? 

But it should be remembered that these thou- 
sands were once the friends — the children, the 
brothers, — yes, sometimes the nearer relatives of 
other thousands. They had parents, sisters, broth- 
ers; sometimes (would it were not true) wives and 



LICENTIOUSNESS. 317 

Not a mere fancy sketch, after all. The common apology. 

infants. Suppose the young man whom temptation 
solicits, were not only to behold the wretched 
thousands already mentioned, but the many more 
thousands of dear relatives mourning their loss; — ■ 
not. by death, for that were tolerable — but by an 
everlasting destruction from the presence of all 
purity or excellence. Would he not shrink back 
from the door which he was about to enter, asham- 
ed and aghast, and resolve in the strength of his 
Creator, never more to indulge a thought of a 
crime bo disastrous in its consequences ? 

And let every one remember that the army of 
ruined immortals which have been here presented 
to the imagination, is by no means a mere fancy 
sketch. There is a day to come which will dis- 
close a scene of which I have given but a faint 
picture. For though the thousands who have thus 
destroyed their own bodies and souls, with their 
agonized friends and relatives, are scattered among 
several millions of their fellow citizens, and, for a 
time, not a few of them elude the public gaze, yet 
their existence is as much a reality, as if they were 
assembled in one place. 

' All this,' it may be said, ' I have often heard, 
and it may be true. But it does not apply to me. 
I am in no danger. You speak of a path, I have 
never entered ; or if I have ever done so, I have 
no idea of returning to it, habitually. I know my 
own strength ; how far to go, and when and where 
to stop .' 



318 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Danger of the first step. Preaching. Anecdote of C S. 

But is there one of all the miserable, m the 
future world, who did not once think the same? 
Is there one among the thousands who have thus 
ruined themselves and those who had been as dear 
to them as themselves, that did not once feel a proud 
consciousness that he 'knew his own strength?' 
Yet now where is he? 

Beware, then. Take not the first step. Nay, in- 
dulge not for an instant, the thought of a first step. 
Here you are safe. Every where else is danger. 
Take one step, and the next is more easy ; the 
temptation harder to resist. 

Do you call this preaching? Be it so then. I 
feel, and deeply too, that your immortal minds, 
those gems which were created to sparkle and 
shine in the firmament of heaven, are in danger of 
having their lustre for ever tarnished, and their 
brightness everlastingly hid beneath a thicker dark- 
ness than that which once covered the land of 
Egypt. 

C. S. was educated by New England parents, in 
one of the most flourishing of New England vil- 
lages. He was all that anxious friends could hope 
or desire; all that a happy community could love 
and esteem. As he rose to manhood he evinced 
a full share of 'Yankee' activity and enterprise. 
Some of the youth in the neighborhood were 
traders to the southern States, and C. concluded 
to try his fortune among the rest. 

He was furnished with two excellent horses and 



LICENTIOUSNESS. 319 

Story of C. S. continued. His downfal. His change. 



a wagon, and every thing necessary to ensure suc- 
cess. His theatre of action was the low country of 
Virginia and North Carolina, and his head-quarters, 
^N , whither he used to return after an excur- 
sion of a month or six week, to spend a few days 
in that dissipated village. 

Young C. gradually yielded to the temptations 
which the place afforded. First, he engaged in oc- 
casional 'drinking bouts,' next in gaming; lastly, 
he frequented a house of ill fame. This was about 
She year 1819. 

At the end of the year 1820, 1 saw him, but — ■ 
now changed! The eye that once beamed with 
^health, and vigor, and cheerfulness, was now dim- 
med and flattened. The countenance which once 
shone with love and good-will to man, was pale 
and suspicious, -or occasionally suffused with stag- 
nant, and sickly, and crimson streams. The teeth, 
which were once as white as ivory, were now 
"blackened by the use of poisonous medicine, given 
to counteract a still more poisonous and loathsome - 
disease. The frame, which had once been as erect 
as the stately cedar of Lebanon, was, at the early 
age of thirty, beginning to bend as with years. The 
voice, which once spoke forth the sentiments of a 
soul of comparative purity, now not unfrequently 
gave vent to the licentious song, the impure jest, 
and the most shocking oaths, and heaven-daring 
Impiety and blasphemy. The hands which were 
once like the spirit within, were now not unfre- 



320 THE rOUNG MAN f S GtJIDE 

Story of C. S. concluded. His prospect. Gloomy reflections. 

quently joined in the dance, with the vilest of the 
vile ! 

I looked, too, at his external circumstances 
Once he had friends whom he loved to see, an J 
from whom he was glad to hear. Now it was a 
matter of indifference both to him and them wheth- 
er they ever saw each other. The hopes of parents, 
and especially of \ her that bare him ' were laid in 
the dust; and to the neighborhood of which he 
had once been the pride and the ornament, he was 
fast becoming as if he had never been. 

He had travelled first with two horses^ next with 
one ; afterward on foot with a choice assortment 
of jewelry and other pedlar's wares; now bis as- 
sortment was reduced to a mere handful. He 
could purchase to the value of a few dollars, take 
a short excursion, earn a small sum, and return — 
not to a respectable house, as once, — but to the 
lowest of resorts, to expend it. 

Here, in 1821, I last saw him ; a fair candidate 
for the worst contagious diseases which occasion- 
ally infest that region, and a pretty sure victim to 
the first severe attack. Or if he should even es- 
cape these, with the certainty before him of a very 
short existence, at best. 

This is substantially the history of many a young' 
man whose soul was once as spotless as that of C. 
S. Would that young men knew their strength, 
and their dignity ; and would put forth but half the 
energy that God has givei them. Then they 



LICENTIOUSNESS. 321 

Warning to ihe young. Substitutes for dissipation proposed. 

would never approach the confines of those regions 
of dissipation, for when they have once entered 
them, the soul and the hody are often ruined forever. 

There are in every city hundreds of young men 
— I regret to say it, — who should heed this warn- 
ing voice. A 010 they are happily situated, beloved, 
respected. They are engaged in useful and re- 
spectable avocations, and looking forward to bright- 
er and better scenes. - Let them beware lest there 
should be causes in operation, calculated to sap 
the foundations of the castle which fancy's eye has 
builded, (and which might even be realized); and 
lest their morning sun, which is uow going forth in 
splendor, be not shrouded in darkness ere it has yet 
attained its meridian height. 

Every city affords places and means of amuse- 
ment, at once rational, satisfying, and improving. 
Such are collections of curiosities, natural and arti- 
ficial, lectures on science, debating clubs, lyceums, 
&c. Then the libraries which abound, afford a 
source of never ending amusement and instruction. 
Let these suffice. At least, ' touch not, handle not' 
that which an accumulated and often sorrowful ex- 
perience has shown to be accursed. 

Neither resort to solitainj vice. If this practice 
should not injure your system immediately, it will 
in the end. I am sorry to be obliged to advert to 
this subject; but J know there is occasion. Youth, 
especially those who lead a conn nee; jfe, seek oc- 
casional excitement. Such sometimes resort to 



322 

A destructive habit. How it debases. Common mistake, 

this lowest, — I may say most destructive of prac- 
tices. Such is the constitution of things, as the 
Author of Nature has established it, that if every 
other vicious act were to escape its merited punish- 
ment in this world, the one in question could not, 
Whatever its votaries may think, it never fails, in 
a single instance, to injure them, personally ; and 
consequently their posterity, should any succeed 
them. 

It is not indeed true that the foregoing vices do 
of themselves, produce all this mischief directly; 
but as Dr. Paley has well said, criminal intercourse 
4 corrupts and depraves the mind more than any 
single vice whatsoever.' It gradually benumbs the 
conscience, and leads on, step by step, to those 
blacker vices at which the youth would once have 
shuddered. 

But debasing as this vice is, it is scarcely more 
so than solitary gratification. The former is not 
always at hand; is attended, it may be, with ex- 
pense ; and with more or less danger of exposure. 
But the latter is practicable whenever temptation 
or rather imagination solicits, and appears to the 
morbid eye of sense, to be attended with no haz- 
ard. Alas! what a sad mistake is made here! It 
is a fact well established by medical men, that 
every error on this point is injurious ; and that the 
constitution is often more surely or more effect- 
ually impaired by causes which do not appear 
to injure it in the least, than by occasional and 



LICENTIOUSNESS. 323 

A set. of wretches. . Particular directions. 

heavier shocks, which rouse it to a reaction. The 
one case may be compared to daily tippling, the 
other to those periodical drunken frolics, which, 
having an interval of weeks or months between 
them, give the system time to recover, in part, 
(but in part only) from the violence it had sus- 
tained. 

I wish to put the younger portion of my readers 
upon their guard against a set of wretches who 
take pains to initiate youth, while yet almost chil- 
dren, into the practice of the vice to which I have 
here adverted. Domestics — where the young are 
too familiar with them — have been known to be 
thus ungrateful to their employers. There are, 
however, people of several classes, who do not 
hesitate to mislead, in this manner. 

But the misfortune is, that this book will not be 
apt to fall into the hands of those to whom these 
remarks apply, till the ruinous habit is already 
formed. And then it is that counsel sometimes 
comes too late. Should these pages meet the eye 
of any who have been misled, let them remember 
that they have begun a career which multitudes 
repeut bitterly; and from which few are apt to 
return. But there have been iustances of reform ; 
therefore none ought to despair. i What man has 
done, man may do.' 

They should first set before their minds the na- 
ture of the practice, and the evils to which it ex- 
poses. But here comes the difficulty. What are its 



324 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

The point argued. The error exposed. Appeal.. 

legitimate evils? They know indeed that the 
written laws of God condemn it ; but the punish- 
ment which those laws threaten, appears to be re- 
mote and uncertain. Or if not, they are apt to re- 
gard it as the punishment of excess, merely. Tkey f 
prudent souls, would not, for the world, plunge 
into excess. Besides, 'they injure none but them- 
selves? they tell us. 

Would it were true that they injured none but 
themselves I Would there were no generations yet 
unborn to suffer by inheriting feeble constitutions,, 
or actual disease, from their progenitors! 

Suppose, however r they really injured nobody 
but themselves. Have they a right to do even this? 
They will not maintain, for one moment, that they 
have a right to take away their own life. By what 
right, then, do they allow themselves to shorten it r 
or diminish its happiness while it lasts? 

Here the question recurs again : Does solitary 
gratification actually shorten life, or diminish its 
happiness? 

The very fact that the laws of God forbid it, is 
an affirmative answer to this question. For noth- 
ing is more obvious than that all other vices which 
that law condemns, stand in the way of our present 
happiness, as well as the happiness of futurity. Is 
this alone an exception to the general rule ? 

But I need not make my appeal to this kind of 
authority. You rely on human testimony. You 
believe a thousand tilings which yourselves never 



LICENTIOUSNESS. 325 



Medical testimony. Plea of the sensualist. The reply. 

saw or heard. Why do you believe them, except 
upon testimony — I mean given either verbally, or, 
what is the same thing, in books? 

Now if the accumulated testimony of medical 
Writers from the clays of Galen, and Celsus, and 
Hippocrates, to the present hour, could have any 
weight with you, it would settle the point at once. 
I have collected, briefly, the results of medical tes- 
timony on this subject, in the next chapter; but if 
you will take my statements for the present, I will 
assure you that 1 have before me documents enough 
to fill half a volume like this, from those who have 
studied deeply these subjects, whose united lan- 
guage is, that the practice in questing, indulged in 
any degree, is destructive to body and mind; and 
that although, in vigorous young men, no striking 
evil may for some time appear, yet the punishment 
can no more be evaded, except by early death, than 
the motion of the earth can be hindered. And all 
this, too, without taking into consideration the ter- 
rors of a judgment to come. 

But why, then, some may ask, are animal pro- 
pensities given us, if they are not to be indulged? 
The appropriate reply is, they are to be indulged; 
but it is only in accordance with the laws of God ; 
never otherwise. Aud the wisdom of these laws, 
did they not rest on other and better proof, is 
amply confirmed by that great body of medical ex- 
perience already mentioned. God has delegated 
to man, a sort of siihcreative power to perpetuate 
2d 



326 THE YOUNG MAN'S GtJIDE. 

The case plainly stated. Objection. Further explanation. 

his own race. Such a wonderful work required 
a wonderful apparatus. And such is furnished. 
The texture of the organs for this purpose is of the 
most tender and delicate kind, scarcely equalled by 
that of the eye, and quite as readily injured; and 
this fact ought to be known, and considered. But 
instead of leaving to human choice or caprice the 
execution of the power thus delegated, the great 
Creator has made it a matter of duty ; and has con- 
nected with the lawful discharge of that duty, as 
with all others, enjoyment. But when this enjoy- 
ment is sought in any way, not in accordance with 
the laws prescribed by reason and revelation, we 
diminish (whatever giddy youth may suppose,) the 
sum total of our own happiness. Now this is not 
the cold speculation of age, or monkish austerity. 
It is sober matter of fact. 

It is said that young men are sometimes in cir- 
cumstances which forbid their conforming to these 
laws, were they disposed to do so. 

Not so often however, as is commonly supposed. 
Marriage is not such a mountain of difficulty as 
many imagine. This I have already attempted to 
show. One circumstance to be considered, in con- 
nection with this subject, is, that in any society, the 
more there is of criminal indulgence, whether 
secret or social, the more strongly are excuses for 
neglecting matrimony urged. Every step which 
a young man takes in forbidden paths, affords him 
a plea in behalf of the next. The farther he 



LICENTIOUSNESS. 327 



Late marriages. A question of health. Celibacy considered. 

goes, the less the probability of his returning to 
the ways of purity, on entering those of domestic 
felicity. 

People in such places as London and Paris, mar- 
ry much later in life, upon the average, than in 
country places. And is not the cause obvious? 
And is not the same cause beginning to produce 
similar effects in our own American cities ? 

But suppose celibacy in some cases, to be un- 
avoidable, can a life of continence, in the fullest 
sense of the term, be favorable to health? This 
question is answered by those to whose writings I 
have already referred, in the affirmative. But it is 
also answered by facts, though from the nature of 
the case these facts are not always easy of access. 
We have good reason to believe that Sir Isaac 
Newton and Dr. Fothergill, never for once in their 
lives deviated from the strict laws of rectitude on 
this point. And we have no evidence that they 
were sufferers for their rigid course of virtue. The 
former certainly enjoyed a measure of health and 
reached an age, to which few, in any circumstan- 
ces, attain ; and the latter led an active and useful 
life to nearly three-score and ten. There are living 
examples of the same purity of character, but they 
cannot, of course, be mentioned in this work. 

Several erroneous view T s in regard to the animal 
economy which have led to the very general opin- 
ion that a life of celibacy — strictly so, I mean — 
cannot be a life of health, might here be exposed, 



3*28 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

A wish. Study of the human constitution. Word to parents. 

did either the limits or the nature of the work per- 
mit. It is not that a state of celibacy — entirely so, 
I always mean — is positively injurious; but that 
a state of matrimony is more useful; and, as a gene- 
ral rule, attended with more happiness. 

It is most ardently to be hoped, that the day is 
not far distant when every young man will study 
the laws and functions of the human frame for him- 
self. This would do more towards promoting in- 
dividual purity and public happiness, than all the 
reasoning in the world can accomplish without it. 
Men, old or young, must see for themselves how 
'fearfully' as well as 'wonderfully' they are made, 
before they can have a thorough and abiding con- 
viction of the nature of disobedience, or of the 
penalties that attend, as well as follow it. And in 
proportion, as the subject is studied and under- 
stood, may we not hope celibacy will become less 
frequent, and marriage — honorable, and, if you 
please, early marriage — be more highly estimated ? 

This work is not addressed to parents; but 
should it be read by any who have sons, at an age, 
and in circumstances, which expose them to tempt- 
ation, and in a way which will be very apt to se- 
cure their fall, let them beware.* 

* Parents who inform their children on this subject, 
generally begin too late. Familiar conversational explana- 
tion, begun as soon as there is reason to apprehend danger, 
and judiciously pursued, is perhaps the most successful 
method of preventing evil 



LICENTIOUSNESS. 329 

We are arbiters of our own fate. Errors in education. 

StilJ, the matter must be finally decided by the 
young *ieinselves. They, in short, must determine 
the question whether they will rise in the scale of 
being, through every period of their existence, or 
sink lower and lower in the depths of degradation 
and wo. They must be, after all, the arbiters of 
their own fate. No influences, human or divine, 
will ever force them to happiness. 

The remainder of this section will be devoted 
to remarks on the causes which operate to form 
licentious feelings and habits in the young. My 
limits, however, will permit me to do little more 
than mention them. And if some of them might 
be addressed with more force to parents than to 
young men, let, it be remembered that the young 
may be parents, and if they cannot recall the past, 
and correct the errors in their own education, they 
can, at least, hope to prevent the same errors in the 
education of others. 

1 FALSE DELICACY. 

Too much of real delicacy can never be incul- 
cated ; but in our early management, we seem to 
implant the false, instead of the true. The lan- 
guage we use, in answering the curious questions 
of children, often leads to erroneous associations 
of ideas; and it is much better to be silent. By 
the falsehoods which we think it necessary to tell, 
we often excite still greater curiosity, instead of 
satisfying that which already exists. I will not 



H30 

Another error in education. Diseased curiosity. Danger. 

undertake to decide what ought to be done ; but 
silence, I am certain, would be far better than false- 
hood. 

There is another error, which is laid deeper still, 
because it begins earlier. I refer to the half Mo- 
hammedan practice of separating the two sexes at 
school. This practice, I am aware has strong 
advocates; but it seems to me they cannot have 
watched closely the early operations of their own 
minds, and observed how curiosity was awakened, 
and wanton imaginations fostered by distance, and 
apparant and needless reserve. 

2. LICENTIOUS BOOKS, PICTURES, &C. 

This unnatural reserve, and the still more un- 
natural falsehoods already mentioned, prepare the 
youthful mind for the reception of any thing which 
has the semblance of information on the points to 
which curiosity is directed. And now comes the 
danger. The world abounds in impure publica- 
tions, which almost all children, (boys especially,) 
at sometime or other, contrive to get hold of, in 
spite of parental vigilance. If these books con- 
tained truth, and nothing but truth, their clandes- 
tine circulation would do less mischief. But they 
generally impart very little information which is 
really valuable; on the contrary they contain much 
falsehood ; especially when they profess to instruct 
on certain important subjects. Let me repeat it 
then, they cannot be relied on ; and in the language 



LEWD BOOKS, PICTURES, SlC. 331 

Licentious paintings and engravings. The stage. The shop. 

of another book, on another subject ; ' He that 
trusteth ' to them, ; is a fool.' 

The same remarks might be extended, and with 
even more justice, to licentious paintings and en- 
gravings, whWi circulate in various ways. And 
I am sorry to include in this charge not a few 
which are publicly exhibited for sale, iu the win- 
dows of our shops. You may sometimes find 
obscene pictures under cover of a watch-case or 
snuff box. In short, there would often seem to be 
a general combination of human and infernal ef- 
forts to render the juvenile thoughts and affections 
impure ; and not a few parents themselves enter 
into the horrible league. 

On this subject Dr. Dwight remarks; 'The num- 
bers of the poet, the delightful melody of song, the 
fascination of the chisel, and the spell of the pencil, 
have been all volunteered in the service of Satan 
for the moral destruction of unhappy man. To 
finish this work of malignity the stage has lent all 
its splendid apparatus of mischief; the shop has 
been converted into a show-box of temptations; 
and its owner into a pander of iniquity.' And in 
another place; 'Genius, in every age, and in every 
country, has, to a great extent, prostituted its ele- 
vated powers for the deplorable purpose of seduc- 
ing thoughtless minds to this sin.' Are these re- 
marks too sweeping? In my own opinion, not at 
all. Let him, who doubts, take a careful survey of 
the whole of this dangerous ground. 



332 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Licentious songs. Anecdote of a teacher. 

3. OBSCENE AND IMPROPER SONGS. 

The prostitution of the melody of song, men- 
tioned by Dr. Dwight, reminds me of another seri- 
ous evil. Many persons, and even not a few intelli- 
gent parents, seem to think that a loose or immoral 
song cannot much injure their children, especially 
if they express their disapprobation of it afterwards. 
As if the language of the tongue could give the lie 
to the language of the heart, already written, and 
often deeply, in the eye and countenance. For it is 
notorious that a considerable proportion of parents 
tolerate songs containing very improper sentiments, 
and hear them with obvious interest, how much 
soever they may wish their children to have a bet- 
ter and purer taste. The common ' love songs' are 
little better than those already mentioned. 

It is painful to think what errors on this subject 
are sometimes tolerated even by decent society. 1 
knew a schoolmaster who did not hesitate to join 
occasional parties, (embracing, among others, pro- 
fessedly Christian parents,) for the purpose of 
spending his long winter evenings, in hearing songs 
from a very immoral individual, not a few of which 
were adapted to the most corrupt taste, and unfit to 
be heard in good society. Yet the community in 
which he taught was deemed a religious commu- 
nity ; and the teacher himself prayed in his school, 
morning and evening! Others I have known to 
conduct even worse, though perhaps not quite so 
openly. 



DOUBLE ENTEtfDRES. 333 

Speeches with double meanings. St. Paul's directions. 

I mention these things, not to reproach teachers, 
— for I think their moral character, in this country, 
generally, far better than their intellectual, — but as 
a specimen of perversion in the public sentiment ; 
and also as a hint to all who have the care of the 
young. Pupils at school, cannot fail to make cor- 
rect inferences from such facts as the foregoing. 

4. DOUBLE ENTENDRES. # 

By this is meant seemingly decent speeches, with 
double meanings, I mention these because they 
prevail, in some parts of the country, to a most 
alarming degree ; and because parents seem to re- 
gard them as perfectly harmless. Shall I say — to 
show the extent of the evil — that they are some- 
times heard from both parents ? Now no serious 
observer of human life and conduct can doubt that 
by every species of impure language, whether in 
the form of hints, innuendoes, double entendres, or 
plainer speech, impure thoughts are awakened, a 
licentious imagination inflamed, and licentious pur- 
poses formed, which would otherwise never have 
existed. Of all such things an inspired writer has 
long ago said — and the language is still applica- 
ble ; — ' Let them not be so much as named among 
you.' 

I have been in families where these loose insin- 
uations, and coarse innuendoes were so common, 

* Pronounced entaunders* 



334 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



State of tilings in some families. Precocity. Its danger. 

that the presence of respectable company scarcely 
operated as a restraint, upon the unbridled tongues, 
even of the parents! Many of these things had 
been repeated so often, and under such circumstan- 
ces that the children, at a very early age, perfectly 
understood their meaning and import. Yet had 
these very same children asked for direct infor- 
mation, at this time, on the subjects which had 
been rendered familiar to them thus incidentally, 
the parents would have startled ; and would un- 
doubtedly have repeated to them part of a string 
of falsehoods, with which they had been in the 
habit of attempting to 'cover up' these matters; 
though with the effect, in the end, of rendering 
the children only so much the more curious and 
inquisitive. 

But this is rjot all. The filling of the juvenile 
mind, long before nature brings the body to ma- 
turity, with impure imaginations, not only pre- 
occupies the ground which is greatly needed for 
something else, and fills it with shoots of a noxious 
growth, but actually induces, if I may so say, a 
precocious maturity. What I mean, is, that there 
arises a morbid or diseased state of action of the 
vessels of the sexual system, which paves the way 
for premature physical developement, and greatly 
increases the danger of youthful irregularity. 



EVENING PARTIES. 335 



Evils of night assemblies. A full length portrait of one, 

5. EVENING PARTIES. 

One prolific source of licentious feeling and 
action may be found, I think, in evening parties, 
especially when protracted to a late hour. It has 
always appeared to me that the injury to health 
which either directly or indirectly grows out of 
evening parties, was a sufficient objection to their 
recurrence, especially when the assetnbly is crowd- 
ed, the room greatly heated, or when music and 
dancing are the accompaniments. Not a few 
young ladies, who after perspiring freely at the lat- 
ter exercise, go out into the damp night air, in a 
thin dress, contract consumption; and both sexes 
are very much exposed, in this way, to colds, rheu- 
matisms, and fevers. 

Hut the great danger, after all, is to reputation 
and morals. Think of a group of one hundred 
young ladies and gentlemen assembling at evening, 
and under cover of the darkness, joining in con- 
clave, and heating themselves with exercise and 
refrpshments of an exciting nature, such as coffee, 
tea, wine, &c, and in some parts of our country 
with diluted distilled spirit; and 'keeping up the 
steam,' as it is sometimes called, till twelve or one 
o'clock, and frequently during the greater part of 
the night. For what kind and degree of vice, do 
not such scenes prepare those who are concerned 
in them ? 

Nothing which is here said is intended to be lev- 



836 THE YOUNG MAn's GUIDE. 



A commo.i error. The moral evil outweighs all others. 

elled against dancing, in itself considered ; but only 
against such a use, or rather abuse of it as is made 
to inflame and feed impure imaginations and bad 
passions. On the subject of dancing as an amuse- 
ment, 1 have already spoken in another part of the 
work. 

I have often wondered why the strange opinion 
has come to prevail, especially among the industri- 
ous yeomanry of the interior of our country, that it 
is economical to turn night into day, in this man- 
ner. Because they cannot very well spare their 
sons or apprentices in the daytime, as they suppose, 
they suffer them to go abroad in the evening, and 
perhaps to be out all night, when it may justly be 
questioned whether the loss of energy which they 
sustain does not result in a loss of effort during 
one or two subsequent days, at least equal to the 
waste of a whole afternoon. I am fully convinced, 
on my own part, that he who should give up to his 
son or hired laborer an afternoon, would actually 
lose a less amount of labor, taking the week togeth- 
er, than he who should only give up for this pur- 
pose the hours which nature intended should be 
spent in sleep. 

But — I repeat it — the moral evil outweighs all 
other considerations. A needs not an experience 
of thirty years, nor even of twenty, to convince 
even a careless observer that no small number of 
our youth of both sexes, have, through the influ- 
ence of late evening parties, gone down to the 



DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 337 



A hint to some professors of religion. A dark catalogue 

-chambers of drunkenness and debauchery ; and, 
with the young man mentioned by Solomon, 
descended through them to those of death and hell. 
It may be worth while for those sober minded 
and, otherwise, judicious Christians, who are in the 
habit of attending fashionable parties at late hours, 
and taking their 'refreshments,' to consider whether 
they may not be a means of keeping up, by their 
example, those more, vulgar assemblies, with all 
their grossness, which I have been describing. Is 
it not obvious that what the wine, and the fruit, and 
the oysters, are to the more refined and Christian 
circles, what wine and fermented liquors may be to 
the more blunt sensibilities of body and mind, in 
youthful circles of another description? But i f so, 
where rests the guilt? Or shall we bless the foun- 
tains, while we curse the stream they form? 

Section III. Diseases of Licentiousness. 

The importance of this and the foregoing section 
will be differently estimated by different individuals. 
They were not inserted, however, without consid- 
eration, nor without the approbation of persons 
who enjoy a large measure of public confidence. 
The young ought at least to know, briefly, to what 
a formidable host of maladies secret vice is ex- 
posed. 

1. Insanity. The records nf hospitals show that 
insanity, from solitary indulgence, is common. 
Tissot, Esquirol, Eberle, and others, give ample 
29 



338 THE fOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



Catalogue continued. St. Vitus's dance. Epilepsy. 

testimony on this point. The latter, from a care- 
ful examination of the facts, assures us that in 
Paris the propoi rion of insane persons whose dis- 
eases may be traced to the source in question, is 
one in from fifty-one to fifty-eight, in the lower 
classes. In the higher classes it is one in twenty- 
three. In the insane Hospital of Massachusetts — 
I have it from authority which I cannot question, — 
the proportion is at least one in three or four. At 
present there are about twenty cases of the kind 
alluded to. 

2. Chorea Sancti Viti ; or St. Vitus's dance. 
This strange disease, in which the muscles of the 
body are not always at the command of the patient, 
and in which the head, the arms, the legs, and in- 
deed every part which is made for muscular mo- 
tion often jerks about in a very singular manner, is 
sometimes produced in the same way. Insanity 
and this disease are occasionally combined. I have 
known one young man in this terrible condition, 
and have read authentic accounts of others. 

3. Epilepsy. Epileptic or jailing sickness fits, as 
they are sometimes denominated, are another very 
common scourge of secret vice. How much they 
are to be dreaded almost every one can judge; for 
there are few who have not. seen those who are 
afflicted with them. They usually weaken the 
mind, and sometimes entirely destroy it. 1 knew 
one epileptic individual who used to dread them 
*iore than death ; and would gladly have prefer- 
red the latter. 



DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 339 

Idiocy. Palsy. Apoplexy. Blindness. Hypochondria. 

4. ldiotism. Epilepsy, as T have already inti- 
mated, often runs on to ldiotism ; but sometimes 
the miserable young man becomes an idiot, with- 
out the intervention of any other obvious disease. 

5. Paralysis or Palsy, is no uncommon punish- 
ment of this transgression. There are, however, 
several forms of this disease. Sometimes, a slight 
numbness of a single toe or finger is the first 
symptom of its approach ; but at others a whole 
hand, arm, or leg is afFected. In the present case, 
the first attacks are not very violent, as if to give 
the offender opportunity to return to the path of 
rectitude. Few, however, take the hint and re- 
turn, till the chains of their slavery are riveted, 
and their health destroyed by this or some other 
form of disease. I have seen dissipated young 
men who complained of the numbness of a finger 
or two and the corresponding portion of the hand 
and wrist, who probably did. not themselves sus- 
pect the cause; but I never knew the disorder 
permanently removed, except by a removal of the 
cause which produced it. 

6. .Apoplexy. This lias occasionally happened; 
though more rarely. 

7. Blindness, in some of its forms, especially 
of that form usually called gutta serena, should 
also be added to our dark catalogue. Indeed a 
weakness of sight is among the first symptoms 
that supervene on these occasions. 

8. Hypochondria. This is as much a disease by 



340 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Consumption. Pecul.ar form of this disease, 

itself as the small pox, though many regard it 
otherwise. The mind is diseased, and the indi- 
vidual has many imaginary sufferings, it is true; 
but the imagination would not be thus unnaturally 
awake, if there were no accompanying disturb- 
ance in the bodily functions. Hypochondria, in its 
more aggravated forms, is a very common result 
of secret vice. 

9. Phthisis, or consumption, is still more fre- 
quently produced by the cause we are considering, 
than any other disease I have mentioned. And 
we know well the history of this disease; that, 
though slow in its progress, the event is certain. 
In this climate, it is one of the most destructive 
scourges of our race. If the ordinary diseases slay 
their thousands, consumption slays its tens of thou- 
sands. Its approach is gradual, and often unsus- 
pected; and the decline to the grave sometimes 
unattended by any considerable suffering. Is it 
not madness to expose ourselves to its attacks for 
the shortlived gratifications of a moment? 

There is indeed a peculiar form of this disease 
which, in the case in question, is more commonly 
produced than any other. It is called, in the lan- 
guage of physicians, tabes dorsalis, or dorsal con- 
sumption ; because it is supposed to arise from the 
dorsal portion of the spinal marrow. This disease 
sometimes, it is true, attacks young married peo- 
ple, especially where they go beyond the bounds 
which the Author of nature intended ; and it is 



DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 341 



Its symptoms. The sufferer's only hope of relief. 

occasionally produced by other causes entirely dif- 
ferent; causes, too, which it would be difficult, 
if not impossible to prevent. Generally, however, 
it is produced by solitary vice, - 

The most striking symptom of this disease is 
described as being a 'sensation of ants, crawling 
from the head down along the spine;' but this 
sensation is not always felt, for sometimes in its 
stead there is, rather, .a very great weakness of the 
small part of the back, attended with pain. This 
is accompanied with emaciation, and occasionally, 
though not always, with an irregular appetite. In- 
deed, persons affected with this disease generally 
have a good appetite. There is usually little fever, 
or at most only a slight heat and thirst towards 
evening, w r ith occasional flushings of the face ; and 
still more rarely, profuse perspirations in the latter 
part of the night. B:it the latter symptom belongs 
more properly to common consumption. The 
sight, as I have already mentioned, grows dim ; 
they have pains in the head and sometimes ring- 
ing in the ears, and a loss of memory. Finally, 
the legs become weak, the kidneys and stomach 
suffer, and many other difficulties arise which I 
cannot mention in this work, followed often by 
an acute fever; and unless the abominable prac- 
tice which produced all the mischief is abandoned, 
death follows. But when many of the symptoms 
which 1 have mentioned, are really fastened upon 
an individual, he has sustained an injury which 



342 <rHE young man's guide. 

Examples of suffering. Author's correspondence. 

can never be wholly repaired. All he can hope is 
to prolong his days, and lengthen out his life — 
often a distressing one. A few well authenticated 
examples of persons who debased themselves by 
secret vice, will, I hope, satisfy those who doubt 
the evils of this practice. 

One young man thus expressed his sufferings to 
his physician. 'My very great debility renders the 
performance of every motion difficult. That of 
my legs is often so great, that I can scarcely stand 
erect ; and I fear to leave my chamber. Digestion 
is so imperfect that the food passes unchanged, 
three or four hours after it has been taken into the 
stomach. I am oppressed with phlegm, the pre- 
sence of which causes pain ; and the expectora- 
tion, exhaustion. This is a brief history of my 
miseries. Each day brings with it an increase of 
all my woes. Nor do I believe that any human 
creature ever suffered more. Without a special 
interposition of Divine Providence, I cannot sup- 
port so painful an existence.' 

Another thus writes; 'Were I not restrained by 
sentiments of religion* I should ere this have put 

* What inadequate ideas are sometimes entertained by 
young professors of religion, and even by those more ad- 
vance I, in regard to the purity of character which is indis- 
pensable to the enjoyment of a world of bliss — a world 
whose very source, sum, end and essence, are Infinite Purity 
itself! 

Since the first edition of this work was published, I 



DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 343 

More examples of disease. Looking to the grave for relief 

an end to my existence ; which is the more insup- 
portable as it is caused by myself. ' 

'I cannot walk two hundred paces,' says anoth- 
er 'without resting myself; my feebleness is ex- 
treme ; J have constant pains in every part of the 
body, but particularly in the shoulders and chest. 
My appetite is good, but this is a misfortune, since 
what I eat causes pains in my stomach, and is 
vomited up. If I read a page or two, my eyes are 
filled with tears and become painful : — I often 
sigh involuntarily.' 

A fourth says; 'I rest badly at night, and am 
much troubled with dreams. The lower part of 
my back is weak, my eyes are often painful, and 
my eyelids swelled and red. I have an almost 
constant cold; and an oppression at the stomach. 
In short, I had rather be laid in the silent tomb, 
and encounter that dreadful uncertainty, hereafter, 

have received several letters of thanks for having ventured 
upon Jtis long neglected, but important subject. Teachers, 
especially, have acknowledged their obligations, both in 
person and by correspondence. One teacher, in particular, 
a man of considerable experience, writes as follows: — 

'The last chapter of the book, is by no means, in mj 
view, the least important. I regret to say that many 
religious young men, through ignorance, are attached to 
the last mentioned vice. I could wish that what you have 
written could be carefully read by every young man, at 
least, in our land. Alas, dear sir, how little do mortals 
know, when they <lo not understand their physical struc- 
ture.' ■ 



344 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 



For whom this book is intended. References: 

than remain in my present unhappy and degrad- 
ed situation.' 

The reader should remember that the persona 
whose miseries are here described, were generally 
sufferers from hypochondria. They had not advanc- 
ed to the still more horrid stages of palsy, apoplexy, 
epilepsy, idiotism, St. Vitus's dance, blindness, or 
insanity. But they bad gone so far, that another 
step in the same path, might have rendered a return 
Impossible. 

The reader will spare me the pain of present- 
ing, in detail, any more of these horrid cases. I 
write for young men, the strength — the bone, mus- 
cle, sinew, and nerve — of our beloved country. 
I write for those who, — though some of them 
may have erred — are glad to be advised, and if 
they deem the advice good, are anxious to follow 
it. I write, too, in vain, if it be not for young men 
who will resolve on reformation, when they believe 
that their present and future happiness is at stake. 
And, lastly, I have not read correctly the pages in 
the book of human nature if I do not write for 
those who can, with God's help, keep every good 
resolution. 

There are a few publications to which those who 
are awake to the importance of this subject, might 
safely be directed. One or two will be mentioned 
presently. It is true that their authors have, in some 
instances, given us the details of such cases of dis- 
ease as occur but rarely. Still, what has happened. 



DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 345 

Where the path of error may end. One more warning. 

in this respect, may happen again. And as no 
moderate drinker of fermented or spirituous liquors 
can ever know, with certainty, that if he continues 
his habit, he may not finally arrive at confirmed 
4»*unkenness, and the worst diseases which attend 
It, so no person who departs but once from recti- 
tude in the matter before us, has any assurance 
that he shall not sooner or later suffer all the evils 
which they so faithfully describe 

When a young man, who is pursuing an un- 
happy course of solitary vice, threatened as we 
have seen by the severest penalties earth or heaven 
can impose, — begins to perceive a loss or irregu- 
larity of his appetite ; acute pains in his stomach, 
especially during digestion, and constant vomitings 5 
— when to this is added a weakness of the lungs, 
often attended by a dry congh, hoarse weak voice, 
and hurried or difficult breathing after using con- 
siderable exertion, with a general relaxation of 
the nervous system ; — when these appearances, or 
symptoms, as physicians call them, take place — 
let him beware! for punishment of a severer kind 
cannot be distant. 

I hope I shall have no reader to whom these 
remarks apply ; but should it be otherwise, happy 
will it be for him if he takes the alarm, and walks 
not another step in the downward road to certain 
and terrible retribution. Happiest, however, is he 
who has never erred from the first ; and who reads 
these pages as he reads of those awful scenes in 



346 THE YOUNG MAN T S GUIDE. 

Several works, on this subject. 



nature, — the devastations of the lightning, the de- 
luge, the tornado, the earthquake, and the volcano ; 
as things to be lamented, and their horrors if pos- 
sible mitigated or averted, but with which he has 
little personal concern. 

Sympathizing, however, with his fellow beings 
— for though fallen, they still belong to the same 
family — should any reader who sees this work, 
wish to examine the subject still more intimately, 1 
recommend to him a Lecture to Young Men, lately 
published in Providence. I would also refer him y 
to Rees' Cyclopedia, art. Physical Education. 

The article last referred to is so excellent, that I 
have decided on introducing, in this place, the 
closing paragraph. The writer had been treating 
the subject, much in the manner I have done, only 
at greater length, and had enumerated the diseases 
to which it leads, at the same time insisting on the 
importance of informing the young, in a prope? 
manner, of their danger, wherever the urgency of 
the case required it. After quoting numerous pas- 
sages of Scripture, which, in speaking of impurity, 
evidently include tnis practice, and denouncing it in 
severe terms, he closes with the following striking 
remarks. 

'There can be no doubt that God has forbidden 
it by the usual course of providence. Its moral 
effects, in destroying the purity of the mind, in 
swallowing up its best affections, and perverting 
its sensibilities into this depraved channel, are 



DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 347 



Extract continued. Contains judicious advice. 

among its most injurious consequences; and are 
what render it so peculiarly difficult to eradicate 
the evil. Jn proportion as the habit strengthens 
the difficulty of breaking it, of course, increases; 
and while the tendency of the feelings to this point 
increases, the vigor of the mind to effect the con- 
quest of the habit gradually lesseus. 

i We would tell him (the misguided young man) 
that whatever might, be said in newspapers respect- 
ing the power of medicine in such cases, nothing 
could be done without absolute self-control ; and 
that no medicine whatever could retrieve the mis- 
chiefs which the want of it had caused: and that 
the longer the practice was continued, the greater 
would be the bodily and mental evils it would 
inevitably occasion. 

'We would then advise him to avoid all situa- 
tions in which he found his propensities excited ; 
and especially, as far as possible, all in which they 
had been gratified; to check the thoughts and 
Images which excited them; to shun those asso- 
ciates, or at least that conversation, and those books, 
which have the same effect ; to avoid all stimulating 
food and liquor ; to sleep cool on a hard bed ; to 
rise early, and at once ; and to go to bed when likely 
to fall asleep at once ; to let his mind be constantly 
occupied, though not exerted to excess; and to let 
his bodily powers be actively employed, every day, 
to a degree which will make a hard bed the place 
of sound repose. 



348 THE YOUNG MAN f S GUIDE. 

Other forms of 1 cnntiousness do not escape punishment. 

' Above all, we would urge him to impress his; 
mind (at times when the mere thought of it would 
not do him harm) with a feeling of horror at the 
practice; to dwell upon its sinfulness and most 
injurious effects; and to cultivate, by every pos- 
sible means, an habitual sense of the constant pre- 
sence of a holy and heart-searching God, and ss 
lively conviction of the awful effects of his dis- 
pleasure.' 

I should be sorry to leave an impression on any 
mind that other forms of licentiousness are inno- 
cent, or that they entail no evils on the constitution.. 
I have endeavored to strike most forcibly, it is true,, 
at solitary vice; but it was for this plain reason,, 
that few of the young seem to regard it as any 
crime at all. Some even consider it indispensable 
to health. This belief I have endeavored to shake $ 
with how much success, eternity only can deter- 
mine. 

Of the guilt of those forms of irregularity, in 
which more than one individual and sex are neces- 
sarily concerned, many of the young are already 
apprized. At least they are generally acquainted 
with the more prominent evils which result from 
what they call excess. Still if lbllowed in what 
they deem moderation, and with certain precau- 
tions which could be named, not a few are ready to 
believe, at least in the moment of temptation, that 
there is no great harm in following their inclkusu 
ftions, 



DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 349 



Excess. Guilt far short <.f this. A great mistake made 

Now in regard to what constitutes excess, every 
one who is not moved by Christian principle, will 
of necessity, have his own standard, just as it is in 
regard to solitary vice, or the use of ardent spirits. 
And herein consists a part of the guilt. And it is 
not till this conviction of our constant tendency to 
establish an incorrect standard for ourselves, and to 
go, in the end, to the greatest lengths and depths 
and heights of guilt, 'can be well established in our 
minds, that we shall ever be induced to avoid the 
first steps in that road which may end in destruc- 
tion ; and to take as the only place of safety, the 
high ground of total abstinence. 

But although the young are not wholly destitute 
of a sense of the evils of what they call excess, 
and of the shame of what is well known to be its 
frequent and formidable results, — so far as them- 
selves are concerned, — yet they seem wholly igno- 
rant of any considerable danger short of this. For 
so far are they from admitting that the force of 
conscience is weakened by every repeated known 
and wilful transgression, many think, (as I have 
already stated) promiscuous intercourse, where no 
matrimonial rights are invaded, if it be so managed 
as to exempt the parties immediately concerned 
from all immediate suffering both moral and physi- 
cal, can scarcely be called a transgression, at all. 

I wish it were practicable to extend these re- 
marks far enough to show, as plain as noon-day 
light can make it, that every criminal act of this 
30 



350 THE YOUNG MAJN's GUIDE. 

Painful condition of a parent. Prevention better than cure. 

kind — I mean every instance of irregularity — not 
only produces evil to society generally, in the pre- 
sent generation, but also inflicts evil on those that 
follow. For to say nothing of those horrid cases 
where the infants of licentious parents not. only in- 
herit vicious dispositions, but ruined bodies — even 
to a degree, that in some instances excludes a 
possibility of the child's surviving many days; — 
there are other forms of disease often entaiied on 
the young which as certainly consign the sufferer 
to an eariy grave, though the passage thither may 
be more tedious and lingering. 

How must it wring the heart of a feeling young 
parent to see his first born child, which for any 
thing he knows, might have been possessed of a 
sound and vigorous body, like other children, enter 
the world with incipient scrofula, diseased joints or 
bones, and eruptive diseases, in some of their worst 
forms? Must not the sight sink him to the very 
dust? And would he not give worlds — had he 
worlds to give — to reverse those irreversible but 
inscrutable decrees of Heaven, which visit the sins 
of parents upon their descendants — ' unto the third 
and fourth generation ? ' 

But how easy is it, by timely reflection, and fixed 
moral principle, to prevent much of that disease 
which 'worlds' cannot wholly cure, when it is once 
inflicted ! 

I hazard nothing in saying, then — and I might 
appeal to the whole medical profession to sustain 



DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 351 

Recovery never coin plete Pe trful itetails. A desirable cli inge. 

me in my assertion — that no person whose system 
ever suffers, once, from those forms of disease 
which approach nearest to the character of special 
judgments of Heaven on sin or shame, can be sure 
of ever wholly recovering from their effects on his 
own person; aad what is still worse, can ever be 
sure of being the parent of a child whose constitu- 
tion shall be wholly untainted with disease, of one 
kind or another. 

This matter is not often understood by the com- 
munity generally ; especially by the young. I might 
tell them of the diseased eyesight; the ulcerated — 
perhaps deformed — nose and ears, and neck ; the 
discoloration, decay, and loss of teeth ; the destruc- 
tion of the palate, and the fearful inroads of dis- 
ease on many other soft parts of the body ; besides 
the softening and ulceration and decay and eventual 
destruction of the bones; and to crown all, the 
awfully offensive breath and perspiration; and I 
might entreat them to abstain, in the fear of God, 
from those abuses of the constitution which not 
unfrequently bring down upon them such severe 
forms of punishment. 

A thorough knowledge of the human system and 
the laws to which all organized bodies are subjected, 
would, in this respect, do much in behalf of man- 
kind ; for such would be the change of public sen- 
timent, that the sensual could not hold up their 
heads so boldly, as they now do, in the face of it. 
Happy for mankind when the vicious shall be 



352 THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE. 

Study of Physiology. A caution. The he.st youthful gtiidea. 

obliged, universally, to pass in review before this 
enlightened tribunal ! 

Young men ought to study physiology. It is 
indeed to be regretted that there are so few books 
on this subject adapted to popular use. But in ad- 
dition to those recommended at page 346, there 
are portions of several works which may be read 
with advantage by the young. Such are some of 
the more intelligible parts of Richerand's Physiolo- 
gy, as at page 38 of the edition with Dr. Chapman's 
notes; and of the ' Outlines of Physiology,' and the 
'Anatomical Class Book,' two works recently issued 
in Boston. It must, however, be confessed, that 
none of these works are sufficiently divested of 
technicalities, to be well adapted, as a whole, to the 
general reader. Physiology is one of those foun- 
tains at which it is somewhat dangerous to 'taste,' 
unless we 'drink deep ;' on account of the tendency 
of superficial knowledge to empiricism. Still, I am 
fully of the opinion that even superficial knowledge, 
on this long neglected topic, is less dangerous both 
to the individual and to the community, than entire 
ignorance. 

And after all, the best guides would be parents. 
When will Heaven confer such favors upon us? 
When will parents become parents indeed ? When 
will one father or mother in a hundred, exercise the 
true parental prerogative, and point out to those 
whom God has given them, as circumstances may 
from time to time demand, the most dangerous 



DISEASES OF LICENTIOUSNESS. 353 

Appeal to the young. Physical education neglected. 

rocks and whirlpools to which, in the voyage of 
life, they are exposed? When will every thing else 
be done for the young rather than that which ought 
never to be left undone ? 

Say not, young reader, that I am wandering. 
You may be a father. God grant that if you are, 
you may also act the parent. Let me beg you to 
resolve, and if necessary re-resolve. And not only 
resolve, but act. If you are ready to pronounce 
me enthusiastic on this subject, let me beg you to 
suspend your judgment till the responsibilities and 
the duties and the anxieties of a parent thicken 
round you. 

It is painful to see — every where — the most un- 
questionable evidence that this department of edu- 
cation is unheeded. Do you ask how the evidence 
is obtained ? I answer by asking you how the phy- 
sician can discover, — as undoubtedly he can, — the 
progress of the drinker of spirituous liquors, by his 
eye, his features, his breath, nay his very perspira- 
tion. And do you think that the sons or daugh- 
ters of sensuality, in any of its forms, and at any 
of its stages, can escape his observation ? 

"But of what use is his knowledge, if he may not 
communicate it ? What person would endure dis- 
closures of this kind respecting himself or his nearest, 
perhaps his dearest and most valued friends ? No! 
the physician's lips must be sealed, and his tongue 
dumb ; and the young must go down to their graves, 
rather than permit him to make any effort to save 
them, lest offence should be given ! 



354 THE YOUNG MAn's GUIDE. 



An example for parents. Closing remarks and appeal. 

The subject is, however, gaining a hold on the 
community, for which none of us can be too thank- 
ful. I am acquainted with more than one parent, 
who is a parent indeed ; for there is no more reserve 
on these subjects, than any other. The sons do not 
hesitate to ask parental counsel and seek parental 
aid, in every known path of temptation. Heaven 
grant that such instances may be speedily multi- 
plied. A greater work of reform can scarcely be 
desired or anticipated. 

But I must draw to a close. Oh that the young 
were wise, 5 and that they would ' consider !' 
* There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, 
but the end thereof is death.' 

There is, then, but one course for the young. 
Let them do that which they know to be right, and 
avoid not only that which they are sure is wrong, 
but that also of which they have doubts. Let them 
do this, moreover, in the fear and love of God. In 
the language of a great statesman of the United 
States to his nephew, a little before his death, let 
me exhort you, to c Give up property, give up every 
thing — give up even life itself, rather than presume 
to do an ivxmoral aeV Let me remind you too, of 
the declaration of that W ; .sdom which is Infinite; — 
•He that sinneth against God, destroketii 
his own soul.' 

END. 



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